March 23, 2026

YouTube Ep 16 | Dear Treehouse | Unforgivable People Who Left You

YouTube Ep 16 | Dear Treehouse | Unforgivable People Who Left You
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Today we ask the question if you need to forgive someone who is dying but left you at the alter and can you forgive someone who sorts their socks by left and right foot? 

Leave your worries outside and join Dan O'Malley, Trey Trenholm, and their hilarious guests for laughs about funny news and viral stories with ridiculous commentary inside the Treehouse Show. 

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It is time to leave your worries outside and laugh

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with us inside the treehouse. I'm Dan, O'Malley and he

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is Trey Trendholm. Trey, what do you have in store

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for us today? Oh?

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You know, Daniel, some thought provoking questions regarding relationships and such.

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But first, Happy.

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New Year, Happy New Year to you, Thank you?

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How is your How was your New Year's Eve?

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We did not make it to midnight, and I'm okay

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with that. I am at the age now where that's

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totally fine. And it wasn't even played for us to

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make it to midnight. Our favorite restaurant had an opening

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for two at five point thirty in the afternoon, and

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we said that sounds good. So we did that and

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we were in bed before ten, so it went very

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very well.

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How about you?

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I made it to midnight, Brandy barely did. I kind

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of had a nudge rope awake, but we had a

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lovely you know. We went to the Stars game. They

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did not did not play well, but it was still fun.

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And then I made a big batch of chili and

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we were home I probably ten thirty and and thank god,

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because then I saw the videos of downtown Dallas. I

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had forgotten that people just park on the interstates and

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everything to watch the fireworks, which in the videos I saw,

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Bravo Dallas, they did it one hell of a fireworks show.

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Yeah, they've really gone balls out.

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Well, and the drones that everyone is using now really

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makes it all the more impressive.

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I had this thought the other day. So there was

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this crazy drone show in Las Vegas, coinciding with the

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finale of Stranger Things, and I couldn't help but think,

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just imagine if you could go back in time with

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just the drone show for Stranger Things and put that

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in the skies over a small town in the United

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States circa nineteen eighty five, get people's reactions, Oh my god,

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especially because one of these scenes in the drone show

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is sort of that red void portal that's opening up

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with Vecna coming through and this is all drones and

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I'm getting chills just thinking about it. But then I'm

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just imagining what that would look like over a typical

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Midwest town in nineteen eighty five, with no knowledge of

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drones or anything.

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People would lose their goddamn minds.

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Oh it would be I mean, podium, you know, I

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remember when when Reagan, you know, had that Hot Mike episode,

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you know, because the presidents used to do a weekly

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radio address.

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Uh and you know, I forgot.

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Exactly what he said a basis said that, you know,

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the Soviets are attacking where it wore something like that,

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and you know people flipped out. Uh so, yeah, if

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you put actual something they could see. Oh and again

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hard to imagine for most people that you're going to

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a time where there was no internet, you had three

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television stations and yeah, people would wig the fuck out.

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Yeah.

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And and in your homes, your standard homes, you were

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lucky if you got a couple of UHF channels.

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Forget cable the other I mean, cable was barely a thing,

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especially if you're in rural you know, in the country,

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your best option. Hell, they didn't get cable most places

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till in the two thousands. I mean you either had

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you had one of the in the eighties, you had

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one of those gig gigantic you know, eight foot satellite

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dishes that you needed a doctorate to you know, figure

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out how to use because you actually had to know

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you know, the different angles and where satellites were and

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everything else. Then you know, direct TV came along.

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Yeah, yeah, those are the white monoliths of the country side.

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Uh.

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And I think you and I know about that all

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too well, because while we mainly grew up in the

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Dallas area, we both spent a good chunks. We both

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spent good chunks of our childhood in rural areas. You Leonard, Texas,

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me technically in between two rural towns, so like I

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was in between Bartlesville, Oklahoma and no Wada, Oklahoma. So yeah,

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if you showed that in the sky over over, oh

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god it no, everyone would have freaked out and it

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would have been uh, like I said, it would have.

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It definitely would have been pandemonium, which is part of

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the reason why I wish I could go back in

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time with that drone.

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Joke and do it, just to see the havoc that

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it would cause.

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And by the way, I I have not Have you

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seen the final episode of Stranger Things? Oh yeah, okay,

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I have not watched it yet, so no spoilers.

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Really, Tara Trey hasn't seen the finale yet A Stranger Things,

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oh you just got the she just did the face

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so well.

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Brandy has not watched any of them, so it's oh

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uh like she had, like she's never seen an episode

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of Stranger Things.

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Oh, this is very interesting. Yeah, but that's so.

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Are you then going to start over with season one

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with with the new girlfriend and watch all of them

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culminating into a season five and somehow avoid spoilers in

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that time?

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I'm going to much like you are with Tara. I

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am not going to force her to watch any thing.

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She's always been open. She's like, I'll give it a shot. So,

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after watching the last season up to the final episode,

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which I think has been fantastic, I so far one

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of the best final seasons of TV. I think I've seen,

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I'm gonna, you know, let her. I would like to

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go back and actually watch it again because I feel

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like there's a lot of stuff I've forgotten from the

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first two seasons especially. Yeah, so I'm gonna give it

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a shot and see if she's interested. And if she is,

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then yeah, we'll watch it. If not, uh, she's uh

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you know, and and it's my fault I did this

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that this is Uh, I can't even I'll save this

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for another show.

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Make a note of it. Yeah, but the Treehouse the

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Treehouse Show podcast will have amazing you know what from Trade.

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We'll save this subject for the regular show because it's

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it's something I will I did on on just almost

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as a joke, and it's now come back to really

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be a pain in my ass.

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Kind of like the pegging jokes for me in twenty

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twenty five.

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You know, this one's almost worse. And I guess there's

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a tease for the for the regular show.

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Oh, I cannot wait.

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You need to catch that show, which will drop on Tuesday.

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Be sure to find and follow the Treehouse Show podcast

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everywhere you get your podcasts, including Spotify, iHeart, and of

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course Apple podcasts. All right, let's jump into the meat

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of this show today. What do you got trade?

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All right, We're gonna start off with I found a

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very interesting question. Would I be the asshole for refusing

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to meet my ex fiance who left me at the

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altar even though he's dying and says he needs closure.

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Four years ago, I was supposed to get married. I

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was in my dress ready to walk down the aisle

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when my fiance's best man told.

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Me he was gone.

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He got in the car and left without a word,

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and I never heard from him again. I was destroyed.

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I went to therapy for years to deal with trust

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issues and humiliation. I'd explained everyone why the wedding didn't happen,

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Return gifts, cancel vendors, I'll blah blah blah. Finally, FIELD

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have an amazing boyfriend who helped me to learn to

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trust again. I built a new life, and Jay became

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a distant, painful memory I never wanted to revisit. Last week,

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a mutual friend gave Jay my number without asking me.

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He texted me saying he needs to see me because

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he has a lot to explain. I ignored it. Then

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he texted again, saying he's been diagnosed with terminal cancer

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and he doesn't have much time left. He said he

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needs to apologize and get closure before he dies. He

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said it would mean everything to him if he could

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have one hour. I said no, told him I spent

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four years healing from what he did. I didn't know

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him anything, so I hope he finds peace, but I

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can't be a part of that. Wished him well and

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blocked his number. Am I the asshole refusing to meet

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with him even though he might die without getting to apologize.

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No, this is an important lesson we all need to

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learn in our lives, no matter short or long they

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might be, there are consequences to your actions. I applaud

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if genuine. I applaud his efforts to reconnect, to try

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to make good as much as possible on what he

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did to her those many years ago.

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But I'm hoping that.

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He respects her wishes in that scenario because ball's totally

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in her court there. He has to live or die

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with whatever she decides. And I think it's totally fine

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for what he did to her. I think it's totally

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fine for her to protect her piece that she has

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worked so hard for.

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She doesn't owe him anything.

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And just because you're dying, that doesn't mean people owe

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you something. I'm going to say that again, not just

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for the living, but for those who are dead that

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are still expecting something in their grave. Just because you're

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dying doesn't mean people owe you shit.

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Yeah.

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I would love to take a counterpoint on this one,

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but it's really hard.

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I mean, and.

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You know, there, I listen, I did some you know,

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I've I have learned to make peace with that as

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a recovering alcoholic, and I didn't said things that I

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deeply regret that they're you know, you can't take back.

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And that's just the way it is. Uh. And uh,

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you know I would have you know, I would have

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loved to have been able to make amends with Russ.

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I tried, but you know I and I you know,

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as I said, I wrote him a letter and I

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made my amends. And I said, well, I don't regret

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the overall context of what I said. I regret the

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manner in which I said it. It was disrespectful. Yeah,

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and then.

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To be to be fair, that's yeah. And and to

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be fair, disrespectful is the language he understood best.

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Uh.

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Yeah, So that's that's why, that's why it cut him

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so deeply, if we're being honest. So you did exactly

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with your situation. You did exactly what I would recommend

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to this dying man as he's trying to make amends

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to his ex. She says, no, then, by God, write

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a letter, give it to someone third party that can

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give it to her at some point if they choose

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that way. His feelings are purged onto paper and she

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may or may not ever read those words, but at

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least he's purged them from his body in some way,

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and it may be the only way he gets to it.

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The other option is sit down in front of a

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microphone and record I'm dying podcasts and see if she

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eventually listens to it.

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I mean, and it's a it's an excellent lesson of Also,

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you think about your actions because there are some things

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you cannot take back and try to avoid doing those things.

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Yeah, and that's especially difficult when you're young. You don't

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think about consequences on a large scale. So like when

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you're young, you're aware of consequences. You're aware that certain

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things you do have you know, it's like the for

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every action equal and opposite reaction, right, everything you do

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will have some type of consequence. Could be good, could

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be bad, don't know. But usually when we're young, when

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we consider consequences, it's in a very short timeline. But

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the older we get, we start thinking in longer timelines

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and bigger pictures when it comes to consequences. So when

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you're fifteen, you think, if I cheat on this test,

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it would be bad because this might happen tomorrow.

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Whereas we being.

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Middle aged men, we think back on cheating on a

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test when we're fifteen could have implications reaching far beyond

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the next day. It may not be if you get

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caught detention, and that's bad. It could be a permanent

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negative mark on your record that keeps you from getting

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into the college you wanted. Yeah, I mean, and that

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can completely change, you know, trajectory of your life type

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of stuff. That's kind of what I'm getting at. So

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when you're young, you make a dumb decision, you're only

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thinking about in the moment or the very brief future.

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The older you get, you start thinking bigger term and

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you start thinking, you know what, maybe I shouldn't cut

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this corner here because it could have a major effect

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far down the line.

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That is very true. I mean, when you're young, you

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don't think about at least I didn't really think about

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the future. You don't think. Hell, you barely think next day.

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You know what.

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You're right, Yeah, the consequence thing when you're a kid,

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if you even think about it at all, it's very short.

250
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But you're right, I think, for the most part, and

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I did the same thing. I didn't think about, you know,

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the total consequences. I was like, man, I'm living in

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the moment and I didn't even know what that was

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back then.

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All right, Well, that leads me to this next question.

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And it's kind of spin off but thought provoking. What's

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a bitter life lesson you learned from your longest or

258
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from a failed relationship? All right, say it again, what's

259
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a bitter life lesson learned from? Like you're for a

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s magnificant relationship that failed?

261
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Oh man, how much time do we have?

262
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I feel like I just got thrown into the middle

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of a World War two land mine. Accountability, I think,

264
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I think. I think accountability in any relationship, whether it's

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you know, romantic, platonic, business life, whatever, accountability I think

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is something that some people take too much of and

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then others don't take enough of. So I think accountability

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is a big part of it. So like in in

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failures of the past, I definitely take my fair share

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of accountability on those things. And the good thing about

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that is is you try to learn from it. And

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then there's the people that don't and they just go

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along thinking like ah, you suck. It's like, well, okay,

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what about you?

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I think the the biggest lesson I think I learned

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is just because you love somebody does not mean you

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are compatible and you can make it work. Like That's

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I think, and I think that's definitely something that comes

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with maturing. And I say that because I'm sure there

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are a lot of people who learned that early on.

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One of the things about alcoholism is, you know, they

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say you quit maturing when you start drinking, And I

283
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look back at my life, and you know, there are

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a lot of ways when I quit drinking at forty two,

285
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I acted like I was eighteen. But you know that

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is Yeah, you can love someone to death, but that

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does not mean that you can make it in a relationship,

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because you know, you can still be really toxic for

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each other.

290
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Yeah, that's very true. Uh, And I think I think

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that's a big part of it as well. I think

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I think I think the first step is just being

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able to actually analyze those situations to that degree. That's

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a huge step forward, because that's kind of like I

295
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was saying with with mine accountability or the lack thereof.

296
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There are some people that will just chalk it up to, oh,

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he's a turd, and they won't stop to ever, you know, look.

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In the mirror.

299
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Yeah, and there's nothing you can do about that. And

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if they're not going to do it, you can't force them.

301
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Well, I look back, it's something my grandfather said, and

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he wasn't. Yeah, it's not like he was the first

303
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person to ever say this, but it was. It was

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such profound advice, and especially now that you know a healthy,

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happy relationship. But he said, if it's if it's hard

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in the beginning, is that's the honeymoon phase. If if

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it's difficult, then it just gets worse. Yeah, and yeah, that.

308
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That was.

309
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True.

310
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Yeah, along those lines.

311
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A good metaphor for that, what your grandfather said is

312
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like a roller coaster, right, and more specifically the big

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fun roller coasters of the modern era.

314
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Right.

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They start out super high, you're on the very top,

316
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and things are good. It's beautiful up there, and you

317
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know the track below is gonna have twists and turns

318
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and ups and downs. But if you look at that

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roller coaster, it's it's very rare that those roller coasters

320
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ever go higher than that starting point. M it's all

321
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downhill from there. It has a few you know, ticks

322
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up here, some loops here, and a twist and a

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turn and some zero G stuff where you think your

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body's about to leave the planet, but then it comes

325
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crashing back down.

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And so when you look at it, look at it

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like the skyline or.

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The profile of a roller coaster. You can always tell

329
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the beginning of it because it's not highest spot. That's

330
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a relationship.

331
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Yeah, sometimes you get stuck at the top of the

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loop and you're just hanging on for dear.

333
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Life and hoping the fire department shows up to rescue you,

334
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typically upside down.

335
00:19:23.319 --> 00:19:27.759
And finally the little bring a little levity to this,

336
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I had. This is one I have never I've heard

337
00:19:31.359 --> 00:19:33.319
some weird things, but I had never heard of this one.

338
00:19:33.799 --> 00:19:34.880
Oh good.

339
00:19:36.079 --> 00:19:42.119
My husband designates a left and right sock like I

340
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don't understand this. After watching his socks, he spends an

341
00:19:45.039 --> 00:19:48.559
hour separating the left and right foot socks and then

342
00:19:48.640 --> 00:19:52.079
matches them together. If one is missing, he gets upset

343
00:19:53.319 --> 00:19:56.880
say he ends up with two left feet. I say

344
00:19:56.920 --> 00:19:59.240
this is weird and no one does this, and that

345
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he should just buy new socks and wear them like

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a normal person. He looks at me like I'm crazy.

347
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He swears this has to be done because socks naturally

348
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wear the shape of your foot, so if you mix

349
00:20:10.640 --> 00:20:13.400
them up, you end up with an extra space in

350
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that sock. Does anyone else do this?

351
00:20:17.519 --> 00:20:23.440
I can't believe. I'm going to say this, but I

352
00:20:23.519 --> 00:20:28.599
relate to this man on some level. No, and hang on.

353
00:20:29.880 --> 00:20:34.519
Despite this seeming like a very surface level question, there's

354
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a lot to unpack here. First of all, I kind.

355
00:20:41.240 --> 00:20:41.839
Of do this.

356
00:20:43.759 --> 00:20:48.160
I do not separate left sock, right sock when it

357
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comes out of the laundry. I'll just I'll match the socks.

358
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If it's the same, one they go together, next one same,

359
00:20:53.559 --> 00:20:55.000
they match, go together.

360
00:20:55.079 --> 00:20:56.359
I'm not doing left right.

361
00:20:57.680 --> 00:21:02.960
But when I pull the socks out to then wear them,

362
00:21:03.359 --> 00:21:06.279
I will look at the contour of the sock to

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00:21:06.400 --> 00:21:10.039
see if one is the left and one is the

364
00:21:10.119 --> 00:21:14.200
right from usage, and if I can, I will put

365
00:21:14.279 --> 00:21:17.200
them on accordingly. I Am not going to spend an

366
00:21:17.200 --> 00:21:20.119
hour matching up left right, left right as it comes

367
00:21:20.160 --> 00:21:23.119
out of the laundry. So I'm like fifty percent of

368
00:21:23.119 --> 00:21:25.720
this guy.

369
00:21:25.880 --> 00:21:29.960
How much analysis do you do? I mean, does it

370
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have to be obvious or do we really lay them

371
00:21:32.839 --> 00:21:35.079
out on like a bed and really look at the

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00:21:35.079 --> 00:21:36.000
contour of the sock.

373
00:21:37.279 --> 00:21:39.160
So this happened just two days ago, So I'll tell

374
00:21:39.200 --> 00:21:43.279
you exactly what happened. Pulled the socks out. They're in

375
00:21:43.319 --> 00:21:45.480
the bunch right. Then I pulled them out of the bunch.

376
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Then I put them on my thigh and like, okay.

377
00:21:47.440 --> 00:21:49.680
Then I look at the left one first and see

378
00:21:49.720 --> 00:21:51.319
is this the left or the right?

379
00:21:51.359 --> 00:21:51.960
Can I tell?

380
00:21:52.839 --> 00:21:54.799
I couldn't tell, So I was like, okay, I'll put

381
00:21:54.799 --> 00:21:56.519
that one down, let me grab the other one. I

382
00:21:56.559 --> 00:21:58.880
grabbed the other one, and I was like, that's clearly

383
00:21:58.920 --> 00:22:02.400
the right one. So I go back to the left

384
00:22:02.440 --> 00:22:03.920
and I'm looking at it shape and I was like,

385
00:22:04.480 --> 00:22:08.200
you know, this could go either way whatever. I know,

386
00:22:08.240 --> 00:22:10.279
the right one is the right one. This one's just

387
00:22:10.319 --> 00:22:12.000
gonna go on the left, and it is what it is.

388
00:22:12.079 --> 00:22:13.920
That's where it stopped for me. And it took all

389
00:22:13.960 --> 00:22:18.319
of twenty seconds. That's as far as I'll go with that.

390
00:22:19.519 --> 00:22:22.720
So again, I kind of understand where this guy is

391
00:22:22.759 --> 00:22:27.200
coming from. I'm not to that extreme, but I get

392
00:22:27.240 --> 00:22:30.440
it now. I'd like to point this out because I said,

393
00:22:30.440 --> 00:22:33.359
there's a lot under the surface here that you're just

394
00:22:33.359 --> 00:22:35.720
take tinking it as a Oh this is a silly sockman.

395
00:22:37.920 --> 00:22:40.279
If this is the biggest complaint this woman has about

396
00:22:40.319 --> 00:22:42.160
her man, she needs to consider herself lucky.

397
00:22:45.039 --> 00:22:47.880
I have a sad time believing this would be the

398
00:22:47.880 --> 00:22:52.200
biggest complaint. If he's this. If he's this problematic of socks.

399
00:22:52.559 --> 00:22:53.559
Well, this is my thing.

400
00:22:55.559 --> 00:22:58.640
If this is not the biggest problem, then why is

401
00:22:58.680 --> 00:23:01.680
she posting about it online? Post about the serious stuff, right,

402
00:23:02.599 --> 00:23:04.680
If she's posting about it online? To me, this is

403
00:23:04.720 --> 00:23:07.559
the most serious or weirdest thing that she feels like

404
00:23:07.640 --> 00:23:08.559
she has to put up with.

405
00:23:09.119 --> 00:23:11.160
And it's not that bad. It could it be a.

406
00:23:11.160 --> 00:23:14.599
Little weird, sure, but you know what, let the man

407
00:23:14.680 --> 00:23:16.720
be weird about his socks or I tell you what,

408
00:23:16.920 --> 00:23:21.440
do this anytime someone does something that you don't understand

409
00:23:21.440 --> 00:23:23.720
why they do it, and you just start making wild

410
00:23:23.759 --> 00:23:26.359
assumptions or talking about them to your friend group or

411
00:23:26.359 --> 00:23:28.160
your parents, and you.

412
00:23:28.039 --> 00:23:31.960
Know, making fun of them, teasing them, basically ask him why.

413
00:23:32.680 --> 00:23:35.240
Maybe he's got a reason for it in his mind.

414
00:23:35.359 --> 00:23:36.240
It makes sense.

415
00:23:38.440 --> 00:23:41.079
Tara wrote this, didn't she?

416
00:23:41.079 --> 00:23:45.680
She may have. I don't know. Is it signed text?

417
00:23:45.759 --> 00:23:46.319
Gal six?

418
00:23:53.079 --> 00:23:53.839
She's an angel.

419
00:23:55.519 --> 00:23:58.640
She is for all things Treehouse. Go to Treehouse on

420
00:23:58.839 --> 00:24:02.599
Air dot com. That finding the Treehouse Show podcast. Trey

421
00:24:02.599 --> 00:24:04.680
mentioned it the Regular Show. This is an offshoot.

422
00:24:04.720 --> 00:24:05.720
This is YouTube special.

423
00:24:06.480 --> 00:24:09.640
Come hit the Regular Treehouse Show podcast where we cover

424
00:24:09.720 --> 00:24:13.720
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