WEBVTT
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It is time to believe your worries outside and laugh with
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us inside the treehouse. I'm Daniel Malley, along with Trey
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Trenholm and Raj Sharma. The good news for us is
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that outside of our tree house is not a hurricane.
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Because our tree house is not based in Florida. We're
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based in Texas. There's plenty of bad stuff outside on
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any given day of anyone's house, but outside our treehouse
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right now not so bad, especially compared to the entire
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Western ghost to Florida also known as the Underside, you know,
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because Florida is a you know what I mean at
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the time of this recording, because in case you didn't know,
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this show is not exactly live, but we're you know,
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we're close ish Uncle Milty, as I've started to call him,
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That's what I was calling him.
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This morn is.
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A category four. It was supposed to be. It was
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a five, then a dropped to a four, and then
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it as it hit Land, supposed to be a three.
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And while that sounds better, it's still really really bad.
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Allow me to expand on that. Millions flee ahead of
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Hurricane Milton, expected to be the strongest storm in the
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Gulf of Mexico since two thousand five. It was initially
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supposed to hit the Tampa Bay area directly, but then
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it sort of turned to the south a little bit,
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aiming more towards Sarasota. Experts were warning the storm surge
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could reach fifteen feet. Nearly six million Floridians across eleven
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counties and coastal and low lying areas were under mandatory
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or voluntary evacuation orders. Thousands of flights have been canceled
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as of Tuesday, probably more than that now. Milton was
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likely to weaken into a Category three before it hit land,
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but experts worn, but experts worn, it will still have
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devastating effects. Tampa Mayor Jane Caster said that debris left
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over from Hurricane Helene two weeks ago could be picked
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up by Milton and used as a weapony.
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So as if it's the old ron joke, it's not
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that the winds are blowing, it's what the winds are blowing.
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It's true.
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It's very true. Like it's really funny to see Jim Cantour,
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you know, kind of pushed by the wind across a
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sea wall or something. But you know, if a cement
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truck comes flying down that that sea walling and smashes
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into him. Then that's not gonna be as funny.
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And I don't understand the the people that are like, no,
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we're staying. I'm like, leave, I don't know what else
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to tell you. And then and then bad stuff happens
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to them, and I'm like, we can't believe this happened
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to us.
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I was like, they've been warning you for days.
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They don't get out. Yeah, yeah, I saw. I saw
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a great meme the other day, because you know, we're
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at the we're getting towards the tail end of hurricane season,
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but this is around the time when the storms have
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a tendency to be the worst. It's later in the season.
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I know this now because not about an island. But
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one of the memes I saw was with Johnny as
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Jack Sparrow in Pirates of the Caribbean, and it showed basically,
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you know, coastal residents, island residents, whatever it is. If
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you live in places where hurricanes are of somewhat regular occurrence,
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it's a category one. You're just kind of standing out
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in the sun like Jack Sparrow's happy. Category two, he's
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got the bottle of rum turned vertical and he's just
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kind of partying. Or maybe that was for category three,
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but once it shut up, like category four or five,
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it's just Jack Sparrow running down the beach in the
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opposite direction, going hell no. There is a certain ego
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that goes along with living in paths of hurricanes and
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being able to kind of flux your muscles in with
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stand them. But my God, at a certain point, get
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the hell out.
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Well it's and you understand that they get a little
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bit of fatigue because they get a lot of warnings
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and sometimes they you know, like this one's done, they
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wobble and they'll miss them and don't take a direct hit.
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Yeah, but I'm why risk it?
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I mean, because the downside isn't worth whatever, you know, Yeah,
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the downside is you're dead.
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Yeah, yeah, that's what I'm That's my point, like the
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upside downside like pro conic, what's the pro uh it
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misses us, what's the you know, what's the we all die?
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Well, let's just go you're not Lieutenant Dan, you know
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who's climbed up to the crow's nest on your on
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your shrimp boat and screaming at God type of thing.
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And then you survive and you go outside and you
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flex gor especially if you do that in the middle
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of the storm, you might get hit by that cement truck.
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At the end of the day, it's dangerous. And when
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you have any storm that reaches a certain level of severity,
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I think you need to revisit what you've named it,
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because people are not going to be afraid of something
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called Milton. For me, it reminds me of my great
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uncle Milford, and the only thing he ever flooded was
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his pants. So if you really want to strike fear
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into people and get them to actually evacuate ahead of
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these storms, you need to rename them to match their severity.
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Don't get me wrong. Referring to a category five or
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four whatever hurricane is, Uncle Milty is kind of is
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kind of funny, but it's going to destroy a lot
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of stuff and it's gonna kill people. So let's name
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it something you know, scary to get people to leave,
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like Methuselah.
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Yeah, Marcellus Wallace, Yes.
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Yes, Hurricane Schwarzenator, Like that's right.
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This this has to be an m storm. So if
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you once you find out like okay, you like when
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it becomes tropical storm. Okay, it's Milton, right, because it
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goes to the m because it starts out as something
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and then it becomes an invest and then it becomes
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a depression, and then you name it and it's a
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tropical storm and it's Milton, and then it keeps that
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as it becomes a hurricane. But once it becomes I
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think a severe hurricane, change that name, like Trey, you said,
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you changed this from Milton to Marcellus Wallace. People will
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absolutely get out of Florida.
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Yeah, you got Sam Jackson to your p sas.
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Say what again, You'll think Marcellus Wallace is a bitch.
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And then he just starts reading, you know, from the Bible,
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and people are just going out of town.
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Man, They're not They're.
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Not taking any chances because you don't want to get
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taken out by Marcellus Wallace.
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And Florida is like it's filled with very old people.
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And so when you have when you name a hurricane
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Milton and you tell them like, hey, guys, you need
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to leave, Milton's coming, they just think a guest from
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where they have wherever they used to live. Yeah, Milton's
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coming sounds great.
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Yeah, from from four doors down and it'll take him
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a couple of days to get there, but you'll be
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excited to see him. But not if it's Marcellus Wallace.
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No.
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I saw it was a post Facebook someone Evidently there's
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someone people stuck on a cruise ship that's anchored outside
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of Tampa, Okay. And they were showing the deck of
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the ship because evidently, and I have never heard of
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this before, but the hurricane, the airplanes you know that
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go in there, the hurricane tracker planes, so that there
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were flocks of birds stuck in the eyewall.
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Oh boy, but this cruise ship, she's just showing it.
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Dead birds just dropping from the sky all over the deck,
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so much so they had to close the deck. That's
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what I'm like, get the lifeboat out, get me to shore.
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No.
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Yeah, once the birds start falling from the sky, I'm out.
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Uh huh.
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I am not going to ride out any storm with
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dead birds falling on the deck of the ship. I
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don't care how big that boat is. I am out.
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I will I will do my best Jesus impersonation.
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I don't know.
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It's a cruise ship. So I'm like, is the buffet
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and the casino is still open? Because then I can
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do that. I just don't have to stay. I don't
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have to stare at the deck. I don't have to
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go out for any reason. But if the bar is
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right there and the casino's open, you got a button maker.
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Real hard to figure out which what number the ball
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fell on for roulette, especially if you're upside down.
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You're in the tree house.
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Visit us online at freehouseonair dot com.
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Let's get Daniel Cook into the tree house. Eight three
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three cook DFW is the phone number to get your
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free roof inspection and you get yourself on the cooklist
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the website cookdfw dot com. You can go there and
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take a look at some of the projects that they've done.
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And yes, you are a roofing company, Daniel, but you
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also have a lot of remodeling restoration projects. Do you
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guys do she sheds and man caves? Because I imagine
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at your house, your lovely wife Carrie, who hates to
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be hot, she probably has her own separate chees shed
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that's nothing but just air conditioners blowing on her twenty
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four seven.
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That is so funny, Dan. Last week I told Carrie
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I was gonna build her a walk in cooler, so
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I could go put her in because it's like, no
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matter how cool, Like I get frostbite by sleeping in
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her bed. I mean, we go to sleep at night
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and I look over and she's like still, I look
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like she's hot. I'm buried under covers. I got a
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shirt on, I got my shorts on, I got socks on.
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I gotta get a toboggan and put it on. And
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she's still sitting there like, oh my god, it's so hot,
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and I'm like I don't.
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Know what else to do.
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So it brings back it's like trauma almost now it's
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like wow. But yes, so we can build anything. We
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actually had a client that waned a she said, in
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the backyard with a nice polycarbonate roof. She kind of
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made it like a little greenhouse and she had little
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chairs out there and she would go out there and relax. Well,
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we do a several patio covers, uh, several home extensions
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off the backyards.
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So yeah, we're able to do all those things. Very
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very cool. So if you have a dream, uh, Daniel
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Cook at COOKDFW Roofing and Restoration can help make it possible.
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Or if you're just trying to get you know, the
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frost shingles off the tip of your nose and make
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your wife a walk in cooler. You can do that.
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He'll be happy to do it because he already has
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the plans ready. Eight three three Cook DFW eight three
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three Cook dfw or that website cookdfw dot com.
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You're listening to the Treehouse, visit us online that Treehouse
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on air dot com.
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That first segment is brought to you by fair Lease.
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Save time and money on your next new vehicle when
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fairlease dot org. Save time, save money, and least a
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null hassleway from our friends at fairlease once again fairlease
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dot org. Yesterday we told you about the woman who
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eats ash and it was shocking and it was surprising,
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and turns out it was pretty pretty popular on our
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Instagram when I posted on it. But we told you
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about it yesterday Inside the Treehouse on the show, the
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woman who said, I thought my marriage was perfect, but
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after my husband died, I discovered his depraved secret life
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and felt so mad with rage that I ate his
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ashes in revenge. Her name is Jessica Wade and she
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is the author of The Widow's Guide to Dead Bastards.
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I did more research on this topic and it does,
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in fact ring true, not only the book real. She's
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not self published. This is from Simon and Schuster. Oh wow, yeah,
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and it's it actually came out in July. The book did,
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and we didn't cover all the details yesterday when we
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first discussed it. Okay, what I mean by that is
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we talked about how after her husband died, this woman
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goes through all his stuff, starts with the iPad and
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discovers all these terrible things, starting with his extremely organized
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porn collection, tabulated organized into specific folders based on location
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and type, and all these different ways in which you
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can organize anything. I guess she can also do it
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with porn. So she went through all that. Then she
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found that on his business trips he was inviting ladies
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of the night into his hotel room and ordering room
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service for two and mimosas porn and hookers. And that
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actually sounds like a new brunch spot in Dallas, now
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that I'm saying it out loud, probably see that on
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the love list or something, But there was a little
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bit more to the story. She Initially, after he was cremated,
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she was so mad at him. She mixed his ashes
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with dog feces and spread it around in the garden
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or something. And then that wasn't good enough because she
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was so mad because she felt that porn had cannibalized