Sept. 18, 2025
4 Inches Is Too Big | Thursday September 18, 2025
We start off today discussing a huge cheating scandal in rock skimming and why 3 inches is just right, then we discuss why turning old malls into GenX retirement homes is a good idea, and how long could you survive in the quietest place on Earth?
LINKS:
https://www.dexerto.com/entertainment/world-stone-skimming-championships-cheaters-outed-by-suspiciously-circular-stones-3251302/
https://www.atlasobscura.com/places/orfield-labs-quiet-chamber
The Treehouse Show is a Dallas based comedy podcast and radio show. Leave your worries outside and join Dan O'Malley, Trey Trenholm, Raj Sharma, and their guests for laughs about funny news, viral stories, and hilarious commentary.
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WEBVTT
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It is time believe your worries outside and laugh with
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us inside the treehouse. I'm Daniel Malley, along with Trey
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Trenholm and Raj Sharma. Jerry cauld will be along shortly.
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I have to admit something that's fairly embarrassing. My brain
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tricked me today, trick me good and hard.
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How's that.
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I read a headline and I tricked myself into thinking
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it was something other than it was. Okay, so I'm
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going to read this headline to you, and then I'll
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tell you how I misinterpreted it. A cheating scandal has
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rocked the World Stone Skimming Championships. That headline tricked me
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because I thought it meant a cheating scandal between contestants,
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like they were cheating on their spouses with one another
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and in collusion to fix the World Rock Skimming Championships.
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I was wrong.
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It was less nefarious as far as personal matters, more
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of a competitive cheating scandal because some of the competitives.
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Some of the competitors were found to be using suspiciously
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circular stones, and you're supposed to use natural ones. None
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of this has anything to do with anybody's spouses. As
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far as I know, This is how social media algorithms
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can mess with your brain. It's been showing me too
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much relationship ye stuff, and I've I started looking too
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deep into a matter.
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And it tricked me. So that's where I am.
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And how long have white people been doing this sport?
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It's an excellent question. I didn't even know the answer
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to that one.
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And further record, that's not white bashing.
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You're not saying it's bad that, you're not saying it's dumb.
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And honestly, it's just stereotyping, good old fashioned stereotyping.
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That's okay, you know.
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Honestly, is it white?
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Because it doesn't seem stupid enough to be just a
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white only sport.
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Oh, it's white skydiving, it's white.
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Mountain climbing.
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Mountain climbing is white skydiving. I think is kind of
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if you don't have a fear of heights. I think
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it's kind of open to everybody.
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Yeah, but have you seen some of the videos where
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they take like a trampoline up between yes, two hot
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air balloons. You know, I I've that just reeks of
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of Anglo.
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Yeah, yeah, I don't think that's I don't think that's
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ever been a black guy idea.
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Yeah, it's like they had a TV show on called
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Extreme Ironing. It was on for one season. I don't
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know if you ever saw it, and it's people like
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that would iron like on the side of a speedboat,
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and I was like every episode, I'm like, here's the
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whitest people in the world.
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Sometimes, though, you can get that wrong, because if I
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told you that there is a competitive bed making championship,
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would you assume.
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That's white people? Nope? Who would you assume that is?
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I would go Former Housekeeping, like fifteen year to twenty
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year veteran, Hispanic male, Ok, maybe Hispanic female.
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They might have a few, so they might have a
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few competitors. I don't know, but the Competitive bed Making
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Championships was loaded with Asian.
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Asian Oh Asian people too.
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Yeah, yeah, I can see that as well. And I
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tell you what, man, you want to see how to
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make a fricking bed? My god?
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Yeah, and that includes putting the comforter in the duvet
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cover with the buttons.
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Oh wow, I was I've seen a lot of.
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Things online that will blow my mind, but seeing someone
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fill a duvet cover with a down comforter in seconds
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every single time mind blown.
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Yeah, when they when they do the when housekeeping comes
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in here and they do my bed, it takes I
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mean all of about three minutes and they're done, like
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it's fantastic, Like it takes it takes them longer to
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do like the bathroom stuff. Yeah, and it does for
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the bet because they have that. It's down to a science.
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And I've stood there, just just stood there with the
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dog and just watch. I was like, look, I touched
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my dog. I was like, you need to watch this.
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This is a ma. You're trying to tell your puppy
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you don't know how good you have it.
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That's exactly right.
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So anyway, the World Stone Skimming Championships were recently rocked
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by a cheating scandal. Not cheating spouses that were competitors
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or anything like that, now, just the actual rocks they
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were using. Some competitors were found to be using suspiciously
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circular stones. Here in the States, we typically refer to
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it as stone skipping, but I guess across the pond
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they call it stone Skimming Championships. According to the competition's rules,
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stones must come from naturally occurring island slate and fit
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through a device called the ring.
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Of Truth.
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To ensure they are the right size.
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I'll tell you right now, it's pretty impressive that a
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predominantly white sport would be brave enough to have any
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item called the Ring of Truth to ensure they're the
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right size. By the way, the Ring of Truth allows
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for stones no bigger than three inches in diameter. So
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maybe another reason why this is such a popular sport
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among the whites.
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I don't want to know how they measured the wrongs
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with stones to find someone with four inches four inches.
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I mean, but imagine the trash talking would just be legendary.
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I skip with the stones from stone Hinge.
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Their performance enhancing rocks.
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Yes, sorry, it was a competition hosted by the Rock.
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That would be amazing. That's a beautiful branding opportunity.
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The Rock Skimming Championships organizer said that when the offenders
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were caught, they held their hands up and ultimately apologized.
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They were eventually disqualified. He did say there was a
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little bit of stone doctoring. They shaped it so that
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it was perfectly circular and fitted our three inch measurer.
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The problem was we didn't just notice at the time
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that they were using suspiciously circular The event was held
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in Scotland. It was actually eventually won by an American
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Yay Go America named Jonathan Jennings. He managed to skip
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his stones for a total of how many feet do
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you think? How many feet do you think? American Jonathan
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Jennings skipped a rock to become the world champion in
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World rock skimming.
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So he said, how many skips?
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How many feet?
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How many feet? Here eighty.
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Raj?
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And he guesses, op, he is so stunned. He locked up,
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just like me the other day, Raj, What is your guess?
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How many feet do you think? American World Rock Skimming Championship,
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World rock Skimming Champion Jonathan Jennings skipped a stone to win?
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How many feet?
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How many feet?
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Six and a half?
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All right, Trey's guess was eighty eighty feet? You are
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both way way low this.
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This guy skipped a rock five hundred and eighty feet
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roughly two football fields. Think about the longest skip you
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ever got out of a stone. And now watch this
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guy just a literated yes, because my number is zero.
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You've never done it?
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No, you never?
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Or is it because you tried and failed or you
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just never even tried.
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I've never seen the the reason to try to skip
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a stone across water. Oh, my dad's never like, son,
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let's let's go out by the pond and you know,
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reminisce about things in the and then skip stone like
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we didn't do that.
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It was commercial.
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He didn't take you around the shoulders and pull you
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in and say, today's son, I'm going to show you
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some things. I'm going to show you some things that
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every father shows his son.
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He did.
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And then it was like math books and physics books
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and calculator from.
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T I and you weren't allowed to skip any of those.
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No.
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No, Yeah, I'm incredible.
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I am absolutely stuck five hundred and eighty feet for
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shooting a rock across the surface of a body of water.
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That is stunning to me. Yeah.
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How big is that arm just one side? It's massive?
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Or is he an ambidextrious skipper? I don't know how
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that works. I don't know the categories. Is it like
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you know, number of skips or length of y like
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you're saying, is there purely?
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It's purely how far can it go?
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Okay, that's why Maybe it's that's why it called skimming,
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because it's skimming off the top. They don't care how
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many times it bounces.
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Yeah, honestly because if if you're really thinking about it, though,
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at five hundred and eighty feet, I don't think you'd
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be able to physically count how many skips that stone makes,
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Like you'd have to do it by computer or something.
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Yeah, well, what's the what's the prize like for something
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like that?
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I don't know.
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I was just more concerned about the uh, the cheating scandal. Okay,
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it says here the competition does not involve millions in winnings.
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It's held annually to raise money for local causes, including
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several community projects and charities. So uh, basically bragging rights. Yeah,
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it's a charity event.
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So not near as scandalous as the bass fishing you know,
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tournament cheating that went on.
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No, because that was serious money involved, as we know
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from years ago.
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Yeah, that involved stuff in weights down our.
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Mouth, plus the stuff with the fish.
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Yeah, you're in the Treehouse.
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Visit us online at Treehouse on air dot com.
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Let's get Daniel Cook from Cook DFW Roofing and Restoration
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into the Treehouse, where we've spent a fair amount of
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time Recentlyannel on the show discussing various animals and their
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nasty afflictions. It wasn't that long ago we were talking
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about the tentacle bunnies, the Frankenstein bunnies, and recently we've
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heard about the zombies squirrels. These are the ones with
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pus filled wart sores on their heads, terrorizing backyards in
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North America.
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And I'm wondering, as.
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A roofing guy, have you seen any zombie squirrels, any
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any tentacle bunnies, any other creature that you've seen that
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we need to let people know about, any any roof demons.
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Actually, I'm been very fortunate. I have not seen anything
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in person like that, but I did. I looked all
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of those up. The pictures are kind of scary. I mean,
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I'd be honest with you, if I saw one of
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those bunnies or squirrels in my yard, I'd be like,
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what the hell?
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So maybe, well, just imagine the homeowner when you get
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down from that free roof inspection. You got to tell them, all, right, look,
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the good news is your roof is good. The bad
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news is you got zombie squirrels.
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You got zombie squirrels. How about that? That would almost
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be like a new spin off of the company. We
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could be like the zombie squirrel exterminators. That'd be awesome,
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but that is very common. You get squirrels in times
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of roofs all the time. People don't understand how, but
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they can chew and they can claw through that wood
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trim that's around their corners of your homes. And that's
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very very common, especially in that older Plino Original Allen
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Original McKinney area, all that old you know wood homes,
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late eighties, early nineties, that those roads.
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We had that issue with our house in Carlton. The
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house was built in the firement. It was built in
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the early eighties and we had to have some soffit
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repair because squirrels had found away into those areas And
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we're running rampant in our in our in our attic and.
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That happens a lot. But how terrifying you'd be laying
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in bed at night and you could hear the zombie
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squirrels walking around up there going nuts, nuts, brains whatever.
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I don't know.
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So if you want to check your roof for any
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damage whatsoever, including zombie squirrel damage, you called Daniel and
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his team at COOKDFW Roofing and Restoration for free eight
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three three Cook DFW eight three three Cook DFW or
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that website cookdfw dot com.
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You're listening to the Treehouse, Visit us online at Treehouseonair
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dot com.
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This segment of the Treehouse Show is brought to you
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by COOKDFW Roofing and Restoration.
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To get your free roof.
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Inspection called Daniel Cook today eight three three Cook DFW
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