YouTube Ep 15 | Dear Treehouse | The Christmas Live Show

0:29 It is time to leave your worries outside and laugh with us inside the treehouse. I'm Dan, O'Malley and he is Trey Trendholm. Trey. What do you have in store for us today? Oh? You know, Daniel, some thought provoking questions regarding relationships and such. But first, Happy New Year, Happy New Year to you, Thank you. How is your How was your New Year's Eve? We did not make it to midnight, and I'm okay with that. I am at the age now where that's totally fine. And it wasn't even playing for us to make it to midnight. Our favorite restaurant had had an opening for two at five thirty in the afternoon, and we said that sounds good. So we did that and we were in bed before ten. So it went very very well. How about you?

1:22 I made it to midnight, Brandy barely did it. I kind of had a nudgeer rope awake. But we had a lovely you know. We went to uh went to the Stars game. They did not. Did not play well, but it was still fun. And then I made a big batch of chili and uh we were home. I had probably ten thirty and uh and thank god because then I saw the videos of downtown Dallas. I had forgotten that people just park on the interstates and everything to watch the fireworks, which in the videos I saw Bravo Dallas that they did it one hell of a fireworks show.

2:09 Yeah, they've really gone balls out. Well, and the drones that everyone is using now really makes it all the more impressive. I had this thought the other day. So there was this crazy drone show in Las Vegas, coinciding with the finale of Stranger Things, and I couldn't help but think, just imagine if you could go back in time with just the drone show for Stranger Things and put that in the skies over a small town in the United States circa nineteen eighty five, get people's reactions, Oh my god, especially because one of these scenes in the drone show is sort of that red void hortal that's opening up with vekna coming through, and this is all drones and I'm getting chills just thinking about it. But then I'm just imagining what that would look like over a typical Midwest town in nineteen eighty five, with no knowledge of drones or anything. People would lose their goddamn minds.

3:16 Oh it would be I mean podium. You know, I remember when when Reagan you know, had that hot mic episode, you know, because the presidents used to do a weekly radio address. Uh and you know I forgot exactly what he said a basis said, you know, the Soviets are attacking where it wore something like that, and you know people flipped out. Uh So yeah, if you put actual something they could see. Oh and again. Hard to imagine for most people that you're going to a time where there was no internet. You had three television stations and yeah, people would wig the fuck out.

3:58 Yeah. And and in your home, your standard homes, you were lucky if you got a couple of UHF channels. Forget cable the other I mean, cable was barely a thing, especially if you're in rural uh you know, in the country. Uh, your best option. Hell, they didn't get cable most places till in the two thousands. I mean you either had you had one of the in the eighties, you had one of those gigantic you know, eight foot satellite dishes that you needed a doctor doctorate to you know, figure out how to use because you actually had to know you know, the different angles and where satellites were and everything else then you know direct TV came along.

4:43 Yeah, yeah, those are the white monoliths of the country side. Uh. And I think you and I know about that all too well, because while we mainly grew up in the Dallas area, we both spent a good chunks. We both spent good chunks of our childhood in rural air. Is you Leonard Texas me technically in between two rural towns, so like I was in between Bartlesville, Oklahoma and no Wada, Oklahoma. So yeah, if you showed that in the sky over over, oh god it no, everyone would have freaked out and it would have been like I said, it would have. It definitely would have been pandemonium, which is part of the reason why I wish I could go back in time with that drone joke and do it, just to see the havoc that it would cause.

5:30 And by the way, I have not you have you seen the final episode of Stranger Things? Oh yeah, okay, I I have not watched it yet, so no spoilers. Really, Tara Trey hasn't seen the finale yet A Stranger Things, Oh you just got the she just did the face so well. Brandy has not watched any of them. So it's oh, uh. Like she had like she's never seen an episode of Stranger Things. Oh, this is very interesting. Yeah, but that's so. Are you then going to start over with season one with with the new girlfriend and watch all of them culminating into a season five and somehow avoid spoilers in that time?

6:20 I'm going to. Much like you are with Tara. I am not going to force her to watch anything. She's always been open. She's like, I'll give it a shot. So, after watching the last season up to the final episode, which I think has been fantastic, I so far one of the best final seasons of TV. I think I've seen, I'm gonna, you know, let her. I would like to go back and actually watch it again because I feel like there's a lot of stuff I've forgotten from the first two seasons especially. Yeah, so I'm gonna give it a shot and see if she's interested.

7:01 And if she is, then yeah, we'll watch it. If not, uh, she's a you know, and it's my fault I did this that this is. I can't even I'll save this for another show, make a note of it. Yeah, but the Treehouse The Treehouse Show podcast will have a meeting you know what from trade. We'll save this subject for the regular show because it's it's something I will I did on I just almost as a joke, and it's now come back to really be a pain in my ass. Kind of like the pegging jokes for me in twenty twenty five.

7:47 You know, this one's almost worse. And I guess there's a tease for the for the regular show. Oh, I cannot wait. You need to catch that show, which will drop on Tuesday. Be sure to find and follow the Treehouse Show podcast everywhere you get your podcasts, including Spotify, iHeart, and of course Apple podcasts. All right, let's jump into the meat of this show today. What do you got Trey? All right, We're gonna start off with I found a very interesting question. Would I be the asshole for refusing to meet my ex fiancee who left me at the altar even though he's dying and says he needs closure. Four years ago, I was supposed to get married.

8:28 I was in my dress ready to walk down the aisle when my fiance's best man told me he was gone. He got in the car and left without a word, and I never heard from him again. I was destroyed. I went to. Therapy for years to deal with trust issues and humiliation. I'd explained everyone why the wedding didn't happen, Return gifts, cancel vendors. I'll blah blah blah. Finally, FIELD have an amazing boyfriend who helped me to learn to trust again. I built a new life, and Jay became a distant, painful memory. I never wanted to visit. Last week, a mutual friend gave Jay my number without asking me. He texted me saying he needs to see me because he has a lot to explain.

9:10 I ignored it. Then he texted again, saying he's been diagnosed with terminal cancer and he doesn't have much time left. He said he needs to apologize and get closure before he dies. He said it would mean everything to him if he could have one hour. I said no, told him I spent four years healing from what he did. I didn't know him anything, So I hope he finds peace, but I can't. Be a part of that. Wished him well and blocked his number. Am I the asshole refusing to meet with him even though he might die without getting to apologize. No, this is an important lesson. We all need to learn in our lives, no matter short or long they might be, there are consequences to your actions. I applaud if genuine. I applaud his ffforts to reconnect, to try to make good as much as possible on what he did to her those many years ago. But I'm hoping that he respects her wishes in that scenario because ball's totally in her court there. He has to live or die with whatever she decides. And I think it's totally fine for what he did to her. I think it's totally fine for her to protect her piece that she has worked so hard for. She doesn't owe him anything.

10:32 And just because you're dying, that doesn't mean people owe you something. I'm going to say that again, not just for the living, but for those who are dead that are still expecting something in their grave. Just because you're dying doesn't mean people owe you shit. Yeah. I would love to take a counterpoint on this one, but it's really hard. I mean, you know, there, I listen, I did some you know, I've I have learned to make peace with that as a recovering alcoholic, and I didn't said things that I deeply regret that there you know you can't take.

11:16 Back and then and that's just the way it is. Uh. And uh, you know I would. Have you know, I would have loved to have been able to make amends with Russ. I tried, but you know, I and I you know, as I said, I wrote him a letter and I made my amends. And I said, well, I don't regret the overall context of what I said. I regret the manner in which I said it. It was disrespectful. Yeah, and then to. Be to be fair, that's yeah. And and to be fair disrespectful is the language he understood best. Yeah.

11:57 So that's that's why, that's why it cut him so deep, if we're being honest. So you did exactly with your situation. You did exactly what I would recommend to this dying man as he's trying to make amends to his ex. She says, no, then, by God, write a letter, give it to someone third party that can give it to her at some point if they choose that way. His feelings are purged onto paper and she may or may not ever read those words, but at least he's purged them from his body in some way, and it may be the only way he gets to it. The other option is sit down in front of a microphone and record I'm dying podcasts and see if she eventually listens to it.

12:42 I mean, and it's a it's an excellent lesson of Also, you think about your actions because there are some things you cannot take back and try to avoid doing those things. Yeah, and that's especially difficult when you're young. You don't think about consequences on a large scale. So like when you're young, you're aware of consequences. You're aware that certain things you do have you know, it's like the for every action equal and opposite reaction, right, everything you do will have some type of consequence. Could be good, could be bad, don't know. But usually when we're young, when we consider consequences, it's in a very short timeline. But the older we get, we start thinking in longer timelines and bigger pictures when it comes to consequences. So when you're fifteen, you think, if I cheat on this test, it would be bad because this might happen tomorrow. Whereas we being middle aged men, we think back on cheating on a test when we're fifteen could have implications reaching far beyond the next day. It may not be if you get caught detention, and that's bad. It could be a permanent negative mark on your record that keeps you from getting into the college you wanted. Yeah, I mean, and that can completely change, you know, trajectory of your

14:12 life type of stuff. That's kind of what I'm getting at. So when you're young, you make a dumb decision, you're only thinking about in the moment or the very brief future. The older you get, you start thinking bigger term and you start thinking, you know what, maybe I shouldn't cut this corner here because it could have a major effect far down the line. That is very true. I mean, when you're young, you don't think about at least I didn't really think about the future. You don't think. Hell, you barely think the next day, you know what. You're right, Yeah, the consequence thing when you're a kid, if you even think about it at all, it's very short. But you're right, I think, for the most part, and I did the same thing. I didn't think about, you know, the total consequences. I was like, man, I'm living in the moment and I didn't even know what that was back then.

15:01 All right, Well, that leads me to this next question, and it's kind of uh spin off but thought provoking. What's a bitter life lesson you learned from your longest or from a failed relationship? All right, say it again, what's a bitter life lesson learned from? Like you're from a significant relationship that failed? Oh man, how much time do we have? I feel like I just got thrown into the middle of a World War two landmine. Accountability, I think.

15:45 I think. I think accountability in any relationship, whether it's you know, romantic, platonic, business life, whatever, accountability I think is is something that some people take too much of and then others don't take enough of. So I think accountability is a big part of it. So like in failures of the past, I definitely take my fair share of accountability on those things. And the good thing about that is is you try to learn from it, and then there's the people that don't and they just go along thinking like ah, you suck. It's like, well, okay, what about you?

16:28 I think the the biggest lesson I think I learned is just because you love somebody does not mean you are compatible and you can make it work. Like That's I think, And I think that's definitely something that. Comes with maturing. And I say that because I'm sure there are a lot of people who learned that early on. One of the things about alcoholism is, you know, they say you quit mature when you start drinking, And I look back at my life, and you know, there are a lot of ways when I quit drinking at forty two, I acted like I was eighteen. But you know that is Yeah, you can love someone to death, but that does not mean that you can make it in a relationship, because yeah, you can still be really toxic for each other.

17:25 Yeah, that's very true. Uh, And I think I think that's a big part of it as well. I think I think I think the first step is just being able to actually analyze those situations to that degree. That's a huge step forward, because that's kind of like I was saying with with mine accountability or the lack thereof. There are some people that will just chalk it up to, oh, he's a turd, and they won't stop to ever you know, look in the mirror. Yeah, and there's nothing you can do about that. And if they're not going to do it, you can't force them. Well, I look back, it's something my grandfather said, and he wasn't. Yeah, it's not like he.

18:06 Was the first person to ever say this, but it was. It was such profound advice, and especially now that you know a healthy, happy relationship. But you know, he said, if it's if it's hard in the beginning, is that's the honeymoon phase. If if it's difficult, then it just gets worse. Yeah, and you know that that was. True. Yeah, along those lines. A good metaphor for that, what your grandfather said is is like a roller coaster, right, and more specifically the big fun roller coasters of the modern era.

18:49 Right. They start out super high. You're on the very top, and things are good. It's beautiful up there, and you know the track below is gonna have twists and turns and ups and downs. But if you look at that roller coaster, it's it's very rare that those roller coasters ever go higher than that starting point. Mhmm. It's all downhill from there. It has a few you know, ticks up here, some loops here, and a twist and a turn and some zero G stuff where you think your body's about to leave the planet, but then it comes crashing back down. And so when you look at it. Look at it like the skyline or the profile of a roller coaster. You can always tell the beginning of it because it's not highest spot. That's a relationship.

19:36 Yeah, Sometimes you get stuck at the top of the loop and you're just hanging on for dear. Life and hoping the fire department shows up to rescue you, typically upside down. And finally the little bring a little levity to this, I had. This is when I have never I've heard some weird things, but I had never heard. Of this one. Oh good. My husband designates a left and right sock like I don't understand this. After watching his socks, he spends an hour separating the left and right foot socks and then matches them together. If one is missing, he gets upset, say he ends up with two left feet. I say this is weird and no one does this, and that he should just buy new socks and wear them like a normal person. He looks at me like I'm crazy.

20:32 He swears this has to be done because socks naturally wear the shape of your foot, so if you mix them up, you end up with an extra space in that sock. Does anyone else do this? I can't believe I'm going to say this, but I relate to this man on some level. No, and hang on, despite this seeming like a very surface level question, there's a lot to unpack here. First of all, I kind of do this. I do not separate left sock, right sock when it comes out of the laundry. I'll just I'll match the socks. If it's the same one they go together, next one same, they match, go together. I'm not doing left right, but when I pull the socks out to then wear them, I will look at the contour of the sock to see if one is the left and one is the right from usage, and if I can, I will put them on accordingly. I Am not going to spend an hour matching up left right, left right as it comes out of the laundry. So I'm like fifty percent of this guy.

21:52 How much analysis do do you do? I mean, does it have to be obvious or do we really lay them out on my bed and really look at the contour of the sock. So this happened just two days ago, so I'll tell you exactly what happened. Pulled the socks out. They're in the bunch right, Then I pulled them out of the bunch. Then I put them on my thigh and like, okay. Then I look at the left one first and see is this the left or the right? Can I tell? I couldn't tell, So I was like, okay, I'll put that one down, let me grab the other one. I grabbed the other one, and I was like, that's clearly the right one. So I go back to the left and I'm looking at it shape and I was like, you know, this one could go either way whatever. I know, the right one is the right one. This one's just gonna go on the left, and it is what it is.

22:38 That's where it stopped for me. And it took all of twenty seconds. That's as far as I'll go with that. So again, I kind of understand where this guy is coming from. I'm not to that extreme, but I get it. Now. I'd like to point this out because I said, there's a lot under the surface here that you're just taking it as a Oh, this is a silly sock. Man. If this is the biggest complaint this woman has about her man, she needs to consider herself lucky. I have at time believing this would be the biggest complaint if he's this, if he's this problematic of socks.

23:19 Well, this is my thing. If this is not the biggest problem, then why is she posting about it online? Post about the serious stuff? Right If she's posting about it online? To me, this is the most serious or weirdest thing that she feels like she has to put up with. And it's not that bad. It could it be a little weird, sure, but you know what, let the man be weird about his socks or I tell you what, do this anytime someone does something that you don't understand why they do it, and you just start making wild assumptions or talking about him to your friend group or your parents, and you know, making fun of them, teasing them, basically ask him why. Maybe he's got a reason for it in his mind. It makes sense.

24:05 Tara wrote this, didn't she? She may have. I don't know. Is it signed textcal six? She's an angel. She is for all things Treehouse. Go to Treehouse on Air dot com. That includes finding the Treehouse Show podcast. Trey mentioned it the Regular Show. This is an offshoot. This is YouTube special. Come hit the Regular Treehouse Show podcast where we cover funny news and viral stories with hilarious commentary at Treehouse, on air, everywhere you get your podcast. We will see you next time, right here inside the Treehouse.