Feb. 23, 2026
YouTube Ep 12 | Dear Treehouse | Dogs, Dating, and Boogers

Learn why a vet laughed at a woman, guys hate dating, and a good reason to divorce your husband!
The Treehouse Show is a Dallas based comedy podcast. Leave your worries outside and join Dan O'Malley, Trey Trenholm, Raj Sharma, and their guests for laughs about funny news, viral stories, and hilarious commentary.
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WEBVTT
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It is time to leave your worries outside and laugh
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with us inside the Treehouse. I'm Daniel Mally. He is
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Trey Trendholm. Trey. What do you have on tap for
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us today inside Deer Treehouse?
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Well, we have an exciting episode of Deer Treehouse today
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and I'll right off a few of the of the
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of the topics we've got. Am I the asshole for
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wanting to find a new vet after they laughed at me?
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Is this annoying, outdated a red flag? Or is it
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just me?
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Mm hmm?
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Or I found hundreds of boogers under my husband's gaming chair.
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I've learned a lot over decades of experience, and that
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is always start with the boogers.
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So obviously written by a wife. We're in the middle
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of moving and I I was trying to carry my
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husband's gaming chair through the doorway. I had to tell
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sideways to fit, and that's when I saw it. Underneath
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the seat and all over the bottom were hundreds of
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dried boogers. I'm not even exaggerating. I froze for a
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second and then immediately started gagging. I almost threw up.
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I had no idea he was doing that. I feel
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like I'm married to a five year old. I'm so
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grossed out and honestly just disappointed, embarrassed. I don't even
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know do I confront him, make him clean it, throw
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the whole chair out. I'm beyond disgusted and don't even
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know how to look at him right now.
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I don't blame her. I couldn't look at him when
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you were reading that. Just for the briefest of moments,
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I tried to put myself in her shoes, and I
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immediately regretted it because then I started to feel nauseous
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just thinking about hundreds of boogers underneath that mane.
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And uh, I'm I'm with you, And you know, it's
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just having having worked in the service industry and you know,
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flipping chairs over and seeing the crap, gum, boogers, everything
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people put underneath seats. Yeah, just just the mental image.
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Uh.
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I've read it enough now I can control But when
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I'm in the same boat. When I first read it,
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I was I wanted to throw up.
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And keep in mind, I have a very strong stomach.
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When I was a little kid, I did not, so
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I eventually grew into a strong stomach. I can watch
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blood and guts don't have a problem with that. There
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are certain things, though, that will trigger my sensitive tummy
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and gross body stuff is one of them. Two Girls
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One Cup could not get through it not wasn't even
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was not going to happen, and will not try. That's
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just that's not going to happen. So you mentioned the
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boogers to me, that's up there, like one booger, two booger.
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Maybe that's okay, But when you have a collection, like
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when you have a hive of boogers, well, I no,
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I can't do it.
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I you want to talk about a Pavlovian response. I
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can't hear the music that starts out the Two Girls
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one cut video without throwing up, Like I mean it
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literally it induced start.
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Yeah, like you start to feel it in your jowls
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and your your body starts to lubricate, the the the
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vomit luge.
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I no, uh huh that that. Yeah, I'm I'm with you.
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I I can withstand a lot there. They're very few
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things that make me queasy, but and it's stuff like that.
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It's the yeah, bodily shit.
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Yeah, that'll do it to me every single time. Yeah,
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that is disgusting. I don't know how she looks at
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him at all ever, again with any sort of love affection.
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Forget sexual attraction, I just mean just general love and
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affection and just want to I don't know how she
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could be in the same room with this guy. I
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don't know how she completes the move. And here's the thing.
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This is a horrible trap. This is a horrible position
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for her to be in. She is, you know, typically
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you would say stuck between a rock and a hard place,
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but in this case, it's between you know, a rock
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and a booger wall. And there is no win here
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because if she confronts him, then that'll, you know, there
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will be repercussions for it. Right. If she doesn't, there's
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I mean, damage has already been done on her, Like
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she's already disgusted. So if she confronts him, he might
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get defensive. He might deny that's not mine, that's the dog,
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or that's the kid, or those aren't mine. If he's smart,
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he should say those are not mine. I am just
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as I am, just as disgusted as you are.
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Baby.
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Yes, that is his only way out of this, That
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is the only way he has to deny it. Because
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in her post you read they were dried boogers. So
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his only hope is that she does not submit those
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boogers for DNA testing. He just needs to deny that
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those are his and pretend to be just as disgusted.
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And on a separate note, he should be disgusted. That's nasty.
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If you're a real man, you pick your booger and
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you flick it across the room into a land that
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it disappears and you never see it again. That's how
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you do that. Or you wipe it on somebody else's stuff,
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not yours.
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Or you know, a paper towel, Kleenex.
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Just I've thank you for pointing out that I didn't
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start there.
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You know, now we know the burden has.
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That's not mine. Also, what's that on your shirt? Baby?
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I I you're not wrong if he has a plausible
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excuse a kid, that he inherited the chair from a buddy,
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it was used. But if that chair, you know, if
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he bought that since they've moved in, if they don't
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have kids.
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Then someone's been breaking in and using that chair as
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a booger colony. He still has to commit to it.
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That's not mine, that it came that way. It's a
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manufacturer's defect, a little sticker person that said inspected by
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G twenty two or whatever. That person was a liar.
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They were, they were they were about to get me, baby.
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I mean, but it isn't you Also he thought this
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one through and knowing they're moving, knowing someone you know
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this is it's like clear, it's like clearing the cash
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out and your browsing history, if someone at a computer.
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You need to think about these things because.
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Yeah, what and if you're so when your girlfriend asked sorry, yeah,
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when your girlfriend asked, hey can I can I can
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I look at your phone? Real quick?
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Yeah?
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Sure, hang on a second, here you go, no problem.
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Yeah, just give it five more minutes for the factory
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reset to you know, go through.
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Oh you asked me right at the worst possible time, baby,
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hang on, It'll just be a minute. I'll get it
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to you. No problem. And you're right though, you know
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you're about to move. And if you're so into gaming
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that you've got a specific gaming chair and that you
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put boogers and you're doing it so much that you
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have a booger seat underneath it, then you need to
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know that she should never find that, and that is
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your responsibility to move it. So she's so she never
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discovers it. It's kind of like me with my equipment
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that we do the show. My wife knows that I
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moved this, not because I've got boogers wiped all over,
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but because I have a way that I like to
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organize it and roll cables and stuff, so it's organized
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in my you know, disheveled brain. And so she's like, yeah, okay, dude,
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that's my thing. That should be his approach to his
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gaming equipment with the booger collection under the gaming chair. Baby,
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I'll move this stuff. You don't worry about it. That way,
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this never becomes an issue and she never has to
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know how completely horrendously disgusting he is.
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And but and what may even be a bigger problem
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for her is he may be so disgusting that he
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has forgotten he does it. It's just he didn't even
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think about it. He just picks and wipes him on
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the bottom of the chair without even thinking about it.
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And that's what a filthy pig she's married to. And
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she probably doesn't need to leave him.
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Yeah, I don't really think she can come back from this.
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And by she, I mean he, because I mean any
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sort of like when you look at your significant other,
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your person, your partner, ideally, you look at them and
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it's you know, the clouds part the sun shines and
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angels sing on high. This is the love of your
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life that's gone now forever in this relationship, are you.
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Know any sweet maybe romantic moments. Look, honey, I bake
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this here, try it. Dips his finger in.
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Mm hmmm, God, no.
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Minute, he sticks a hand down the panties.
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Nope, nope, nope. For their relationship sake. I hope she's
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taller than he is, because otherwise every time she looks
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up at him and all she sees is right up
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that schnaz. That's all she's gonna remember, is the booger
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colony underneath his gaming chair.
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Yeah, Or every time he points he she's just gonna
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envision a giant booger on the end of his finger. Yeah,
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because there might be. Yeah, you'll probably leave them.
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It's kind of like in a Terminator two when the
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liquid terminator could do his finger and extends out. That's
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what she's going to see into her mind, except it's
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going to be a big green blob. Yeah, So just write,
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just write the dear John Letter, put it on the
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mantle and you're already moving, So just move to a
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slightly a.
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Judge and a jury will understand.
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Yeah, you'll get everything you want, which obviously you're not
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gonna want that chair, and you may want to take
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you know, do a once over on everything before you
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decide to take it or not, but that would probably
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be in your best interest.
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Yeah, and probably don't look at anything else he's been
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sitting in because God.
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All right, And also, real quick last bit on this.
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If you find a stash of boogers like that underneath
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your husband's gaming chair, that can't be the first sign
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of a disgusting husband. There have to be other signs
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and you just chose to ignore them.
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I mean, and that is probably true. And you know
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we both God knows women will overlook a lot of
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our crap.
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But and thank God for you. Yeah, but if my
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wife discovered a hidden you know, booger place, I'd understand
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that she leaves.
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Yeah, So all right, Next up, is this annoying, outdated
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a red flag or is it just me? I recently
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went on a date with a guy who insisted on
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walking me home afterward. The moment we started moving. He
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kept trying to position himself on the outside of the sidewalk,
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the old protect the woman from traffic. Move at the
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end of the walk, I told him he could leave
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me at the end of my street instead of walking
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me to my door. I heard him mutter something like,
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I guess the end of the street is safe, which
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only added to the weirdness. It really struck me how
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often this still happens. It does not feel like caring
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to me. It feels like performative, outdated, and a bit controlling,
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Like he's like he's acting out of script, instead of
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just walking beside me and treating me like a normal person.
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I've been single for a few years and my ex
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never worried about my safety like this.
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You really don't need to continue. If there's any more
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to this, I have everything I need.
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Edit. My last two relationships have been with women.
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Oh that's not okay, Come on, all right, there's a
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lot more to unpack here that I've bargained for. First off,
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these two are on such different pages in different books entirely,
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not even in the same series of books. Right, She's
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in like one genre of and he's in a completely
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different section. And they're on two different pages. On top
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of all that, this relationship will not work. If on
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a simple early date in a relationship she doesn't like
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the fact that he's trying to be protective, the relationship
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will never work because if you can't appreciate that, then
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then he is not for you. And from his side,
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if she can't appreciate that, she's not for him. And
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I will say this, I give her credit for noticing it,
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because a lot of women don't and a lot of
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men don't know that is supposed to be a chivalrous thing.
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That is old, old school to walk on the side
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of your significant other, putting yourself in between them and traffic,
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and most people don't even notice it.
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No, no, And that's but I guess it lends itself
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to the fact that everything is people are so cynical,
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and whether it is I don't know, performative or whatnot,
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it's still him trying to do what a lot of
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