Feb. 23, 2026

YouTube Ep 12 | Dear Treehouse | Dogs, Dating, and Boogers

YouTube Ep 12 | Dear Treehouse | Dogs, Dating, and Boogers
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Learn why a vet laughed at a woman, guys hate dating, and a good reason to divorce your husband!

The Treehouse Show is a Dallas based comedy podcast. Leave your worries outside and join Dan O'Malley, Trey Trenholm, Raj Sharma, and their guests for laughs about funny news, viral stories, and hilarious commentary.

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WEBVTT

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It is time to leave your worries outside and laugh

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with us inside the Treehouse. I'm Daniel Mally. He is

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Trey Trendholm. Trey. What do you have on tap for

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us today inside Deer Treehouse?

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Well, we have an exciting episode of Deer Treehouse today

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and I'll right off a few of the of the

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of the topics we've got. Am I the asshole for

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wanting to find a new vet after they laughed at me?

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Is this annoying, outdated a red flag? Or is it

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just me?

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Mm hmm?

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Or I found hundreds of boogers under my husband's gaming chair.

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I've learned a lot over decades of experience, and that

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is always start with the boogers.

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So obviously written by a wife. We're in the middle

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of moving and I I was trying to carry my

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husband's gaming chair through the doorway. I had to tell

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sideways to fit, and that's when I saw it. Underneath

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the seat and all over the bottom were hundreds of

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dried boogers. I'm not even exaggerating. I froze for a

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second and then immediately started gagging. I almost threw up.

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I had no idea he was doing that. I feel

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like I'm married to a five year old. I'm so

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grossed out and honestly just disappointed, embarrassed. I don't even

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know do I confront him, make him clean it, throw

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the whole chair out. I'm beyond disgusted and don't even

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know how to look at him right now.

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I don't blame her. I couldn't look at him when

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you were reading that. Just for the briefest of moments,

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I tried to put myself in her shoes, and I

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immediately regretted it because then I started to feel nauseous

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just thinking about hundreds of boogers underneath that mane.

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And uh, I'm I'm with you, And you know, it's

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just having having worked in the service industry and you know,

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flipping chairs over and seeing the crap, gum, boogers, everything

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people put underneath seats. Yeah, just just the mental image.

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Uh.

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I've read it enough now I can control But when

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I'm in the same boat. When I first read it,

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I was I wanted to throw up.

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And keep in mind, I have a very strong stomach.

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When I was a little kid, I did not, so

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I eventually grew into a strong stomach. I can watch

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blood and guts don't have a problem with that. There

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are certain things, though, that will trigger my sensitive tummy

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and gross body stuff is one of them. Two Girls

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One Cup could not get through it not wasn't even

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was not going to happen, and will not try. That's

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just that's not going to happen. So you mentioned the

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boogers to me, that's up there, like one booger, two booger.

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Maybe that's okay, But when you have a collection, like

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when you have a hive of boogers, well, I no,

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I can't do it.

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I you want to talk about a Pavlovian response. I

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can't hear the music that starts out the Two Girls

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one cut video without throwing up, Like I mean it

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literally it induced start.

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Yeah, like you start to feel it in your jowls

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and your your body starts to lubricate, the the the

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vomit luge.

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I no, uh huh that that. Yeah, I'm I'm with you.

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I I can withstand a lot there. They're very few

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things that make me queasy, but and it's stuff like that.

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It's the yeah, bodily shit.

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Yeah, that'll do it to me every single time. Yeah,

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that is disgusting. I don't know how she looks at

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him at all ever, again with any sort of love affection.

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Forget sexual attraction, I just mean just general love and

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affection and just want to I don't know how she

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could be in the same room with this guy. I

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don't know how she completes the move. And here's the thing.

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This is a horrible trap. This is a horrible position

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for her to be in. She is, you know, typically

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you would say stuck between a rock and a hard place,

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but in this case, it's between you know, a rock

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and a booger wall. And there is no win here

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because if she confronts him, then that'll, you know, there

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will be repercussions for it. Right. If she doesn't, there's

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I mean, damage has already been done on her, Like

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she's already disgusted. So if she confronts him, he might

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get defensive. He might deny that's not mine, that's the dog,

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or that's the kid, or those aren't mine. If he's smart,

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he should say those are not mine. I am just

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as I am, just as disgusted as you are.

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Baby.

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Yes, that is his only way out of this, That

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is the only way he has to deny it. Because

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in her post you read they were dried boogers. So

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his only hope is that she does not submit those

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boogers for DNA testing. He just needs to deny that

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those are his and pretend to be just as disgusted.

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And on a separate note, he should be disgusted. That's nasty.

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If you're a real man, you pick your booger and

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you flick it across the room into a land that

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it disappears and you never see it again. That's how

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you do that. Or you wipe it on somebody else's stuff,

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not yours.

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Or you know, a paper towel, Kleenex.

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Just I've thank you for pointing out that I didn't

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start there.

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You know, now we know the burden has.

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That's not mine. Also, what's that on your shirt? Baby?

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I I you're not wrong if he has a plausible

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excuse a kid, that he inherited the chair from a buddy,

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it was used. But if that chair, you know, if

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he bought that since they've moved in, if they don't

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have kids.

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Then someone's been breaking in and using that chair as

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a booger colony. He still has to commit to it.

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That's not mine, that it came that way. It's a

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manufacturer's defect, a little sticker person that said inspected by

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G twenty two or whatever. That person was a liar.

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They were, they were they were about to get me, baby.

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I mean, but it isn't you Also he thought this

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one through and knowing they're moving, knowing someone you know

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this is it's like clear, it's like clearing the cash

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out and your browsing history, if someone at a computer.

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You need to think about these things because.

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Yeah, what and if you're so when your girlfriend asked sorry, yeah,

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when your girlfriend asked, hey can I can I can

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I look at your phone? Real quick?

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Yeah?

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Sure, hang on a second, here you go, no problem.

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Yeah, just give it five more minutes for the factory

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reset to you know, go through.

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Oh you asked me right at the worst possible time, baby,

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hang on, It'll just be a minute. I'll get it

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to you. No problem. And you're right though, you know

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you're about to move. And if you're so into gaming

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that you've got a specific gaming chair and that you

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put boogers and you're doing it so much that you

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have a booger seat underneath it, then you need to

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know that she should never find that, and that is

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your responsibility to move it. So she's so she never

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discovers it. It's kind of like me with my equipment

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that we do the show. My wife knows that I

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moved this, not because I've got boogers wiped all over,

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but because I have a way that I like to

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organize it and roll cables and stuff, so it's organized

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in my you know, disheveled brain. And so she's like, yeah, okay, dude,

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that's my thing. That should be his approach to his

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gaming equipment with the booger collection under the gaming chair. Baby,

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I'll move this stuff. You don't worry about it. That way,

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this never becomes an issue and she never has to

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know how completely horrendously disgusting he is.

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And but and what may even be a bigger problem

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for her is he may be so disgusting that he

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has forgotten he does it. It's just he didn't even

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think about it. He just picks and wipes him on

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the bottom of the chair without even thinking about it.

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And that's what a filthy pig she's married to. And

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she probably doesn't need to leave him.

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Yeah, I don't really think she can come back from this.

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And by she, I mean he, because I mean any

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sort of like when you look at your significant other,

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your person, your partner, ideally, you look at them and

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it's you know, the clouds part the sun shines and

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angels sing on high. This is the love of your

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life that's gone now forever in this relationship, are you.

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Know any sweet maybe romantic moments. Look, honey, I bake

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this here, try it. Dips his finger in.

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Mm hmmm, God, no.

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Minute, he sticks a hand down the panties.

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Nope, nope, nope. For their relationship sake. I hope she's

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taller than he is, because otherwise every time she looks

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up at him and all she sees is right up

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that schnaz. That's all she's gonna remember, is the booger

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colony underneath his gaming chair.

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Yeah, Or every time he points he she's just gonna

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envision a giant booger on the end of his finger. Yeah,

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because there might be. Yeah, you'll probably leave them.

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It's kind of like in a Terminator two when the

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liquid terminator could do his finger and extends out. That's

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what she's going to see into her mind, except it's

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going to be a big green blob. Yeah, So just write,

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just write the dear John Letter, put it on the

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mantle and you're already moving, So just move to a

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slightly a.

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Judge and a jury will understand.

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Yeah, you'll get everything you want, which obviously you're not

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gonna want that chair, and you may want to take

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you know, do a once over on everything before you

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decide to take it or not, but that would probably

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be in your best interest.

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Yeah, and probably don't look at anything else he's been

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sitting in because God.

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All right, And also, real quick last bit on this.

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If you find a stash of boogers like that underneath

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your husband's gaming chair, that can't be the first sign

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of a disgusting husband. There have to be other signs

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and you just chose to ignore them.

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I mean, and that is probably true. And you know

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we both God knows women will overlook a lot of

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our crap.

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But and thank God for you. Yeah, but if my

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wife discovered a hidden you know, booger place, I'd understand

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that she leaves.

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Yeah, So all right, Next up, is this annoying, outdated

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a red flag or is it just me? I recently

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went on a date with a guy who insisted on

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walking me home afterward. The moment we started moving. He

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kept trying to position himself on the outside of the sidewalk,

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the old protect the woman from traffic. Move at the

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end of the walk, I told him he could leave

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me at the end of my street instead of walking

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me to my door. I heard him mutter something like,

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I guess the end of the street is safe, which

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only added to the weirdness. It really struck me how

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often this still happens. It does not feel like caring

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to me. It feels like performative, outdated, and a bit controlling,

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Like he's like he's acting out of script, instead of

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just walking beside me and treating me like a normal person.

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I've been single for a few years and my ex

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never worried about my safety like this.

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You really don't need to continue. If there's any more

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to this, I have everything I need.

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Edit. My last two relationships have been with women.

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Oh that's not okay, Come on, all right, there's a

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lot more to unpack here that I've bargained for. First off,

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these two are on such different pages in different books entirely,

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not even in the same series of books. Right, She's

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in like one genre of and he's in a completely

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different section. And they're on two different pages. On top

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of all that, this relationship will not work. If on

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a simple early date in a relationship she doesn't like

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the fact that he's trying to be protective, the relationship

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will never work because if you can't appreciate that, then

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then he is not for you. And from his side,

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if she can't appreciate that, she's not for him. And

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I will say this, I give her credit for noticing it,

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because a lot of women don't and a lot of

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men don't know that is supposed to be a chivalrous thing.

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That is old, old school to walk on the side

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of your significant other, putting yourself in between them and traffic,

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and most people don't even notice it.

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No, no, And that's but I guess it lends itself

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to the fact that everything is people are so cynical,

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and whether it is I don't know, performative or whatnot,

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it's still him trying to do what a lot of

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us is the right thing. You walk a woman to

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the door, you hold a door open, you do everything else.

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You know. I don't think that's in any way trying

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to be controlling or anything else. It simply is a

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nice gesture and the date may have been horrible.

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This is the type of woman that would be of sorry, uh,

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this is the type of woman that would be offended

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if a stranger holds a door open for her.

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Yes, absolutely, uh and and is trying to read sexism

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and everything else too. Again, it was just it's just

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manners in my book of that's how and maybe it

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is maybe it is specific to our age. I don't

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know that gen Z was ever really taught this. I

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but for us millennials gen X above boomers, we were

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all taught. You know, you hold the door open for

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a woman, You walk her, you know, to the door,

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make sure she got home safe, everything else. And that's

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something ye I do with friends or anything else. You know,

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It's not just someone a romantic deal. It's something you

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just do in general. Yeah.

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I mean we've been friends for over twenty years and

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you've held doors open for me. I thought it was

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weird when you slap my butt as I went through it,

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but you know I appreciated the gesture.

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Well, that would be a whole nother episode, Dan, why

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I slap your ass?

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But yeah, if she doesn't, if she if she doesn't

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appreciate it, then this relationship is already not going to work,

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so it's kind of like, if that little bit bothered you,

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there's going to be a whole host of other issues

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that would probably stem from it that you're really gonna hate.

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So just you know what, be glad he let you

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go at the end of the street. Not that he

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needed to let you go, but just let the relationship

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die right there on the end of your street, because

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that's that's probably for the best for both of you,

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and I hope he recognizes that. And then Jettison's on

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his own right.

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Well, I would almost be willing to bet, and you're

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right about everything he said. I'd almost be willing to

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bet that. At the same time, had something happened to

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her and she got mugged or anything else, she'd be like, well,

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we should have walked me home.

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M Also, he shouldn't have mugged me. Yeah, told you

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it wasn't safe, all right.

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And the last one, am I the asshole for wanting

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to find a new vet after they laughed at me?

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Usually when people ask am I the asshole? It's usually it.

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Statistically speaking, it's usually a yes, because I feel like

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if you feel the need to ask, it than you

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probably are not in this case.

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Yeah, this one's so. I am a thirty five female

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and I have always owned female dogs. I recently adopted

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a male dog from a local shelter. I fell in

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love with him the first time I saw him. They

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told me he had just been neutered and it takes

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some time for the hormones to get out of their system.

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So when he started humping some of his stuffed animals,

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I figured it was just part of the process.

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Hm.

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Well, the other day I looked over and his pink

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thingy was hauled the way out. It really does look

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like lipstick.

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The rumors are true.

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I felt embarrassed for both of us, so I just

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looked away.

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Why do you feel embars for the dog? The dog

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has no shame. That dog does not care. If that

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dog cared, it might not have done it.

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So I looked back ten minutes later and it was

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still there. Came concerned and called my vet. It was

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a Saturday morning, so I wanted to make sure I

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could get him in if I needed to. When I

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told him my predicament, I could tell. The woman at

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the clinic was trying not to laugh as she said

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she would go ask a vet. After a few minutes

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on hold, she came back and told me that if

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it doesn't go down, try putting some frozen peas on it. No,

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or get some lube and squirt it on his thingy,

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because it will help it go back in.

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So don't do that. No.

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Oh. As she's telling me this, I hear multiple people

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laughing in the background.

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So that's why she's upset.

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Uh huh.

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Have a sense of humored, lady, I go back, I

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staying corrected. I should have stayed with my statistical theory

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in this case. You're you're overreacting. You're a little bit

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of the a hole here. I mean, have a sense

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of humor. It's okay, it's a boy dog. That thing's

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gonna come out. Sometimes it's gonna happen. Sorry, that's just

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that is nature. That is biology. And honestly, if you

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were living with a guy, same thing's gonna happen. So

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maybe just get used to it.

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I mean, sometimes you have to step away from the situation.

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I can relate that that if she it's her first

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time having a male dog, and she's probably embarrassed to

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ask such a question. And but at the same time,

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if you're on the other end and you're at a

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vet clinic and you deal with the stupidity that with

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Sometimes you just gotta laugh at the funny stuff. And

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you know, I would be on the flo. I would

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be on the floor laughing if someone you know, called

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me up and go, how do I get my dog's

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pink thingy to go back in?

345
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Well, there are a couple of ways. You are right

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on on the on the vet side of things. You

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really need to enjoy the good moments because you're talking

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about a job and an environment that has a lot

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of sad ones. So enjoy enjoy the comical moments when

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they come pardon the pun.

351
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And.

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No, yeah, you don't. You know what. I would actually

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prefer to go to a vet and a vet's office

354
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that has a sense of humor about it, because I

355
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have a sense of humor about a lot of things.

356
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And if you do too, we are gonna vibe. We

357
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are gonna get along just fine. This is just a

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learning process, you know. Like she said, she's only had

359
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girl dogs. Now she got a boy dog, and boy

360
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dogs gonna do boy boy things. I don't recommend the

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loop deal at all. I do wonder like she followed

362
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the Sialis and blue pill commercial advice when they tell

363
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you if an erection lasts for more than four hours,

364
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contact your physician. Or was he on the end of

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the couch like legs spread, looking down at it, looking

366
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at her, going eh, I.

367
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Think he was just lounging in a bathtub.

368
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Covered in bubbles head to toe except for right there. Yeah,

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the dog. The dog may have had a bit of

370
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a bit of a problem there. But like the doctors

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told you that some of these things might pop up.

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I'm glad that she called the vet just to check

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to make sure. And it's okay to have a sense

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of humor with some things. They're not laughing at you completely,

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I mean just a little bit. They're just they're laughing

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this situation. It's okay, it's not a big deal. Lighten up, Francis,

377
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and hope you have some peas. And you better hope

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that he's not into cold stuff.

379
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Oh that's spot.

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For all things Treehouse. Hit our website Treehouse on air

381
00:22:22.559 --> 00:22:24.559
dot com. You can also check out The Tree host

382
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383
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next time, right here inside the Treehouse