Jan. 1, 2024
Episode 68 | 2023 Year In Review Part 2

Take a final look back at the stupidity of 2023!
Take a final look back at the stupidity of 2023!
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Welcome inside the treehouse on this first
day of twenty twenty four, And I
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hope everyone had a wonderful and safe
New Year's Eve. And it's interesting because
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we haven't really delved into, like, you know, the resolutions or goals
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or anything like that for this year. But I think at this point each
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year, I go into each year
wondering, is this the year where Tara's
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chicken math, you know, really
explodes and we go from whatever like six
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chickens that we currently have to many, many, many many more chicken math.
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Yeah. Yeah, it's chicken math. There's there's other types of math
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as well. There's horse math,
there's chicken math. It's basically, you
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say, I'm gonna get a couple
of chickens, and two turns into six
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and next thing you know, you've
got seventy five chickens on a fifty foot
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catamaran off of Water Island in the
US Virgin Islands. Yeah. I'm specifically
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talking about the lady that Terra buyas
her chickens from what. Okay, I've
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been meaning to ask this for years. Why why? What? Yes?
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Why why white chickens? What?
What? What happened? Well, for
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one, the eggs are amazing.
Eggs are amazing regardless of what chicken you
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get it from. Not true,
trust me. You can you get a
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good egg from a good like good
you know, farm free range chicken that
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eats well and is cared for as
opposed to being kept in a cage.
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You know all the time, you
can tell the difference in the quality of
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the egg, trust me. But
you can't. You can and look like
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like there's even so like the lady
that raises the chickens here on the islands
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on her boat boat. Yeah,
that she lives on a boat and the
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chickens live with her, so they
live on a boat. Chickens. She'll
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actually boat chickens. What they'll do
is what she does is she'll actually order
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the eggs of specific breeds of chickens
from the mainland, so from the states,
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like from Florida or wherever, and
they'll ship those eggs in and then
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she hatches them. So she orders
them from a hatchery and then she gets
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them on the boat. Then she
hatches them, she raises them and then
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sells them off to raise your chicken
people like like my wife, Yeah,
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okay, partly because the chickens on
like island chickens are very different than state
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side chickens because the chickens that are
here, they have an accent makes some
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eggs now to reggae. All right, look, I would love to dispel
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these horrific chicken stereotypes, but it
turns out everything you said is a hundred
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percent accurate. Okay, So this
is all white people stuff, right,
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Like the lady that has the boat
chickens, is she a white lady.
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Yeah? Yeah, and she sells
it to white people. Well, there
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are other people, I'm sure that
by her her state side chickens. So
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you're not buying local, no,
no, these this is definitely anti local
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because the local chickens, those aren't
owned by anybody. They are completely independent,
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free range, living in and around
dumpsters. Just mad max chickens everywhere
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with lit they're not. They are
different. Plus, like if you want
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meat from a chicken, it's also
very different tray. You grew up sometimes
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on a ranch. You know the
difference in chicken breeds. So like the
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chickens that we got from from the
chicken from the boat lady, the boat
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chicken lady, there are a few
different breeds and they're much larger than the
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island chickens. Island chickens tend to
be smaller and scrong here. But who
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would went in a cock fight,
the island chicken or the mainland. You
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know what, if you make the
wrong turn on one of these roads,
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you can probably find out and my
money is going to be on the island
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chickens, because those those chickens are
from the streets. You got a chickens,
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yea. These the chickens have come
in from you know, come in
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from the States. I mean those
are, like I said, those are
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States side chickens. They don't understand
the mean streets of the Yeah. It's
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it's just amazing, Like what what
what white people will buy? It's amazing
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to me. It's uh the pet
rock. Uh you guys killed it on
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that the mulahoop? Solid white people
move Uh now huh inside chickens. Hula
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hoops can be sexy, though,
can they in the right hips? Yes?
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They can. No. Like,
imagine imagine Shakira doing a five minute
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long hula hoop video. You'd watch
that? No, I would not.
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I'd be like, why is that
grown lady using a hula hoop? Because
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she doesn't need the hula hoop to
be sexy with the hips. That's is
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that a visual aid let's go No, it's it's just an accessory to it.
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I gotcha. Okay, yeah,
see this is how it sells.
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This is this is the board meeting, like, how do we sell this
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hula hoop? Put a chicken in
a bikini and they're like, oh,
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white dudes will buy it. And
then absolutely, I think that's part of
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the reason trampoline popularity surged at during
The Man Show's run. Yes, I
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mean that, but that was that
was very very targeted. This this is
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the crazy lady on a boat that
likes to raise chickens. And then she's
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like, white people will buy these, and you guys did m hm,
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how many do you have? Now? Six? You have six chickens.
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You didn't seem really sure with that
answer, Dan, I'm not sure day
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to day what the actual number is. Is this where is this where chicken
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math comes in? Yeah, because
I wake up. I don't know if
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they multiplied, because I understand horse
math, because like horse math is whatever
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number you throw out, multiply at
times one hundred. You know, it's
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like if they say, oh,
that's going to cost one hundred bucks.
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It's probably gonna cost more, you
know, like ten thousand. That's that's
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horse math. Horse math. You
guys are just taking like as a as
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a as an Indian person. You
guys have bastardized math. It's it's the
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one thing that we cherish outside of
the spell. Well a lot of it.
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I think it all falls under the
subset of girl math. Yeah,
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girl math. But what we as
men know better than to call it that.
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That's why we give it the subset
names. Yeah, horse math,
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chicken math. Boat math is also
a thing shoe math. What the fuck
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are you people talking about? When
you when your girl goes to you know,
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shopping, and you you ask her
what'd you buy it? She goes,
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Oh, I got a couple pairs
of shoes. That means she probably
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got five shoe math. Shoe math. I'm gonna have to I'm gonna take
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this back to India and just uh
blow people's minds. Uh with with with
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shoe math chicken because I mean,
we have it all. We have shoes,
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we have chicken, we have horses. Cow math. Can we do
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cow math? What is cow math? Isn't that you're that that's kind of
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your deal isn't it. Well,
I think I think Indian cow math is
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going to be very different than Texan
cow math because we see that cow right
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there, one hundred and twenty five
burners. That's that's very accurate because like
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in India, the cow math will
actually add up, whereas in Texas cow
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math hit subtracts. I'll about to
tech and twelve bets. You're in the
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treehouse, visit us online at treehouseonair
dot com. Let's get Daniel Cook from
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COOKDFW Roofing and Restoration into the treehouse. Now, give them a call for
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your free roof inspection and to repair
any damage that may have been done over
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the holidays. Maybe some of the
toys at Santa brought made their way up
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on the roof and did a little
damage to the shingles. Give them a
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call eight three to three Cook DFW. Now we know that Christmas is behind
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us, the New Year is upon
us. So I'm curious, Daniel,
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do what do you do any New
Year's resolutions? Well, I don't be
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honest. Now, we're not a
big resolution home. I think when the
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older you get, the more you
figure out that it's not about resolution,
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it's more about a lifestyle. So
I think when I was younger, you
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know, yeah, I always go
back to the gym more. You always
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say I'm gonna only drink two days
a week instead of four. I'm going
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to try to learn Spanish. So
I'm going to dictate, you know,
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four days a week to learning Spanish
or you know, all these things that
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people do. Right, it's popular. It is something that I think it
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gives you a I don't think it's
about the New Year revolution. I think
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it just gives people a solid start
to something new that they want to try.
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But it's hard. It's hard because
your real life gets in the way.
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And so usually that's what I'm saying
is the older you get, the
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more real life stuff you have.
You have, the kids, you have,
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the career, you have, the
travel that you're trying to do,
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you have the relatives, and so
all of that just compounds and so it's
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just really hard. It has to
become a habit. Let's just say that
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if it's not a habit and it's
not meanful, you're not going to follow
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them. So that I think that's
why we just stopped doing them. I
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think you're right. Also, I
mean, just between family and work.
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It's very difficult to cut drinking down
to just two days a week. Two
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days a week. Wow, I'm
talking to Okay, So what what's the
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worst days that are going to happen
this week? Because those are my two
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days, right and that's part of
the habit is scheduling those days in advance,
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which Daniel Cook is very responsible and
he's going to take care of you
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00:10:11.200 --> 00:10:15.840
and your house in case there is
some damage up there. So give them
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a call for that free roof inspection
eight three three cook DFW or that website
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cookdfw dot com. You're in the
treehouse, visit us online at Treehouseonair dot
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00:10:33.759 --> 00:10:41.360
com. This segment of the Treehouse
is brought to you by Cook DFW Roofing
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and Restoration. Give them a call
for your free roof inspection. Or if
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you need some remodeling done, or
if a friend does, your mom does,
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00:10:50.039 --> 00:10:52.360
some other family member wants, like
maybe you wrecked a room over the
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holidays and they need to redo it. Be nice. Give them a referral
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to our friends at COOKDFW Roofing and
Restoration, Cook DFW or the website cookdfw
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00:11:03.480 --> 00:11:07.799
dot com. So, RAJ,
you were mentioning how white people will buy
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pretty much anything. And it's true. Well, I mean it is,
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okay, like you're not going to
get people like myself or people of color
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to just randomly buy boat chickens,
like that's just not that's not a thing.
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So but I do believe that there
are areas where all of our cultures
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and races meet in the middle.
Okay, and that's porn because we all
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see, I don't care what country, I don't care what continent, I
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don't care what color you are,
even your your sexual orientation, whatever it
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is. Everybody has their own kink, right, Everyone has some porn that
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they will occasionally look at. And
one of the things I now look forward
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to every year at the end of
every year is the porn Hub Year in
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Review. That's where porn Hub comes
out and tells everyone what everyone has been
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searching for, so you can compare
what your taste and kink sar to everybody
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else, and that way you can
see, well, am I with the
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weirdo? Or am I actually more
normal than I think? And it's really
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really fascinating. So yeah, it's
one of the things I look forward to
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review. Okay, what are we? Uh? What? What is uh?
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What is the year in review?
Tell us? It tells us a
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number of things. Raguh. For
example, I want you both to think
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about your average uh when your average
session time. When you you know,
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it's like you need some special alone
time or you just need to, you
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know, just clear the pipes because
medically it's a good thing to clear the
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pipes. If because you don't want
to get backed up, that that's bad,
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that's that's very unhealthy. So think
about how long you normally take to
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do that. And I want you
to bid a number in your head.
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Please God, don't tell me.
I don't want to know it. Okay,
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but the over under here, according
to pornhub, is nine minutes and
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fifty one seconds. Okay, the
average self mutilation session. I probably shouldn't
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use that in this contest, so
we're going to think it's actual mutilation.
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The average time for an individual to
self love self love, thank you,
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Raj is nine minutes fifty one second, So just shy have ten minutes?
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Wow, So think about that again
to yourself. I don't want to know
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the answer. Are you above or
below? This is one of those over
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unders tray I don't want to send
to your bookie. Also, that's an
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average, So, I mean there
are some states that take longer, some
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that take less, Like Louisiana was
on the short end. They like to
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get in and out and under eight
and a half minutes, whereas Marilyn really
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likes to draw things out a little
bit and they go an average of eleven
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and a half minutes of Wow.
Yeah, okay, Now that's not all
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that porn Hub discovered in their year
in review for the year of twenty twenty
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three. They also found ninety one
percent of all porn was watched on phones
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this year, including ninety three percent
right here in the United States. Yep.
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And are you curious how many of
those viewers are women? Yes?
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Yeah, thirty six percent of those
viewers were female, which is up twelve
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percentage points from twenty fifteen. So
you know, ladies watching watching their stuff
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is on the rise, and I'm
actually kind of surprised that number thirty six
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percent isn't higher. Yeah. Also, he searches there's you know, there's
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a lot of housewives that aren't going
to fess up to their porn Hub usage.
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Yeah. You God blessed team jobs. He really made so many things
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possible for us. He put the
jobs. No, it's a right.
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The fact that you stopped halfway made
it funnier. U searches including the words
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and this may this may be where
the housewives come into play. Searches including
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the words big, bigger, and
biggest or up one hundred and seventy seven
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percent, and if you're looking for
a new a new person to follow when
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it comes to porn. The top
searched porn star this year was a Bella
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Danger, followed by Angela White and
Eva Elfie. All right, those are
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your top three searched porn stars on
the porn hub. Now, oh yeah,
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okay, well well that's good,
yeah, okay, big, big,
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big, bigger, biggest. Okay. It was one hundred and seventy
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seven percent from a year to year. One hundred and seventy seven percent.
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That's a big incris, that's a
bigger or the biggest. But we don't
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know if it's biggest until we see
a year in review for next year.
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But this year I have figured out
though, that really is one of the
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great generational gaps that we have,
is no one the younger generations. They
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don't know that there was a time
where porn was not just at your fingertips
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like you. Actually, we refer
to those as the dark ages. They
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can't even fathom having to make do
with a magazine. No, not just
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any magazine, but the Seers catalog
when you're looking forward to seriously, when
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you're looking forward to the to the
holiday catalogs from J. C. Penny
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and Dillard's and Sears and not just
for the craftsmen tools. That's how,
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you know, That is how.
And then if you occasionally get your hands
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on a Victoria's Secret cadillag, oh
my god. Back in the day,
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I just remember, like when I
was a kid, like you had to
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befriend somebody whose parents had a stash
and and and again they weren't good people.
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Uh like, you know, my
dad's got porn. Of course he
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does something. You're thirteen with a
neck tattoo. Yes, wild assumptions about
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people, RAJ. My dad had
a healthy stack of Playboy, and I
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turned out mostly I said, I
said, porn, not Playboy. Oh
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okay, man, Yeah that's true, that's not exactly. That was artistic.
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When you were like big, big, biggest, I'm like, why
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don't you say black duds? Yeah? Usually those searches get included on here,
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but for some reason it didn't.
I will say one of my favorite
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things about the porn hub Urine review
is the map that gets released, so
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you get to see what the most
popular searches were state by state in the
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United States. Gotcha, porn hub? All right? Mm hm in h
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and I'll give you a few examples. Oregon is into nudists, wyomings likes
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goth Don't know why, but it
is Utah, no surprise. Their top
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search term is Mormons Hawaii. Mormons
Hawaii, meanwhile, tends to take a
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more narcissistic approach, so the porn
searchers in Hawaii actually just search for Hawaiian
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porn or just the rock home videos. Oh, Kansas is a big search
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term is close up. Minnesota is
into tickling, Wisconsin wants to swing,
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Florida likes fantasy Indiana. Indiana wants
chubby porn. And I'm not sure why,
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but Mississippi is into furries. Okay, And I'm sure you're all wondering,
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well, what about us? What
about the great state of Texas?
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What is what is the great search
term in the state of Texas on porn
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Hub for twenty twenty three, creamy
Texas really creamy creamy. Okay, Like,
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don't get me wrong. In Texas, I know we like our gravy,
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but I don't want those two worlds. Like I'm never ordering it.
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Loubi's the same way again. How
fun the next time you drive by cracker
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barrel, that's gonna be a new
category at waffle hous some mother covered in
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creamy dan? Is that conflicting with
you? You know Texas is creamy,
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and then you know, I guess
in the Islands it's it's gonna be Island
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chicken. There are moments like this
tray where even though I've known you for
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many, many years, I don't
like you. At least you have content
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ideas for only Dance in twenty twenty
four. Yeah, big and creamy,
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that's those are the big takeaways you
can Big and creamy. That's gonna be
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the new country pop sensation, big
and rich. Here's big and cream opening
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up for jelly roll. You're in
the Treehouse. Visit us online at Treehouseonair
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00:20:41.640 --> 00:20:49.599
dot com. Let's talk to Jacqueline
from Brooks Plumbing two one, four thirty
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00:20:49.640 --> 00:20:53.640
six, eight thirty eight thirty eight
the website Brooks Plumbing Texas dot Com.
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00:20:53.680 --> 00:20:57.880
All the holiday stuff is mostly behind
us, and uh now we're looking into
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twenty twenty four. People are writing
down their goals. Do you do those,
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Jacqueline, do you do there?
The New Year's Eve resolutions? I
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would like to say than I do, but I don't. I know I
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need to lose some weight and I'd
love to save more money. So make
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money, lose weight, get money, be sexy. That's those are two
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good ones. And the good news
is that's that's true year round. I
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mean, that's that's as good in
January as it is in you know,
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July. Yeah, I mean,
no, I got nothing. All I
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got is wanted to go into the
new year, eat my twelve grapes for
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good luck, and just not get
hit by any falling anvils this year.
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You know, twelve grapes for good
luck. I've not heard of that.
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Have you ever heard of the like
New Year's Day you're supposed to eat?
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I don't know what the meal is. I just know it comes with sour
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kraut. Have you ever heard that? I have not. I'm very familiar
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with the black eyed peas and Tara
and I do that. But that's a
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thing, that's a thing. But
you're supposed to eat twelve grapes at midnight.
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I guess this is just like the
Italian version, because one grape for
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every month for like a fruitful year, keep away the bad spirits. Good
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luck, okay, sure, good
luck into the year. See. I'm
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one of those people that likes to
say I'm not superstitious, but then I
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hear something like that, like,
man, I'll give that a shot.
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It's worth it. Why not?
What twelve grapes? I can do that
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and see if it helps? Yeah, why not? So it's it won't
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urt you, and it's certainly not
going to clog my pipes. So called
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00:22:18.160 --> 00:22:19.839
Brooks Plumbing for any and all of
your plumbing once and needs two one four,
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00:22:19.920 --> 00:22:23.160
three six eight thirty eight thirty eight. And of course that website Brooks
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00:22:23.200 --> 00:22:33.599
Plumbing Texas dot com. You're listening
to the tree House. Visit us online
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00:22:33.680 --> 00:22:38.000
at Treehouse on air dot com.
This segment of the Treehouse is brought to
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00:22:38.039 --> 00:22:42.279
you by Brooks Plumbing for any and
all of your plumbing once in needs.
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00:22:42.480 --> 00:22:45.079
Uh, fun stuff, serious stuff, whatever it is. They'll take care
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00:22:45.079 --> 00:22:48.240
of your pipes. Give them a
call two one four, three six eight
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00:22:48.279 --> 00:22:52.000
thirty eight thirty eight. Jacqueline from
Brooks Plumbing loves those pipe puns, by
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00:22:52.039 --> 00:22:55.279
the way, they all do two
one, four, three, six,
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00:22:55.359 --> 00:23:00.960
eight thirty eight thirty eight or Brooks
Plumbing Texas dot Com. I wonder if
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they've ever gotten a call at Brooks
Plumbing about something big and creamy clogging up
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some pipes. I ask, bigger, biggest, creamy, creamy or creamiest.
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Yeah. See, that's that's good. That's gonna be on the waffle
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houseman. You know, I promise
you imagine that when when the waitress yells
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at you from you know, behind
the counter, like you want that creamy,
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creamier or creamiest. I ain't got
all that make the cream. I
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saw that scene in Van Wilder and
almost didn't grow up like this close to
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pukey that was that was that nasty
stuff? Oh all right, there was
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a there was a great story that
this I think was. It was a
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couple of months ago that we for
whatever reason, didn't get to and it
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hit the floor of the treehouse.
But we decided in our New Year's Eve,
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drunken stupid to pick it up and
say, hey, you here in
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the treehouse, you need to hear
about this story. It's important okay,
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because there are people in this world
that have a tendency to not just fantasize
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about the things they want to do
or the people they want to be,
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they actually go out and achieve it. And that's what this particular gentleman did.
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He is a true trendsetter. He
is possibly an overachiever, but he's
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very obviously goal oriented. So you
know, like when people will say if
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you have a goal in mind,
whether it's a resolution or just whatever it
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00:24:48.079 --> 00:24:52.680
is, you could write it on
like a vision board or something, or
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00:24:52.720 --> 00:24:55.400
they just say to write it down
and put it on a fridge and that
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helps you as a daily reminder for
that, you know, to do things
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every day to achieve that goal.
Right. Yeah, this guy took it
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a step further and he put his
goal in tattoo form on his body.
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Yeah. So here we have a
car burglary suspect with all gas, no
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breaks, tattoo crashed during a police
chase. Please tell me this is in
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Florida. It is. I'd love
to share the wealth of stupid with another
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state in these great United States,
because not all the stupid happens in Florida,
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but this is one of those where
it really seems like the cream really
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does rise to the top in Florida. So this guy has the tattoo all
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Gas No Breaks rajs. I'm gonna
let you guess where on his body you
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think this all gas no Breaks tattoo
is. I will take forehead for two
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hundred Ooh, that's actually incorrect.
Oh no, that is incorrect, tray.
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00:26:04.759 --> 00:26:08.839
I will now shift it over to
you. Where on this gentleman,
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and I use that term loosely body, does he have his all gas No
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Breaks tattoo displayed neck? We have
a winner. Oh, all gas no
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breaks in It's not really a gothic
font. It's actually an interesting font.
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I'm not even sure what font that
is, and I like comic font?
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Is it a comic sond it is? Not? That would have made it
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awesome because the comic sans font is
the one that the Internet loves to make
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fun of, and had it been
that one, that would have been superb.
327
00:26:47.160 --> 00:26:49.359
I think it had been winging it
would have been even better. Oh
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00:26:49.400 --> 00:26:55.079
you mean like the uh you mean
like the new Twitter logo that Elon Musk
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has bestowed upon everyone. I can't
unsee that. I saw it was.
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I think it's Adam Ruins Everything,
actor writer comedian Adam Connover. I saw
331
00:27:03.319 --> 00:27:04.960
a post that he did a couple
of weeks ago saying that, you know,
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00:27:06.039 --> 00:27:10.759
Elon Musk has been obsessed with X
four years and that's it's well documented.
333
00:27:10.799 --> 00:27:15.480
It's what got him fired from what
eventually became PayPal, because Elon Musk
334
00:27:15.519 --> 00:27:18.160
wanted to call it X, and
they're like, get the f out,
335
00:27:18.400 --> 00:27:22.240
and and they changed him to PayPal
and it became crazy successful, and now
336
00:27:22.240 --> 00:27:26.440
he want, you know, he
buys Twitter for forty four billion dollars and
337
00:27:26.680 --> 00:27:30.079
he changes the name to X because
he's obsessed with it. And the logo
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00:27:30.920 --> 00:27:36.759
is the actual wing ding font from
like our nineties computers letter yes yes,
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00:27:37.319 --> 00:27:41.799
And once I saw that. And
just because two million, two million Teslas
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00:27:41.799 --> 00:27:47.279
were recalled two days ago for the
uh or the malfunctioning of the autopilot,
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00:27:47.559 --> 00:27:52.200
So be careful on those roads this
year, says the man who just got
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00:27:52.240 --> 00:27:57.640
into a car wreck. He's speaking
from experience. Mine was a good old
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fashioned gmc van so yes in Polk
County, Florida, A thirty seven year
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00:28:06.359 --> 00:28:10.440
old man with an all gas no
brakes tattoo into a series of car burglaries
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00:28:10.480 --> 00:28:17.079
with a crash during a police chase. Timothy Hoague was speeding in a two
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00:28:17.160 --> 00:28:23.039
thousand and six Cadillac CTS when he
crashed. There was a passenger in the
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vehicle with him. Her name is
Rebecca Kozb She was in that Cadillac with
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00:28:27.200 --> 00:28:30.079
him. She's also a suspect in
the car burglary. She was injured.
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00:28:30.799 --> 00:28:36.519
Timothy is now facing charges of burglary
of an unoccupied conveyance with an enhancement of
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crossing county lines, felony, petite
theft, fleeing to elude, conspiracy to
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00:28:42.880 --> 00:28:48.920
commit burglary, possession of methemphetamine no
surprise thereession of marijuana because you got to
352
00:28:48.960 --> 00:28:52.839
come back down from the meth,
possession of drug paraphernalia because you don't just
353
00:28:52.920 --> 00:28:56.119
do that, you know, freehand, and resisting arrest, although without violence.
354
00:28:56.880 --> 00:29:02.319
Oh, good old Timothy, he
knows better than to be violent.
355
00:29:02.920 --> 00:29:07.599
Uh. Yeah, it really does
seem to me that this is an individual
356
00:29:07.240 --> 00:29:15.400
who has idolized Vin Diesel in the
Fast and Furious movies so much. Yeah,
357
00:29:15.440 --> 00:29:19.720
he shaved his head, shaved his
head and got the all Gas No
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00:29:19.839 --> 00:29:25.559
Breaks tattoo across the front of his
neck. Wow, on his that's a.
359
00:29:26.240 --> 00:29:30.000
I always wonder this, like when
you walk into a tatt like I
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00:29:30.039 --> 00:29:33.000
have tattoos, but I the guy
who does mine designs them for me.
361
00:29:33.160 --> 00:29:37.759
I see them, he colors them
in, we change it up. Who
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00:29:37.799 --> 00:29:40.400
walks in and goes, let me
get this, and then the guy goes,
363
00:29:40.519 --> 00:29:44.359
yeah, that'll be three hundred bucks, Like who does that? Like
364
00:29:44.400 --> 00:29:48.000
if you walk and go and if
I went to my guy, my buddy
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00:29:48.079 --> 00:29:51.960
Jake, and I went I want
all gas, no breaks, he'd be
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00:29:51.960 --> 00:29:56.720
like, hey, man, go
sober up. Uh and then and then
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00:29:56.839 --> 00:30:00.920
come back when you're not on some
sort of painkiller. Well we're not doing
368
00:30:00.960 --> 00:30:04.440
that. Isn't that how most of
the tattoo parlors in Deep Lum survives.
369
00:30:06.039 --> 00:30:10.519
The drunk person goes in there,
he goes, you know, give me,
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00:30:10.559 --> 00:30:17.359
I love chickens on my neck?
Hold on going on your neck?
371
00:30:17.559 --> 00:30:19.559
Hold on, I love chickens.
Now I have a question. Is it
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00:30:21.160 --> 00:30:26.839
island chicken or State side chicken or
a boat chicken? What are you getting?
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00:30:26.839 --> 00:30:34.039
It's very different. They do have
at Lamar Street Tattoo, which is
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00:30:34.200 --> 00:30:41.319
deep all of adjacent Lamar Street Tattoo
has a gumball machine that has like you
375
00:30:41.359 --> 00:30:42.720
know, like when you go to
the grocery store, like they have the
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00:30:42.759 --> 00:30:48.240
little things with the plastic you put
fifty bucks in and what no tattoo it
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00:30:48.319 --> 00:30:52.599
whatever comes out is what you get. You can't change it. And I've
378
00:30:52.640 --> 00:30:56.799
watched people while I was getting mine
done, watch people come in and just
379
00:30:56.000 --> 00:31:00.920
giggling, like, here's the fifty
bucks and put it in and whatever it
380
00:31:00.960 --> 00:31:07.240
is, that's what they get permanently
on their body. It's actually pretty brilliant
381
00:31:07.240 --> 00:31:11.400
on their part because then that means
they're going to get the return business when
382
00:31:11.599 --> 00:31:14.799
they decide that, oh I don't
want that, and they spend four hundred
383
00:31:14.799 --> 00:31:18.319
and fifty dollars to cover up the
gumball tat. No, the guy,
384
00:31:18.640 --> 00:31:22.519
the guy who is cubicle is not
cubicle, but his chair is next to
385
00:31:22.559 --> 00:31:29.839
the kumball machine. Is the tattoo
removal Guys, it's the best fuck that's
386
00:31:29.880 --> 00:31:34.279
the best business model. You get
him comedy and it's one hundred and fifty
387
00:31:34.279 --> 00:31:38.279
dollars to have it removed. So
it's it's two hundred bucks. Everybody wins.
388
00:31:41.480 --> 00:31:44.920
This is just uh, this is
just the best, like you got
389
00:31:44.920 --> 00:31:48.680
to see it. It's it's fantastic. Uh but yeah, well uh what
390
00:31:48.839 --> 00:31:52.480
is I wanted to ask before we
get that, what is petit felony?
391
00:31:52.559 --> 00:31:56.079
What does that mean? Do we
know what that is? Uh? It's
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00:31:56.160 --> 00:32:01.359
Florida, so it's difficult to uh
completely understand because even their laws that get
393
00:32:01.400 --> 00:32:07.119
broken are weirdly worded. I've never
heard of felony petit theft. Oh,
394
00:32:07.160 --> 00:32:10.279
felony petit theft? Yeah, okay, so I guess it just means a
395
00:32:10.359 --> 00:32:15.240
small felony as opposed to like a
big one. It's like in Texas,
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00:32:15.279 --> 00:32:19.119
you know, it's you know,
like state felonies are what AB and C
397
00:32:19.440 --> 00:32:23.319
or something like that. Right Florida, though, I guess it goes You
398
00:32:23.359 --> 00:32:30.960
would assume their felonies would go big, bigger, biggest. That's a creamy
399
00:32:30.960 --> 00:32:40.519
felony. But I guess they start
with the tee and work out it's also
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00:32:40.559 --> 00:32:51.000
barely legal. Thank you, Florida
for another content rich year inside the tree.
401
00:32:52.039 --> 00:32:53.799
Happy new year everyone. I hope
it's a great year for you.
402
00:32:53.880 --> 00:32:58.839
We hope it's a great year for
us. Many big things planned inside this
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00:32:58.920 --> 00:33:01.720
treehouse for twenty twenty for and we
want you to be a part of it,
404
00:33:02.160 --> 00:33:06.279
and so we invite you to do
so. So stay with us and
405
00:33:06.440 --> 00:33:09.880
be sure and bring a friend inside
the treehouse with you next time. M
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00:00:24.559 --> 00:00:31.839
Welcome inside the treehouse on this first
day of twenty twenty four, And I
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hope everyone had a wonderful and safe
New Year's Eve. And it's interesting because
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we haven't really delved into, like, you know, the resolutions or goals
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or anything like that for this year. But I think at this point each
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year, I go into each year
wondering, is this the year where Tara's
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chicken math, you know, really
explodes and we go from whatever like six
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chickens that we currently have to many, many, many many more chicken math.
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Yeah. Yeah, it's chicken math. There's there's other types of math
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as well. There's horse math,
there's chicken math. It's basically, you
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say, I'm gonna get a couple
of chickens, and two turns into six
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and next thing you know, you've
got seventy five chickens on a fifty foot
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catamaran off of Water Island in the
US Virgin Islands. Yeah. I'm specifically
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talking about the lady that Terra buyas
her chickens from what. Okay, I've
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been meaning to ask this for years. Why why? What? Yes?
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Why why white chickens? What?
What? What happened? Well, for
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one, the eggs are amazing.
Eggs are amazing regardless of what chicken you
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get it from. Not true,
trust me. You can you get a
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good egg from a good like good
you know, farm free range chicken that
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eats well and is cared for as
opposed to being kept in a cage.
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You know all the time, you
can tell the difference in the quality of
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the egg, trust me. But
you can't. You can and look like
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like there's even so like the lady
that raises the chickens here on the islands
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on her boat boat. Yeah,
that she lives on a boat and the
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chickens live with her, so they
live on a boat. Chickens. She'll
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actually boat chickens. What they'll do
is what she does is she'll actually order
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the eggs of specific breeds of chickens
from the mainland, so from the states,
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like from Florida or wherever, and
they'll ship those eggs in and then
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she hatches them. So she orders
them from a hatchery and then she gets
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them on the boat. Then she
hatches them, she raises them and then
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sells them off to raise your chicken
people like like my wife, Yeah,
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okay, partly because the chickens on
like island chickens are very different than state
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side chickens because the chickens that are
here, they have an accent makes some
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eggs now to reggae. All right, look, I would love to dispel
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these horrific chicken stereotypes, but it
turns out everything you said is a hundred
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percent accurate. Okay, So this
is all white people stuff, right,
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Like the lady that has the boat
chickens, is she a white lady.
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Yeah? Yeah, and she sells
it to white people. Well, there
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are other people, I'm sure that
by her her state side chickens. So
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you're not buying local, no,
no, these this is definitely anti local
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because the local chickens, those aren't
owned by anybody. They are completely independent,
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free range, living in and around
dumpsters. Just mad max chickens everywhere
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with lit they're not. They are
different. Plus, like if you want
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meat from a chicken, it's also
very different tray. You grew up sometimes
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on a ranch. You know the
difference in chicken breeds. So like the
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chickens that we got from from the
chicken from the boat lady, the boat
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chicken lady, there are a few
different breeds and they're much larger than the
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island chickens. Island chickens tend to
be smaller and scrong here. But who
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would went in a cock fight,
the island chicken or the mainland. You
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know what, if you make the
wrong turn on one of these roads,
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you can probably find out and my
money is going to be on the island
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chickens, because those those chickens are
from the streets. You got a chickens,
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yea. These the chickens have come
in from you know, come in
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from the States. I mean those
are, like I said, those are
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States side chickens. They don't understand
the mean streets of the Yeah. It's
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it's just amazing, Like what what
what white people will buy? It's amazing
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to me. It's uh the pet
rock. Uh you guys killed it on
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that the mulahoop? Solid white people
move Uh now huh inside chickens. Hula
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hoops can be sexy, though,
can they in the right hips? Yes?
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They can. No. Like,
imagine imagine Shakira doing a five minute
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long hula hoop video. You'd watch
that? No, I would not.
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I'd be like, why is that
grown lady using a hula hoop? Because
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she doesn't need the hula hoop to
be sexy with the hips. That's is
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that a visual aid let's go No, it's it's just an accessory to it.
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I gotcha. Okay, yeah,
see this is how it sells.
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This is this is the board meeting, like, how do we sell this
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hula hoop? Put a chicken in
a bikini and they're like, oh,
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white dudes will buy it. And
then absolutely, I think that's part of
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the reason trampoline popularity surged at during
The Man Show's run. Yes, I
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mean that, but that was that
was very very targeted. This this is
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the crazy lady on a boat that
likes to raise chickens. And then she's
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like, white people will buy these, and you guys did m hm,
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how many do you have? Now? Six? You have six chickens.
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You didn't seem really sure with that
answer, Dan, I'm not sure day
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00:06:05.920 --> 00:06:10.399
to day what the actual number is. Is this where is this where chicken
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math comes in? Yeah, because
I wake up. I don't know if
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they multiplied, because I understand horse
math, because like horse math is whatever
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number you throw out, multiply at
times one hundred. You know, it's
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like if they say, oh,
that's going to cost one hundred bucks.
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It's probably gonna cost more, you
know, like ten thousand. That's that's
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horse math. Horse math. You
guys are just taking like as a as
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a as an Indian person. You
guys have bastardized math. It's it's the
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one thing that we cherish outside of
the spell. Well a lot of it.
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I think it all falls under the
subset of girl math. Yeah,
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girl math. But what we as
men know better than to call it that.
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That's why we give it the subset
names. Yeah, horse math,
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chicken math. Boat math is also
a thing shoe math. What the fuck
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are you people talking about? When
you when your girl goes to you know,
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shopping, and you you ask her
what'd you buy it? She goes,
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00:07:04.000 --> 00:07:06.319
Oh, I got a couple pairs
of shoes. That means she probably
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00:07:06.319 --> 00:07:14.040
got five shoe math. Shoe math. I'm gonna have to I'm gonna take
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this back to India and just uh
blow people's minds. Uh with with with
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shoe math chicken because I mean,
we have it all. We have shoes,
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we have chicken, we have horses. Cow math. Can we do
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cow math? What is cow math? Isn't that you're that that's kind of
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your deal isn't it. Well,
I think I think Indian cow math is
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going to be very different than Texan
cow math because we see that cow right
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there, one hundred and twenty five
burners. That's that's very accurate because like
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in India, the cow math will
actually add up, whereas in Texas cow
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math hit subtracts. I'll about to
tech and twelve bets. You're in the
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treehouse, visit us online at treehouseonair
dot com. Let's get Daniel Cook from
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COOKDFW Roofing and Restoration into the treehouse. Now, give them a call for
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00:08:22.000 --> 00:08:24.600
your free roof inspection and to repair
any damage that may have been done over
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00:08:24.639 --> 00:08:28.959
the holidays. Maybe some of the
toys at Santa brought made their way up
104
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on the roof and did a little
damage to the shingles. Give them a
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call eight three to three Cook DFW. Now we know that Christmas is behind
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us, the New Year is upon
us. So I'm curious, Daniel,
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do what do you do any New
Year's resolutions? Well, I don't be
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honest. Now, we're not a
big resolution home. I think when the
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older you get, the more you
figure out that it's not about resolution,
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it's more about a lifestyle. So
I think when I was younger, you
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know, yeah, I always go
back to the gym more. You always
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say I'm gonna only drink two days
a week instead of four. I'm going
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to try to learn Spanish. So
I'm going to dictate, you know,
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four days a week to learning Spanish
or you know, all these things that
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people do. Right, it's popular. It is something that I think it
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gives you a I don't think it's
about the New Year revolution. I think
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it just gives people a solid start
to something new that they want to try.
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But it's hard. It's hard because
your real life gets in the way.
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And so usually that's what I'm saying
is the older you get, the
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more real life stuff you have.
You have, the kids, you have,
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the career, you have, the
travel that you're trying to do,
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you have the relatives, and so
all of that just compounds and so it's
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just really hard. It has to
become a habit. Let's just say that
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if it's not a habit and it's
not meanful, you're not going to follow
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them. So that I think that's
why we just stopped doing them. I
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think you're right. Also, I
mean, just between family and work.
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It's very difficult to cut drinking down
to just two days a week. Two
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days a week. Wow, I'm
talking to Okay, So what what's the
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worst days that are going to happen
this week? Because those are my two
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days, right and that's part of
the habit is scheduling those days in advance,
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which Daniel Cook is very responsible and
he's going to take care of you
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00:10:11.200 --> 00:10:15.840
and your house in case there is
some damage up there. So give them
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00:10:15.840 --> 00:10:20.240
a call for that free roof inspection
eight three three cook DFW or that website
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00:10:20.240 --> 00:10:33.720
cookdfw dot com. You're in the
treehouse, visit us online at Treehouseonair dot
135
00:10:33.759 --> 00:10:41.360
com. This segment of the Treehouse
is brought to you by Cook DFW Roofing
136
00:10:41.399 --> 00:10:45.559
and Restoration. Give them a call
for your free roof inspection. Or if
137
00:10:45.600 --> 00:10:48.759
you need some remodeling done, or
if a friend does, your mom does,
138
00:10:50.039 --> 00:10:52.360
some other family member wants, like
maybe you wrecked a room over the
139
00:10:52.360 --> 00:10:56.919
holidays and they need to redo it. Be nice. Give them a referral
140
00:10:56.200 --> 00:11:01.679
to our friends at COOKDFW Roofing and
Restoration, Cook DFW or the website cookdfw
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00:11:03.480 --> 00:11:07.799
dot com. So, RAJ,
you were mentioning how white people will buy
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pretty much anything. And it's true. Well, I mean it is,
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okay, like you're not going to
get people like myself or people of color
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to just randomly buy boat chickens,
like that's just not that's not a thing.
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So but I do believe that there
are areas where all of our cultures
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and races meet in the middle.
Okay, and that's porn because we all
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see, I don't care what country, I don't care what continent, I
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don't care what color you are,
even your your sexual orientation, whatever it
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00:11:45.240 --> 00:11:50.159
is. Everybody has their own kink, right, Everyone has some porn that
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they will occasionally look at. And
one of the things I now look forward
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to every year at the end of
every year is the porn Hub Year in
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Review. That's where porn Hub comes
out and tells everyone what everyone has been
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00:12:03.840 --> 00:12:09.679
searching for, so you can compare
what your taste and kink sar to everybody
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00:12:09.679 --> 00:12:11.440
else, and that way you can
see, well, am I with the
155
00:12:11.440 --> 00:12:15.200
weirdo? Or am I actually more
normal than I think? And it's really
156
00:12:15.240 --> 00:12:18.320
really fascinating. So yeah, it's
one of the things I look forward to
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00:12:18.879 --> 00:12:24.600
review. Okay, what are we? Uh? What? What is uh?
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00:12:24.919 --> 00:12:28.360
What is the year in review?
Tell us? It tells us a
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00:12:28.440 --> 00:12:31.600
number of things. Raguh. For
example, I want you both to think
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00:12:31.639 --> 00:12:37.919
about your average uh when your average
session time. When you you know,
161
00:12:37.000 --> 00:12:41.919
it's like you need some special alone
time or you just need to, you
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00:12:41.919 --> 00:12:45.960
know, just clear the pipes because
medically it's a good thing to clear the
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00:12:45.960 --> 00:12:48.279
pipes. If because you don't want
to get backed up, that that's bad,
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00:12:48.320 --> 00:12:54.639
that's that's very unhealthy. So think
about how long you normally take to
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do that. And I want you
to bid a number in your head.
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Please God, don't tell me.
I don't want to know it. Okay,
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00:13:03.360 --> 00:13:07.159
but the over under here, according
to pornhub, is nine minutes and
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00:13:07.240 --> 00:13:15.840
fifty one seconds. Okay, the
average self mutilation session. I probably shouldn't
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00:13:15.919 --> 00:13:18.600
use that in this contest, so
we're going to think it's actual mutilation.
170
00:13:20.919 --> 00:13:24.720
The average time for an individual to
self love self love, thank you,
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00:13:24.799 --> 00:13:31.279
Raj is nine minutes fifty one second, So just shy have ten minutes?
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Wow, So think about that again
to yourself. I don't want to know
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00:13:33.440 --> 00:13:37.080
the answer. Are you above or
below? This is one of those over
174
00:13:37.159 --> 00:13:45.120
unders tray I don't want to send
to your bookie. Also, that's an
175
00:13:45.159 --> 00:13:48.200
average, So, I mean there
are some states that take longer, some
176
00:13:48.279 --> 00:13:52.639
that take less, Like Louisiana was
on the short end. They like to
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get in and out and under eight
and a half minutes, whereas Marilyn really
178
00:13:56.960 --> 00:14:00.919
likes to draw things out a little
bit and they go an average of eleven
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00:14:00.919 --> 00:14:05.559
and a half minutes of Wow.
Yeah, okay, Now that's not all
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00:14:05.600 --> 00:14:11.000
that porn Hub discovered in their year
in review for the year of twenty twenty
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00:14:11.000 --> 00:14:16.159
three. They also found ninety one
percent of all porn was watched on phones
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00:14:16.320 --> 00:14:20.440
this year, including ninety three percent
right here in the United States. Yep.
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And are you curious how many of
those viewers are women? Yes?
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Yeah, thirty six percent of those
viewers were female, which is up twelve
185
00:14:31.720 --> 00:14:37.600
percentage points from twenty fifteen. So
you know, ladies watching watching their stuff
186
00:14:37.639 --> 00:14:39.519
is on the rise, and I'm
actually kind of surprised that number thirty six
187
00:14:39.559 --> 00:14:45.840
percent isn't higher. Yeah. Also, he searches there's you know, there's
188
00:14:45.840 --> 00:14:48.919
a lot of housewives that aren't going
to fess up to their porn Hub usage.
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00:14:50.159 --> 00:14:56.279
Yeah. You God blessed team jobs. He really made so many things
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00:14:56.360 --> 00:15:00.320
possible for us. He put the
jobs. No, it's a right.
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00:15:03.159 --> 00:15:07.759
The fact that you stopped halfway made
it funnier. U searches including the words
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00:15:07.840 --> 00:15:11.879
and this may this may be where
the housewives come into play. Searches including
193
00:15:11.919 --> 00:15:15.600
the words big, bigger, and
biggest or up one hundred and seventy seven
194
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percent, and if you're looking for
a new a new person to follow when
195
00:15:24.960 --> 00:15:28.879
it comes to porn. The top
searched porn star this year was a Bella
196
00:15:28.080 --> 00:15:35.639
Danger, followed by Angela White and
Eva Elfie. All right, those are
197
00:15:35.679 --> 00:15:41.399
your top three searched porn stars on
the porn hub. Now, oh yeah,
198
00:15:41.639 --> 00:15:46.639
okay, well well that's good,
yeah, okay, big, big,
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big, bigger, biggest. Okay. It was one hundred and seventy
200
00:15:50.519 --> 00:15:56.279
seven percent from a year to year. One hundred and seventy seven percent.
201
00:15:56.720 --> 00:16:02.639
That's a big incris, that's a
bigger or the biggest. But we don't
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know if it's biggest until we see
a year in review for next year.
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But this year I have figured out
though, that really is one of the
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great generational gaps that we have,
is no one the younger generations. They
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don't know that there was a time
where porn was not just at your fingertips
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like you. Actually, we refer
to those as the dark ages. They
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can't even fathom having to make do
with a magazine. No, not just
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any magazine, but the Seers catalog
when you're looking forward to seriously, when
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you're looking forward to the to the
holiday catalogs from J. C. Penny
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and Dillard's and Sears and not just
for the craftsmen tools. That's how,
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you know, That is how.
And then if you occasionally get your hands
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on a Victoria's Secret cadillag, oh
my god. Back in the day,
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I just remember, like when I
was a kid, like you had to
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befriend somebody whose parents had a stash
and and and again they weren't good people.
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Uh like, you know, my
dad's got porn. Of course he
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does something. You're thirteen with a
neck tattoo. Yes, wild assumptions about
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people, RAJ. My dad had
a healthy stack of Playboy, and I
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turned out mostly I said, I
said, porn, not Playboy. Oh
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okay, man, Yeah that's true, that's not exactly. That was artistic.
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When you were like big, big, biggest, I'm like, why
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don't you say black duds? Yeah? Usually those searches get included on here,
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but for some reason it didn't.
I will say one of my favorite
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things about the porn hub Urine review
is the map that gets released, so
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you get to see what the most
popular searches were state by state in the
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United States. Gotcha, porn hub? All right? Mm hm in h
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and I'll give you a few examples. Oregon is into nudists, wyomings likes
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goth Don't know why, but it
is Utah, no surprise. Their top
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search term is Mormons Hawaii. Mormons
Hawaii, meanwhile, tends to take a
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more narcissistic approach, so the porn
searchers in Hawaii actually just search for Hawaiian
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porn or just the rock home videos. Oh, Kansas is a big search
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term is close up. Minnesota is
into tickling, Wisconsin wants to swing,
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Florida likes fantasy Indiana. Indiana wants
chubby porn. And I'm not sure why,
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but Mississippi is into furries. Okay, And I'm sure you're all wondering,
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well, what about us? What
about the great state of Texas?
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What is what is the great search
term in the state of Texas on porn
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Hub for twenty twenty three, creamy
Texas really creamy creamy. Okay, Like,
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don't get me wrong. In Texas, I know we like our gravy,
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but I don't want those two worlds. Like I'm never ordering it.
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Loubi's the same way again. How
fun the next time you drive by cracker
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barrel, that's gonna be a new
category at waffle hous some mother covered in
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creamy dan? Is that conflicting with
you? You know Texas is creamy,
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and then you know, I guess
in the Islands it's it's gonna be Island
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chicken. There are moments like this
tray where even though I've known you for
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many, many years, I don't
like you. At least you have content
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ideas for only Dance in twenty twenty
four. Yeah, big and creamy,
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that's those are the big takeaways you
can Big and creamy. That's gonna be
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the new country pop sensation, big
and rich. Here's big and cream opening
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up for jelly roll. You're in
the Treehouse. Visit us online at Treehouseonair
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00:20:41.640 --> 00:20:49.599
dot com. Let's talk to Jacqueline
from Brooks Plumbing two one, four thirty
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00:20:49.640 --> 00:20:53.640
six, eight thirty eight thirty eight
the website Brooks Plumbing Texas dot Com.
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00:20:53.680 --> 00:20:57.880
All the holiday stuff is mostly behind
us, and uh now we're looking into
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twenty twenty four. People are writing
down their goals. Do you do those,
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Jacqueline, do you do there?
The New Year's Eve resolutions? I
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would like to say than I do, but I don't. I know I
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need to lose some weight and I'd
love to save more money. So make
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money, lose weight, get money, be sexy. That's those are two
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good ones. And the good news
is that's that's true year round. I
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mean, that's that's as good in
January as it is in you know,
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July. Yeah, I mean,
no, I got nothing. All I
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got is wanted to go into the
new year, eat my twelve grapes for
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good luck, and just not get
hit by any falling anvils this year.
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You know, twelve grapes for good
luck. I've not heard of that.
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Have you ever heard of the like
New Year's Day you're supposed to eat?
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I don't know what the meal is. I just know it comes with sour
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kraut. Have you ever heard that? I have not. I'm very familiar
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with the black eyed peas and Tara
and I do that. But that's a
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thing, that's a thing. But
you're supposed to eat twelve grapes at midnight.
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I guess this is just like the
Italian version, because one grape for
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every month for like a fruitful year, keep away the bad spirits. Good
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luck, okay, sure, good
luck into the year. See. I'm
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one of those people that likes to
say I'm not superstitious, but then I
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hear something like that, like,
man, I'll give that a shot.
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It's worth it. Why not?
What twelve grapes? I can do that
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and see if it helps? Yeah, why not? So it's it won't
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urt you, and it's certainly not
going to clog my pipes. So called
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00:22:18.160 --> 00:22:19.839
Brooks Plumbing for any and all of
your plumbing once and needs two one four,
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00:22:19.920 --> 00:22:23.160
three six eight thirty eight thirty eight. And of course that website Brooks
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00:22:23.200 --> 00:22:33.599
Plumbing Texas dot com. You're listening
to the tree House. Visit us online
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00:22:33.680 --> 00:22:38.000
at Treehouse on air dot com.
This segment of the Treehouse is brought to
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00:22:38.039 --> 00:22:42.279
you by Brooks Plumbing for any and
all of your plumbing once in needs.
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00:22:42.480 --> 00:22:45.079
Uh, fun stuff, serious stuff, whatever it is. They'll take care
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00:22:45.079 --> 00:22:48.240
of your pipes. Give them a
call two one four, three six eight
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00:22:48.279 --> 00:22:52.000
thirty eight thirty eight. Jacqueline from
Brooks Plumbing loves those pipe puns, by
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00:22:52.039 --> 00:22:55.279
the way, they all do two
one, four, three, six,
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00:22:55.359 --> 00:23:00.960
eight thirty eight thirty eight or Brooks
Plumbing Texas dot Com. I wonder if
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they've ever gotten a call at Brooks
Plumbing about something big and creamy clogging up
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some pipes. I ask, bigger, biggest, creamy, creamy or creamiest.
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Yeah. See, that's that's good. That's gonna be on the waffle
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houseman. You know, I promise
you imagine that when when the waitress yells
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at you from you know, behind
the counter, like you want that creamy,
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creamier or creamiest. I ain't got
all that make the cream. I
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saw that scene in Van Wilder and
almost didn't grow up like this close to
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pukey that was that was that nasty
stuff? Oh all right, there was
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a there was a great story that
this I think was. It was a
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couple of months ago that we for
whatever reason, didn't get to and it
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hit the floor of the treehouse.
But we decided in our New Year's Eve,
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drunken stupid to pick it up and
say, hey, you here in
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the treehouse, you need to hear
about this story. It's important okay,
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because there are people in this world
that have a tendency to not just fantasize
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about the things they want to do
or the people they want to be,
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they actually go out and achieve it. And that's what this particular gentleman did.
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He is a true trendsetter. He
is possibly an overachiever, but he's
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very obviously goal oriented. So you
know, like when people will say if
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you have a goal in mind,
whether it's a resolution or just whatever it
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00:24:48.079 --> 00:24:52.680
is, you could write it on
like a vision board or something, or
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00:24:52.720 --> 00:24:55.400
they just say to write it down
and put it on a fridge and that
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helps you as a daily reminder for
that, you know, to do things
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every day to achieve that goal.
Right. Yeah, this guy took it
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a step further and he put his
goal in tattoo form on his body.
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Yeah. So here we have a
car burglary suspect with all gas, no
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breaks, tattoo crashed during a police
chase. Please tell me this is in
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Florida. It is. I'd love
to share the wealth of stupid with another
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state in these great United States,
because not all the stupid happens in Florida,
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but this is one of those where
it really seems like the cream really
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does rise to the top in Florida. So this guy has the tattoo all
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Gas No Breaks rajs. I'm gonna
let you guess where on his body you
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think this all gas no Breaks tattoo
is. I will take forehead for two
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hundred Ooh, that's actually incorrect.
Oh no, that is incorrect, tray.
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I will now shift it over to
you. Where on this gentleman,
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and I use that term loosely body, does he have his all gas No
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Breaks tattoo displayed neck? We have
a winner. Oh, all gas no
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breaks in It's not really a gothic
font. It's actually an interesting font.
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I'm not even sure what font that
is, and I like comic font?
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Is it a comic sond it is? Not? That would have made it
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awesome because the comic sans font is
the one that the Internet loves to make
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fun of, and had it been
that one, that would have been superb.
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00:26:47.160 --> 00:26:49.359
I think it had been winging it
would have been even better. Oh
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00:26:49.400 --> 00:26:55.079
you mean like the uh you mean
like the new Twitter logo that Elon Musk
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has bestowed upon everyone. I can't
unsee that. I saw it was.
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I think it's Adam Ruins Everything,
actor writer comedian Adam Connover. I saw
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00:27:03.319 --> 00:27:04.960
a post that he did a couple
of weeks ago saying that, you know,
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00:27:06.039 --> 00:27:10.759
Elon Musk has been obsessed with X
four years and that's it's well documented.
333
00:27:10.799 --> 00:27:15.480
It's what got him fired from what
eventually became PayPal, because Elon Musk
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00:27:15.519 --> 00:27:18.160
wanted to call it X, and
they're like, get the f out,
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00:27:18.400 --> 00:27:22.240
and and they changed him to PayPal
and it became crazy successful, and now
336
00:27:22.240 --> 00:27:26.440
he want, you know, he
buys Twitter for forty four billion dollars and
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00:27:26.680 --> 00:27:30.079
he changes the name to X because
he's obsessed with it. And the logo
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00:27:30.920 --> 00:27:36.759
is the actual wing ding font from
like our nineties computers letter yes yes,
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00:27:37.319 --> 00:27:41.799
And once I saw that. And
just because two million, two million Teslas
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00:27:41.799 --> 00:27:47.279
were recalled two days ago for the
uh or the malfunctioning of the autopilot,
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So be careful on those roads this
year, says the man who just got
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into a car wreck. He's speaking
from experience. Mine was a good old
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fashioned gmc van so yes in Polk
County, Florida, A thirty seven year
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00:28:06.359 --> 00:28:10.440
old man with an all gas no
brakes tattoo into a series of car burglaries
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00:28:10.480 --> 00:28:17.079
with a crash during a police chase. Timothy Hoague was speeding in a two
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00:28:17.160 --> 00:28:23.039
thousand and six Cadillac CTS when he
crashed. There was a passenger in the
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vehicle with him. Her name is
Rebecca Kozb She was in that Cadillac with
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him. She's also a suspect in
the car burglary. She was injured.
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00:28:30.799 --> 00:28:36.519
Timothy is now facing charges of burglary
of an unoccupied conveyance with an enhancement of
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crossing county lines, felony, petite
theft, fleeing to elude, conspiracy to
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00:28:42.880 --> 00:28:48.920
commit burglary, possession of methemphetamine no
surprise thereession of marijuana because you got to
352
00:28:48.960 --> 00:28:52.839
come back down from the meth,
possession of drug paraphernalia because you don't just
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do that, you know, freehand, and resisting arrest, although without violence.
354
00:28:56.880 --> 00:29:02.319
Oh, good old Timothy, he
knows better than to be violent.
355
00:29:02.920 --> 00:29:07.599
Uh. Yeah, it really does
seem to me that this is an individual
356
00:29:07.240 --> 00:29:15.400
who has idolized Vin Diesel in the
Fast and Furious movies so much. Yeah,
357
00:29:15.440 --> 00:29:19.720
he shaved his head, shaved his
head and got the all Gas No
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00:29:19.839 --> 00:29:25.559
Breaks tattoo across the front of his
neck. Wow, on his that's a.
359
00:29:26.240 --> 00:29:30.000
I always wonder this, like when
you walk into a tatt like I
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00:29:30.039 --> 00:29:33.000
have tattoos, but I the guy
who does mine designs them for me.
361
00:29:33.160 --> 00:29:37.759
I see them, he colors them
in, we change it up. Who
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00:29:37.799 --> 00:29:40.400
walks in and goes, let me
get this, and then the guy goes,
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00:29:40.519 --> 00:29:44.359
yeah, that'll be three hundred bucks, Like who does that? Like
364
00:29:44.400 --> 00:29:48.000
if you walk and go and if
I went to my guy, my buddy
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00:29:48.079 --> 00:29:51.960
Jake, and I went I want
all gas, no breaks, he'd be
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00:29:51.960 --> 00:29:56.720
like, hey, man, go
sober up. Uh and then and then
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00:29:56.839 --> 00:30:00.920
come back when you're not on some
sort of painkiller. Well we're not doing
368
00:30:00.960 --> 00:30:04.440
that. Isn't that how most of
the tattoo parlors in Deep Lum survives.
369
00:30:06.039 --> 00:30:10.519
The drunk person goes in there,
he goes, you know, give me,
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00:30:10.559 --> 00:30:17.359
I love chickens on my neck?
Hold on going on your neck?
371
00:30:17.559 --> 00:30:19.559
Hold on, I love chickens.
Now I have a question. Is it
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00:30:21.160 --> 00:30:26.839
island chicken or State side chicken or
a boat chicken? What are you getting?
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00:30:26.839 --> 00:30:34.039
It's very different. They do have
at Lamar Street Tattoo, which is
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00:30:34.200 --> 00:30:41.319
deep all of adjacent Lamar Street Tattoo
has a gumball machine that has like you
375
00:30:41.359 --> 00:30:42.720
know, like when you go to
the grocery store, like they have the
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00:30:42.759 --> 00:30:48.240
little things with the plastic you put
fifty bucks in and what no tattoo it
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00:30:48.319 --> 00:30:52.599
whatever comes out is what you get. You can't change it. And I've
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00:30:52.640 --> 00:30:56.799
watched people while I was getting mine
done, watch people come in and just
379
00:30:56.000 --> 00:31:00.920
giggling, like, here's the fifty
bucks and put it in and whatever it
380
00:31:00.960 --> 00:31:07.240
is, that's what they get permanently
on their body. It's actually pretty brilliant
381
00:31:07.240 --> 00:31:11.400
on their part because then that means
they're going to get the return business when
382
00:31:11.599 --> 00:31:14.799
they decide that, oh I don't
want that, and they spend four hundred
383
00:31:14.799 --> 00:31:18.319
and fifty dollars to cover up the
gumball tat. No, the guy,
384
00:31:18.640 --> 00:31:22.519
the guy who is cubicle is not
cubicle, but his chair is next to
385
00:31:22.559 --> 00:31:29.839
the kumball machine. Is the tattoo
removal Guys, it's the best fuck that's
386
00:31:29.880 --> 00:31:34.279
the best business model. You get
him comedy and it's one hundred and fifty
387
00:31:34.279 --> 00:31:38.279
dollars to have it removed. So
it's it's two hundred bucks. Everybody wins.
388
00:31:41.480 --> 00:31:44.920
This is just uh, this is
just the best, like you got
389
00:31:44.920 --> 00:31:48.680
to see it. It's it's fantastic. Uh but yeah, well uh what
390
00:31:48.839 --> 00:31:52.480
is I wanted to ask before we
get that, what is petit felony?
391
00:31:52.559 --> 00:31:56.079
What does that mean? Do we
know what that is? Uh? It's
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00:31:56.160 --> 00:32:01.359
Florida, so it's difficult to uh
completely understand because even their laws that get
393
00:32:01.400 --> 00:32:07.119
broken are weirdly worded. I've never
heard of felony petit theft. Oh,
394
00:32:07.160 --> 00:32:10.279
felony petit theft? Yeah, okay, so I guess it just means a
395
00:32:10.359 --> 00:32:15.240
small felony as opposed to like a
big one. It's like in Texas,
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00:32:15.279 --> 00:32:19.119
you know, it's you know,
like state felonies are what AB and C
397
00:32:19.440 --> 00:32:23.319
or something like that. Right Florida, though, I guess it goes You
398
00:32:23.359 --> 00:32:30.960
would assume their felonies would go big, bigger, biggest. That's a creamy
399
00:32:30.960 --> 00:32:40.519
felony. But I guess they start
with the tee and work out it's also
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00:32:40.559 --> 00:32:51.000
barely legal. Thank you, Florida
for another content rich year inside the tree.
401
00:32:52.039 --> 00:32:53.799
Happy new year everyone. I hope
it's a great year for you.
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00:32:53.880 --> 00:32:58.839
We hope it's a great year for
us. Many big things planned inside this
403
00:32:58.920 --> 00:33:01.720
treehouse for twenty twenty for and we
want you to be a part of it,
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and so we invite you to do
so. So stay with us and
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00:33:06.440 --> 00:33:09.880
be sure and bring a friend inside
the treehouse with you next time. M






















