March 23, 2026
YouTube Ep 16 | Dear Treehouse | Unforgivable People Who Left You
Today we ask the question if you need to forgive someone who is dying but left you at the alter and can you forgive someone who sorts their socks by left and right foot?
Leave your worries outside and join Dan O'Malley, Trey Trenholm, and their hilarious guests for laughs about funny news and viral stories with ridiculous commentary inside the Treehouse Show.
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It is time to leave your worries outside and laugh
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with us inside the treehouse. I'm Dan, O'Malley and he
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is Trey Trendholm. Trey, what do you have in store
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for us today? Oh?
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You know, Daniel, some thought provoking questions regarding relationships and such.
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But first, Happy.
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New Year, Happy New Year to you, Thank you?
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How is your How was your New Year's Eve?
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We did not make it to midnight, and I'm okay
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with that. I am at the age now where that's
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totally fine. And it wasn't even played for us to
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make it to midnight. Our favorite restaurant had an opening
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for two at five point thirty in the afternoon, and
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we said that sounds good. So we did that and
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we were in bed before ten, so it went very
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very well.
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How about you?
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I made it to midnight, Brandy barely did. I kind
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of had a nudge rope awake, but we had a
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lovely you know. We went to the Stars game. They
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did not did not play well, but it was still fun.
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And then I made a big batch of chili and
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we were home I probably ten thirty and and thank god,
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because then I saw the videos of downtown Dallas. I
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had forgotten that people just park on the interstates and
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everything to watch the fireworks, which in the videos I saw,
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Bravo Dallas, they did it one hell of a fireworks show.
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Yeah, they've really gone balls out.
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Well, and the drones that everyone is using now really
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makes it all the more impressive.
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I had this thought the other day. So there was
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this crazy drone show in Las Vegas, coinciding with the
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finale of Stranger Things, and I couldn't help but think,
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just imagine if you could go back in time with
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just the drone show for Stranger Things and put that
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in the skies over a small town in the United
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States circa nineteen eighty five, get people's reactions, Oh my god,
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especially because one of these scenes in the drone show
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is sort of that red void portal that's opening up
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with Vecna coming through and this is all drones and
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I'm getting chills just thinking about it. But then I'm
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just imagining what that would look like over a typical
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Midwest town in nineteen eighty five, with no knowledge of
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drones or anything.
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People would lose their goddamn minds.
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Oh it would be I mean, podium, you know, I
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remember when when Reagan, you know, had that Hot Mike episode,
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you know, because the presidents used to do a weekly
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radio address.
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Uh and you know, I forgot.
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Exactly what he said a basis said that, you know,
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the Soviets are attacking where it wore something like that,
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and you know people flipped out. Uh so, yeah, if
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you put actual something they could see. Oh and again
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hard to imagine for most people that you're going to
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a time where there was no internet, you had three
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television stations and yeah, people would wig the fuck out.
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Yeah.
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And and in your homes, your standard homes, you were
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lucky if you got a couple of UHF channels.
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Forget cable the other I mean, cable was barely a thing,
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especially if you're in rural you know, in the country,
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your best option. Hell, they didn't get cable most places
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till in the two thousands. I mean you either had
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you had one of the in the eighties, you had
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one of those gig gigantic you know, eight foot satellite
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dishes that you needed a doctorate to you know, figure
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out how to use because you actually had to know
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you know, the different angles and where satellites were and
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everything else. Then you know, direct TV came along.
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Yeah, yeah, those are the white monoliths of the country side.
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Uh.
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And I think you and I know about that all
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too well, because while we mainly grew up in the
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Dallas area, we both spent a good chunks. We both
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spent good chunks of our childhood in rural areas. You Leonard, Texas,
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me technically in between two rural towns, so like I
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was in between Bartlesville, Oklahoma and no Wada, Oklahoma. So yeah,
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if you showed that in the sky over over, oh
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god it no, everyone would have freaked out and it
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would have been uh, like I said, it would have.
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It definitely would have been pandemonium, which is part of
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the reason why I wish I could go back in
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time with that drone.
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Joke and do it, just to see the havoc that
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it would cause.
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And by the way, I I have not Have you
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seen the final episode of Stranger Things? Oh yeah, okay,
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I have not watched it yet, so no spoilers.
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Really, Tara Trey hasn't seen the finale yet A Stranger Things,
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oh you just got the she just did the face
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so well.
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Brandy has not watched any of them, so it's oh
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uh like she had, like she's never seen an episode
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of Stranger Things.
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Oh, this is very interesting. Yeah, but that's so.
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Are you then going to start over with season one
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with with the new girlfriend and watch all of them
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culminating into a season five and somehow avoid spoilers in
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that time?
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I'm going to much like you are with Tara. I
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am not going to force her to watch any thing.
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She's always been open. She's like, I'll give it a shot. So,
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after watching the last season up to the final episode,
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which I think has been fantastic, I so far one
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of the best final seasons of TV. I think I've seen,
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I'm gonna, you know, let her. I would like to
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go back and actually watch it again because I feel
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like there's a lot of stuff I've forgotten from the
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first two seasons especially. Yeah, so I'm gonna give it
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a shot and see if she's interested. And if she is,
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then yeah, we'll watch it. If not, uh, she's uh
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you know, and and it's my fault I did this
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that this is Uh, I can't even I'll save this
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for another show.
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Make a note of it. Yeah, but the Treehouse the
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Treehouse Show podcast will have amazing you know what from Trade.
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We'll save this subject for the regular show because it's
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it's something I will I did on on just almost
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as a joke, and it's now come back to really
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be a pain in my ass.
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Kind of like the pegging jokes for me in twenty
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twenty five.
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You know, this one's almost worse. And I guess there's
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a tease for the for the regular show.
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Oh, I cannot wait.
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You need to catch that show, which will drop on Tuesday.
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Be sure to find and follow the Treehouse Show podcast
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everywhere you get your podcasts, including Spotify, iHeart, and of
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course Apple podcasts. All right, let's jump into the meat
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of this show today. What do you got trade?
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All right, We're gonna start off with I found a
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very interesting question. Would I be the asshole for refusing
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to meet my ex fiance who left me at the
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altar even though he's dying and says he needs closure.
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Four years ago, I was supposed to get married. I
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was in my dress ready to walk down the aisle
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when my fiance's best man told.
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Me he was gone.
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He got in the car and left without a word,
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and I never heard from him again. I was destroyed.
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I went to therapy for years to deal with trust
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issues and humiliation. I'd explained everyone why the wedding didn't happen,
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Return gifts, cancel vendors, I'll blah blah blah. Finally, FIELD
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have an amazing boyfriend who helped me to learn to
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trust again. I built a new life, and Jay became
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a distant, painful memory I never wanted to revisit. Last week,
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a mutual friend gave Jay my number without asking me.
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He texted me saying he needs to see me because
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he has a lot to explain. I ignored it. Then
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he texted again, saying he's been diagnosed with terminal cancer
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and he doesn't have much time left. He said he
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needs to apologize and get closure before he dies. He
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said it would mean everything to him if he could
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have one hour. I said no, told him I spent
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four years healing from what he did. I didn't know
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him anything, so I hope he finds peace, but I
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can't be a part of that. Wished him well and
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blocked his number. Am I the asshole refusing to meet
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with him even though he might die without getting to apologize.
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No, this is an important lesson we all need to
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learn in our lives, no matter short or long they
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might be, there are consequences to your actions. I applaud
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if genuine. I applaud his efforts to reconnect, to try
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to make good as much as possible on what he
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did to her those many years ago.
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But I'm hoping that.
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He respects her wishes in that scenario because ball's totally
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in her court there. He has to live or die
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with whatever she decides. And I think it's totally fine
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for what he did to her. I think it's totally
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fine for her to protect her piece that she has
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worked so hard for.
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She doesn't owe him anything.
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And just because you're dying, that doesn't mean people owe
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you something. I'm going to say that again, not just
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for the living, but for those who are dead that
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are still expecting something in their grave. Just because you're
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dying doesn't mean people owe you shit.
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Yeah.
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I would love to take a counterpoint on this one,
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but it's really hard.
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I mean, and.
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You know, there, I listen, I did some you know,
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I've I have learned to make peace with that as
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a recovering alcoholic, and I didn't said things that I
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deeply regret that they're you know, you can't take back.
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And that's just the way it is. Uh. And uh,
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you know I would have you know, I would have
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loved to have been able to make amends with Russ.
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I tried, but you know I and I you know,
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as I said, I wrote him a letter and I
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made my amends. And I said, well, I don't regret
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the overall context of what I said. I regret the
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manner in which I said it. It was disrespectful. Yeah,
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and then.
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To be to be fair, that's yeah. And and to
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be fair, disrespectful is the language he understood best.
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Uh.
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Yeah, So that's that's why, that's why it cut him
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so deeply, if we're being honest. So you did exactly
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with your situation. You did exactly what I would recommend
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to this dying man as he's trying to make amends
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to his ex. She says, no, then, by God, write
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a letter, give it to someone third party that can
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give it to her at some point if they choose
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that way. His feelings are purged onto paper and she
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may or may not ever read those words, but at
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least he's purged them from his body in some way,
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and it may be the only way he gets to it.
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The other option is sit down in front of a
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microphone and record I'm dying podcasts and see if she
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eventually listens to it.
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I mean, and it's a it's an excellent lesson of Also,
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you think about your actions because there are some things
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you cannot take back and try to avoid doing those things.
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Yeah, and that's especially difficult when you're young. You don't
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think about consequences on a large scale. So like when
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you're young, you're aware of consequences. You're aware that certain
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things you do have you know, it's like the for
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every action equal and opposite reaction, right, everything you do
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will have some type of consequence. Could be good, could
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be bad, don't know. But usually when we're young, when
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we consider consequences, it's in a very short timeline. But
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the older we get, we start thinking in longer timelines
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and bigger pictures when it comes to consequences. So when
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you're fifteen, you think, if I cheat on this test,
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it would be bad because this might happen tomorrow.
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Whereas we being.
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Middle aged men, we think back on cheating on a
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test when we're fifteen could have implications reaching far beyond
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the next day. It may not be if you get
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caught detention, and that's bad. It could be a permanent
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negative mark on your record that keeps you from getting
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into the college you wanted. Yeah, I mean, and that
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can completely change, you know, trajectory of your life type
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of stuff. That's kind of what I'm getting at. So
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when you're young, you make a dumb decision, you're only
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