Dec. 4, 2025

Here For A Good Time, Not A Long One | Thursday December 4, 2025

Here For A Good Time, Not A Long One | Thursday December 4, 2025
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On today's show, granny still knows how to eat it, where to not follow your dreams, a raccoon who can't handle his booze, drunk monkey island, and a biker influencer has a really bad day.  

LINKS:

octogenarian wins 'best technique' at lesbian pie-eating contest: 'Savoured every morsel'

Teen with dreams of lion taming mauled to death after climbing into enclosure at zoo

Drunk raccoon found passed out in liquor store bathroom: Officials - ABC News

Biker Influencer Karen Sofía Quiroz Ramírez Dead at 25

The Treehouse Show is a Dallas based comedy podcast. Leave your worries outside and join Dan O'Malley, Trey Trenholm, Raj Sharma, and their guests for laughs about funny news, viral stories, and hilarious commentary.

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WEBVTT

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Want more Treehouse, check out our YouTube exclusive shows at

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YouTube dot com. Slash at Treehouse on air.

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It is time leave your worries outside and laugh with

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us inside the Treehouse. I'm Daniel Malley along with Trey Trenholm,

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Raj Sharma and Jerry Caldwell. At the end of what

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appears to be Old People Week, inside the Treehouse told

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you a story about the world's oldest bus driver, ninety

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five year old Raymond Hagar in Wichita Falls, Texas. Then

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I believe it was yesterday I told you about the

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Grandma's Stand in McKinney. That's where you can talk to

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and listen to a sweet old Lady's started in New

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York City, And now it seems San Francisco had started

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their version because over the weekend, eighty one year old

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Babs Ditch competed in a San Francisco lesbian pie eating

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contest and one best technique, proving there is no age

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limit to good tongue skills. The competition took place at

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Ricky Sports Bar to raise money for the Curve Foundations

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twenty twenty six Lesbian Visibility Week. I'd say mission accomplished there.

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Uh yeah, Ricky's is the only sports bar in the

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San Francisco Bay Area dedicated to celebrating women's sports. They

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described the contest as an epically sloppy, no hands, no

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forks battle for bragging rights had a one hundred dollars

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cash prize.

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Sounds like a speed dating competition.

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Well, it could have started as one thing and finished

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as something else, as headshake in there. This is also

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a good time to promote our Patreon. Go to patreon

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dot com slash treehouse on air and you can see

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Babs getting after it.

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Oh be Babs.

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Yeah, but now that you've seen a lesbian pie eating contest,

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do you want to see a gay hot dog eating contest?

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I mean, I guess in the interest of fairness, yeah,

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I mean at this point.

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Well, sorry to disappoint you, because I don't therefore I

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didn't google that. Yay. Look this popped up on my

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algorithm this morning, and I'm not prepared for any more

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Algo shifts. Okay, so I'm not piping in gay hot

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dog eating contest into my computer today. Thank you if

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you want to be my guest, or if lucky, perhaps

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you were Babs guessed at one point over the eight decades,

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good on her though, Yeah, rocking it in the move

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Boo and the Beret.

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Yeah. That the combination is pretty spectacular.

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And it's interesting too because you noticed she kept her

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eye glasses on, so she wanted to see what she

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was doing.

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Are those glasses or goggled?

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You know what. I'm not sure. Let's see if we

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can go back and take a look it kind of

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it's tough to tell. I mean, there were she goes

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face first into that pie. It looks more like eye glasses.

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You know.

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She she's a season vet. I mean they probably dual function,

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that's true, right.

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Yeah, she's definitely a season vet. She's seen war.

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She's eating pie in the best of times. She's eating

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pie in the worst of times. She's been in a

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dust bowl when it was a euphemism.

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I don't know what what qualifies as a Subaru classic,

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but I bet she drives it invented and I bet

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you didn't go home alone.

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I bet Oh, yeah, no, definitely not. And the sticker

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on the back of that Subaru tray will read I

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can even make a dust bowl wet or just simply

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lesbian pie Eating Champion twenty twenty five, sim Francisco, So it.

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Might be one of those that has you know, twenty

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stickers that it goes back to nineteen eighty eight.

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A fine year, a fire, very fine year. Like I guess,

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I guess it was because of the other stories I

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saw this week, the ninety five year old bus driver,

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the actual grandma stands and McKinney that you know social

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media algorithm said, you know what Dan needs to see today.

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He needs to see this old lady getting after a pie.

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And you know what, it wasn't wrong, which.

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Brandy told me. She goes, well, you're like my grandma

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stand You know, I come to you and I need

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something to explain.

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Thanks.

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Wow, just when you thought dating a younger woman was

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gonna be fun. Uh huh, she stabs you right in

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your old ass heart. On the other hand, trap, you

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could lean into that and you can have a daddy stand,

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except there will be no talking. That had to hurt

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when she said that, though.

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You know, she meant it in a nice way, and

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it was just the way it came out there. It was, Yeah,

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it's stung a little bit. Then I found it amusing.

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Yeah, I'm glad you can find it amusing. But it's

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interesting how when young people pay an older person a compliment.

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It hurts first because they don't realize it's like they

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just genuinely think they're offering up a compliment. Problem is

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they're not on the receiving side of it, so they

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don't realize that it's sweet. But it also stings a bit.

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What was she asking you about that she needed to

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go to your stand and ask for clarification or information

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on the past?

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I don't remember what the question.

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Was, classic old man maneuver.

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Yeah, Trey just fell asleep midway through, woke up and

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just screamed, get off my lawn.

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It was something about the Cold War and that's ah,

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did you tell her? It was the best?

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It was?

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The The Cold War was the best inspiration Hollywood has

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ever had because we got some of our finest films

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out of the Cold War. In music and music, Yeah,

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I mean tons of great stuff. Like don't get me wrong.

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The post nine to eleven era was also good for

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Hollywood because for a while there, Hollywood didn't know who

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the new bad guys were. The Cold War was over

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and then it's kind of shifting stuff and it was

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kind of lost, and then nine to eleven happens and

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you got a little bit of terrorist stuff in there

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before nine to eleven. But after nine eleven, then Hollywood's like,

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now we got our bad guys for every show, every everything,

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and we're still in that era.

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Oh yeah, trust me. I would get you know, go

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to these auditions and you know there's fifty people in

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there that looked just like each other.

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Yeah.

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I was like, no, I can't. And so I remember

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telling Fern, who's the vice president casting for CBS. I

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was like, no cab drivers, no terrorists, and she's just like, well,

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then you're not gonna work. And I was like, okay

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with that.

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It's okay to have standards. Yeah, it really is. It's

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okay to be like, you know what, I don't want

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to I don't want to only portray a stereotype.

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Yeah.

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I would look at it as I guess it kind

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of depends on you know, uh, if you need to

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pay bills and or well, let me at least look

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at the script. Yeah.

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No, I just couldn't do it. I remember I turned

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down one audition for it's called Taxi twenty Taxi twenty

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one or some Taxi twenty two something length, and I

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just was like, I can't go I'm not going to

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be And this was playing a like devout Muslim cab driver,

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like the whole garb, and I was like, Nope, I'm

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not going. And I get a call from Fern and

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she's like, you're the owner of the cab company. I

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was like, I'll see it at the audition.

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As long as I'm in management. Because because because it

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does make sense if you were to say, as you did,

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you told the head of CBS, no cab drivers, no terrorists.

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I'm not playing those roles. But what if she came

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to you with a doctor a medical drama, because it's

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also very stereotypical Indians in the medical field, would you

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have turned that down because it was stereotypical.

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No, but also keep in mind that's brand new, like

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Er was on for fourteen fifteen years before they had

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an Indian doctor. Yeah, and I would watch I love

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the show, and I would watch it. I'm like, I

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just don't trust that hospital. Yeah, like there's not one

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Indian doctor in that place.

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I'm not going. Eventually they did. Eventually they did, but

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it took a few seasons.

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Yeah, and they brought in perminder nagra from Bend Atle

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like Backham yep, and that was the only one. And

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then now you turn on like you go to the show.

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I don't know if you guys watched the pit. No,

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it's really good, that's what I've heard. And there's a few.

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There's a few Indian doctors and that one one's a

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female resident. That's pretty cool. So no, I would tend

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I mean stuff like that, like scientist doctor.

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So it's okay if the stereotype is prestigious, Yes, got it.

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So if CBS comes calling with doctor Sharma new from

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CBS Wednesday nights at nine, Healing Hearts and Racist Minds,

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Oh yeah, every week, every week, every Wednesday at nine,

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you'd be on board with that one.

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Uh huh.

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The way you can act like your parents are proud

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of you.

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Yep. I just want to be able to say, you know,

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not a doctor, but I play one on TV. Let's

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just be able to say that line and mean it.

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And ironically it'll pay more.

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Yeah.

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This is.

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Are dot com.

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Eight three three Cook df W is the phone number

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to get your free roof inspection and property reviews scheduled

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00:11:12.480 --> 00:11:15.240
with Daniel Cook eight three three Cook at DFW. The

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website cookdfw dot com. We talked on a recent episode

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00:11:19.080 --> 00:11:22.440
Daniel on My Television. It suggested to me I should

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watch the film Christmas Twister. I will say, based on

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the artwork, I was very intrigued. But after watching the trailer,

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man that is I can That's as much as I

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can say. I mean that is, that is some terrible performances,

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and those are the ones that they put in the trailer.

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Well, Dan, that's scary because if you which we all

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know who listened to the show, you will give a

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lot of leniency toward bad movies. So if you're the

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one that's saying, WHOA, this is going to be awful,

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I'm really scared. I have not heard of that movie

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at all. But if I'm gonna trust that, if you're

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the one saying that, I'm definitely not gonna go look

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it up.

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I'll send you a link to the trailer. If you're

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a fan of Starship Troopers, I think I just said

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Starship Troopers. Starship Troopers like Starship Troopers. This film, Christmas

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Twister also stars Casper Van Dean.

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I am not a Starship Trooper fan.

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That movie was so ridiculous I can hardly get through it.

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I kind of got mad at myself that I stood

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there and waited and watched it.

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I think that's part of the reason. There was just

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something about it at the time, and I'm like, why

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do I love this movie? It's just dumb and dumb,

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and it's one of those that it's kind of it's

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kind of morphed into a comedy. So like, if I

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watch it now, it's hysterical, especially when Neil Patrick Harris's

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character comes on for those little commercials. It's like, as

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they're torturing this alien life for him, but like want

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to know.

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More, Come on, come join us.

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00:13:03.519 --> 00:13:07.360
Yes, uh well, speaking of come join us, come join

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00:13:07.399 --> 00:13:09.519
the party on the roof that happens every single day

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at COOKDFW Roofing and Restoration in the most respectable, honest

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terms eight three three cook DFW. Get that free roof

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inspection and property review eight three three cook DFW, especially

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if your home gets hit by a Christmas twister.

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You're in the treehouse, visit us online at Treehouse on

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air dot com.

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This segment of the Treehouse is brought to you by

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Cook DFW Roofing and Restoration. To get your free roof

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inspection and property review. No one else offers that as

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far as we know, call eight three three cook DFW.

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That's eight three three cook DFW or the website cookdfw

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00:14:01.960 --> 00:14:05.399
dot com. Turns out Jerry was the one brave enough,

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00:14:06.440 --> 00:14:10.559
brave enough to search for gay hot dog eating contest

233
00:14:10.759 --> 00:14:18.519
and nothing came up. Jerry, Uh, nothing, legit came up. Well,

234
00:14:18.600 --> 00:14:20.240
just sit back and wait. I'm sure you'll get an

235
00:14:20.240 --> 00:14:21.399
invitation in no time.

236
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Apparently, Joey Chestnut is still the winner of the Nathans

237
00:14:28.360 --> 00:14:32.240
record holder of the Nathan's hot Dog eating contest at

238
00:14:32.320 --> 00:14:35.840
seventy six hot dogs, which is about the equivalent of

239
00:14:35.919 --> 00:14:37.200
sixteen pounds of wiener.

240
00:14:39.399 --> 00:14:40.759
He'd be popular at Hunky's.

241
00:14:43.000 --> 00:14:46.360
I just don't know how that happened. How they do that?

242
00:14:46.399 --> 00:14:49.559
The competitive eating is it just how do they stretch

243
00:14:49.600 --> 00:14:51.840
their stomach out to do something like that?

244
00:14:52.960 --> 00:14:56.720
One I believe it's practice. And two they don't eat

245
00:14:56.759 --> 00:14:58.759
the hot dogs in a normal way that we all

246
00:14:58.799 --> 00:15:01.080
eat a hot dog. You know, you got you know,

247
00:15:01.159 --> 00:15:03.320
the wiener in the bun and then your toppings and stuff. Well,

248
00:15:03.320 --> 00:15:04.919
the first of all, they have no topics on it.

249
00:15:05.320 --> 00:15:08.200
And what they do is they eat the wieners separately

250
00:15:08.799 --> 00:15:11.559
from the bread, and the bread they soak in water

251
00:15:11.679 --> 00:15:14.159
so they can just swallow it. Mm hmm.

252
00:15:14.879 --> 00:15:17.600
Yeah, but still seventy two hot dogs has or seventy

253
00:15:17.639 --> 00:15:19.519
seven hot dogs whatever it is, has to take up

254
00:15:19.639 --> 00:15:23.279
a tremendous amount of space in your stomach. So I

255
00:15:23.320 --> 00:15:24.240
don't know how they.

256
00:15:25.320 --> 00:15:27.840
That's why you're not allowed. That's why you're not allowed

257
00:15:27.840 --> 00:15:30.759
to poke any of them in the belly after the competition. Right,

258
00:15:32.039 --> 00:15:32.440
It's like.

259
00:15:32.519 --> 00:15:36.440
They they they practice like they have a whole training

260
00:15:36.480 --> 00:15:37.720
regiment that they go through.

261
00:15:38.879 --> 00:15:43.840
It sounds stupid because it is, but it's real. They

262
00:15:43.840 --> 00:15:45.600
have an absolute regiment when it comes to that.

263
00:15:46.080 --> 00:15:49.440
I saw some video some guy and this was the

264
00:15:49.519 --> 00:15:53.759
second fastest time, Like he did like that old seventy

265
00:15:53.799 --> 00:15:56.159
six er from that steakhouse in Amarilla.

266
00:15:56.600 --> 00:16:01.240
Seventy two ounce, yeah, the Big ex and Steak ranch

267
00:16:01.480 --> 00:16:02.480
in Amarillo.

268
00:16:02.759 --> 00:16:04.759
Yeah, which it's not only the steak, but it's like

269
00:16:04.759 --> 00:16:07.480
a baked potato and some other things solid. Yeah, he

270
00:16:07.519 --> 00:16:09.840
finished it all in six minutes and twenty three seconds

271
00:16:09.919 --> 00:16:11.799
And that was the second fastest time ever.

272
00:16:12.000 --> 00:16:15.440
Holy shit. Yeah. The first fastest was a lady in

273
00:16:15.480 --> 00:16:18.200
twenty fifteen. I think she knocked it out in like

274
00:16:18.320 --> 00:16:21.559
five something minutes. I mean, it's it's insane what people

275
00:16:21.639 --> 00:16:23.840
are able to do if they really set their mind

276
00:16:23.879 --> 00:16:31.200
to it. Speaking of which, it is great to have dreams,

277
00:16:31.519 --> 00:16:35.399
but you also need a plan. Okay, case in point

278
00:16:35.759 --> 00:16:43.080
a wanna be lion tamer was killed by a lion. Again,

279
00:16:43.759 --> 00:16:46.960
great to have dreams, that you need to have a plan.

280
00:16:47.240 --> 00:16:50.759
You can't just jump into a lion enclosure in Brazil

281
00:16:51.600 --> 00:16:55.240
and think you automatically know how to tame lions without

282
00:16:55.279 --> 00:16:59.480
any sort of tools. But that's exactly what this guy did.

283
00:17:00.080 --> 00:17:02.759
Year old man was mauled to death after climbing into

284
00:17:02.799 --> 00:17:07.160
a lion enclosure Sunday morning in Brazil. Viral video capture

285
00:17:07.200 --> 00:17:08.839
the incident. No, I don't have it, and I didn't

286
00:17:08.839 --> 00:17:12.319
look for it. Showed the victims scaling a roughly twenty

287
00:17:12.400 --> 00:17:16.000
six foot tall fence to enter the lioness's enclosure at

288
00:17:16.119 --> 00:17:18.000
Aruda Kamara Zubatentacal Park.

289
00:17:18.240 --> 00:17:19.519
You really did see the video?

290
00:17:20.680 --> 00:17:23.920
I assume it was just him climbing into the enclosure

291
00:17:23.960 --> 00:17:26.920
and then I'm sure social media police, you know, turn

292
00:17:27.000 --> 00:17:29.200
it off or make it go dark before the before

293
00:17:29.200 --> 00:17:31.160
the lioness grabs him by the mouth, which is what

294
00:17:31.240 --> 00:17:31.640
I heard.

295
00:17:31.519 --> 00:17:35.559
She did it's blurred, but what he does is he

296
00:17:35.920 --> 00:17:39.039
hops on a fence, then he jumps onto a tree

297
00:17:39.519 --> 00:17:43.559
and then shimmies down the tree to get into the enclosure.

298
00:17:44.279 --> 00:17:46.759
So he learned to break into this lion enclosure by

299
00:17:46.759 --> 00:17:47.759
watching looney tunes.

300
00:17:48.119 --> 00:17:50.079
This was not his first time. From what I read,

301
00:17:51.200 --> 00:17:55.119
h that that he he was delusional and thought he

302
00:17:55.160 --> 00:17:59.799
had a connection with the lions, and uh was well,

303
00:18:00.279 --> 00:18:02.559
the zoo knew he was crazy. He wouldn't hire him.

304
00:18:02.799 --> 00:18:06.759
M But you know sometimes they say, like bartending, you

305
00:18:06.759 --> 00:18:08.160
don't know if you can really do it till you

306
00:18:08.200 --> 00:18:09.119
get behind the bar.

307
00:18:12.799 --> 00:18:17.319
And you just throw yourself to the lions. Ye no, oh,

308
00:18:17.359 --> 00:18:20.200
you're not wrong about that. But I will say it

309
00:18:20.240 --> 00:18:22.759
turns out he did have a connection to those lions.

310
00:18:22.799 --> 00:18:24.519
I mean it was more like them to him. But

311
00:18:24.759 --> 00:18:30.039
still I don't know if that same affection he had

312
00:18:30.079 --> 00:18:33.599
in his heart was shared with the lions unless they

313
00:18:33.720 --> 00:18:36.440
ate the heart as well. But his name was Gerson

314
00:18:36.480 --> 00:18:40.759
Demelo Machado. He had long aspired to be a lion tamer.

315
00:18:40.960 --> 00:18:44.599
Turns out he was not. He reportedly did have mental

316
00:18:44.599 --> 00:18:49.720
health issues and had been diagnosed with schizophrenia. The zoo

317
00:18:49.799 --> 00:18:53.720
confirmed in a statement that the individual deliberately entered the enclosure,

318
00:18:53.920 --> 00:18:57.839
was attacked by the animal and did not survive his injuries. So,

319
00:18:58.079 --> 00:19:01.119
knowing what we now know about this story, and from

320
00:19:01.160 --> 00:19:03.119
what Trey told us about how this guy was a

321
00:19:03.160 --> 00:19:08.079
repeat offender, he had attempted to and had actually jumped

322
00:19:08.079 --> 00:19:14.319
into the line enclosure previously, shouldn't zoos have security on

323
00:19:14.480 --> 00:19:17.799
site to tranquilize the guests and the animals as needed.

324
00:19:20.119 --> 00:19:23.359
You would think, yeah, I mean.

325
00:19:23.640 --> 00:19:28.400
I would say probably most American zoos have something on hand.

326
00:19:28.559 --> 00:19:30.000
But this is Brazil.

327
00:19:30.440 --> 00:19:38.559
I'm Brazil's not exactly you know. I mean, it's not

328
00:19:38.640 --> 00:19:41.359
a third world country. They have money, they have capabilities,

329
00:19:41.359 --> 00:19:43.559
They have a zoo. It has an enclosure. It's not

330
00:19:43.680 --> 00:19:46.400
like just a walk about part Afghanistan had a zoo

331
00:19:46.519 --> 00:19:52.880
Dan Okay, look that's different. I believe theirs was zoo.

332
00:19:52.960 --> 00:20:02.000
In quotations, I mean, I feel confident like most American

333
00:20:02.119 --> 00:20:05.200
zoos you would not be able to pull off what

334
00:20:05.279 --> 00:20:11.559
this guy did. They and maybe maybe we're just ahead

335
00:20:12.000 --> 00:20:16.599
of this of all the other zoos in idiot prevention.

336
00:20:17.200 --> 00:20:19.640
You know what, I think that's it, That's exactly right,

337
00:20:19.799 --> 00:20:22.119
because in America, we know that we have to make

338
00:20:22.160 --> 00:20:25.640
the enclosure not just safe from the lions jumping out

339
00:20:25.799 --> 00:20:29.839
into the guests, but being enough room from where the

340
00:20:29.920 --> 00:20:35.519
guests stand to trees and things to launch themselves into

341
00:20:35.559 --> 00:20:38.720
the enclosure. You're right, we've, idiot proved it going both ways.

342
00:20:38.759 --> 00:20:40.960
Brazil only did it the one way, and now that

343
00:20:41.039 --> 00:20:42.160
dude paid the price, I mean.

344
00:20:42.200 --> 00:20:44.480
And we had an advantage. We have white women here

345
00:20:44.519 --> 00:20:47.359
that that we have, you know, just study them and

346
00:20:47.400 --> 00:20:49.079
know how to, you know, keep them out of enclosures,

347
00:20:49.079 --> 00:20:50.799
and then you're pretty much safe because they will go

348
00:20:50.880 --> 00:20:54.119
to any means you know necessary to pet the death.

349
00:20:54.200 --> 00:20:57.400
Kiddie. Absolutely, you keep an eye. You keep an eye

350
00:20:57.440 --> 00:21:00.079
on Keeley and Kylie. You see what they do, and

351
00:21:00.119 --> 00:21:03.480
then you just you know, make the appropriate adjustments in

352
00:21:03.559 --> 00:21:04.000
their wake.

353
00:21:05.480 --> 00:21:09.039
Also, doesn't the Dallas zoos serve beer and wine and liquor.

354
00:21:09.759 --> 00:21:10.559
I don't know about liquor.

355
00:21:10.599 --> 00:21:11.359
I know beer and wine.

356
00:21:12.039 --> 00:21:14.839
Yeah, And also I want to keep them from getting

357
00:21:14.880 --> 00:21:18.240
sauced and then and then deciding at that moment like

358
00:21:18.799 --> 00:21:20.640
I'm gonna be a lion tamer as well.

359
00:21:20.680 --> 00:21:22.839
I'm just gonna jump off the mono rail in the

360
00:21:22.839 --> 00:21:23.759
wilds of Africa.

361
00:21:24.599 --> 00:21:25.839
I can I can do it.

362
00:21:26.720 --> 00:21:27.880
I'm gonna peditor out.

363
00:21:30.839 --> 00:21:37.880
Are left kids? We have a free roaming primate stupidest spiral.

364
00:21:38.319 --> 00:21:42.759
Uh so, yes, Stray, I think you're right.

365
00:21:42.799 --> 00:21:45.599
I think the US has idiot proved to a higher

366
00:21:45.640 --> 00:21:48.720
standard than the rest of the world. On the other hand,

367
00:21:48.720 --> 00:21:50.559
maybe the rest of the world doesn't want to idiot

368
00:21:50.599 --> 00:21:52.440
proof because they're like, you know what, you want to

369
00:21:52.440 --> 00:21:54.799
go to an American zoo, you can't get close to

370
00:21:54.839 --> 00:21:56.759
these animals at all. You come to our zoo in

371
00:21:56.799 --> 00:21:59.319
the second or third world country, you might have a chance.

372
00:22:00.599 --> 00:22:02.640
And for everyone else it's like, hey, we didn't charge

373
00:22:02.640 --> 00:22:03.680
any extra for that show.

374
00:22:04.559 --> 00:22:09.960
M hm. That's also true speaking of shows and wild animals.

375
00:22:09.960 --> 00:22:14.319
So it's apparently old People and Animals week here inside

376
00:22:14.319 --> 00:22:18.519
the Treehouse and this one is an immediate classic of

377
00:22:18.599 --> 00:22:22.759
a Virginia liquor store had an unusual guest over the weekend.

378
00:22:23.119 --> 00:22:29.880
A drunk raccoon was found passed out in the bathroom.

379
00:22:31.720 --> 00:22:36.359
Oh beautiful. According to the Hanover County Animal Protection and

380
00:22:36.400 --> 00:22:40.640
Shelter authorities, found the masked bandit collapsed face down in

381
00:22:40.680 --> 00:22:44.119
the bathroom of the Ashland ABC store on Saturday morning,

382
00:22:44.480 --> 00:22:47.480
where the furry burglar had apparently gotten so White Girl

383
00:22:47.559 --> 00:22:51.119
wasted it, ransacked the bottom shelves, and drank multiple types

384
00:22:51.160 --> 00:22:56.119
of alcohol. In a social media post, officials said they

385
00:22:56.160 --> 00:22:59.000
took the very intoxicated raccoon back to the shelter to

386
00:22:59.119 --> 00:23:04.240
sober up before releasing him back into the wild. I

387
00:23:04.279 --> 00:23:07.519
think that maybe what they should have done was to

388
00:23:07.519 --> 00:23:10.480
turn the raccoon over to tray to immediately take to

389
00:23:10.519 --> 00:23:17.440
an AA meeting. According to the authorities, after a few

390
00:23:17.480 --> 00:23:20.400
hours of sleep and zero signs of injury other than

391
00:23:20.440 --> 00:23:23.319
maybe a hangover in poor life choices, the raccoon was

392
00:23:23.359 --> 00:23:26.039
safely released back to the wild, hopefully having learned that

393
00:23:26.119 --> 00:23:31.440
breaking and entering is not the answer. Usually, the Hanover

394
00:23:31.480 --> 00:23:34.319
County Animal Production and Shelter helps rescued animals if they're

395
00:23:34.319 --> 00:23:37.680
found in the wild. This case was a little different,

396
00:23:37.759 --> 00:23:39.559
but the mission remained the same.

397
00:23:41.720 --> 00:23:43.319
And have a hell of a story for his buddies.

398
00:23:43.640 --> 00:23:47.759
Yes, that's right, I found the magical land of liquor boys.

399
00:23:47.880 --> 00:23:52.480
Let me tell you all about it. And now let

400
00:23:52.519 --> 00:23:55.000
me ask you guys this. Let's say you work at

401
00:23:55.000 --> 00:23:57.680
this liquor store. You walk into the bathroom on Saturday

402
00:23:57.680 --> 00:23:59.759
morning to give it a clean before opening up the

403
00:23:59.799 --> 00:24:03.000
door to the public and you come across a face

404
00:24:03.119 --> 00:24:06.960
down raccoon next to the toilet. What do you do?

405
00:24:11.599 --> 00:24:14.119
Miserate a little bit. I've been there, buddy, Just shut

406
00:24:14.200 --> 00:24:18.000
the door, given out a murder sign.

407
00:24:20.240 --> 00:24:23.000
Yeah, I just turn off a light and leave then,

408
00:24:24.319 --> 00:24:27.039
because an't they don't they carry brabies, is right.

409
00:24:27.720 --> 00:24:31.279
I don't think they carry it innately, but they you know,

410
00:24:31.839 --> 00:24:34.519
it is sometimes possible for them to get rabies and

411
00:24:34.599 --> 00:24:36.920
go a little crazy. In this case, I don't think

412
00:24:37.160 --> 00:24:38.960
this one was foaming at the mouth. I think it

413
00:24:39.079 --> 00:24:40.279
was just you know, frothing.

414
00:24:41.920 --> 00:24:45.039
Yeah, he drink, he'd drink the rabies away.

415
00:24:45.359 --> 00:24:47.519
Maybe that's what it was. He had rabies and he

416
00:24:47.640 --> 00:24:51.079
got into the bottom shelf liquor and just whiskeyed it away.

417
00:24:51.799 --> 00:24:56.519
Yeah, that's that's how you beat uh rabies in the

418
00:24:56.559 --> 00:25:02.000
animal world. You just get hammered. Yeah, and hope it

419
00:25:02.039 --> 00:25:02.839
goes away.

420
00:25:03.119 --> 00:25:08.319
Right, Like that's in the pamphlet they hand out rabies

421
00:25:08.319 --> 00:25:13.680
in you an unexpected journey that ends at the liquor store,

422
00:25:13.680 --> 00:25:20.480
face down in the bathroom. It's good and convenience.

423
00:25:20.519 --> 00:25:21.960
He didn't have to wait for the per simons to

424
00:25:21.960 --> 00:25:24.039
fall off the tree and start you know, fermenting.

425
00:25:26.000 --> 00:25:29.119
Yeah, this this that actually reminds me of I can

426
00:25:29.119 --> 00:25:31.799
never remember the island, but it's an island somewhere that's

427
00:25:31.799 --> 00:25:36.519
full of monkeys and they drink, they steal alcohol, and

428
00:25:36.559 --> 00:25:39.799
they eat fermented fruits like crazy. They're just crazy, crazy

429
00:25:40.000 --> 00:25:44.279
drunk monkeys. And I think they smell.

430
00:25:45.599 --> 00:25:49.200
Yeah, that's gonna be somewhere like Southeast Asia. That's what

431
00:25:49.319 --> 00:25:49.920
that sounds like.

432
00:25:51.000 --> 00:25:55.640
Yeah, that's that's not rock Wall. I mean no, no,

433
00:25:59.319 --> 00:26:04.359
you mean what maybe not every night?

434
00:26:05.359 --> 00:26:10.039
It just depends on what you're doing. Yeah, yeah, I

435
00:26:10.079 --> 00:26:11.839
guess the real question there would be if you work

436
00:26:11.880 --> 00:26:13.319
at that liquor store where you open the door and

437
00:26:13.359 --> 00:26:15.880
see the raccoon face down, you know, next to the toilet,

438
00:26:15.960 --> 00:26:18.920
is does he have a friend that's human next to him,

439
00:26:18.960 --> 00:26:21.839
also face down holding his fur back?

440
00:26:25.160 --> 00:26:25.799
Saint Kitts.

441
00:26:27.200 --> 00:26:30.319
That's where it is, really it is in the Caribbean.

442
00:26:32.359 --> 00:26:34.640
You just gave me a whole new island to go explore.

443
00:26:35.680 --> 00:26:37.680
That's not that far away from where I live.

444
00:26:38.960 --> 00:26:41.359
Yeah, but that they can also rip your face off,

445
00:26:42.440 --> 00:26:44.759
So now alcohol.

446
00:26:45.000 --> 00:26:50.079
I think they don't give him fireball and don't give

447
00:26:50.119 --> 00:26:52.880
him Jaeger. I feel mostly safe about it. If you

448
00:26:52.960 --> 00:26:55.240
just give him like like beechy cocktails, give him a

449
00:26:55.279 --> 00:26:57.720
nice rum punch. I don't think they'll have the fighting

450
00:26:57.839 --> 00:26:58.720
gena turned on.

451
00:26:59.400 --> 00:27:00.880
Yeah, rum punch.

452
00:27:00.960 --> 00:27:05.039
You These are the small ones that, uh, I think

453
00:27:05.079 --> 00:27:07.200
the vervet monkeys something like that.

454
00:27:07.480 --> 00:27:13.799
Okay, so the non face rippers, yeah, they're just they're

455
00:27:13.839 --> 00:27:19.480
just here for the party. How the Saint Kit's not

456
00:27:19.559 --> 00:27:23.720
made that part of their tourism campaign, right, Just drunk

457
00:27:23.799 --> 00:27:27.119
monkeys screaming I'm here for the party, me too, Just

458
00:27:27.119 --> 00:27:30.559
a four page pamphlet. Drunk monkeys, drunk monkeys, drunk monkeys.

459
00:27:32.079 --> 00:27:33.799
I mean, is it. I think it's the Bahamas that

460
00:27:33.880 --> 00:27:36.960
have the the feral pigs on the island and they're

461
00:27:36.960 --> 00:27:39.119
actually kind of crazy, like they'll eat some stuff. But

462
00:27:39.200 --> 00:27:41.279
you know, drunk monkeys on Saint Kits, I mean, that's

463
00:27:41.400 --> 00:27:47.359
that'll that'll bring in tourists. Yeah, I mean just imagine, yeah,

464
00:27:47.400 --> 00:27:49.160
imagine being at a swim at bar and that the

465
00:27:49.240 --> 00:27:55.799
dude next to you, it's just a full on monkey.

466
00:27:57.160 --> 00:27:59.680
Saint Kits. Come for the weather, stay for the drunk monkeys.

467
00:28:00.440 --> 00:28:05.880
See it sells itself, it does. I'm never going, but

468
00:28:06.039 --> 00:28:06.960
you guys have fun.

469
00:28:09.960 --> 00:28:13.119
Yeah, I just have a monkey with a Pina colada

470
00:28:13.119 --> 00:28:14.920
and a cigarette. Hey yeah, here for a good time,

471
00:28:14.960 --> 00:28:15.680
not a long time.

472
00:28:16.000 --> 00:28:17.279
That's right.

473
00:28:27.559 --> 00:28:31.680
We're listening to the Treehouse. Visit us online a Treehouse

474
00:28:31.799 --> 00:28:36.079
on Air dot com. Do you feel restless and anxious?

475
00:28:36.200 --> 00:28:38.960
Feel like something's missing in your life? Maybe you just

476
00:28:39.000 --> 00:28:41.160
need a little more Treehouse in it. Go to patreon

477
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478
00:28:43.720 --> 00:28:47.119
the bonus features of subscription offers, including bonus shows, behind

479
00:28:47.160 --> 00:28:50.319
the scenes content, special subscriber only live shows, and so

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00:28:50.440 --> 00:28:53.680
much more. That's Patreon dot com slash Treehouse on Air.

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That's p A t r e o in dot com

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00:28:56.599 --> 00:28:57.960
slash Treehouse on Air.

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You're in the Treehouse. Visit us online at Treehouse OnAir

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00:29:09.519 --> 00:29:13.960
dot com.

485
00:29:14.799 --> 00:29:16.920
You know the saying too close for comfort? That's how

486
00:29:16.920 --> 00:29:19.319
I felt there near the end. Thank you, Jerry, appreciate that.

487
00:29:20.039 --> 00:29:22.160
If it is Thursday, Happy Thursday to you. If it

488
00:29:22.200 --> 00:29:25.039
is your Friday that you're listening to the show, Happy

489
00:29:25.119 --> 00:29:30.359
Ford Day Inside the Treehouse. Two massive stories that we

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00:29:30.400 --> 00:29:33.319
need to touch on before we close up the Treehouse

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00:29:33.480 --> 00:29:40.839
for this week. The first of which is this a

492
00:29:40.880 --> 00:29:44.400
sport Bank influencer is dead at the age of twenty five,

493
00:29:45.599 --> 00:29:52.039
killed after running into a truck. You know the saying

494
00:29:53.519 --> 00:29:57.759
at least they died doing what they love. I feel

495
00:29:57.839 --> 00:30:00.400
like the reason why you do the thing saying that

496
00:30:00.440 --> 00:30:03.480
you love is because it doesn't kill you, and the

497
00:30:03.519 --> 00:30:05.960
moment that it does kill you, I feel like the

498
00:30:06.000 --> 00:30:09.279
love affairs should be over. That's just what I think

499
00:30:09.319 --> 00:30:14.200
it is. It is, yeah, but I mean as I mean,

500
00:30:14.279 --> 00:30:19.839
as the truck is going through your body and eventually

501
00:30:19.880 --> 00:30:22.160
gets to the heart, I imagine you're not going to

502
00:30:22.200 --> 00:30:26.799
have the love for the sport biking that you once did. Again.

503
00:30:27.480 --> 00:30:32.440
That's just me, though. Karen Sophia Kiros Ramirez, a popular

504
00:30:32.519 --> 00:30:37.359
influencer known for posting motorcycle related content, has died. The star,

505
00:30:37.559 --> 00:30:40.640
also known as bike Girl Online, lost control of her

506
00:30:40.640 --> 00:30:44.559
motorcycle and ran into a truck in Columbia on Wednesday.

507
00:30:46.119 --> 00:30:48.680
After colliding with the trunk, she was then run over

508
00:30:48.759 --> 00:30:57.200
by another truck. This is sorry, come on the most like.

509
00:30:57.279 --> 00:31:02.039
According to a transportation official, the most likely hypothesis for

510
00:31:02.160 --> 00:31:05.440
the accident is that the motorcyclist was traveling between two

511
00:31:05.559 --> 00:31:08.920
vehicles and act more commonly referred to as lane splitting.

512
00:31:10.119 --> 00:31:15.079
The official also told an investigation into her death is underway,

513
00:31:15.160 --> 00:31:20.480
although I imagine it won't take very long. So just

514
00:31:21.240 --> 00:31:25.519
keep that in mind with whatever hobby you have is

515
00:31:25.680 --> 00:31:29.079
just you know, if it has a deadly element to it,

516
00:31:30.920 --> 00:31:35.279
maybe don't do it. Be careful, or don't do the

517
00:31:35.319 --> 00:31:38.480
stupid side of it. Because the lane splitting thing, I've

518
00:31:38.519 --> 00:31:40.279
seen a lot. I've seen a lot of that, and

519
00:31:40.920 --> 00:31:43.160
I see that a lot of where I live, and

520
00:31:43.200 --> 00:31:45.319
I wonder, I don't know how you guys don't eat

521
00:31:45.359 --> 00:31:49.160
more trucks, but and when and when someone does, By

522
00:31:49.160 --> 00:31:51.519
the way, like we've seen this in the like the

523
00:31:51.599 --> 00:31:54.279
DFW motorcycle community where they do the stunting and they'll

524
00:31:54.279 --> 00:31:57.039
shut down the freeways and inevitably one of them gets

525
00:31:57.079 --> 00:32:01.240
hurt and or dies. They all have a big motorcycle

526
00:32:01.720 --> 00:32:04.680
uh you know, rally on the middle of a freeway

527
00:32:04.680 --> 00:32:07.480
where they stop trafficking stunt in memory of the person

528
00:32:07.559 --> 00:32:12.079
that died doing that exact thing. I'm not saying you're

529
00:32:12.119 --> 00:32:14.599
asking for it. I'm just saying, maybe find a different

530
00:32:14.640 --> 00:32:19.000
way to you know, celebrate your sport or to live

531
00:32:19.039 --> 00:32:19.880
life on the edge.

532
00:32:20.680 --> 00:32:24.079
Yeah, like a stupid In California, lane splitting is legal,

533
00:32:24.319 --> 00:32:27.839
Like you can like they encourage it because of how

534
00:32:27.920 --> 00:32:29.039
conjust to traffic is.

535
00:32:29.559 --> 00:32:31.880
Yeah, that's right. I remember going to California before, and

536
00:32:31.920 --> 00:32:34.000
that was a legal thing where they're allowed to do it,

537
00:32:34.000 --> 00:32:39.640
and in Texas it's not right, right, Yeah, in Texas

538
00:32:39.640 --> 00:32:46.920
you might catch a door, and and in Texas, if

539
00:32:46.960 --> 00:32:49.440
you catch a door, it's your fault. In California, if

540
00:32:49.480 --> 00:32:51.880
you catch a door, then it's probably the other driver's fault.

541
00:32:51.880 --> 00:32:56.559
But Texas lives by a different code than California. Yeah,

542
00:32:56.599 --> 00:32:58.480
and then finally, go ahead, rush.

543
00:32:58.680 --> 00:33:00.759
I was just say because if you didn't let them

544
00:33:01.000 --> 00:33:03.640
split lanes and they just had to follow normal traffic

545
00:33:03.720 --> 00:33:08.720
law mid the the backup would be insane, would it?

546
00:33:09.559 --> 00:33:13.079
Mm hmm? There's so many motorcycles, I mean.

547
00:33:13.440 --> 00:33:15.319
I guess I guess there aren't is I guess there

548
00:33:15.319 --> 00:33:19.160
aren't as many traffic or motorcycle related deaths on the

549
00:33:19.200 --> 00:33:22.359
freeways in California. So they they guess it's okay, or

550
00:33:22.400 --> 00:33:25.160
it's at least worth it from a statistical standpoint. It

551
00:33:25.279 --> 00:33:27.160
just doesn't seem worth it to me from a safety

552
00:33:27.200 --> 00:33:32.559
standpoint versus a traffic standpoint, to have lanes splitting be legal.

553
00:33:34.119 --> 00:33:37.519
I mean, the cars aren't really moving in California, right,

554
00:33:37.720 --> 00:33:38.160
I mean.

555
00:33:39.960 --> 00:33:42.119
I mean during I mean like during your rush hour,

556
00:33:42.240 --> 00:33:44.400
like the morning rush hour, afternoon rush hour, but like

557
00:33:44.480 --> 00:33:50.359
during the day, it's pretty pretty decent, but not.

558
00:33:50.359 --> 00:33:53.680
When traffic is stopped. If I'm a motorcyclist going between lanes,

559
00:33:53.839 --> 00:33:56.839
That's when I'd be most worried, because what if someone's

560
00:33:56.880 --> 00:33:59.559
been sitting in that car for forty five minutes, an hour,

561
00:33:59.680 --> 00:34:02.559
two hours, three hours, and right as I'm going by

562
00:34:02.680 --> 00:34:04.160
is when they decide to get out of the car

563
00:34:04.160 --> 00:34:05.880
and go take a leak on the side of the road.

564
00:34:06.000 --> 00:34:13.000
And that's when I eat their door. It's fair and

565
00:34:13.039 --> 00:34:19.880
then and then finally tray. This one's for you if

566
00:34:19.920 --> 00:34:22.760
you have a complicated relationship with your mother. Here is

567
00:34:23.679 --> 00:34:28.039
a new idea. A man donated his mom's body to science,

568
00:34:28.079 --> 00:34:38.159
but the military used it for an explosion test. Trey

569
00:34:38.239 --> 00:34:41.960
is now thinking about and fantasizing about all the possibilities

570
00:34:42.000 --> 00:34:43.960
of what to do with his mom when she passes.

571
00:34:46.639 --> 00:34:48.119
Oh oh, she has to pass first.

572
00:34:52.599 --> 00:34:58.920
That changes things a bit. Yeah, for it to be legal. Yes,

573
00:35:01.079 --> 00:35:03.599
for all things Treehouse. Go to Treehouse on air dot com.

574
00:35:03.599 --> 00:35:06.559
You can also find and follow us on social media

575
00:35:06.920 --> 00:35:09.679
and by the way from your listening platform right now,

576
00:35:10.760 --> 00:35:13.079
get that share button, Share the Treehouse Show with a

577
00:35:13.119 --> 00:35:17.480
friend and let's grow at Treehouse on air, on social.

578
00:35:17.519 --> 00:35:19.599
For me, it's at the Danielmalley. For Trey, it's at

579
00:35:19.639 --> 00:35:23.000
Tree Trenholme One. For Raj at comedian Raj. And for Jerry,

580
00:35:23.000 --> 00:35:26.119
it's at that Jerry guy. We we'll see you next time,

581
00:35:26.199 --> 00:35:27.800
right here inside the Treehouse