Dec. 9, 2024
The Truth Behind Turtles and Straws | Monday 12.09.24
We start off exposing the big secret...why turtles really have straws in their noses. Then we talk about people hacking your texts, 1st dates and fast food, a Florida teacher does some real Florida s#!t, and why a guy was stuck in a well for three...
We start off exposing the big secret...why turtles really have straws in their noses. Then we talk about people hacking your texts, 1st dates and fast food, a Florida teacher does some real Florida s#!t, and why a guy was stuck in a well for three days. But first, Birthdays!
The Treehouse is a daily DFW based comedy podcast and radio show. Leave your worries outside and join Dan O'Malley, Trey Trenholm, Raj Sharma, and their guests for laughs about current events, stupid news, and the comedy that is their lives. If it's stupid, it's in here.
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It is time to believe your worries outside and life
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with us inside the Treehouse. Today is Monday, December ninth,
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twenty twenty four. I'm Daniel Malley along with Trade Trendholme
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today ready to start this show and this week very
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very strongly. Okay. We find it important to bring you
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not just important stories. Anybody can do that, Oh No,
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we want to make sure we bring you stories that
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mean something to you that you can take in and
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take with you and then share that with others, share
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it with your what's.
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That life lessons? You know, things inspirational.
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Yes, including sometimes life lessons and definitely inspiration. You will
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find inspiration here inside the Treehouse. That's for damn sure.
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Like in the case of a previous story, we told
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you there's been a new wrinkle added to it, Okay,
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So it's important that you know and remember that just
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a couple of months ago we told you about the
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cocaine sharks off the coast of Florida. Well, first came
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the cocaine sharks. Now it's the fentanyl dolphins. So while
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you've got cocaine sharks off the coast of Florida, apparently
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our dear Texas coast now has FENTONYL dolphins that we
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have to be concerned about. I wish I was making
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that up. Yeah, I have a pretty solid idea of
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what a shark on cocaine's gonna act like. And that's terrifying.
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I don't really know but know much about, you know,
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the FENTONYL stuff other than that's just that's what they
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use in you know, anesthesiology.
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Right.
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Yes, it's incredibly I mean it's I'd love to say
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it's the strongest eat drug out there now, but it's not.
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There's something even worse. But the slightest amount can kill you.
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And you know, I knowing a little bit about dolphins,
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I feel like dolphins are horny little bastards. And you know,
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I feel like, now there's an epidemic of dolphins. Are
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something's roofing the dolphins. Who's the dealer? Who is the
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deep blue dealer?
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Now that that is a big question, my friend, the
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deep blue dealer. I like that fentanyl has been detected
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in Texas dolphins. Researchers found pharmaceutical drugs in thirty Gulf
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of Mexico dolphins that they tested, which goes to show
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the FENTONYL crisis in the United States is affecting more
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than just humans. It's not just on our streets, but
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it's in our waters. Researchers at Texas A and M
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Corpus Christie had detected traces of fentanyl in the blubber
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of more than two dozen common bottlenose dolphins in the
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Gulf of Mexico. In a new study titled Pharmaceuticals in
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the Blubber of live, free swimming common bottle nose Dolphins
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Pretty creative title. Researchers analyzed samples from three sites around
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the Gulf of Mexico, including Redfish Bay and Laguna Mandre
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in Texas. Other dolphin tissue samples were collected from the
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Mississippi Sound in twenty thirteen. The study was recently accepted
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by the journal Eye Science. It's not clear how fentanyl
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ended up in the dolphin systems, however, According to a
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professor of marine biology at Texas A and M Corpus
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Christie and principal investigator of this study, she said, pharmaceuticals
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have become emerging micro pollutants globally, with their presence being
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reported in freshwater ecosystems, rivers at oceans worldwide. The thing
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that I worry about is how, right, because the cocaine
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sharks in Florida, we pretty much know how because uh,
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cocaine coming in from other countries via water, just like
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in Bad Boys Too, are getting dumped into the ocean
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at the site of Coastguard, right, mm hmm. Maybe it's
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the same thing with the dolphins here. They're seeing uh,
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you know, the authorities and they're they're and the drug
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smugglers are freaking out. So maybe they're dumping some of
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that fentanyl overboard and it's attracting the dolphins.
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Maybe, yeah, that would be the most likely.
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Or like what was the story last week of the
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the meth onesie. I mean, maybe there's a fentanyl wetsuit
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that people are wearing.
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Maybe maybe, Like at this point, you really can't rule
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anything out. People are doing some weird stuff lately, there's
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no doubt about that. And drugged ub creatures in the ocean,
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or things we don't want people make fun of, like well,
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like people started making fun of not wanting to have
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paper straws. And the reason why, you know, paper straws
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were a thing because environmentalists are saying, look, turtles are
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getting straws in their noses. It's not because they were
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doing cocaine. It's because you know, they were floating around,
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they swam up their damn nose.
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Well you say that, but now maybe maybe the turtles
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are blowing rails.
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You know what, You're right they think at this point,
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we have to consider all options. I mean, you really can't.
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You really can't take anything off the table. A good
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scientist is going to say, we have to consider all
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the variables, right, Yeah, and you said it. I mean,
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you know, turtles doing ray.
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You're listening to the Treehouse.
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Visit us online at Treehouse on Air dot com.
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What's your dealer's name, Leatherback.
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You're in the treehouse.
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Visit us online at Treehouse on Air dot com.
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You can check out Treehouse on Air dot com and
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talk back to us right here inside the treehouse lower
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right hand corner of Treehouse on Air dot com. Click
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on that microphone. Leave us a message and we will
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get it right here deep in the treehouse and maybe
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even share it on the show. It's Treehouse on Air
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dot com and talk back to us right here inside
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the treehouse. This is the tree House. I'm Daniel Malley
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along with Trey Trenholme today, and there's been a big
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alert over the last handful of days from the FBI
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telling us all, whatever you do, stop texting. And that's
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a headline grabber. So I've read a few stories on
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this tray. I'm not sure if you've seen this, but
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I've been curious about it, because what is it. I
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will tell you the FBI is urgently warning iPhone and
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Android users to stop sending texts. There are some exceptions, however,
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Apparently we're undergoing one of the largest intelligence compromises in
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US history. A massive cyber attack on telecommunication companies such
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as AT and T, which is what I use, and
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Verizon has led to officials warning against sending texts. They
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say there's one thing you can do to protect your data, though,
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and that is to use encrypted messages. Now encrypted messages.
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The ways you can do that, from what I've read,
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is you can use What's app. It does auto encryption.
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You don't have to be a hacker or an employee
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at the NSA to encrypt your messages. Apparently the app
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will do that for you. Also, apparently, if you're an
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iPhone user and you're texting another iPhone user, the I
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message texting that is apparently automatically encrypted. But if you are,
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if you are sending a text from your Android to
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an iPhone or an iPhone to an Android, that's regular
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simple texting, and apparently that's bad.
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Okay.
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Two US officials, a senior FBI official who has not
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to be named, and Jeff Green, who said, use my
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name all you want. He's the executive assistant director for
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cybersecurity at the Cybersecurity and Infrastructure Security Agency, which I've
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never heard of until today. He recommended using encrypted message
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apps to those who want to minimize the chances of
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their communications being interrupted. Okay. Speaking to NBC, he said,
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our suggestion that we've told folks internally is not new.
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Encryption is your friend, whether it's on the text messaging
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or if you have the capacity to use encrypted voice communication.
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Even if the adversary is able to intercept the data,
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if it is encrypted, it will make it impossible. So
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who is the adversary? The hacking campaign, which apparently was
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nicknamed salt Typhoon, has managed to infiltrate eight major telecommunication
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and infrastructure firms in the United States. Apparently there's been
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a concentration of it around the Washington, DC area, which
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makes me think, well, they're not coming after me. What
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do I know. I'm in Texas and I think they
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said that this group has ties to China. That was
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another story I saw. So apparently China is once again
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attacking our phones and our networks, trying to find out
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stuff about us, and I don't know what, because when
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I start thinking about this, what's on my phone that
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I'm sending that some enemy of the state is gonna want?
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I mean, I sent my wife the hug sleep sleeve
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from Shark Tank. She sent me a photo of our
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Christmas tree. I sent her a photo of our dog.
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She sent me a photo of the cat. If they
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want to infiltrate the Treehouse group chat, it's basically going
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to be a lot of Spaceball's clips going back and
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forth between me and Trey, and I don't know how
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China is going to weaponize any of that. I'd be
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actually kind of curious to see it. So at the
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end of the day, what are the hackers going to
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see in my text messages other than dog video Christmas stuff?
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There's about thirty videos of a waterfall in the state
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of Washington that I took this summer that I don't
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think are gonna be helpful in invading America. But they're
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on there. What are they going to see? What are
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they gonna get?
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Yeah, I mean pictures of Daisy for me, some work stuff, well,
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wine order.
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I mean, I I'm with you.
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When I hear these things, I'm like, Okay, they can
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look at my stuff. They're gonna just be bored out
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of their mind if they they're coming. You know my direction.
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I know, I kind of look at it this way.
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Instead of locking up all your data, unlock it, go unencrypted.
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You have that little slide piece on your laptop, webcam
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open that bad boy up, leave your phone open all
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the time on the camera setting. Basically, flood the hackers
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with so much bolt they'll never be able to get
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to any thing useful. All they'll be able to do
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is see a bunch of photos of Trey's dog, Daisy.
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They'll see some photos of whippets that my wife has
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sent me. The dogs, not the drugs, Spaceball's clips between
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me and Trey. They won't be able to find any
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usable data in any of that. Basically, everything we do
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and say in the tree House is now a national
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security bullet that we are offering up to the United
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States government to use against hackers. Just send all our
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shows to them. They will never have time. Once they
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try to sift through all of our stupid they will
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give up and say, these people have nothing we want,
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Let's leave them alone.
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I was having this discussion with my stepmom and talking
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about TikTok hang on Okay, and you know, the.
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There's been this big thing of oh.
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China's using TikTok to infiltrate you know, like, what in
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the are they gonna go through? How much crap are
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they willing to go through to think they're going to
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find a nugget of intelligence on TikTok.
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All they're going to see is a bunch of our
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kids lighting themselves on fire. They're going to see that
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girl we talked about the other day showing people shopping
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hacks at Target, which are actually just shoplifting. What else
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is on TikTok recently?
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My algorithm, it's the same as Instagram boobs and animals,
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funny you know, boobs and funny animal you know, heartwarming
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animal stuff, occasional, you know, questionable jokes.
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You know what, This all makes sense because if you
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really want to distract one of our enemies. What can
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you flood them with cute dog content, paige spar nak
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and off color humor.
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We know you can distract an entire North Korean army
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just with porn.
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I think we've got this figured out.
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Yeah, it's like, congratulations, China, you figured out we're really dumb.
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Exactly. We'll just make ourselves so undesirable. They'll just lead
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like those people are.
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Just lead them alone. They can sneak up on us.
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Just uh, you know, distract people with boobs and uh,
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next thing, you know, they're right on the coast.
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How they get there? Oh wait, more boobs.
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Distracted, they just can't do anything. Look. I don't want
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to toot our own horn too much here, but I
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really feel like we've hacked the hackers.
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Yeah that's I mean. And if you are, if you're
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that important, God bless you.
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Well here's the thing. Even our elected officials are all
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distracted by boobs. Yeah, that is, if they're not currently
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boobs themselves.
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Very true.
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You're listening to the Treehouse.
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Visit us online at Treehouse on air dot com.
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You're in the Treehouse.
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Visit us online at Treehouse on Air dot com.
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You can advertise right here inside the Treehouse. Just shoot
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us an email. Treehouse on Air at gmail dot com.
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That's Treehouse on Air at gmail dot com. Sponsorship opportunities
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are available right here inside the Treehouse. This is the Treehouse.
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I'm Dan along with Trey, happy to be here with you.
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Yay Monday. That's okay though, because you're only two full
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weeks away from a holiday break. God knows we all
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could use it, and there's something that might happen over
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the holidays, people looking for things to do now. I
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