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It is time to leave your worries outside and laugh
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with us inside the treehouse. I'm Daniel Malley, along with
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Trey Trenholm, Raj Sharma and Jerry Caldwell. Yes, it is
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a full treehouse today, Wednesday, January twenty ninth, twenty twenty five.
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Hello Trey, Hello Dan, Hello, Raj, Hello Dan, Hi Jerry,
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Hello Dan. Are you boys ready for the penis of
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the future.
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I didn't know we had one of the past.
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Well, brace yourselves, okay, oh man, there is good news.
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The human penis has grown at an alarming rate over
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the past thirty years. That's according to a twenty twenty
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three Stanford University study that found the average Euroic penis
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jumped twenty five percent in length between nineteen ninety two
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and twenty twenty one. So it turns out gen Z's
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doing something right the average length jump.
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Actually, wouldn't that be gen X doing something right.
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It'd be us.
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Oh, that's true, because that would be us producing the
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gen Z bangers. Anyway, the average link, they say, from
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ninety two to twenty twenty one jump from four point
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eight to six inches. Not bad this momentum, by the way,
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could see the average link of male members pushed past
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eight and a half inches by the year twenty one
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one hundred, which really makes you think long and hard
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about star trek. In the twenty third and twenty fourth centuries.
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We'll all be dead.
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At least, that's what and now we know why. But
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we will be stiff.
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I don't want to be in prison in twenty one hundred.
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Oh no, that's its own deterrent. Yeah, but things are
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looking up from me. In recent studies have shown that the
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average penis is growing, but there's a lot more than
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that in store for the male sex organ that's according
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to experts that talk to the Daily Mail, Stronger swimmers,
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automated implants, built in contraception, and other features could soon
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grace our male reproductive anatomy in the not too distant future.
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Now you're talking, yeah, According to a professor of biological
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anthropology at Oxford Brooks University, he says, if there is
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enough demand driven by fashion or societal trends, for tweaking
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bits of the body, then we're probably not that far
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away from being able to genetically do that with the
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male member. This professor, his name Simon, underdown.
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That it wasn't overgrown.
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Oh, man, talk about taking something that is most unfortunate
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when you're in school, Yeah, and turning it right around.
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Well, I mean, if it's big enough and might be
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able to look back at you, you might be able
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to look eye to eye with the anyway. So yeah,
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advancements in technology are going to be beneficial to us
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as men and terrifying to those subjected to it.
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Yeah, I mean you're pegging is gonna be worse. Oh God,
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I got to it before traded.
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I could see it on his face.
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I don't know if anyone's more excited than my wife.
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According of a reality anyway, back to doctor underdown, he says,
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if there is enough demand, all right, he says, that's
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what makes humans really interesting. We're close to the point
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at which we can mess about with biological processes because
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we want to, rather than there being a strong biological
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selective pressure. Researchers hypothesize that environmental factors, not evolution, may
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have catalyzed rapid growth downstairs for us men, things like
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pollution or certain lifestyle habits. Hey, look, there is I
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guess there is a benefit to rampant pollution. According to
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the lead author of the study, who doesn't have a
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name as interesting as doctor Underdown. He says, if we're
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seeing this fast of a change, it means that something
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powerful is happening to our bodies. Yeah, Like like Spider
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Man's uncle says, with great power comes great responsibility. However,
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they say sizing up could spell problems for the female anatomy,
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which may not be able to accommodate the change in men,
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creating a new hurdle to pregnancy. I think that's simple enough.
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You just she's in one corner of the room, you're
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in the other. Just try anyway. Another area ripe for
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improvement is motility of our swimmers. Bioengineers might look to
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enhance movement or shape to make them even more efficient
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and likely to penetrate the eggs cell membrane sharper sharper swimmers.
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Yep, we're doomed.
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There's there's see. This is this is what happens with
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drastic medical advancements, is the complications from them, things that
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maybe you hadn't thought about when these advancements are made,
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Like like sharp swimmers.
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Well, doctor Underdown doesn't know how strong some people's pullout
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game is.
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H But you're also talking about bioengineering and it's gonna
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really become prevalent with the generation.
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And who thinks faced two are a good idea?
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M yep, yep, that's very true. So yeah, anyway, science
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is now telling us that they believe the penis of
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the future is coming soon.
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Y like you're strapped on six thousand via Amazon?
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Does that in Puerto Rico too?
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Yeah?
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The Amazon? The Amazon shipments are real pain.
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The Virgin Islands are afraid of it.
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They can't say virgin anymore.
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Exactly.
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It's just the islands now.
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The crying Islands. The good news is I feel like
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we found a plot for the fourth Back to the
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Future movie.
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Go say the Island's virginity.
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I can't wait for the adult version of that.
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Tree House listen us online at Treehouse on Air dot com. Ordians,
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listen us online a Treehouse on Air dot com.
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If you like the tree House show, although right now
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I don't because I'm surrounded by a bunch of jerks,
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then you'll love us on social media, So give us
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a follow. At Treehouse on Air is our handle across
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all social media platforms. At Treehouse on Air is our handle.
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And now I wish I was saying something other than
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handle after that story we just did about the male
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member growing across all social media platforms at Treehouse on air.
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Thank you very much.
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Give us a follow week.
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Dan, Trey, Raj and Jerry called well with you inside
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the Treehouse today on Wednesday, January twenty ninth, twenty twenty five.
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We're Trey. Was your dad after he passed? Was he buried? Cremated? Both?
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Some people do that as.
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Well, cremated and then.
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My stepmother and I buried his ashes just in a
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sentimental spot.
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Gotcha?
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Did you keep the ashes, any of the ashes?
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No?
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Okay?
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Raj? What about what about your folks?
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Both of them were cremated, okay, by Hindu tradition. Gotcha?
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Now is do you did you keep any of those ashes?
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No?
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We take them to the Ganges River in India and
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then there's a prayer ceremony that's done, and then the
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ashes are put in the river.
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Gotcha.
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Okay, Jerry, not to be you know, crude, but are
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your parents still with us?
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No?
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Okay, my adoptive family. I am an orphan.
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I know my biological mother died a couple of months
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before the tornado hit my house in twenty nineteen. So
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but I do have some of her ashes right over there.
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Okay, so you have some of the ashes, Okay, yes,
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I'm kind of fascinated by this. My mom is still living,
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my dad is not. I don't and we don't have
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any ashes or anything, and so I'm fascinated when people
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have them. I know if some people, I don't know
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if it's a cultural thing or just a personal preference.
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I have no idea. I've known people who will have
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some ashes put into jewelry and they'll wear it around
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with them and things. But apparently when you have a
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family member cremated, one option is to disperse some of
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their ashes to family members who want them, and they'll
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put them in different containers so everyone can have a
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piece of the loved one. So there's one example of
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this where a lady got some of her father and
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it was put into a plastic vial in the shape
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of a cross, and that's where her dad or part
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of her dad ashes were put. And based on a
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video she posted on TikTok, she kept it in the
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closet next to a camera. She kept Papa in a
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little vial in the shape of a cross in the
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back of her closet. On a shelf. And I cannot
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stress this enough. If you are a parent, it is
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of the utmost importance that you know where your children
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are at all times. And I don't think there's a
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better example of this than this lady's papa ashes in
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the back of her closet because she lost track of
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her children long enough to where they got into Papa's ashes.
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And she doesn't know, she doesn't know exactly what they
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did with them. Okay, now I'm going to let her
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share with you her version of of of these events
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as they played out in the back of her closet.
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The boys got Paul, Paul, they got him, and they
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dumped him out all over my carpet.
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That's pretty bad, right, They get into the closet, they
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get Papaul's ashes, and they throw them onto the carpet.
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But that's not all.
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And I didn't realize it with Paul Paul, and I
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vacuumed him up.
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Wow.
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Okay, no no, no, wait, no, no, no way, it's
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about to get worse.
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Ah, they may have eaten some of them too.
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Are her kids not old enough to read?
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I may have eaten some of them too.
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Because Ronnie had the cap in his mouth and Jesus. Yeah,
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Jesus is the theme here. I mean, see, this is
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why you don't have kids.
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Well, this is also where that first story ties in
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about them. You know, Crank's getting bigger and motility getting
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better because they're going to have to produce more because
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they're producing idiots that eat tide pods and ashes.
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Yes, I agree with that statement.
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I was hoping that was all going to take care
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of itself.
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But of course not, of course not, of course.
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Not stupid always finds a way.
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I know.
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This show exists.
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Visit us online at Treehouse on air dot com.
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You're listening to the Treehouse, Visit us online at Treehouse
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on Air dot com.
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Do what Cindy said for all things Treehouse. Go to
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Treehouse on Air dot com. That's Treehouse on Air dot com,
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where you can find past shows, links, contact info, and
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more all right there on our website, Treehouse on Air
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dot com. That's Treehouse on Air dot com. Their ridiculous
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train is rolling on today. Inside the Treehouse. It seems
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Japan is having a problem with monkeys trying to mate
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with deer. First world problems, it really is. But if
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there were ever a country, I mean that's that's the
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country that would probably you know, have the issue. Yeah,
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this is weird because in twenty fifteen, in twenty fifteen,
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hang on, I brain farting. In twenty fifteen, on an
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island in Japan, a male macock monkey jumped up onto
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the back of a female Sika deer and started trying
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to mate with it. At the time, researchers believed that
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the male's low ranking status might be driving the unusual behavior,
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perhaps serving as an outlet for having no breeding opportunities
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within his own species that's also common in Florida. In
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other words, it appeared to be a one off encounter
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which just so happened to have been caught on camera.
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But then in twenty eighteen, it happened again, only this time,
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five female macock monkeys were riding and rubbing male deer.
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And what's more, the behavior appeared in a total new
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area from the previous situation. Meanwhile, back on the original
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island of deering by monkeys, researchers kept seeing the deer
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mounting behavior in twenty twenty, twenty twenty one, and twenty
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twenty three. I guess they took twenty twenty two off. Interestingly,
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some of the later incidents appeared to involve this same
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male that first initiated the behavior. In twenty fifteen, researchers
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were able to identify the original monkey based on his
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striking almond shaped eyes, though they can't be absolutely sure
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it's the same one, Trey, You were right when you said,
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of all countries that this would happen Japan. Makes sense because.
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Just Jesus Christ, Amen, monkey's got a monkey, and that
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is true. They call him a cacs for a reason.
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If the animal truly is the same monkey, other monkeys
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in the troop may have learned deer mounting from him,
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spreading the behavior through what's known as social transmission. Scientists
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also say what's interesting is maybe the first time the
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male did it was due to sexual frustration, so for
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one specific purpose. But now the male has ascended to
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a dominant rank and the females around him are doing