It's FRIIIDAY! #13: All Aboard the Santa Train

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Welcome inside the tree House. I'm
Daniel Malley along with Trey Trendholm. We

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are raj less today, too much
turkey on the summit, but we will

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power through and have a lot of
fun as we do it, because even

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though it is a holiday week,
it is still a Friday in the tree

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House, which is always something to
smile about, but especially when it's also

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a holiday Friday. So yeah,
I don't want to waste any time.

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Trey. I need to ask you
about a odd text that you sent to

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us the other day. You're a
man who has not had a drop of

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alcohol in seven years. I'm curious
when you my friends send a text that

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says you need to ask me about
my Negroni story. So here I am

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a Dan standing in front of a
tray, asking what is your Negroni story?

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Here is my Negroni story. I
preface this by saying, there are

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two drinks that make people very nervous
to order when they are in mixed company,

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especially around especially if the per since
serving you happens to be black.

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And there it's a Negro Modelo and
a Negroni. Okay, this is where

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I'd love to feign, you know, ignorance and not know why that would

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be such an uncomfortable drink order.
But I'm from the South. I had

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a granny mm hmm. And it's
just especially you know, people are worried

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they're gonna get tongue tied or anything
else, and so they get very nervous

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about it. So as it happens. Uh there, I'm sorry, I'm

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sorry, but serious. If if
you're that worried about a slip of the

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tongue by ordering a Negroni or a
Negro MODELO, then that tells me you've

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been using the other word too much
and you need to stop it. You

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are probably correct, but it is
it's comical to see. Uh. And

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here the white guilt. Yeah.
There was one of the girls who is

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a server where I work is is
black and she was helping this table and

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one of the gentlemen at the table
wanted to order in a groany but he

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simply could not get it out.
He was just stuttering and stuttering and stuttering.

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This. I happened to be standing
close enough where I could kind of

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watch this. So she goes,
I'll tell you what, I'm gonna go

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run this you I you to pick
something up run to another table. I'll

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come back. And she knows as
she's laughing, and she comes to me

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and she's telling me the story,
and I said, I said, here's

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what you do. I go,
if we start studying, and I go

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ask him to spell it and sure. And if you didn't think the guy

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was already nervous enough, oh no, yeah, oh yeah, you better

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make sure you get the right value. Well yeah, yeah, I mean

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you've got five options six if you
throw in the why if you want to,

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you're gonna be pretty liberal about it, and there's only one you really

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want to avoid. He changed his
mind in order to Moscow mule. The

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time at the bar where you got
so flustered by the server of color that

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you'd ordered instead a Moscow mule,
That's where maybe technology could have been this

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guy's friend. Type it into Google, ask Siri, hey, what's in

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a negronie? And maybe then she
would give you the proper spelling, or

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you could pretend that you're from another
country and have series say it for you.

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I mean, there are options you
just unfortunately I have the uh,

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I have the ability to think about
this a little bit more so than this

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guy apparently did. But maybe now
that he's had this unfortunate situation, maybe

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he'll be prepared for the next time
a server of color asks him what he

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would like to order, and he'll
know what to say and hopefully how to

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spell it. All right, My
money would go on, He'll just never

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try to order one of those again. He's just done. There's just no

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more's now, just forever Moscow mule. If he ever wanted a Negro Mandello,

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I would I would guess He'll just
go, Can I have one of

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the dark Medellos please? I'm not
sure that almost sounds worse. You're right,

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it does, now that I said
that out loud. Yeah, these

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are things I've never had to think
about, because I honestly I don't even

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know what's in a NEGRONI I've Negro
Mendella. I know it's beard, good

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Mexican beer. I also love the
regular Medelos campari sweet vermouth and gin.

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It's what is kimpari. It's an
Italian sweet liqueur because it's just red right.

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Yes, yeah, I have I
have long since pasted in my drinking

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anything that looks like a hangover in
a bottle. So if it's got you

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know, a lot of color to
it. I'm very hesitant to try it,

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and if I do, it'll be
in you know, small amounts,

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because again I don't want to.
I don't want to wake up with that

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raging sugar hangover. Yeah, and
that's I couldn't even tell you what.

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It's been so long, I mean
even before I quit drinking. I I

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think I've had kimpari twice in my
life. I want to say it's it's

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fruityish, but I simply I don't
remember and anything any even in my drinking

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days. This is no matter how
short I was on liquor how scarce it

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was. They're, you know,
I in the hierarchy of liquors, Like

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they're at the bottom would be zema, oh, a wine cooler, and

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then Gin. I like it.
You keep Gin at the bottom. Oh,

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it's just no uh uh. I've
never of all the liquors, I've

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never understood people's because I know and
it's a quiet taste and everything else.

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But nah, uh. You know
what, My favorite gins are the ones

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that don't taste like gin. And
there are a couple out there that are

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like that. And that's one of
the crazy selling points to them, is

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they position themselves as it's gin,
but it don't. It doesn't taste like

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gin. So at that point,
while tasty, because it doesn't taste like

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gin, it's pretty much just vodka. Yeah, that's just a clear liquor

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that'll get you drunk. M hmm. I do appreciate, though, Trey,

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that you as someone who was a
professional drinker for many, many years.

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Not just a professional, but in
addition to going pro, you were

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an All star, all part of
the All Madden team. Yet you never

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your depths, never reached so low
as to be desperate enough to hop on

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the Gin wagon. And you also
managed to stay away from, you know,

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the sugar bomb drinks that you mentioned, like the zemas and the and

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the wine coolers. Oh yeah,
no, never, never gin, Never

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anything like that, ay, which
I guess was also a testament the fact

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I was kind of a boy scout, alcoholic, always prepared, you know,

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silly me. I was thinking that
you were well behaved. It's like,

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no, that's just not true,
and then sugary drinks. I the

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worst hangover I ever had drinking was
one day I decided someone said try this,

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and it was It was in the
summer, hot day and it was

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an ace pear apple cider on ice, okay, you know, delicious,

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and I started knocking those back.
Oh I I I really never and I

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was fortunate. I never got the
you know, horrible hangovers or anything else.

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And I mean I might have felt
really bad, but it's not like

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I've stayed in bed for a day
or anything like that. But that I

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you didn't because you had more drinking
to do. Yeah, exactly, But

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I remember that. God, I
remember that headache that was. I was

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like, oh, I will never
touch that stuff again. I'm still kind

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of caught on the uh, the
alcoholic boy scout version of you, Like

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there's so many possibilities there, like
are you are you drinking and starting fires

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with with adult supervision? What are
you? What are your what do your

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badges look like on the vest?
Bottle caps? Ah, it's so obvious

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now, I didn't I realize that. I like how you went. I

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like how you graduated from bottle caps
to chips. How was that? How

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was that not like an AA slogan
from bottle caps to chips? Or is

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it? But you're just not allowed
to talk about it because it's anonymous.

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You know, I'm old enough maybe
if you pull tabs. But you know

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what, back in the day when
when the Scouts first started, that was

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back probably before any serious drinking age
enforcement, so you might have actually had,

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uh, you know, boy Scouts
first, twelve pack badge or boy

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Scouts first. You know, distiller, you got your whiskey badge. No,

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I just always you know, especially
on Saturdays before nine o'clock. I

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always knew had to get your liquor
store, you know, make sure you

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get through through the weekend and otherwise
you'd have to go into the wood and

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start making your own. Yeah,
just like your child. Get out the

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whole Boy Scout manual. It's funny
see, I used the Boy Scout Manual

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to teach me how to tie a
neck tie. You clearly got way more

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use out of yours. You're listening
to the Treehouse. Visit is online at

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00:11:43.240 --> 00:11:52.039
Treehouse on air dot com. This
week at the Dallas Comedy Club in d

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LM. It's Dallas's own Seri raj
I think you guys are all spoiled now,

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all these young beautiful women becoming yoga
instructors. You know. No,

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I'm his name, My name is
Guru Jessica. We're gonna get into downward

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dog. I didn't have that growing
up. I was doing yoga before it

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was popular. You know who I
had old Indian day stringy hair loincloth.

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He was. He was really into
those breeding facial yogus. That's Sri Raj

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This Friday, November twenty fourth at
the Dallas Comedy Club and on Saturday,

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November twenty fifth, it's the Potluck
Stand up Showcase. For tickets, go

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to Dallas Dashcomedy Club dot com.
That's Dallas Dashcomedy Club dot com. Your

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new home for comedy inn DFW is
the Dallas Comedy Club. Funny Happens Here

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Club. Visit us online at Treehouse
on Air dot com. You're in the

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Treehouse, you visit us online at
Treehouse on air dot com. This segment

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00:13:05.159 --> 00:13:09.960
of the Treehouse is brought to you
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Restoration. Give them a coffee or
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DFW. That's eight three three cook
DFW. The website cookdfw dot com and

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00:13:22.879 --> 00:13:30.039
also ded dimension our friends and sponsors
at the Dallas Comedy Club where you can

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see Raj' his friend Suri raj I
believe that's actually double check if that's tonight

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00:13:37.799 --> 00:13:43.480
or if that was tomorrow night at
the Dallas Comedy Club, your new home

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for comedy in North Texas. It
is, in fact the Dallas Comedy Club.

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00:13:48.080 --> 00:13:54.919
Inde Bellum Funny happens here. For
a ticket info go to Dallas Dashcomedy

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00:13:56.000 --> 00:14:01.279
Club dot com. That's Dallas Dash
Comedy Club. Comedy five nights a week

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at the Dallas Comedy Club. Let's
not waste any more time, Tray with

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the stories of negronies and such and
often overlooked boy scout badges. Let's get

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into some birthdays. Today, of
course, is Friday, November twenty fourth,

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twenty twenty three. Birthdays today Sarah
Hyland, who played Hayley on the

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TV show Modern Family. She turns
thirty three today. She is also married

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somewhat recently. The last couple of
years she married a radio guy. Tray,

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did you know this? No,
there's a radio guy named Wells.

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I believe. I want to say
he was on in Nashville for a while.

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He was on the air. He
was an iHeart on air personality.

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I know because he was in our
in our email on the iHeart network.

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So I could have been so he
had a radio gig with iHeart and then

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he did the Bachelor. I guess
in his case, he did the Bachelorette.

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Obviously he did not win, and
he became a fan favorite and eventually

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met Sarah Highland, the actress,
and the two are now married. Yeay,

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Hollywood romance. I would think,
I I would think a man or

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woman, if you you know,
met someone who had been a contestant on

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one of those shows, it would
just even for me. And they could

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be crazy and hot. You just
that's a red flag you can't get past.

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So even you, Trey have limits. It's yes, you want You're

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happy with it with a with a
crazy, hot woman. You want that

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that is that is your kryptonite.
But that's the kryptonite that you seek out.

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However, you don't want the hot, crazy reality show contestant, correct.

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I think that's wise. I think
I think it was wise of you

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to see Flavor Flav's show as a
cautionary tale for yourself. Uh well,

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and as it happens, you know, I I said, I actually dated

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a girl before she went on a
reality show, and it was the same

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reality show that there was a girl
that was interested in Russ was on and

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uh yeah that and after I knew
she was crazy, the one I dated

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and then the one that tried to
date Russ I actually ended up working with

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at one point and yeah, no, uh huh, that's that is that

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is one of the few you know, Aggie reality show that's those are two

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big, you know red flags you
just can't get past. Those are your

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two deal breakers afterwards. Can't cannot
have attended Texas A and M, and

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cannot be a reality show contestant,
especially where you know it's a reality show

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that where relationships are on the line. So your worst nightmare then would be

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a woman who showed any interest in
you that was on an Aggie's Finding Love

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reality show that at that point you
might just be like, yeah, I

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am, I am, I'm I'm
now done. Yeah, I'd rather be

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alone at least watch watch football and
piece other birthdays today. Actress Catherine Heigel,

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she turns forty five, really made
it big on the TV show Gray's

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Anatomy. She had some movies as
well that she did. She also has

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some other TV shows that have not
fared out very well. State of Affairs

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and Doubt. Don't people really I'm
not sure if Doubt was a TV show

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or just what the what her agent
thought of her, Yeah, don't and

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she one of those people really don't
like working with. That is that is

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the Hollywood rumor that keeps following her
around. I believe she even uh was

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asked about that, I think by
Oprah and she's like, no, I

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love people and blah blah blah blah
blah. It's like, man, if

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you're one of the people that you
have to say that there might be a

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problem there, because in Hollywood there
seems to be a lot of smoke,

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Like there seems to be fire where
there's smoke. A lot of times it

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doesn't just come out of nowhere,
you know, Yeah, I mean it's

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and sometimes you like you're not surprised
by I mean, like the I don't

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know why everyone is so shocked in
this the p Diddy lawsuit with some girl

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that you knows h that he was
doing all sorts of bad things. Mm

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hmm. I know. I remember
seeing that headline, you know, Sean

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P. Diddy Coombs or whatever his
current name is slapped with whatever lawsuit and

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then the very next day settled and
led to a lot of speculation of hmm.

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There must have been some things he
really didn't want to have come out.

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Here's a bunch of money in a
non disclosure agreement. Okay, thanks

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bye. Also, I don't know
if you remember this Catherine Heigel. I

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remember the first time I remember knowing
of her existence was a movie back in

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the nineties, so she was also
a child star. There was a movie

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she did. I cannot recall the
name of it, but because I watch

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pretty much anything, I remember seeing
this. She played the teenage daughter of

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Gerard de Pardieu in a movie where
she is young and I think she's like

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sixteen or something, and she's trying
to become a woman, and he is

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of course uncomfortable with it, which
is really uncomfortable for everybody because had it

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not been a movie and it been
real live, he would have been hitting

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on her, speaking of inappropriate things. But I remember that movie because it

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was super controversial because or at least
controversial enough at the time, because she's

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starring in this movie and there's a
scene where she's in a thong swimsuit and

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he's chasing her trying to cover her
up. Whereas by today's standards, I've

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seen parents at the beach photographing the
child in the thong, going oh you

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like great, honey, Yeah,
let's get one for the Graham mm hmm.

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It's such a weird thing to see
parents act as the you know,

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the Instagram photographer. Yeah. I
mean well, I guess in the back

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of their mind they're all going it
works for the Kardashians, man, So

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if that's what they're shooting during the
day. A couple of other birthdays,

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I wanted to mention Colin Haynes,
son of Tom Hanks. He is forty

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six today. He doesn't have the
same level of credits that his dad did

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at the same age, I don't
think, but a really really good actor

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in his own right. Yeah,
no, he is. He what's the

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one that what's the is it?
I guess it's his brother that wants to

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be the rapper or whatever. Yeah, that's Chet, Yeah, Chet,

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which you know, why would first
of all, Tom Hanks, why would

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you name your kid Chet? Yeah? Did you not learn from Weird Science?

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That's a horrible name. Yeah,
they don't make Chets anymore. There's

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a reason why Weird Science. The
movie ruined it. Right, So in

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Tom Hanks's defense, I believe Chet
was born before the movie Weird Science came

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out, and because Chet was the
older brother who got I believe turned into

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it like a big turd, like
a talking turd in that movie. Right,

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So yeah, that pretty much ruined
the name Chet forever. And fortunately

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for Chet and for Tom Hanks,
I think he already had the name before

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the movie came out, but they
didn't change it. Yeah. Still,

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I don't know why you would do
that to your kid. Just name him

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Tom Junior. Yeah, everyone would
be fine with that. It's a good

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name. It's a good, solid
one. Unless Tom knew that, Like

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when the kid came out, He's
like, huhuh, somehow he knew this

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was just gonna be bad. He
and Rito were partying the night Chet was

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conceived. I wonder what that badge
looked like. Also, Stephen Merchant turned

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forty seven. He co created the
British version of the Office with Ricky Gervais,

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but he did not star in it
like Ricky did, so he's not

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as famous, but he has made
and been in a number of other things.

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He's actually he's a really good actor. He's very funny, tall,

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lanky British dude with glasses and blonde
hair, but very funny. Want to

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mention him. Also, Denise Crosby, I forget Trey. Were you big

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on Star Trek the Next Generation?
Oh? Yeah, So she played Tasha

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00:23:11.079 --> 00:23:17.440
Yar briefly on Star Trek the Next
Generation. She also had a role in

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00:23:17.480 --> 00:23:21.039
The Walking Dead as a cannibal.
But I'm gonna focus on how she played

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Tasha Yar on Star Trek the Next
Generation because there is some controversy because she

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did not get She did not make
it to the second season of Star Trek

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the Next Generation, and some believe
that it might be because she appeared nude

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00:23:36.519 --> 00:23:42.599
in Playboy If it was probably around
the same time. Yeah, I can

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see that. Yeah, I remember
she was a security officer and then she

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died and that gave way to Wharf. I feel like there's a wharf joke

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in there with her spread out in
the Playboy as well. I just can't

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00:24:00.279 --> 00:24:03.640
quite land on it now. She
did come back to make some cameo appearances

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00:24:03.640 --> 00:24:15.440
and some storylines, but on Star
Trek or Playboy Big Star Trek. Yeah,

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00:24:15.559 --> 00:24:21.400
she was hot back then, though, mm hm, who do you

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00:24:21.480 --> 00:24:26.519
who do you think would have sold
more issues of Playboy? Denise Crosby or

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00:24:26.559 --> 00:24:44.400
wharf. Michael Dorn's a good looking
man. Oh no, you're listening to

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00:24:44.480 --> 00:24:52.839
the Treehouse. Visit us online that
Treehouse on air dot com. Let's talk

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00:24:52.880 --> 00:24:57.519
to Daniel Cook from COOKDFW Roofing and
Restoration eight three three. Cook df w's

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00:24:57.519 --> 00:25:00.720
the phone number to get your free
roof inspection. The website where you can

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00:25:00.720 --> 00:25:04.960
see all the excellent work that they
do and have done is of course cookedfw

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00:25:06.200 --> 00:25:11.799
dot com. It's we're fresh off
of Thanksgiving, Daniel, and I'm curious,

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00:25:11.279 --> 00:25:15.880
what are or what were your Thanksgiving
staples? What are they each and

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00:25:15.880 --> 00:25:18.240
every year? The things that you
have to have on the table to make

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00:25:18.279 --> 00:25:22.680
Thanksgiving complete. You know, I
hate saying this, but I grew up

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00:25:23.400 --> 00:25:29.599
on that can cranberry sauce. And
Carrie hates it. Okay, Carrie thinks

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00:25:29.599 --> 00:25:33.240
it's the most disgusting thing. It's
like in her in her probably thought thinking

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00:25:33.279 --> 00:25:37.640
it's like spam almost. But to
me, I grew up on that stuff,

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00:25:37.720 --> 00:25:41.160
but the real and I've gotten over
it now because she makes this wonderful

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00:25:41.480 --> 00:25:48.799
cranberry you know, mixture that's all
real cranberries and all kinds of other ingredients,

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00:25:48.799 --> 00:25:51.359
and she spends a lot of time
making it and it tastes fantastic.

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00:25:51.799 --> 00:25:55.000
But it's like ever so often I
get this urge to go get a can

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00:25:55.000 --> 00:25:56.440
of cranberry sauce and open up and
just eat it out of the can,

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00:25:56.599 --> 00:26:00.759
just to say I can still enjoy
it. Is that what you're doing between

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00:26:00.839 --> 00:26:06.880
roof inspections is your your wolfing down
cans of cranberry sauce. Cranberry's are extremely

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00:26:06.880 --> 00:26:10.359
healthy for you. Man keeps you
all nice and cleaned up, and you

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00:26:10.440 --> 00:26:12.720
know it's all worked out. Man, Well, the good news is you

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00:26:12.759 --> 00:26:17.599
and my wife have something in common, and me and your wife have something

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00:26:17.680 --> 00:26:22.160
in common. I do not like
like Carrie the can cranberry sauce, but

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00:26:22.240 --> 00:26:26.519
my wife Tara has to have it. She loves the gelatinous thing that that

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00:26:26.759 --> 00:26:32.240
slops out of the can and still
looks like the inside of the can on

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00:26:32.319 --> 00:26:34.640
the outside. She loves that.
So you two could have your own Thanksgiving

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00:26:34.680 --> 00:26:40.559
table and Carrie and I will have
hours with our regular food on It sounds

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00:26:40.559 --> 00:26:42.880
like a date. I can't wait, all right, be sure and give

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00:26:42.960 --> 00:26:47.880
Daniel Cook from cook DFW Roofing and
Restoration a call for that free roof inspection

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00:26:48.039 --> 00:26:52.359
after he's done eating his can of
cranberry sauce eight three to three cook dfw

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00:26:52.680 --> 00:26:57.440
ORCOKDFW dot com. It's the freehouse. Let's talk to Jacqueline from Brooks Plumbing

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00:26:57.519 --> 00:27:00.200
right now in the treehouse. Their
phone number four any and all of your

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00:27:00.240 --> 00:27:03.200
plumbing once and needs two one to
four thirty six, eight thirty eight thirty

300
00:27:03.240 --> 00:27:07.519
eight. The website Brooks Plumbing,
Texas dot com. Jacqueline. For someone

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00:27:07.599 --> 00:27:11.880
that's that's currently in their house,
what are some good smart upgrades they can

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00:27:11.960 --> 00:27:18.519
make with their plumbing? I think, I mean, I'm trying to think

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00:27:18.559 --> 00:27:21.559
about. I think the number one
thing that I can think of right now

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00:27:21.599 --> 00:27:25.920
would be a floodstop. So,
especially if your water heater is located in

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00:27:25.960 --> 00:27:29.880
your attic, the last thing you
want it to do is burst and you

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00:27:29.960 --> 00:27:33.440
come home and it's just raining in
your house. That have had that happen

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00:27:33.519 --> 00:27:36.079
to many many people, And people
are like, oh, the solution is

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00:27:36.119 --> 00:27:37.920
a tankless water heater. Yeah,
that's definitely an option, but it's very

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00:27:38.039 --> 00:27:41.119
very expensive. But for a couple
hundred dollars, we can put in a

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00:27:41.119 --> 00:27:45.319
floodstop where there's a sensor that sits
underneath your your water heater and if it

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00:27:45.359 --> 00:27:48.880
detects any moisture. It just shuts
it off for you. And what more

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00:27:48.880 --> 00:27:53.039
could you ask for than to have
basically it's like water heater AI, just

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00:27:53.079 --> 00:27:56.319
to have a little robot homie that's
like not here today. And in case

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00:27:56.359 --> 00:27:59.720
it does, or you want to
prevent it from happening, then you give

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00:27:59.799 --> 00:28:03.200
Jim from Brooks Plumbing a call right
now. Two one four three six eight

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00:28:03.240 --> 00:28:08.279
thirty eight thirty eight, or of
course Brooks Plumbing Texas dot com. You're

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00:28:08.400 --> 00:28:15.519
listening to the Treehouse. Visit us
online a treehouse on air dot com.

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00:28:15.559 --> 00:28:22.359
This segment of the Treehouse is brought
to you by Brooks Plumbing for any and

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00:28:22.400 --> 00:28:26.839
all of your plumbing needs, all
our good, good good friends at Brooks

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00:28:26.839 --> 00:28:30.920
Plumbing two one four three six eight
thirty eight thirty eight. That's two one

321
00:28:30.960 --> 00:28:34.279
four three six eight thirty eight thirty
eight, or the website Brooks Plumbing Texas

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00:28:36.640 --> 00:28:40.799
dot com. Trey, what was
it you were saying? I need to

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00:28:40.839 --> 00:28:48.400
google? Oh google Biden birthday cake? Oh is it his birthday recently?

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00:28:48.680 --> 00:28:51.880
I don't think I've seen that.
Yeah, whoever whoever did his cake and

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00:28:52.839 --> 00:28:57.480
at the White House really deserves to
be fired, all right, Hang on,

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00:29:00.480 --> 00:29:14.519
Okay, biden birthday cake and results, Oh, come on, they

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00:29:14.559 --> 00:29:18.759
actually put eighty one candles on that
damn thing. Why would you do that?

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00:29:18.920 --> 00:29:21.720
Just do what everyone else does.
Just buy an eight candle and a

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00:29:21.759 --> 00:29:26.319
one candle and you're done. I
don't know. There was this Joe Biden's

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00:29:26.359 --> 00:29:32.279
birthday cake fire hazards. There was
one still of him and they cut the

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00:29:32.319 --> 00:29:33.799
cake out and they said, it
looks like Biden just opened the Ark of

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00:29:33.839 --> 00:29:44.279
the Covenant because it's so bright.
Yeah, typically it's not. Typically it's

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00:29:44.319 --> 00:29:48.240
not a good idea for any eighty
one year old to be near that amount

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00:29:48.400 --> 00:29:56.839
of fire. No, and like
at fifty you'd be hard pressed to blow

335
00:29:56.880 --> 00:29:59.680
out that many candles that an eighty
one year old not gonna blow out of

336
00:29:59.720 --> 00:30:03.160
it many candles. Why are you
doing that to him? Where they the

337
00:30:03.240 --> 00:30:12.759
joke spark candles? Seriously? Like
the biggest knock on the guy right now

338
00:30:12.880 --> 00:30:17.880
is that he's, you know,
his age, and people are questioning his

339
00:30:18.240 --> 00:30:21.160
you know, can he make it
and everything else, and then you do

340
00:30:21.319 --> 00:30:25.920
that to him. Yeah, let's
let's not throw lung capacity into the categories

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00:30:25.960 --> 00:30:29.680
of concern. Gavin Newsom in the
in the Kitchen baking the cake going.

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00:30:33.000 --> 00:30:36.519
I like this from the Hill Biden
marks one hundred and forty sixth the birthday,

343
00:30:36.559 --> 00:30:44.200
the flowing cake. Oh god,
that is good. Yeah, I'm

344
00:30:44.200 --> 00:30:45.599
with you. I think at a
certain point. I don't even know what

345
00:30:45.599 --> 00:30:48.960
point it is, because you know
me, I'm not a huge birthday guy.

346
00:30:48.279 --> 00:30:52.240
I cannot remember the last birthday I
had that had any candles period.

347
00:30:52.599 --> 00:30:56.200
But I tell you right now,
I am well past the age where I

348
00:30:56.240 --> 00:31:00.359
want a candle for every year I've
been alive. That is long gone.

349
00:31:00.960 --> 00:31:06.960
Yeah, no, nobody wants that. It's uh. I think it was

350
00:31:07.000 --> 00:31:10.440
around my fortieth that I got one
with a bunch of candles, and it

351
00:31:10.519 --> 00:31:14.200
was very depressing. I really don't
want one, damn sure to want one

352
00:31:14.200 --> 00:31:17.559
for my next one. I think
I was there for that when was at

353
00:31:17.559 --> 00:31:19.480
the Fiery Brunch. Yeah, I
think that. No, that was like

354
00:31:19.559 --> 00:31:25.519
thirty eight, but yeah, around
that, Yeah, that was a lot

355
00:31:25.519 --> 00:31:30.519
of candles. That was nothing like. I'm glad to know that you and

356
00:31:30.559 --> 00:31:37.599
I are still in each other's lives
though. Yeah. All right, speaking

357
00:31:37.599 --> 00:31:41.119
of things that you should not do, let's jump into some news. Let's

358
00:31:41.119 --> 00:31:48.839
get stupid as opposed to the last
two segments. Well, this is just

359
00:31:48.839 --> 00:31:56.759
more official stupid because it's actual journalist
getting paid to inform us about things,

360
00:31:56.880 --> 00:32:02.440
right such as this. You know
me, I believe that words are extremely

361
00:32:02.680 --> 00:32:09.279
important. I also think headlines and
the words headlines use are extremely important.

362
00:32:09.279 --> 00:32:14.119
And I have a great example.
Are you ready? H This is the

363
00:32:14.119 --> 00:32:21.839
headline from the messenger dot com.
Okay, Tennessee man arrested for duy and

364
00:32:22.039 --> 00:32:30.279
meth while driving lawnmower Santa's train full
of kids. I understand that headline.

365
00:32:30.440 --> 00:32:35.440
It seems a bit wordy, but
it's but every one of those words is

366
00:32:35.559 --> 00:32:39.799
essential, and I'm going to show
you why. Okay. Another version of

367
00:32:39.839 --> 00:32:49.880
this headline could have been man arrested
for driving lawnmower full of kids, Okay,

368
00:32:50.440 --> 00:32:54.720
which would be bad. Yeah,
because I'm assuming, based on that

369
00:32:54.799 --> 00:33:00.039
headline he's run them over with the
lawnmower. And the other version of this,

370
00:33:00.880 --> 00:33:07.400
which would be possibly worse, man
arrested for pulling a Santa train.

371
00:33:07.680 --> 00:33:15.200
That would have been a very different
news story. Yeah. So once again,

372
00:33:15.559 --> 00:33:22.480
words matter. It was actually a
Tennessee man was arrested after he allegedly

373
00:33:22.559 --> 00:33:30.720
drove children while under the influence at
a Christmas tractor parade last Saturday unfolded in

374
00:33:30.799 --> 00:33:35.720
the small northern Tennessee town of Tazewell. Man. That's the only thing this

375
00:33:35.759 --> 00:33:44.319
story is missing. Yeah, so
the Santa Tractor parade. Yeah, Henry

376
00:33:44.359 --> 00:33:50.519
Mead was driving Santa's Train, which
is a motorized lawnmower, pulling carts of

377
00:33:50.640 --> 00:33:57.160
children, when witnesses alleged that he
was acting erratically. He was reportedly unsteady

378
00:33:57.200 --> 00:34:01.160
on his feet and failed to field
sobriety test. Police found meth, narcotics

379
00:34:01.240 --> 00:34:07.160
and a syringe when they took him
into custody. No, no one thought

380
00:34:07.240 --> 00:34:10.639
that, Joe, Hey, you
hooked a trailer up to your you're riding

381
00:34:10.719 --> 00:34:15.760
law more, come over here,
give me a breath. Blow into this.

382
00:34:15.480 --> 00:34:19.679
Try it's northern Tennessee. I can't
imagine he was the only one that's

383
00:34:19.719 --> 00:34:22.559
true, which is northern Tennessee is
kind of southern Kentucky. So yeah,

384
00:34:22.599 --> 00:34:32.440
that's enough. Also, there's another
one that I uh that gave me pause

385
00:34:35.360 --> 00:34:42.920
to put it nicely, and that
was the guy in Florida who got arrested

386
00:34:42.920 --> 00:34:46.840
for pleasuring himself while riding around on
a bicycle. Because it's it's Florida.

387
00:34:47.039 --> 00:34:51.199
I I didn't know which way it
was going to go. If you know

388
00:34:52.559 --> 00:34:57.599
he was pleasuring himself manually, or
if you know he was getting a prostate

389
00:34:57.679 --> 00:35:01.079
massage. No, that's act a
great that's a great point you bring up

390
00:35:01.079 --> 00:35:06.400
because when you see a headline like, uh, a man pleasuring himself while

391
00:35:06.480 --> 00:35:12.800
riding a bike, to me,
the natural question is did it have a

392
00:35:12.840 --> 00:35:21.039
seat? Yeah, that's exactly and
it's Florida, so you've assume no Disney

393
00:35:21.079 --> 00:35:28.039
part guests are reportedly pooping while waiting
in long line. Jesus and I thought

394
00:35:28.079 --> 00:35:44.599
the lines were bad at six Flags. Oh oh, I don't know if

395
00:35:44.599 --> 00:35:49.320
Disney has it, but six Flags
sells the VIP pass to get you to

396
00:35:49.360 --> 00:35:52.320
the front of the line. Do
that, Oh yeah, yeah, yeah,

397
00:35:52.400 --> 00:35:54.679
fast pass type thing. Yeah,
I know actually, or make a

398
00:35:54.719 --> 00:36:00.599
fast pass to the bathroom. Thanks
for hanging out with us in the Treehouse

399
00:36:00.679 --> 00:36:07.440
Friday edition. We will catch up
with you next week Monday for the next

400
00:36:07.440 --> 00:36:09.280
episode of The Treehouse Podcast. We
will see you then,