Split the Bill or Pay Your Share? When Is It Fair—and When Are You Just Cheap? | The Treehouse Show

0:00 Do you feel restless and anxious, feel like something's missing in your life? Maybe you just need a little more Treehouse in it. Go to patreon dot com slash Treehouse on Air and check out all the bonus features of subscription offers, including bonus shows, behind the scenes content, special subscriber only live shows, and so much more. That's Patreon dot com slash Treehouse on Air. That's p a t r e o in dot com slash Treehouse on Air. It is time believe your worries outside and laugh with us inside the treehouse. I'm Daniel Madley along with Trade Trendholme coming up inside the Treehouse today.

0:40 A tiny Wiener update. Oh very exciting. Uh, it's just your your blog mother. No, this is despite despite the size, this is a story we just can't let go of. It's, uh, the continuing journey about Michael Phillips, the man who has the tiniest weenie on Earth. And this story just seems to be a classic tale of humanity where it's something good happens and then something worse happens to this man. I don't. I have all sorts of questions about that guy, and yeah, who America? Despite everything America is a very giving place.

1:34 And but the fact people donated to his GoFundMe, it's like, there's better things to do with your money. People. The thing that surprises me the most about that is the fact that he didn't pull in six figures. I mean, if there's ever a good cause that you talk about someone being just absolutely afflicted with something that they can't help. I figured more money would come his way. But good thing, he's used to shortcomings. So that's coming up today. Also homeless people doing homelessly stuff, of course, and to Split or not to Split? That's all coming up today inside the tree House. And if you love what you're here here today, then do us a favor and share it with a friend. Hit that share button from your favorite listening platform Spotify, iHeart even and send that to a buddy, a coworker, someone that's got something so small in their life there's nothing left but tears. Maybe they could use a chuckle. Send them the show and together we can grow the Treehouse show. Let's start today with to Split or Not to Split?

2:48 Trey. So, I recently had an experience, as everyone knows, are those new. I am a recovering alcoholic. I don't drink, have been. So this is a just mind blowing thing. Of next Monday, it'll be a decade. Congratulations. I appreciate it that I'm still trying to wrap my mind around that one. Basically as basically a fifth wait of your life has now been alcohol free. Well, I guess, I guess in your early your early days, like when you were seeing when you were like a toddler and it well I can't say teenager probably, but let's say a quarter of your life has been alcohol free. Oh you're gonna do the math, aren't you.

3:45 No, that's true. And yeah, that being said, so go out to dinner whatever, I don't drink. So I had an experience where I went to a birthday dinner, and which I'm normally fine with, but at a certain point, if I know the players involved, I am not one and Dan you can testify this. I am not cheap. I am not someone who's you know, I'm gonna pull anything. But also I'm not gonna piss away my money paying for everyone else's drinking. So I went to a birthday party, I knew the players involved, and I had a feeling bottles of wines are going to be order and everything else.

4:34 So I and I, as I have done for a while, I discreetly pulled the waiter aside server and I go, listen, I go, I need you to keep me on a separate check so that way, like, I'm more than happy to pay. I'm happy to contribute to to the birthday person's festivities. But what I'm not willing to do is pay. You know. And now, if everyone was just gonna have a drink or whatever, yeah, okay, I'm not gonna really split hairs. But I knew this group, and you know, by the time it's all said and done, they've spent over one thousand dollars on wine and drinks and everything else.

5:22 Because there are some players involved that have done very well in their life. So it comes time to split up the bill. And then you're like, well, hey, everyone, what is divided up by ten? I'm like, no, I go, I kept my check check separate go, so I'm gonna take care of that. And I go, you know, here's some money for to cover the birthday person's bill. Mm hmm. And they're like, oh, come on, you know, they're like, don't be that way, just just make it easy. I go It's perfectly easy to go divide by nine instead of ten, just because you know. I mean, if you need to bust out a calculator, knock yourself out. But no, I am not paying y'all all. You know you had like four bottles of wine.

6:13 M h. I did not, you know, partake in any of that, and I don't feel I need to pay for it. A couple of the people who I knew know me better than others, were okay, fine, other kept giving me dirty looks like I was being the party pooper because they were having to pay more. And I'm like, man, why would I pay for y'all's excessive drinking. I mean, I appreciate if over ten years ago, hey, I would have been right there with you, But. That made me doing laps around you. Yeah, the fact that you know and like I said, excessive ordering everything else, which is fine. Like I said, I I tipped my server very well, like about a forty percent tip, paid for mine, threw in some cash for you know, I even I specifically brought cash so just I knew, I go, hey, here there's my portion to cover the birthday person's meal and their night.

7:20 Yeah, but I. Don't feel like and I mean, and especially ten years into this, I don't feel bad at all. But I found it funny that some people thought I was being cheap are a pain in the ass because I wasn't going to pay for everyone's drinking. And it's not like I I made it difficult. I said, I had my check separate and you know, I mean my check was a quarter of what they ended up divving up. I mean it was. It's amazing how you money, you say, when you don't drink and you go out. Oh, it's like.

8:05 There was another night I went to Hobby Ears, which you've been there, you know, this fantastic uh Mexican place in Dallas, like Mexico City food. Love it. And this was it had been my first time. This was actually a couple of years ago, and my first time at hobby years post sobriety or post drinking whatever. And I was shocked because I you know, it was I was on a date. Oh yeah, we had an appetizer entrees and I think the check was like ninety bucks. I was like, oh wait, how this happened? Oh. Javier's is one of the best restaurants in Dallas, and it's super reasonably priced. Yeah, it's like, oh wow, it's not that bad. Oh that's right, because I'm not knocking back fifteen dollars marker.

8:54 Uh yeah, yeah, that helps. That's without a doubt. I am always fascinated by these split Czech scenarios and yours and yours has an additional layer to it, right, because your story, your situation, and this split the chech birthday scenario is already complicated because you've got different socioeconomic factors. Right, You've got some people that have done really well for themselves, and then you've got other people that you know don't have that same amount of money, right, and then you may even have some people at the table that have even less than that. So it really complicates it just from a financial point. I assure you I was the poorest person at the table.

9:35 I was trying to be delicate about it, but I kind of figure you don't need partly because you spent so much on drinking over your life. So yeah, I mean that's. Yeah, No, I ruined myself financially and professionally being an alcoholic. So and and you also have a number of friends in various walks of life, and so it's so at your table, you probably had three d different levels of financial uh situations. You probably had people that are millionaires, You probably had some people that are just. You know, comfy, and then there's you. You know, it's not like you're holding up a cardboard sign that says, you know, will work for food or anything.

10:16 But I mean, you're not forget the alcohol thing just for for a moment. You're you're not going to be throwing back the stuff that they're doing just from a financial standpoint, even if you were drinking, I don't know if you're going to be ordering, you know, a five hundred dollars bottle of wine. So that's one aspect which that can get complicated enough when you're at a friends group setting and you're out because even because me, even as someone who drinks, I don't want to pay for someone's one hundred and fifty dollars bottle of wine that they ordered. And I'm not gonna drink like if I'm if I'm having a you know, if I'm having what I'm having and I have two of those, let's say let's say I get two top shelf martine they're fifteen sixteen bucks. Okay, that's thirty bucks that I've spent and you are buying one hundred and fifty dollars bottle of wine.

11:07 I'm not splitting that check with you. And then your situation is that additional layer of you don't drink at all, so you're really not going to split that check. And I don't blame you. I'll tell you right now. If you me and my wife went out to eat, let's say, to Hoviers, and obviously she and I are going to have a margarita or two, you're not. I'm not going to expect you to split that bill evenly. You know why, because I think about these things, and I'm considerate. I think about other people as opposed to just myself and my you know. Like I said, if it had been just everyone had a round of drinks, I would have just said, fine, you know, and just yeah, here, I'll pay whatever, you know, divide it by ten here, Okay, I'm not going to quibble over what ends up being fifteen twenty bucks. I am gonna quibble over what's gonna be a couple hundred dollars.

12:04 Absolutely, and you shouldn't feel bad about that. And that's the thing that bugs me about this situation is, like you said, you had some people that are like okay, yeah, I get it, and then you had other people that are shooting, that are shooting you the dirty looks from across the table like you're some sort of a problem, when they don't realize that they are the problem. Well, so listen, I hate There are people that I quit going to dinner with because they would sit there, they would take a check and then like bust out the calculator and oh well I didn't really have any of that appetizer. So I'm not gonna it.

12:45 Ain't like that. I'm not cheap like I am with. I hate cheap people. You know, I go to dinner with somebody and they want to divide up the check like that and then they tip, like crap, I will not go to dinner with them. That's not the case. The case is, I just don't feel compelled to drink, you know, to pay for your excessive drinking. And you know, especially when like I said, you're talking about, yeah, they easily had a thousand dollars worth of alcohol, which a nice place, and like I said, ten people, is that really that much? No, But I'm not going to pay an extra hundred bucks just you know, to make their life easier or feel it.

13:32 And I am at an age now where it's like I have come to grips with my shortcomings as far as my professional and my status status in life, so I don't feel compelled to big time and you know go, oh well, yeah, okay, I'll do that too. No, yeah, especially a couple of them, like you pick this up, You've got no problem. But I think about rich people is that they're oftentimes the cheapest. The great ironies in life, they really really are. That's they kept their money. You know, they got a lot of money for a reason, and part of it is they don't spend it very easily. And they also don't like sharing it.

14:13 No, because that is also one of the one of the truths that happen in life is when you're poor, you're the most giving that there is. When you're poor, you're. Thinking, man, if I had twenty million dollars, I would give it to this and I would do that. If I had elon musk money, I would do this with it. I would do that with it. But it's interesting once you start making more money that then all of a sudden you're like man, this is nice. I'm going to hang on to this as long as I can, especially if you think it may not last. So, yeah, the whole money situation is a big enough wrinkle. Then throwing on top of it that you know, they're drinking a lot and you're just sitting over in the corner not drinking.

14:58 So it's a completely new layer to it. And it's not and my unwillingness to pay for their drinking has nothing again to do with I'm sober and they're drinking. And it's not like a refusal to pay for alcohol or some moral thing. It's just, you know, I didn't partake in this, so I'm not paying for it to you know, to the tune of a couple one hundred dollars. I got better things to do with a couple of hundred bucks. Yeah, it's still a financial thing. And it's not like as someone who's been sober for ten years, next Monday again, congratulations. And I know this personally, it's not like you're over there looking at everyone judging. You're not over there like just shaking your head like, oh their order, you really, Dan, you're getting another round. None of that ever happens. You're not being like a jerk about it. You're not, you know, being pushy with the sobriety or anything on anybody else.

15:52 So to me, you were very. Very perfectly pleasant social guest. And it and and look and this is I'm trying to think gathering my thoughts here. I've been in this scenario as well. There was one time, way way back. I mean, this is back when even Trey, you and I I'm not even sure if you and I had really even met yet. This would have been two thousand and two or three maybe. So my cousin Josh, My cousin Josh's two years older than I am. So he is getting married, right, this is back in the early two thousands. He's getting married. He invites me on his on his bachelor party trip. His bachelor party trip is happening in Austin. I'm like cool, sounds like fun.

16:46 So I go. And we're on a pontomboat on Lake Travis for the for the day, and then that night we're supposed to go to dinner and then go to you know, to the Yellow Rose. We're doing it up, you know, for an Austin bachelor party. Early two thousands. Yeah, a twenty something Austin bachelor party. And keep in mind, in two thousand and two, two thousand and three, this guy's twenty one, twenty two, so and these guys are all a couple of years older. So I mean, yeah, it's we're all in our twenties. Is all going to be ugly. And I was the ugly guy because not because I had had so much to drink, but because I don't do well with motion sickness.

17:27 So this is what happened. We go to the lake. Yes, I drink, I have some beers, but even in my early twenties, I had already built up a tolerance enough to know that I know what my limits are, and I know that there's other plans later in the day. Point is we're on the lake all day and I'm a little nauseous from the boat. Then we get in the car to drive back to town, and you're familiar with Lake Travis enough to know that's kind of a windy road. And I got real car sick, real fast, so much so that I had to hang my head out the window and puke it all up. So I was not feeling good. Get back to the hotel, crash for like four hours, wake up and I just feel like ass. But I have to rally because it's my cousin's bachelor party, right.

18:15 So we go out to dinner to a Mexican place and I eat. I think. I ordered some food of some kind, but it wasn't much and I ordered no booz. I felt terrible. Meanwhile, the twelve other guys at the table are all ordering top shelf Margarita's. Those guys at this point in their life because they all went through Jesuit and you know, Bishop Lynch and stuff, they've all got good jobs already. I was still starting out in a radio career, so I was super poor, like you on your birthday dinner outing the other day.

18:55 I when the. Check came, I was not about to pay for everybody's four and five hop shelf Margarita's each when I had a tostada, and. I didn't care when that check came. And I have still where I was sitting at the opposite end of the table and this one guy was like, Hey, Dan, where's yours blah blah blah, And I was like, Oh, it's in there. He's like, but we need like sixty or seventy bucks out of you. I'm like, no, I threw in my twelve, Like, but we're splitting the check. I was like, yeah, I threw in mine, and I covered my cousin's stuff. I didn't have a sixteen dollars margarita in two thousand and two, let alone five of them.

19:38 I'm not paying for that same thing as you. I got the dirty looks the rest of the night. Everyone just thought I was a cheap skater or whatever. And it's like, I don't care. And it was amazing to me that they couldn't understand I'm not paying for something beyond what is reasonable. On so many levels. And I don't understand the mentality of people that don't understand that. How do you not grasp that you're doing the math on the check? You see on the bill, I pointed out, I'm like, this is what I had. I had this thing right there and that's it. Now look at all of your stuff. How does how does that compute in your mind?

20:19 Yeah? I don't get it. And that's you go. You know, hey, the birthday boy, you know, bachelor, go, he had this. Here's my share of this, plus mine I've contributed. You know, I'm not paying for your excessive drinking. Uh and especially and one of the things I do even to avoid that is I will always pull the server aside and say, hey, please put mine on a separate tab, so I don't it doesn't even get into this deal of oh, you know, we're just dividing this up. Knock yourself out. I'm not on your tab right, My my stuff is separate over here.

21:00 And that's and that's a brilliant move on your part, you know, as the person that's a there by themselves and b you know you're not going to be having all that stuff. So it makes it really simple to tell just bring me mine. One ordeal of you know, exactly what you went through at a bachelor party of oh, hey we'll just all divide it up. No I'm not, I'm not doing that, and yeah then okay, Well it's just you know, it makes it so much easier for the server. I go, I go here, Server, come here. But then after that, I'm like, you know what, I'll make it even easier. I put myself on a separate check y'all gonna all funck off. Want more Treehouse? Check out our YouTube exclusive shows at YouTube dot com. Slash at Treehouse on air.

21:52 This segment of the Treehouse is brought to you by Cook the FW Roofing and Restoration. To get your free roof inspection and property review, call eight three three Cook DFW. That's eight three three Cook DFW. You can also get roof estimates right there on their website when you go to cookdfw dot com. Also right now, they have a ticket promotion. So Daniel Cook went out there and bought himself a pair of Cowboys tickets for Thursday night October. I forget which date off the top of my head, but it's the game Thursday night against the Tampa Bay Buccaneers at AT and T Stadium in Arlington. He went out and bought himself a pair of tickets, and he's like, you know what, I can't go.

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23:18 All right, today is Wednesday, August twelfth, twenty twenty six. Let's celebrate today with some birthdays. There are some good ones today, Trey, and a lot of them. Are you ready buckle up for birthdays? Olympic women's rugby medalist Iona mar Is thirty ilanamar Ilonamar. I think that's it. Yeah, I know the one that we all sort of, I don't know, necessarily fell in love with, but captivated the captivated America's attention, and all of a sudden we all knew about women's rugby A because they were badass and be because she is the badass of the badasses on that team.

24:04 She is thirty today. Just running hose over left and right, and that's not a sexist thing to say hose. I would have said I said that about Herschel Walker and Earl Campbell in their days they also ran over hose so that I mean that as a non gender based hoe situation. Don't. No, I don't, actually I do, but the punchline was too easy. But no, I don't, I do. But no, let's see. So a happy birthday to her. She is thirty today. Pete Sampres from the Tennis World is fifty five. Pete Sampres did something to me back in the nineties that I thought was impossible.

24:50 He made me love tennis. Between him and Andrea Agassy, I was glued to tennis for like a year. I loved it. I yeah, I I loved that era of tennis. Sampress was so good, and I mean up until Rafa came along. But he he played with such finesse that it was it was interesting to watch. But yeah, that was that was a very entertaining time. The matches between him and Andrea Agassy were so much fun.

25:32 I mean, Andre Agassy was a guy that was already on the scene when Pete Sampras showed up, and they couldn't have been more opposite than each other. I mean, Andrea Agassy was loud and boy, I mean he wasn't like Jim McEnroe loud, but I mean like he was he had hair, and he had endorsements. He was like the rock star of tennis. And here comes Pete Samprass, who's sort of like the Kenny g but he's just smoking everybody. Agasy was like the boy of tennis when he first came out. Yeah, the long hair, which no one had. You know, it had been a very clean cut sport as far as the way they dress, haircut, facial hair, everything. Yeah, he was very much the the rebel as it were.

26:17 Which is why I still remember. One of his great endorsements was the Cannon Rebel m HM, one of the great one of the great promotion collaborations. But it was interesting. This is how much I was into tennis back in the day. I watched it so much, not just you know, with Pete Sampers and Andrea Acacy, but even watching him with the women's tennis with Steffi Graft because that was at the time when she was so freaking dominant. I even know that Pete Sampras was a phenomenal tennis player because he could beat you at your own game, and so he could be the guy hanging out on the baseline just smashing winners all day, or he could also do the serve and volley coming up to the net and play with that sort of touch and finesse. Most tennis players are only good at one or the other. He was able. He was capable of kicking your ass either way.

27:07 That's how much I was into tennis back in the day. Yeah, I am shocked, though, I fully and maybe they're not of age yet to really but you really would have thought if there was ever an offspring that we're going to be great tennis players, it would be the Andre Agassi Stephanie Graff kids. I remember the first thing I thought of when I heard that they hooked up. I was like, I don't know if this is for love or just for legacy, because my god, their kids, Oh Jesus, I have no idea what their kids do. I don't honestly, I don't even know if they have kids. Hang on. I will say this though, like, even as someone that doesn't have kids, and I don't think anyone should ever be forced to have kids based on some sort of societal expectation. I do have a little bit of hypocrisy running through me when it comes to truly get exceptional humans.

28:01 When you've got an Andrea Agassy and a stepfie Graff in a relationship. I kind of feel like they should have kids just because their genetics are so freakishly good that I want to see their offspring do stuff. So that they had two kids and they said, uh, they did not push them to become tennis players, and I'm guessing they didn't because at this point they would be twenty five and twenty three years old. So that's that's old by tennis standards. Huh. That doesn't seem like a waste of genetics, though it does. Right, It's such a hypocritical thing because again, even I think it's great that they didn't push their kids into tennis, but I kind of wish they had.

28:46 Yeah, like I get it. But at the same time, I mean, it seems like a waste of talent. Yeah, it's interesting how that happens though, because look, I realized that. But I also will say this, of all sports you read about tennis players, their lives are pretty miserable, like because they're generally singled out as talented in the I would say seven to nine year old range, and then that's their life because most of them they're teetering on becoming pro mid teens. Yeah, so I do understand that, especially stephie Groff, who was German.

29:37 I think so. Yeah, and their training regiment, especially because part of that goes pre pre democracy and going back to the Cold War. What they did to kids for you know, they thought were athletes was even worse than anything Americans dreamed of. Yeah, all right, that's just a tip of the uh, that's just a tip the iceberg. When it comes to birthdays. George Hamilton is eighty seven Hollywood Icon and the Tanning King. Like we mentioned the Cannon Rebel camera collaboration as being phenomenal with the Tennis Rebel Andrea Agassy, I think one of the great advertising campaign collaborations was George Hamilton and Extra Chrispy Kentucky Fried Chicken. Bruce Greenwood is seventy. It's an actor. You may not know him by his name, but you know him by his face. He played He was in Star Trek as Captain or Admiral Pike. I believe The Resident thirteen days Gerald's game. Yeah, you see his face and you're like that guy. Yeah, he's been in tons of stuff.

30:52 Did you ever watch The Resident? I did not. Fascinating show. Uh. He had a guest He had a guest turn on mad Men for a handful of episodes. He was really good in that the Resident starts it is and it's sadly it was a very good show. And then and I'm not saying this to be political or anything else. It's just a fact post COVID, a lot of riders got very woke and and what they did, and especially in medical stuff, and the show takes a dramatic turn, and it also loses some keep players because a couple of the people were like, Hey, family's too important.

31:38 I don't. I don't. I want to be close to family, not doing this crap. Uh. But it's worth a watch, especially like the first three seasons. I haven't seen it, so I can't speak to the quote unquote wolkeness of it. I will say, just like at a certain time, I think that word gets thrown around too much. But I will say absolutely Hollywood at different times. And it's in a phase right now where it gets real preachy. Even if I agree with some of the stuff they say. Even if I disagree with some of the stuff they say, sometimes I don't like being spoken down to.

32:20 So I'll give you the greatest example in my that I can think of. There was a show called New Amsterdam Ryan Eggeld, and it started off. It was a fantastic show. Was this the one with Tyler Bean bearded guy from Tucker and Dale Versus Evil? I think it is? Let me. Yes, Tyler Leban, Yes, yeah. I wanted to watch that show because I'm a huge fan of Tucker and Dale Versus Evil. I love Tyler Bee, but I never did. And he starts off great, and then you know, towards the ladder part. I mean, like one of the storylines was a kid got a brain tumor because of racism, and I'm not making that up. So it just it went.

33:11 It went sideways real fast after post COVID, all right, but it started off. I love Ryan Eggels. He was great in The Blacklist and phenomenal show. All right. Some mother birthdays if at. Nicole Brown fifty five, best known as Shirley on Community. She's also been in tons of game show talk show appearances. She was also the one in the elevator in Avengers Endgame with Tony Stark and Captain America. She's the one that recognizes Captain America and then rats him out to security and she says that there was this guy in a beat Nick in the elevator.

33:56 She was so community. He was a big one, and then she was. She was also Dwight's co worker in the office when he when he worked at Staples. That's a pull for you. Peter Kraus. Peter Krause is sixty one, best known nowadays for his role in the TV show Nine to one one. Other people may remember him from Parenthood. I remember him first in Six Feet Under on HBO, but but he will forever in our hearts for me and Trey be one half of the legendary show that did not see enough light of day Sports Night. Yep.

34:36 Love that show. Yeah, that show again. I feel like if Robert Gillem doesn't have a stroke and that is that show maybe survives another season or two. But phenomenal show. It was such a great show. It was Aaron Sore pre West Wing and ABC f' with that show so much. The executives just couldn't keep their hands off of it. And if you go back and watch that show, you can see it, you can hear it. It was a show that at one point had a laugh track because the executives thought it was too smart and therefore it needed it so that people watching it knew where to laugh.

35:28 I mean, you talk about. Just a classic example of media executives getting too much creative control over something and just almost ruining it. That's a great one. You're absolutely correct. And the other thing that made it so stupid, and it goes to one of those things that media executives do is that when they don't really understand something, they have a tendency to really jack with it or if they feel like they can't control it. One of the thing, and this is really hard to explain now, but at the time, late nineties, this is a show based on the boom of Sports Center. You know, Sports Center wasn't a thing even in the early nineties.

36:16 But then you get Keith Oberman, Dan Patrick Berman, I mean, all these big personalities and Sports Center. I mean, it's it's nightly viewing you are not gonna miss, especially the Sunday night big show. You weren't missing that show, and if you did, you know, you knew it came on again at midnight and you were gonna watch it then. So you already had people just fascinated by this and thinking, and they wanted to watch the show just because they felt like maybe given a little insight into the what goes on behind the scenes. And yeah, they just could not help to just kept jacking with that show. And but in its premise and especially the first season, it was magical.

37:06 Yeah, such a great show. Happy birthday. Peter Crusse sixty one. Casey Affleck is fifty one, baby brother of Ben, Academy Award winner for Manchester Manchester by the Sea. He was yes, also in Goodwill Hunting Ocean's eleven Gone Baby Gone, phenomenal actor in his own right. You know, there are just some parents that you gotta think they sit back and go, look at what I have created. The afflic parents got to feel that way. The Kelsey parents got to feel that way. I feel like the Affleck parents. I think Ben has you know, made them. Ben's been a little bit of a roller coaster. Ironically, Casey seems to be the more straight and narrow one these days.

37:53 Ish, but he even had like some like issues early Ocean type stuff as well. So I mean, look at look. They have contributed mightily to the creative industry and to Hollywood in general. So as parents, you got to think, yeah, look at what we did. And then also they got to sit back and think, and they also keep us on our toes. Yeah. Side note, I saw a story I think it was yesterday that Brad Pitt announced that he was drinking again after seven years of sobriety. Thank you for bringing that up, because since you were on the cusp of ten years of sobriety. I meant to bring that up at some point this week. It's such a weird thing in Hollywood now or just in society when on one end you say I am no longer drinking, and now we're getting the backside of it where someone says and comes out and says, I am back to drinking now.

38:48 What the hell? You'd be amazed it. Actually, your chances of sobriety decrease every year because so many people get the thought of I can control it now, and maybe you can't. Maybe you can't. Generally you can't, and and it's generally when people in AA they call it when you start drinking again or using you called you've gone out, and it's typically a horrible experience because you don't have the same tolerance or anything else, and it ends up gets very bad, very quick. And I just find I found it fascinating that, especially after all the crap he's going through with his family, of all the kids, you know, dropping his name and everything else, why would you decide that drinking is a good course of action, Especially you've read some stories where people were, you know, found him fairly unbearable in his drinking days. So yeah, it's it's it's a fascinating phenomenon, and it happens far more than you would think people with I mean twenty plus years, all of a sudden and they show back up in AA and you know they're getting a desire chip, which is, you know, like the first thing you get. It's you know, you want to stay sober for twenty four hours and like, holy crap, which I one of the things that keeps me sober is I didn't have the money to go to rehab or treatment or anything else. I had to do it

40:19 by you know, taking warm vodka shots to wean myself off. But I still I've first forty five days, I'm sweating through sheets at night shaking. I mean, it was a miserable experience, so miserable that I never want to do it again. You rod Dog did, Oh yeah, I didn't. Celebrities. Celebrities get like vacation retreats and things to clean up and stuff. Now, my friend Amy Newman, that you know quite well and who is responsible for my sobriety. She and I have always joked that if either one of us wins the lottery, we're going to rehab, not because because we need it, but because we feel like we got cheeted on the front end of sobriety, and you know, we want to spend you know, sixty ninety days finding ourselves and doing yoga and eating you know, you know, all natural organic food and smoothies and massages and all the stuff that you get with these really nice.

41:19 Rehabs, and you can really enjoy them on this and you'd be able to really enjoy them because you've already got the alcohol kicked. Oh yeah, I don't have to go through any of the of the withdrawals or anything. It's just it's it's a sixty day spa retreat me. That's how I want to find myself. Look, you've already kicked the booze. What's wrong with also doing a little eat prey love for yourself? For two three months. Yeah, and at least at least yours wouldn't be court ordered. This segment of the Treehouse is brought to you by us. If you go to Patreon dot com slash Treehouse on Air, you can subscribe the tree House Plus Super Plus or Ultimate tree House today and starting this week, our Ultimate Treehouse subscribers will get access to our now weekly live stream slash live taping of a tree.

42:16 House episode that happens actually on Wednesdays. That will happen. From now on once a week. That Thursday episode that we record on Wednesday. Ultimate Treehouse subscribers will have access to that to participate in the show in the chat room, watch us record it live, all that fun stuff. So if you would like more Treehouse in your life, subscribe today Patreon dot com slash Treehouse on Air. And I'll give this a tease because during that break we talked about a story that we're gonna say for tomorrow that is absolutely just every time when I read the story, I laughed and you can. You can't make this ship up because if it was just one, you'd go, okay, yeah mate, but the.

43:10 Two, yeah, she doubled up. Baby. That is coming up tomorrow's episode, which you can be a part of as we record it. Uh if you're an Ultimate Treehouse subscriber Patreon dot com slash Treehouse on air. All right, so that's tomorrow. Uh so great tease, thanking Trey. Now, before we get to the tiny Wiener update, No, Tray, that's not my new blog. Uh, we need to talk about the man in Florida. Of course, a man was caught sleeping in a jet Blue plane lavatory. Now, the headline threw me off at first, because I was like, what do you mean?

43:53 Caught? Like some guy was on a flight and he fell asleep in the bathroom for some reason, maybe because he had too much first clash him, I don't know. Maybe he took a pill to take the edge off of flying and he passed out in the bathroom during a flight. That's more found in the bathroom or discovered asleep in the bathroom. But then I started reading more of the story than I realized, Oh, no, he was actually caught because it wasn't the scenario I assumed it was. Yeah, the headline is misleading on this one. This one really makes you number one go. Airport security still has some problems, Yes. It does.

44:34 A Florida man is facing felony charges after deputies say he snuck onto a parked Jet Blue plane at Fort Lauderdale Hollywood International Airport and fell asleep in the plane's bathroom. Thirty two year old Samuel Prescott Lackey climbed a perimeter fence, entered a secured maintenance area, and boarded an airbus A three twenty that was undergoing maintenance. Workers discovered him during a routine inspection early on Sunday morning. Deputies say the incident delayed aircraft operations and cost Jet Blue about twenty four hundred bucks. He's been charged with burglary, criminal mischief, and trespassing on critical infrastructure.

45:14 I mean the rest of this is basically homeless people doing homeless shit. Yeah, I mean it's you know what, like they you know what, they really they really just want to clean bathroom like the rest of us on a road trip or. Just a place to sleep and out of the elements. And but. They're they're sneaky bastards they've. Do don't ever underestimate homeless ingenuity. Oh no, they're up there with with potheads as far as. M the you know, the saying necessity is the mother of invention.

45:56 Uh huh. It's absolutely true when it comes to potheads and homeless people. And sometimes I've been diagram overlaps, but when you get someone really desperate for something, they will find a way. A homeless person that is trying to find a way out of the elements to get some you know, peace and quiet, a place to sleep. Jumping over a perimeter fence at an international airport and finding your way into a park jet bathroom sounds pretty good. I mean, there's layers of protection there that you don't have to worry about. Now. I'm traveling right now and we're in Portland, which has a pretty fair amount of homeless people in the area we're staying. It is known as the Pearl District, so it's not downtown, and there's another area of Portland called Old Town where I guess I've been told there's more of the homeless shelters over there, so it's worse. But where we are is you know, ten fifteen blocks or something, so it's close enough to where there is still a fair amount of homeless contingent around here, and it's amazing to see some of their ingenuity. If they don't have a tint. They collect umbrellas to kind of create their own little tinted dome, so it protects them from the elements. Also, they're really really messy. Not all of them, but some of them are really really messy, which is truly fascinating to me because to me, it's sort of like if you're inside your home and you're on your couch, it's not normal to be surrounded by your trash. Right, Some

47:30 of these homeless people, especially one I call Pigpen, who was hanging out by a bench outside the place where we're staying here for like two days, she just surrounded by her own trash. Never picked it up, Like it's right, it's one thing if you're homeless. And she was a horrific drunk because she was chugging margarita, like bottles of like the like pre mixed margarita stuff. Just surrounded by trash. When you wake up, just pick that up. I don't, Oh god, I mean. Like, it's one thing to be sleeping on a bench outside because you're homeless, but just to be but to be messy on top of it.

48:14 Come on, let's see if I can find uh. If you ever want to see uh Google, like Austin Homeless Barton Creek. Oh no, uh like at the Springs, Oh god, I. Mean they they absolutely trashed just giant areas. Yeah, because of that thing. It's amazing. They'll pick up trash that they think is useful, but they do not throw it. They will just leave it wherever when they have no use for it anymore. But yeah, that's a I mean.

48:58 And I have seen plenty of videos from the Pacific Northwest Portland, a lot of them. Like I said, if you haven't seen them, the David Attenborough AI narrated like tweaker Safari I think is what they call it. Absolutely yeah, first class. I've seen it with my own eyes without the Attenborough voiceover. So I'd like to see some of that. And it's interesting because there's like this lady that I'm talking about that you know, was sleeping on the I'm staring at the bench right now. I'm on the third floor. I can see it. She's not there now, but she's since moved off. But at one point there were like three different responses to her that people would walk by and they'd be.

49:43 Worried about her or whatever. There was There's like a neighborhood response team in a van came and checked on her. Someone called nine to one one one night, and I know that because I saw them looking at her. They were on the phone. And then the fire department showed up. Fire department was there for like, I don't know, a minute and a half, and I was like, man, that we can do uh. And then a third was like a neighborhood patrol thing that checked on it. So, I mean there's people checking on them and stuff. So but and I'm. Like, my heart I hate seeing homeless people, Like my heart hurts for them, like I and especially I mean, and this sounds bad, I know, but especially like if they have dogs, they have animals. I am even more Like before we had that last freeze in January, I went around and I tried to give little packages of some food and dog food to these people and hope they found a place to stay. Yeah, and we just as a society have done a horrible job. And a lot of it is government, like Houston is actually doing a great job of homelessness. But they what they did is they quit paying all these external groups and they basically said, hey, we're going to have a city department and we're going to take care of this on our own and have done so quite effectively at about, you know, twenty percent of the cost of everyone else.

51:10 Good on them. Yeah, it's such an interesting thing with the homeless thing, because, yes, homeless people can be very necessity, mother invention can the ingenuity is really fascinating at times, the survivability and the things that they have to do to just sort of just live. And sometimes, like you, my heart goes out to the homeless. Sometimes it doesn't, because I've known people sometimes that have been homeless and it was basically their choice and certain choices they've made that led them there versus some homeless that and this is a common one I see is a schizophrenic type. I mean a lot of the homeless people I see are people walking around having conversations with themselves and it has nothing to do with anything they've done. It's just an affliction that they've got and it's and they're just kind of cast out.

51:59 I think. I think it still holds true that at least half of homeless people are bipolar schizophrenics that just won't or take their medicine and they ended up kind of getting lost. Yeah, but it this is and this is an interesting rub when it comes to the homeless, especially here in the Pacific Northwest. You can play a game which is homeless or hippie, because sometimes. You can't really tell. And because there's some people that I assumed were not homeless just because they had a Patagonia backpack, but then I've seen them four or five times nosing through their trash and I'm like, oh, they actually are homeless. You will see someone sleeping on a park bench with their head resting on a north Face coat. I swear to god, I was taking the dog for a walk at the park.

52:52 This was this morning. This morning. A guy's on the bench, lying down, got a coat over him, got a Blend make it over, and he's got a couple of umbrellas. He's surrounded by trash. He is scrolling things on his Apple Watch. It's amazing to see. I saw a guy at the same park last week. Homeless, but he was scrolling social media on his phone. It's amazing. So some of them, yeah, my heart goes out to him. Others I'm like, you just asshole, all right.

53:36 Finally, the tiny Wiener updig Michael Phillips, the man who is self professed to be the man on earth with the tiniest penis micro penis at point three to eight inches. We followed his story a little bit over the last couple of years. He went public on television, online, He's talked to TMZ, He's talked to morning shows on television, and he finally turned that into a fundraiser to get money for some type of an enlargement procedure for himself and now and that he has raised enough money for it. He initially in his fundraisers said I need about six thousand dollars for this enlargement procedure. He raised over twice that amount, something like thirteen thousand, five hundred dollars, which, honestly, I thought, you know, people throw money at really stupid stuff these days.

54:29 I thought he would have gotten a lot more money than that. I would have thought anything until I read what he's having done. I would have assumed that a penis enlargement procedure was far more expensive. I mean, a good boob job is going to run you, you know, probably twelve grand these days, so I expected it would be a lot more. I'm with you, like, for six thousand dollars, what's he gonna get like, what's the procedure we talked before, you know, because short of a transplant, what can you really do for that affliction? Right, So Michael told TMZ his appointment is scheduled for August seventeenth with a doctor in Charlotte, North Carolina. This is where he'll get an injection of semi permanent dermal filler, which will increase the girth of his penis by about ten to thirty percent. In his case, that's roughly point five to one point five inches, depending on the amount of product used.

55:34 So for six thousand dollars. He's gonna get an injection of some filler that will not increase his length, but his girth by half an inch, maybe up to one and a half inches. Which I'm so confused at this, I huh, I would have thought, being that, you know, the stat of being the world's smallest penis is point point three to eight inches. Yeah, that's what he's got. And he and the story talks about that he's had doctors now tell him that he just needs to wear it depends because he has problems urinating. I I'm guessing because he can't find it or it's just can't. I don't know, but yeah, you would have thought he was gunning for some length, not with.

56:24 I'm with you, man, when it's when? When? When? When? When? You so, let me get this straight. You can make it wider, but not longer. When you're down there, can you stretch it out a little bit of a procedure like just see what happens? You know, makes she just look down at your own and go, hey, good job, buddy. Yeah, it really does make you. It appreciate what you have no matter what it is, as long as it's not that I'm okay, I am okay.

57:09 Yeah, that's ah. I feel like here's the other thing. If you're gonna raise money, shoot for the stars, don't don't tell people at six thousand. I mean, I think that's probably one of the things that where he didn't raise a lot of money. He should have. You been saying, yeah, you know it's gonna be a fifty thousand dollars procedure. Well, clearly he's not a big picture guy. Oh, it's the little steps. Micro steps, micro steps, dribbles.

57:50 Oh, if you like what you heard here today, share it with a friend and together we can grow The Treehouse show also give us a follow ones social media at Treehouse on air and check out our YouTube YouTube dot com slash at Treehouse on air. We will see you next time, right here inside the Little Treehouse