YouTube Ep 17 | Dear Treehouse | The Perfect Couple!

0:00 Okay, wait a minute. So you don't want me to play the intro. Music, No, no, I'm gonna I'm gonna start, and then you will know when to come in. Okay, I don't know if I will, because I don't know if we've ever started a show without the intro music, and the very few that we have we had to play it because listeners got angry. Trust me. Okay, it's all you. The world's smallest pius, Yes, a little bit of it. Come again, meeting the man with the world's smallest penius. Yes, we're meeting the man with the world's smallest penis.

0:46 This is where you welcome us into the treehouse. Dan, you know it's not small my middle finger and it's twin also not small quite. You know you're content and disdain for me. Those are different fingers. This is f and U and then the content and disdain are kind of spread among the other ones. Okay, So I have lots of questions.

1:28 Same, the first of which is how did this pop up on your algorithm, Tray Dann. My algorithm's magical. I don't know what to tell you. Oh, so it's little leprechauns and they're just feeding you things something like that. Okay, fine, all right, I'm in. Let's meet the Let's meet the man with the world's tiniest penis. I think this is from it like Great bit Britain this morning. I think I think you had it right with great. Bitten Thine meeting the man with the world's smallest penis.

2:13 Yes, a little bit of everything for you today. Honestly, only on this morning, right, Graham. Norton joins me. Tomorrow, I will see. You at nine thirty them I'll all decide who is it's got the smallest winkie. Have a good day? When did you? So? That was the tease? It's good teas short and sweet. Mm hmm, just like. Yeah, first start to realize that you had a really small penis? Why is she? I would say, probably around high school, right, and dealing with like girlfriends and stuff like that. But I was always like under the belief that like maybe, like I'm a late bloomer.

2:58 Yeah maybe one day in again. He's still waiting, he's still hoping and praying on his knees every single night. Well nobody else is so yeah, not without a searchlight. God, Wow, why would wow? Why would you go on what I presume to be national television where you live and tell this story. Oh god, well, they're obviously flying him around places, is what I mean?

3:41 Like this is in the UK and he's from here. Yeah, it's like he does not sound like he sounds like he's from the States. Oh that makes it even worse because I was so preoccupied with the reason he was on the show in the first place, because of his small winkie that I didn't even notice he didn't have an accent. So you're right, he's not even wow. So maybe is reasoning his world travel or maybe he's on a quest around the world hoping to find someone with a smaller one. But okay, does it say how small it is? Do we get to that part? You know? There are some some clues.

4:21 Okay, normal size. So you're waiting for pupty to have an impact and that's going to happen. And Jenny never did just never did. I just never did Did you speak to your parents about it? No? I'm adopted and I didn't really talk to him about study. He didn't have a chance to, shad, Is that why they gave him up? This is clearly not a good one and for those that are only seeing us for the first time here on YouTube. I can say that because I'm adopted, but you.

5:02 Know, clearly a family took him in. But I is this not something you would feel comfortable talking to your adopted parents about. I have no idea. I've never met mine, and I'm pretty sure that if I did, my first question. Or my tenth would not be. So, Dad, you packing or what's the deal? No, I said, you know, he said he didn't talk to his adopted parents. I mean, I. Yeah, But the way it sounded, seeing I'm doing the hand gesture too, my bad, buddy. But the way it sounded the way he was responding to that was maybe he knows who they are, but he hasn't spoken to them about it. See when someone asks me, have you spoken to your you know, your biological family about that, my first response as an adoptee is I don't know who they are, So no.

5:50 Okay, but that's me. But I was always like under the belief that like maybe, like I'm a late bloomer, yeah, maybe one day it'll give normal size. So you're waiting for pupty to have an impact, and that was gonna happen. And Danny never did just never did it? Just never did? Did you speak to your parents about it? Yes? This is a great point to bring up the topic of perspective because there are those of us that are just you know, quote unquote normal average, and you think, oh man, it'd be great if I just had a little extra. And the perspective here is somewhere there's a guy who's wishing he was just average, and that should make you appreciate whatever you got as long as it ate what he got.

6:41 I I think this guy just I think this guy wishes he was just small. Yeah, I mean, honest to God, any any advancement. Any improvement, any growth, what's this guy is like a podcast between the legs. Any signs of growth and he will be ill. No, I'm adopted, okay. And I didn't really talk to him about stuff. You didn't have a chance to share that with somebody that would have known you as well. What sort of impact did that have on you? Then, Michael is a teenager and in your twenties, when everybody's out there, all your mates are out there and they're meeting other people and they're exploring life and sexuality.

7:24 I'm just more like keeping it to myself, like whereas like I was younger in teen twenties and stuff like that. I well, if it's that small, it's kind of hard to share it. That's yeah, that is mean. But I also do kind of feel that way a little bit. What about Well, what was it like for all your friends? Well, they were having fun, and I'm sitting on your couch talking to you about this. This is great. Let me tell you. This is the greatest thing. Jim whatever the anchor's. Name, is meeting other people and they're exploring life and sexuality. Just more like keeping it to my Sorry, when he's asking that question and it cuts to the man, you can see the dead in his eyes.

8:14 I don't even know if you aren't, if you weren't watching this and just listening to it, I feel like you can hear the dead in his eyes. Uh huh. Everybody's out there. All your mates are out there, and they're meeting other people and they're exploring life and sexuality. Just more like keeping it to myself. Like as like I was younger and teen twenties and stuff like that, I tried to like keep it to myself. I was always like single, even though I had friends, they probably wondered why I wasn't dating, and I just I just didn't want to go through that.

8:54 I think being a teenager anyway is. So difficult, Like just with how your body's changing in your gin's normally terrible. I had what a obriarity? Were you ever a bully? Yeah? A unibrow is the same thing, honey, Yeah, totally the same. You can relate. Okay, See, this is something that that Look, women got their own issues when it comes to insecurity and all that, there's no doubt about it. But they aren't measured the way men are, literally right, and and I've I've i've known a few guys like this where they're.

9:36 Like, oh, I've got a bah. And it's like, dude, that's not an achievement. That's just a biological thing. You didn't do anything. It's not like you went to the gym and did a bunch of push ups and it grew and got bigger and look at me now kind of thing or milk it does a boner good. No, it's either something you got or you don't. And so it bugs a hell out of me when people treat things like it bugs a hell out. I mean when people treat hereditary things like there's some sort of an achievement or even things that are inherited, whether it's a body part or looks or wealth, like I'm better than you. No you're not. You just got lucky. It was the you know, you hit the you know, hereditary biological lottery.

10:20 Good for you. And then there's this guy. Yeah, I feel bad for this guy because he's a big fella. Yeah that doesn't mean help he is, but he you know, yeah, if anything, that tells me. So they always talk about Okay, so you see a guy with the sports car and everything, and everyone's like, oh, he's compensating. Where is this guy compensating? Because if if I was in his shoes, whatever size they are, I would go out of my way to be the best in shape person I have ever known.

11:02 I would have to. I mean, you talk about compensating, it's like, by God, if there are certain things I can control, I am going to try to do all. Of those things. And if he was compensating, he'd have to be driving Bigfoot. Wait, the truck or the sasquatch, you know. Take your pick, or actually I think you would have to have the truck and Sasquatch as his chauffeur. There you go, Yeah, all right? Or did anybody ever comment? No, nobody, Like, like I said, I kept it pretty secret pretty much. There was a few girlfriends, like in high school or whatever, they knew about it. But as far as I know, like, it never got around, Like I didn't get picked on for it or anything because nobody knew.

11:51 So. And with regards to you, you've said that you have tried to initiate intimate relations but it's just not feasible. How us beside your penis affect your day to day life. What sort of impacts does it. Have aside from Blake to not being able to like like I can't go out have a one night stand, I can't go out and do things like that. But it also affects you with your ability to use the restroom, your confidence. How small is it? I'm with you. I mean, when you're on television and you're having this discussion about it, you kind of need to know, right, Yeah, does you say he can't use the restroom or he has a difficult time using the restroom?

12:41 Hey, aside from Blake, they not being able to like like I can't go out have a one night stand. I can't go out and do things like that. But it also affects you with your ability to use the restroom, your confidence. Because you can't you and it's standing up, can you? No, even even sitting down can be tricky with clean up and everything. Right, Oh, okay, this took a turn. Does he have one? I mean at a certain point, if it's a certain size and or or lacking, I mean.

13:22 Is it? Is it one? Like? I think? I think it would make more sense if he just went on and told people it was a birth effect. I was born with that one. At least then you get some sympathy. Out of it. I've never heard of a birth effect like that or somebody who's born without one. But I mean, this has to be if you're having a hard time sitting down to pee. Because it has no drop. Yeah, So it's just that I'm so confused right now. Is it? I mean? Yeah, I am too, So Trey, is there nothing? And I'm not googling this by the way, is there.

14:02 Nothing in this report? Or is is there another package? Poor choice of words from this morning show in the UK that tells us at all the actual size, because if it said if I saw it right in that little aption man with the world's smallest micro It's like, well, how do they know it is the smallest. That means you have to have gone a medical professional or guinness. Maybe that's why he was in town. I don't know. I you know, at at what point did you just give up on life and go all right, I'm gonna I'm gonna go public with this and maybe the publicity will get me some money, and some money will get me a chick.

14:48 Well, he's not wrong. They also have, you know, enlargement surgeries. I mean, I don't know how small his is or how big it would get, but they can. They've got filler they can do that. Mm hmm. If I think. I imagine that he I would think a plastic surgeon would be I almost said a few different like metaphors or analogies to describe it. I would think a plastic surgeon would be excited. That's still bad to try to help this guy.

15:29 I mean, I found it. I found that how small it is? Okay, zero point. Three eight inches, so what he could say is more than a third. I mean, if we're trying to go with you know, pants have full. Here yeah, I was diagnosed with a zero point thirty eight inch micro penis. Wow, well, here's the good news. Okay, I think I found someone for him.

16:22 Oh no, no. Rats, I love pizza. Don't tell me what to do. Sorry, let me start out. Hey, guys out there, my best qualities are I love rats, I love pizza. Don't tell me what to do. A guy that I want is a guy who likes hugging more than kissing. Group dates sound good. I can bring my friend Barbara. Barbara's my best friend. I love impressions. Hey, hey, who am I? I'm the guy with the smallest tween.

17:07 Wow. So this is Lindsay from a VHS dates. Yeah, hello Lindsay. Oh wow, that was a great time for you to find a free spring. That would be the look she would have on her face when she saw his thing. I love impressions. Hey, hey, who am I? I do not want a family. I want my I like my family. My family is fine. They're funny. They don't touch me a lot. Mm. That's a really odd quality to point out as a reason to love your family.

17:48 Yeah, not be It sounds like she's like, well, you know, they're they're wonderful people. They don't blest me so like, Okay, that shouldn't be your baseline, lady. Hey, low standards. It's all right, yeah no, this you're right, so far, so good for the guy was what was the. Tiny weenie dude's name, Michael? Michael good news. I don't want big muscles. Get out of here. What am I dating a marine? I want a little guy. I want a small little guy. Oh and she's even using her hands now. Granted, the space between her palms when she says she wants a little guy is not so little, but uh still, if she can just squeeze that down a little bit more, I think you're right, Trey. I think we found the perfect match for our boy.

18:38 Michael, touch me a lot. I don't want big muscles. Get out of here. What am I dating a marine? I want a little guy. I want a small, little guy, someone who I can bring home to my parents and they like him and see, Okay, that's a guy. I have a best friend. Again. I just don't know how, if you're standing behind that camera, or if there's or behind a wall and watching this, how you're not just falling on the floor laughing.

19:19 I think I think the camera operator on these vhs dates is a robot or they're just using AI, because I think what happens is they go in and hit record. If it's a person, they just go into the they go into the studio, the hit record, and then they got to go into a soundproof booth. Because you can't watch or listen to this and take it seriously if you're in the room recording it. You just know, Yeah, because obviously asking her questions like what is your greatest quality? What do you like in the guy? What do you want? And like somebody's asking. This, I wonder if because you never really hear the voice of the person asking where's a lot of times, like in interviews and documentaries, occasionally they'll put that in there so you can hear it, so you know they actually are speaking to a person. I wonder in this case, like is do they put him in the in like a recording booth so they can mute themselves when they start laughing, or or do they just flash the questions up on the screen or something. I or the person asking the questions, the interviewer, the producer has to be on some sort of sedative.

20:21 Yeah, because this is like the late eighties right, this is what we're looking at. Late eighties, early nineties, somewhere in there. Yeah. Yeah, so there was no I mean, I don't know if there was a maybe a teleprompter. Oh those existed back then. Yeah, yeah, so that could be it. Be Okay, that's a guy. I have a best friend. Her name is Barbria. Hang out with her a lot. Hey, guys out. There, all right, maybe this is not the best match for Michael because it kind of sounds like she may be a lesbian. I think that's a perfect match for mine.

21:08 Well done, tree Yeah, I think you're right for all things Treehouse Treehouse on Air dot com. Listen to the full Treehouse Show podcast episodes everywhere you get your podcasts, including Spotify, iHeart, and Apple podcasts. Also, be sure to follow us on social media at Treehouse on Air. We will see you next time right here the tree House, which, by the way, we're Treehouse is more of show versus brower. Whatever you found it, that's important. We'll see you next time.