Jan. 29, 2025
Bambi and The Macaques | Wednesday January 29, 2025
We start off the show learning that the world is getting bigger dicks, then about some kids who might have accidently eaten PawPaw, Japanese Macaques gone wild with deers, the TEMU Rick James, a thrilling movie review by Dan, and a follow up to the...
We start off the show learning that the world is getting bigger dicks, then about some kids who might have accidently eaten PawPaw, Japanese Macaques gone wild with deers, the TEMU Rick James, a thrilling movie review by Dan, and a follow up to the escaped monkeys in South Carolina. But first, Birthdays!
LINKS:
Report predicts what the 'penis of the future' looks like
(29)#fyp #toddlersoftiktok #ashes #PawPaw #vacuum | TikTok
These monkeys keep trying to mate with deer—scientists have a few theories why
All the monkeys that escaped from a South Carolina research facility have been recaptured
ADHD linked to shorter life expectancy, study finds | CNN
The Treehouse is a daily DFW based comedy podcast and radio show. Leave your worries outside and join Dan O'Malley, Trey Trenholm, Raj Sharma, and their guests for laughs about current events, stupid news, and the comedy that is their lives. If it's stupid, it's in here.
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WEBVTT
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It is time to leave your worries outside and laugh
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with us inside the treehouse. I'm Daniel Malley, along with
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Trey Trenholm, Raj Sharma and Jerry Caldwell. Yes, it is
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a full treehouse today, Wednesday, January twenty ninth, twenty twenty five.
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Hello Trey, Hello Dan, Hello, Raj, Hello Dan, Hi Jerry,
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Hello Dan. Are you boys ready for the penis of
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the future.
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I didn't know we had one of the past.
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Well, brace yourselves, okay, oh man, there is good news.
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The human penis has grown at an alarming rate over
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the past thirty years. That's according to a twenty twenty
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three Stanford University study that found the average Euroic penis
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jumped twenty five percent in length between nineteen ninety two
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and twenty twenty one. So it turns out gen Z's
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doing something right the average length jump.
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Actually, wouldn't that be gen X doing something right.
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It'd be us.
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Oh, that's true, because that would be us producing the
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gen Z bangers. Anyway, the average link, they say, from
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ninety two to twenty twenty one jump from four point
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eight to six inches. Not bad this momentum, by the way,
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could see the average link of male members pushed past
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eight and a half inches by the year twenty one
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one hundred, which really makes you think long and hard
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about star trek. In the twenty third and twenty fourth centuries.
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We'll all be dead.
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At least, that's what and now we know why. But
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we will be stiff.
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I don't want to be in prison in twenty one hundred.
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Oh no, that's its own deterrent. Yeah, but things are
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looking up from me. In recent studies have shown that the
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average penis is growing, but there's a lot more than
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that in store for the male sex organ that's according
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to experts that talk to the Daily Mail, Stronger swimmers,
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automated implants, built in contraception, and other features could soon
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grace our male reproductive anatomy in the not too distant future.
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Now you're talking, yeah, According to a professor of biological
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anthropology at Oxford Brooks University, he says, if there is
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enough demand driven by fashion or societal trends, for tweaking
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bits of the body, then we're probably not that far
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away from being able to genetically do that with the
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male member. This professor, his name Simon, underdown.
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That it wasn't overgrown.
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Oh, man, talk about taking something that is most unfortunate
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when you're in school, Yeah, and turning it right around.
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Well, I mean, if it's big enough and might be
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able to look back at you, you might be able
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to look eye to eye with the anyway. So yeah,
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advancements in technology are going to be beneficial to us
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as men and terrifying to those subjected to it.
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Yeah, I mean you're pegging is gonna be worse. Oh God,
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I got to it before traded.
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I could see it on his face.
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I don't know if anyone's more excited than my wife.
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According of a reality anyway, back to doctor underdown, he says,
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if there is enough demand, all right, he says, that's
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what makes humans really interesting. We're close to the point
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at which we can mess about with biological processes because
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we want to, rather than there being a strong biological
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selective pressure. Researchers hypothesize that environmental factors, not evolution, may
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have catalyzed rapid growth downstairs for us men, things like
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pollution or certain lifestyle habits. Hey, look, there is I
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guess there is a benefit to rampant pollution. According to
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the lead author of the study, who doesn't have a
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name as interesting as doctor Underdown. He says, if we're
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seeing this fast of a change, it means that something
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powerful is happening to our bodies. Yeah, Like like Spider
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Man's uncle says, with great power comes great responsibility. However,
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they say sizing up could spell problems for the female anatomy,
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which may not be able to accommodate the change in men,
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creating a new hurdle to pregnancy. I think that's simple enough.
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You just she's in one corner of the room, you're
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in the other. Just try anyway. Another area ripe for
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improvement is motility of our swimmers. Bioengineers might look to
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enhance movement or shape to make them even more efficient
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and likely to penetrate the eggs cell membrane sharper sharper swimmers.
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Yep, we're doomed.
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There's there's see. This is this is what happens with
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drastic medical advancements, is the complications from them, things that
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maybe you hadn't thought about when these advancements are made,
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Like like sharp swimmers.
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Well, doctor Underdown doesn't know how strong some people's pullout
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game is.
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H But you're also talking about bioengineering and it's gonna
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really become prevalent with the generation.
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And who thinks faced two are a good idea?
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M yep, yep, that's very true. So yeah, anyway, science
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is now telling us that they believe the penis of
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the future is coming soon.
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Y like you're strapped on six thousand via Amazon?
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Does that in Puerto Rico too?
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Yeah?
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The Amazon? The Amazon shipments are real pain.
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The Virgin Islands are afraid of it.
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They can't say virgin anymore.
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Exactly.
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It's just the islands now.
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The crying Islands. The good news is I feel like
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we found a plot for the fourth Back to the
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Future movie.
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Go say the Island's virginity.
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I can't wait for the adult version of that.
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Tree House listen us online at Treehouse on Air dot com. Ordians,
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listen us online a Treehouse on Air dot com.
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If you like the tree House show, although right now
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I don't because I'm surrounded by a bunch of jerks,
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then you'll love us on social media, So give us
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a follow. At Treehouse on Air is our handle across
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all social media platforms. At Treehouse on Air is our handle.
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And now I wish I was saying something other than
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handle after that story we just did about the male
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member growing across all social media platforms at Treehouse on air.
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Thank you very much.
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Give us a follow week.
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Dan, Trey, Raj and Jerry called well with you inside
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the Treehouse today on Wednesday, January twenty ninth, twenty twenty five.
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We're Trey. Was your dad after he passed? Was he buried? Cremated? Both?
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Some people do that as.
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Well, cremated and then.
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My stepmother and I buried his ashes just in a
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sentimental spot.
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Gotcha?
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Did you keep the ashes, any of the ashes?
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No?
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Okay?
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Raj? What about what about your folks?
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Both of them were cremated, okay, by Hindu tradition. Gotcha?
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Now is do you did you keep any of those ashes?
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No?
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We take them to the Ganges River in India and
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then there's a prayer ceremony that's done, and then the
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ashes are put in the river.
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Gotcha.
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Okay, Jerry, not to be you know, crude, but are
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your parents still with us?
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No?
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Okay, my adoptive family. I am an orphan.
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I know my biological mother died a couple of months
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before the tornado hit my house in twenty nineteen. So
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but I do have some of her ashes right over there.
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Okay, so you have some of the ashes, Okay, yes,
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I'm kind of fascinated by this. My mom is still living,
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my dad is not. I don't and we don't have
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any ashes or anything, and so I'm fascinated when people
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have them. I know if some people, I don't know
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if it's a cultural thing or just a personal preference.
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I have no idea. I've known people who will have
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some ashes put into jewelry and they'll wear it around
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with them and things. But apparently when you have a
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family member cremated, one option is to disperse some of
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their ashes to family members who want them, and they'll
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put them in different containers so everyone can have a
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piece of the loved one. So there's one example of
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this where a lady got some of her father and
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it was put into a plastic vial in the shape
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of a cross, and that's where her dad or part
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of her dad ashes were put. And based on a
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video she posted on TikTok, she kept it in the
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closet next to a camera. She kept Papa in a
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little vial in the shape of a cross in the
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back of her closet. On a shelf. And I cannot
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stress this enough. If you are a parent, it is
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of the utmost importance that you know where your children
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are at all times. And I don't think there's a
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better example of this than this lady's papa ashes in
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the back of her closet because she lost track of
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her children long enough to where they got into Papa's ashes.
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And she doesn't know, she doesn't know exactly what they
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did with them. Okay, now I'm going to let her
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share with you her version of of of these events
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as they played out in the back of her closet.
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The boys got Paul, Paul, they got him, and they
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dumped him out all over my carpet.
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That's pretty bad, right, They get into the closet, they
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get Papaul's ashes, and they throw them onto the carpet.
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But that's not all.
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And I didn't realize it with Paul Paul, and I
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vacuumed him up.
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Wow.
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Okay, no no, no, wait, no, no, no way, it's
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about to get worse.
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Ah, they may have eaten some of them too.
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Are her kids not old enough to read?
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I may have eaten some of them too.
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Because Ronnie had the cap in his mouth and Jesus. Yeah,
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Jesus is the theme here. I mean, see, this is
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why you don't have kids.
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Well, this is also where that first story ties in
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about them. You know, Crank's getting bigger and motility getting
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better because they're going to have to produce more because
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they're producing idiots that eat tide pods and ashes.
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Yes, I agree with that statement.
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I was hoping that was all going to take care
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of itself.
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But of course not, of course not, of course.
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Not stupid always finds a way.
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I know.
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This show exists.
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Visit us online at Treehouse on air dot com.
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You're listening to the Treehouse, Visit us online at Treehouse
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on Air dot com.
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Do what Cindy said for all things Treehouse. Go to
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Treehouse on Air dot com. That's Treehouse on Air dot com,
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where you can find past shows, links, contact info, and
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more all right there on our website, Treehouse on Air
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dot com. That's Treehouse on Air dot com. Their ridiculous
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train is rolling on today. Inside the Treehouse. It seems
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Japan is having a problem with monkeys trying to mate
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with deer. First world problems, it really is. But if
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there were ever a country, I mean that's that's the
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country that would probably you know, have the issue. Yeah,
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this is weird because in twenty fifteen, in twenty fifteen,
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hang on, I brain farting. In twenty fifteen, on an
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island in Japan, a male macock monkey jumped up onto
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the back of a female Sika deer and started trying
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to mate with it. At the time, researchers believed that
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the male's low ranking status might be driving the unusual behavior,
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perhaps serving as an outlet for having no breeding opportunities
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within his own species that's also common in Florida. In
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other words, it appeared to be a one off encounter
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which just so happened to have been caught on camera.
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But then in twenty eighteen, it happened again, only this time,
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five female macock monkeys were riding and rubbing male deer.
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And what's more, the behavior appeared in a total new
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area from the previous situation. Meanwhile, back on the original
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island of deering by monkeys, researchers kept seeing the deer
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mounting behavior in twenty twenty, twenty twenty one, and twenty
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twenty three. I guess they took twenty twenty two off. Interestingly,
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some of the later incidents appeared to involve this same
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male that first initiated the behavior. In twenty fifteen, researchers
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were able to identify the original monkey based on his
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striking almond shaped eyes, though they can't be absolutely sure
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it's the same one, Trey, You were right when you said,
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of all countries that this would happen Japan. Makes sense because.
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Just Jesus Christ, Amen, monkey's got a monkey, and that
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is true. They call him a cacs for a reason.
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If the animal truly is the same monkey, other monkeys
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in the troop may have learned deer mounting from him,
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spreading the behavior through what's known as social transmission. Scientists
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also say what's interesting is maybe the first time the
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male did it was due to sexual frustration, so for
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one specific purpose. But now the male has ascended to
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