July 16, 2025

The Old Maid | Thursday July 17, 2025

Show Notes
Transcript

Do you like to cuss? Yeah... so do we. Also, high stakes UNO and face bugs having bug orgies on your face!

PLUS: Birthdays!!

The Treehouse is a daily DFW based comedy podcast and radio show. Leave your worries outside and join Dan O'Malley, Trey Trenholm, Raj Sharma, and their guests for laughs about current events, stupid news, and the comedy that is their lives. If it's stupid, it's in here.

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LINKS:
UNO Responds to Viral Las Vegas Rumor With Hilarious Message

Surgeon reveals creepy, often overlooked cause of dry eye

How do attitudes to swearing differ in Australia, the UK and the US? | YouGov

WEBVTT

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It is time to leave your worries outside and laugh

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with us inside the treehouse. I'm Dan, O'Malley along with

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Trey Trenholm and Raj Sharma. Today is Thursday, July seventeenth,

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twenty twenty five. It's been a whirlwind past twenty four

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hours because I got some great news and then some

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bad news, and then more clarity. It started out with

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the viral rumor that Uno was coming to Las Vegas,

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and then that got met with some screwed because the

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makers of Uno had to come out and say no, No.

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As exciting as the idea may be to put money

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down on a tense game of Uno in Las Vegas,

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the beloved childhood card game had to deliver some bad news.

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After the initial report that Mattel was going to launch

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the first ever Uno Social Club at the Palms in

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Las Vegas, the excitement snowballed quickly. The Las Vegas Review

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Journal highlighted the initial press release from Mattel regarding the

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Uno Social Club. However, Uno had to make it clear

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that they are that the iconic card game would not

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be making its way to the gambling floor and now

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we're sad because their message in response read in part.

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We hate to be the bearers of bad news, but

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the casino floor isn't ready for us yet. We've been

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told that while they do have tight security, it's not

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robust enough for UNO at this time. That makes me

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sad because I'm one of the weird, random people that

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has never been to Las Vegas. And I'm not saying

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UNO was the thing I was waiting for. I'm just

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saying that that would have been a hell of a

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list on my list of things to do when I

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eventually do make it to Vegas. I think I could

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do pretty well against the House and some UNO. And

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I think that's why Las Vegas isn't even entertaining the

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notion of UNO coming, because they know it would give us,

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the people, a chance to break the bank, and they're

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not going to have it. It's a conspiracy. Why are

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you guys like that?

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I'll try ticket.

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There's a reason why casinos are multi billion dollar companies.

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And it's not because they're about to let gd UNO

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in the house. It's it's it's not a reverse poor. Yeah,

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the house is always going to have that reverse card

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in their and their.

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Never played the game, so I don't even know what.

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I just said you you said enough. Yeah, but it does.

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It does beg the question if you could have a

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childhood game on the casino floor in Las Vegas, what

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would it be? What would be your choice. I'll give

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you guys a moment. I'll give you guys a moment

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to consider your answer. I think Uno would certainly be

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a fun one that would be high on my list

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of games I'd love to see in a casino. I

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would also love to take a run at the house

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with a good old fashioned game of battleship.

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Okay, as an Indian operation, I thought you were gonna

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go with Monopoly.

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I mean we do we have the red roof in.

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I g yeah, I mean those I mean, honestly, those

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games aren't just games in Indian households. You've told me

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this before. They're training guides. Yes, Monopoly, so you can

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build your hotel, motel, empire, and operation. Because if you're

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not doing the other, then you're gonna be a doctor.

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If you buzzed on the side, you were done. I

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remember Neil being the antesthesiologist. I remember him on the

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side and goes and looked at him. I'm like, yeah,

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you're definitely not gonna gonna be a surgeon. That's that's

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that's over.

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But he's still But this is the guy you're talking about.

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He's he's your brother, and he still became an anesthesiologist.

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He's just not allowed to cut on people because he

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failed operation as an Indian child. Yes, okay, got it,

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Just okay, now we're all clear, Trey, what would be

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your board game or childhood game of choice? To hit

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the casino floor?

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Old Maid?

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I can't wait to get on canvas. I'm gonna take

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your head shot and turn you into old Maid. That

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is not the answer any of us would have expected.

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I honestly thought you might have gone purist and said,

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you know what, I'm good with some good old fashioned

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Texas hold them.

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I don't know that's already there.

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Mm hmm.

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Well that's why I'm saying, like you wouldn't even want

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a childhood game. All the one you need is already there,

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Old Maid.

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Really, I mean you you that's I mean, go Fish

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or Old Maid? I was, I was.

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To it.

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No, it does, and I want to see a new

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Ocean's eleven franchise started on the back of Old Maid.

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You are our Danny Ocean the heist kind of writes itself.

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The whole crew dresses like Old Maids hits the casino floor.

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Can we see g I, Miss Garrett, I think you

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have to now who's tod.

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That's facts of Life. I was going to different strokes.

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The trudy appearance slash. Facts of Life is what happens

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after you've lost your ass at Old Maid in Vegas.

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Mm hmm.

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Like Old Maid is on the strip the Facts of

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Life game that's downtown.

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You want to take that?

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The fact facts of Life is what happens after you

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witnessed child trafficking by the old white guy.

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And for clarity and for clarity, we're talking about mister Drummond,

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not any specific political figure whatsoever. Old man.

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You're in the treehouse.

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Visit us online at Treehouseonair dot com.

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Eight three three Cook DFW. That's the phone number you

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need to call Daniel Cook for your free roof inspection

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eight three three Cook DFW and the website cookdfw dot com. Daniel,

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what do you think is a really sexy gift to

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give your significant other?

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It's a combination of thoughts that go through my mind

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when you ask that. So unique locations to make love

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with your wife or significant other. What better place to

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be than on top of your roof looking at the

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moon the stars while making passionate love. But you need

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to make sure your roof is sturdy enough to handle that.

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That's a lot of motion and you'd also have a

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sudden accident falling through your roof.

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That would be terrible.

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Make sure your roof is able to withstand that passion.

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You want to make sure before you attempt this that

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you have a good sturdy roof called Daniel three COOKDFW.

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If you decide not to take that advice and go

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up there and do it anyway and then the two

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of you come crashing through your roof because it was

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not in good shape, then you still need to call

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Daniel to have them come out and fix it. Eight

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three three COOKDFW or the website cookdfw dot com.

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You're listening to the Treehouse, visit us online at Treehouse

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on Air dot com.

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This segment of The Treehouse Show is brought to us

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by COOKDFW Roofing and Restoration. To get your free roof

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inspection and they look around the whole property as well

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and if that's the case, cool, but if not, they'll

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give you the best next steps forward to fix any

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and all issues on your roof and around your home.

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Eight three three COOKDFW. That's eight three three COOKDFW or

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the website cookdfw dot com. This is the tree House Show.

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I'm Dan, He's Trey, that's Raj. This next story has

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really given me the heb gbis for two reasons. Number One,

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certain creepy crawley things just ook me, like the I

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don't know if it's I can never remember if it's

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the centipede or the millipede, the really big ones, the

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fat ones with all the legs, like when they had

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to put the hand through the hole in Temple of

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Doom and those things were crawling all over Kate Capshaw's arm.

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I found one of those in my driveway the other

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day and I'm still not recovered from it. Thankfully it

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was dead, or it's playing a really good game of possum,

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but I'm not gonna mess with it anyway. Certain creepy

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crawley things with too many legs I don't like. And

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the other thing is anything having to do with my

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eyes like Trey when you got contacts recently. I couldn't

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even watch you do anything with those. And Raj likes

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to mess with me with his because he knows that

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I get ooked out by. But get your finger out.

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Stop it, stop it, stop it. So anyway, there's something

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that almost everyone has that might just gross you out.

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Eyelash mites. That mate on your face as you sleep

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could be to blame for your itchy dry eyes. Eyelash

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mights that mate on your face as you sleep. I'm

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never gonna sleep again. Just I'm gonna turn into a

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long haul trucker. I'm just never gonna sleep, never close

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my eyes, and if if I ever have any red itchiness,

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I might just pluck my eyeballs out.

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You know that that was a fact. I could have

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gone my whole life and not known and been just you.

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Yeah, me too. But since I had to know it,

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you have to know it. Eyelash mis eyelash mites. And

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it's not just the fact that they're there. The fact

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that they're on your face while you sleep is in

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all the injury. Like you know, they're talking trash about

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you as they do it.

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Okay, they're doing it on your face.

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Yes, because they live in your eyelashes and they have

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to breed, they have to procreate, which means they're also

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probably birthing in your eyeballs.

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Oh yeah, okay, yeah, I'll give you a little more.

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I'll give you already gave you the solution. You pluck

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your eyeballs out. Or if they only live in your eyelashes,

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then maybe just torture face, like just blink, blink on

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top of a charcoal grill a few times, and then

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maybe that'll get rid of them. Over twenty million Americans

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have dry eye disease, which means that their eyes don't

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produce enough tears, or their tears evaporate too quickly, dry

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air wind, certain autoimmune diseases, medications like antihistamines and decongestions,

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too much screen time, vitamin eight efficiency, and contact lenses

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are often to blame. This is why they say that

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most Americans are going to suffer in one way or

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another from this, because we're all guilty of at least

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one of these things. Doctor Ashley Brissett, a board certified

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ophthalmologist and is surgeon at Kelly Vision in New York City,

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suggests that there's a scarier that there's a scarier, overlooked

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cause of dry eye microscopic pests living in our eyelashes

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and eyebrows, and these eight legged freeloaders are known as

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eyelash mites or demo decks. She says. While they are

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typically harmless and almost everyone has these, an overgrowth of

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these mites, which feed off the bacteria that lives on

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our lashes, can lead to conditions like blepharitis. Why are

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you laughing at me? Leftritis? Oh excuse me, doctor shrman.

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It's the first time I've seen that word blephoritis, which

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causes eyelid inflammation, and this dry eye STIs itchy eyes

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and irritation. Before you get out the raid and make

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things a whole lot worse, she says, this is how

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you combat the eyelash mites. Okay, okay, mm hmmmmmm, she says,

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pluck out your eyeballs. See I told you. Uh No.

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She actually recommends there's a prescription eye drops called x dimvy,

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which can eradicate the mites typically taste, typically taken twice

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a day for six weeks. She also says you need

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to be washing the eyelids daily with an eyelid formulated cleanser.

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This gets rid of the mites as well as the

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bacteria and debris that they feed off of. Or you

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know what, I may just take a page out of

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Trey's book, which is don powerwash everything. Mm hm, I'm

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I'll go that route first before I, you know, try

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to hit my deductible up for a new prescription. I'll

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just you know, don powerwash right in the eyes.

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Or maybe the centipede can eat them off your eyelashes.

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What is wrong with you?

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Yeah?

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I mean, I mean, I bet they like little mites.

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Mm hmm. I mean you have good eyes.

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I do, which is why I want to keep them

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nice and fresh and taken care of. I'm a four

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I'm a forty five year old man with no need

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for corrective vision whatsoever. These are my These are my

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o g eyeballs. Now, you know what, I you know

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what else? I have two of that works good? These

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right here, one for each of you.

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you guys on Sunday. And He's trade that's RAJ. Today

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00:16:01.440 --> 00:16:06.639
is still Thursday, July seventeen, twenty twenty five. Tray, Time

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to put up your dukes. Someone is taking Trey's favorite

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word and running it right through the mud. A new

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survey found thirty nine percent of Americans can't get through

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an average day without swearing at least once. This pole

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00:16:24.720 --> 00:16:29.679
also looked at forty different swear words to see how

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offensive each one is, and number one is the heaviest

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hitter of them all. Trey, would you venture a guess

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that would be it?

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Yes?

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Well done?

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Yet yeah? Yeah? Number one eighty one percent of people

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are offended by the sea word.

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It's had to be an American pole.

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Other countries use it as freely as we use yeah.

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The top five most offensive swear words according to this

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00:17:13.319 --> 00:17:17.440
new poll. At number five, sixty two percent of people

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are offended by the P word. Some might use it

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in reference to a cat, others might use it in

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reference to a body part. Number four sixty five percent

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of people are offended by the F word. Number three

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sixty six percent of people are offended by the B word.

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I am so surprised that bitch is on top of

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F because a lot of people, a lot of people

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use the B word in America the way other countries

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use the C word. Because the B word now is

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really popular among whether it's being used in a friendly

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00:18:03.359 --> 00:18:10.039
manner or in a derogatory one. Number two is possibly

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Sam Samuel L. Jackson's favorite swear. That's mother effort. Seventy

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one percent of people are offended by that, and number

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one is the C word. Eighty one percent of people

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are offended by that word, and Trey, I know it's

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your favorite and there's reason for it. And what I

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think you have I think you have an opportunity here

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to tell eighty one percent of people who are offended

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by your favorite word.

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It has.

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Utility. It's not just a mean word. It's a word

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that has uses in so many ways. Texture.

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Yes, it can be a term of endearment.

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Yes, I was married to an Australia.

292
00:19:00.319 --> 00:19:04.720
Yeah, I got called it daily.

293
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How did she m?

294
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Can you give me an example of how she used

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it in an endearing fashion?

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Rajuh, She'd say, I love you you?

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Oh okay, uh huh.

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00:19:22.039 --> 00:19:25.880
It rolls off especially the Australians. It just rolls off

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their tongue. It makes me so jealous because it just.

300
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Rolls off mine too.

301
00:19:31.240 --> 00:19:34.039
I mean it kind of leaps off mine.

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But yeah, yours is an Olympic diver. Actually, you know what,

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00:19:41.079 --> 00:19:43.200
I take that back. I didn't mean to offend you, Trey.

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When when the C word leaps off your tongue, it's

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not like an Olympic diver. It's like the red Bull

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cliff divers. They can't wait and they're holding go pros.

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You know why because they want to get every buddy's reaction.

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I mean, it really is true that word has serious power.

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And the ironic thing is that word can leap off

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your tongue like a red bull cliff diver, and it

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can also make someone jump off a cliff against.

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It.

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Really is it?

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Now?

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How often do you use it? Me? Yeah?

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Yes, like driving in the carn like, oh, all of it.

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That, all of Luke twelve is just one giant one.

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00:20:44.440 --> 00:20:46.000
Don't never get me on lbj.

319
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Oh the irony.

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You're in the visit us online Trethouse on Air dot com.

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00:21:06.799 --> 00:21:15.759
You're in the Treehouse listit us online at Treehouseonair dot com.

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t R E O N Patreon dot com. Slash Treehouse

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on Air and subscribe to Treehouse Plus. Today. Woo, it

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00:21:48.039 --> 00:21:52.519
is Thursday, and for some reason we've dubbed it the

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00:21:52.599 --> 00:21:55.799
day that we do this. Our newest feature inside the

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Treehouse features our very own trade Turnhome. It is another adition,

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and by another I mean the third edition of Trey's Twatts. Trey,

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00:22:09.359 --> 00:22:10.759
what has you twitching this week?

335
00:22:14.400 --> 00:22:18.200
So I was listening to, uh the show, y'all did

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00:22:18.440 --> 00:22:18.880
I was.

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00:22:18.880 --> 00:22:22.720
Gone, Oh, Monday Show, Monday.

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00:22:22.359 --> 00:22:23.079
Show, and.

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00:22:24.680 --> 00:22:29.440
You the topic came up of what they're calling bank seeing.

340
00:22:30.839 --> 00:22:33.359
Yes, yes, bank seeing. That is true. That is the

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00:22:33.400 --> 00:22:39.880
new dating trend that is leaving people baffled and heartbroken,

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00:22:40.440 --> 00:22:42.680
and they're there, they are calling it. It is the

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new toxic relationship trend taking the romantic world by storm. Banksying.

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So I guess, you know, no surprise.

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00:22:50.920 --> 00:22:54.000
I'll just I'm assuming that's a g This is a

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gen Z thing because they have to.

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00:22:56.119 --> 00:23:01.440
Put a name on every thing. So I'm just gonna

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have their gen Z or the Twats of the year.

349
00:23:04.480 --> 00:23:04.640
Uh.

350
00:23:05.799 --> 00:23:08.680
Yeah, that's just that's what happens when your relationship is dying.

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00:23:09.160 --> 00:23:14.880
Uh you know, you're you withdrawal and uh, you know,

352
00:23:14.960 --> 00:23:16.839
suffer through it and then to the point where then

353
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you just like leave.

354
00:23:19.039 --> 00:23:22.640
Yeah, they define they define bank seeing because it derives

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00:23:22.640 --> 00:23:24.960
its name from the elusive street artist Banksy, known for

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00:23:25.160 --> 00:23:27.960
art that pops up out of nowhere and then usually

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00:23:28.079 --> 00:23:31.279
comes with a cryptic twist, but like a baffling Banksy

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00:23:31.440 --> 00:23:35.759
art piece, banks Seeing in a relationship involves slowly withdrawing

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00:23:35.799 --> 00:23:39.519
emotionally from your partner without telling them that's what you're doing,

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00:23:39.839 --> 00:23:42.000
and when the time comes to finally break up, the

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Banksy err often feels better having mentally checked out of

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the relationship long ago, while the other partner is left

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00:23:47.799 --> 00:23:51.559
blindsided and confused. So, yeah, that's Banksy.

364
00:23:52.480 --> 00:23:56.599
That's called That's how relationships end. A lot of times,

365
00:23:57.000 --> 00:23:58.480
you don't really need a name for it.

366
00:23:59.599 --> 00:24:01.880
That's how most of us just that's just called breaking up.

367
00:24:02.160 --> 00:24:02.920
Yeah, exactly.

368
00:24:04.119 --> 00:24:09.359
It's it's very rare that a relationship ends mutually, like

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00:24:09.480 --> 00:24:13.519
you might end a dating thing mutually early on, when

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00:24:13.559 --> 00:24:15.640
you both realize that you know what, I don't think

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00:24:15.640 --> 00:24:19.640
we're vibing, so you go your separate ways. But when

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00:24:19.680 --> 00:24:22.440
you get into an honest to goodness relationship committed to

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00:24:22.440 --> 00:24:28.640
one another, the standard way that you break up or

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00:24:28.720 --> 00:24:33.160
get dumped is that one of you slowly builds up

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00:24:33.279 --> 00:24:37.920
the pull away and then eventually drops the hammer on

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00:24:37.960 --> 00:24:41.039
the relationship, leaving one side of it. As we said,

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00:24:41.079 --> 00:24:42.720
they're completely blind desided.

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00:24:43.640 --> 00:24:43.880
M h.

379
00:24:45.039 --> 00:24:48.000
And yeah, that's that's just that's that's that's that's just,

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00:24:48.720 --> 00:24:51.519
that's breaking up. Sorry, I'm with you, Trey.

381
00:24:52.039 --> 00:24:52.839
Yeah, I mean that's just.

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00:24:54.839 --> 00:24:59.319
Or And for a lot of people, you you realize

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00:24:59.359 --> 00:25:00.200
it's not gonna work.

384
00:25:00.200 --> 00:25:02.079
But you're too, you know, m hm.

385
00:25:02.240 --> 00:25:05.400
For whatever reason, you don't just completely You should probably

386
00:25:05.440 --> 00:25:09.559
just break up and go your separate way. But yes,

387
00:25:09.599 --> 00:25:14.960
I was uh uh, but instead you you you suffer

388
00:25:15.000 --> 00:25:17.319
through it and slowly it dies, dies inside you, and

389
00:25:17.319 --> 00:25:18.200
then then you leave.

390
00:25:19.000 --> 00:25:20.279
M That's called marriage.

391
00:25:21.640 --> 00:25:27.200
Yeah, actually, yeah, you're right. Bank seeing is just another

392
00:25:27.759 --> 00:25:35.079
name for divorce, wasn't it. Ghosting was Ghosting is when

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00:25:35.079 --> 00:25:38.480
you just you just disappear and there's no more communication whatsoever.

394
00:25:38.559 --> 00:25:41.720
You don't even say we're breaking up. You're just you're gone.

395
00:25:41.799 --> 00:25:42.359
Oh gotcha?

396
00:25:42.440 --> 00:25:42.839

The Old Maid | Thursday July 17, 2025

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