Weird Things To Put In Your Body | Tuesday 02.10.26

0:00 Want more Treehouse, check out our YouTube exclusive shows at YouTube dot com slash at Treehouse on air. It is time believe your warriors outside and laugh with us inside the Treehouse. I'm Daniel Malley along with Trey Trentholm and Raj Sharma. I hope you've had a good start to your week, kind of like how excited I was at the end of my week last week when I saw one of the biggest headlines I have seen coming out of the Olympics in recent years. Maybe not necessarily as newsworthy as Michael Phelps winning tons of gold medals or whatever else happening blah blah blah, but more specifically the accusations that men's long jumpers, that men's ski jumpers are pumping up their wieners with hyaluronic acid so they can fly farther in Olympic ski jumping. And I know what you're thinking, wouldn't a bigger wiener produce more drag therefore not make you fly as far? But you don't know physics.

1:23 Or the Olympic village. It's just a group of just a group of athletes waiting at the bottom of the hill and say, hey, he's got to come down sometime. The viscidity, the acidity in that will destroy your wiener. You know, when when you're in the middle of something like that, you're not necessarily thinking about long term effects, you're thinking about short term success. Well you have You're gonna have short term for the rest of your life now. So this is probably one of the best explainers that I've found when it comes to the penis injecting ski jumpers at the Olympics. This is from Reuters.

2:13 Doping officials are currently investigating whether male ski jumpers are artificially enlarging their penises to cheat. Nope, I'm not kidding. The German newspaper Build raised concerns about athletes manipulating the three D body scanning measurements used to size competition suits. Ski Jumpers wear skin tight suits that are carefully measured to ensure there's no extra material that could provide more left during flight. The crotch area can only extend to the bottom of an athlete's genitals. According to the paper's report, some athletes may be injecting hyaluronic acid to temporarily enlarge the penis, which would also allow for a larger more aerodynamic suit. The World Antidoping Agency is exploring whether this alleged practice constitutes doping. Last year, Norway's Olympic medalists were suspended for secretly adjusting the seams around the crotch area of their s. It's at the twenty twenty five World Ski Championships. Three coaches were also banned. Hetchoriters dot com for updates.

3:07 Goddamn Swedes and they're cheating crutches. This is the only time you whatever one of black long jumper. I've been thinking about this all weekend. Where now yeah, I have. I can't help it, not for any weird reasons that you're thinking, Trey. You walked into that joke, brother, Sorry. You did, I have I've been thinking about uh no, but yes, so it makes you wonder that and if like in like in the Sweetish Side, they had three coaches that got banned or kicked out whatever they said, it was because of their involvement in their own Norgians.

4:11 Yeah Norway. Oh, I thought I thought you said Swedes. Okay, Norwegians. Sorry, so you got the Norwegians Jimmy and their their squirrel suits for the ski jumping and they all get you know, suspended or kicked out of the sport for it. Uh. And some of these countries take the Olympics very very seriously, like Russia, like they'll they'll see if you were going to be sort of slated for a certain sport based on you know, biology, you know, jeans, heredity type of stuff. Now it's like, okay, well, if you have a big enough schlonger, then maybe we want you to go into ski jumping because you get more material for the suit. Conversely, I keep thinking about that French pole vaulter from the Summer Olympics a couple of years ago whose junk was so big it knocked the pole off of you know the thing. Yeah, well yeah, his pole knocked off the pole, which made where his jump didn't count. So now what they should do is, you're in their own sport. You need tiny junk for that, so you don't want to hitting the you know, the crossbars you go over. So what they should do is just slide him over into ski jumping and he might still be flying across the athlete's village. I'm just saying that there's an opportunity here.

5:36 I mean, there's an opportunity for cool Runnings too. I can't wait to see the team pick that up and carry it across the finish line as John Candy looks on with pride. God, I'm just saying, it's uh aalarnic acid into your junk like that's I think that's as white as it gets. I don't know what what what else you guys can do? Ah, Look, I'd love to fight you on that, but yeah, it's I don't think there's many people of color.

6:21 At the Winter Olympics, correct in general, but especially the ski jumping. Yeah. If you see me flying down a mountain, uh, you were old somebody money. Shouldn't he be wearing skis? Nope, we don't want him to just land. We don't want him to land at all. He can testify. Oh God, I like, I know it's childish and I can't help it, but really mean that that headline was right at my algorithm all weekend. It's like it's social media new Oh this is the story Dan wants to see.

7:07 I can't believe how bad that would burn. Just to do that, I mean, just to just to give you know, just to game inches in a suit, But hyalouronic acid will burn horribly. Well, they use it in fillers now, so I'm gonna guess, well. That's if they're using So if it's medical graded, yeah, yeah, to be all right, but it'll still burn because you're going straight into cartilage. You're sticking a needle in your dick. Yes, that's that's cartilage. So yeah, but you're you're more focused on the fluid inside the needle trays, more focused on the needle itself like that, it's all gonna hurt. So and Ryers, I get it. It's weird to think by adding a couple of inches you'll add meters to your skin jump, when in reality the equation is well smaller than that. Uh, this is a really good graphic I found about it.

8:10 So you and you inject your Wiener with just the right amount of filler, and even if you only increase two centimeters for every two centimeter, for every two centimeter increase in Wiener size, okay, or that gives you a certain amount of excess material which increases your lift by five percent, And that five percent is equivalent to an extra five point eight meters in jump length. That's impressive. So I mean, if you add two inches you might get like five miles on your ski jump. These poor guys from Norway didn't even have a two centimeter dick. I think they beat the smallest guy.

8:59 But this also opens my eyes to something else I never even knew existed in the Olympics, is that the ski jumpers have to be like basically like their suits are basically laser cut to their bodies. It's for them and them only, which means someone has to do that on an official basis. Well, that's why I was wondering why the coaches got fired, because I'm sure they were the ones sowing the no. I think it's part of the Olympic committee that does like the scanning of the suits. Wow, and then they're basically handed out like, okay, this is your suit because we measured the with the body scan and everything. You're this big, So I guess the injection your wiener is temporary, so when it goes down it was big when you got scanned for the suit, so you get the extra material which adds the lift.

9:50 But wouldn't the scanner have been there four years ago, like and just see like spin and be like, hey you got thick. You been working out. I know if they keep scans on file and compare previous years. Dan, did this make you question your your choice of vocation? You wish you had gotten into suit making. I'm gonna give you credit there because that was not the direction I thought you were going to go in. Save here.

10:31 Just me and my own sweatshop. Well, you're you're floating for a different reasons. That's right. You're listening to The Treehouse. Visit us online that Treehouse on air dot com eight three three. Cook d f W is the phone number you will need to contact cook DFW to get your free roof inspection and prop review. New from Cook DFW is the Know Your Home Show. It's available on YouTube, dropping episodes every other Tuesday. For more information, go to cookdfw dot com or like and subscribe on YouTube YouTube dot com slash at cook DFW. Daniel. So we've got the show underway. We're helping homeowners with approachable ways to make their homes safer, a little more manageable, and just to know the home better. In addition to that is storm related things. We've covered that on the show already.

11:32 How storms and severe weather can affect your home, Specifically, hail, one of the worst culprits to damaging the homes. What's one of the biggest chunks of hale you've seen in your business? Personally about a three inch helstorm. That was the largest one I've seen. Now, granted we get out there. Sometimes you're out right after the event. People will call us because they have holes that coming in their windows, are actually coming through their decking of their house, you know. So those are usually when we find the largest ones. And then the next morning, believe it or not, there'll still be piles of hell around people's homes. Because when you have a substantial hailstorm, you're talking about large quantities, and so it doesn't melt usually overnight. It's usually setting there the next morning in the little Covis's and your yards are still covered. And when hell comes down in those large storms, it knocks all the leaves off, almost all the trees. You can even see concrete and grass because there's tree debris over everything in the neighborhood. So, I mean, if you ever drive through after a hell event, it's astonishing. It looks like a war zone almost. I mean, you got, like I said, there's landscaping debris everywhere. There's all those people's personal effects, you know, things from their landscaping, their backyard. I mean, you got bikes in the middle of the street, skateboard, I mean, it's just it's crazy.

12:49 But yeah, three inch. But I do know that South Texas gets a lot of the large large hill. Last year, I want to say it was a six and a half inch I think stone that came down. It was one of the largest ones ever recorded, So it's substantially what thing come out. And then even in Ralette, I think that was like twenty sixteen, they had hell the size of cantelopes coming through and it was so powerful it was actually coming through the people's roofs all the way through the decking into their home. Oh god. There were actually people that had claims on furniture, breaking glass tables. I remember specifically there was a refrigerator that got put on pictures in the network and it had a dent in it from the hailstorm coming through the decking and hitting the refrigerator. I don't know how many people can say they actually had a refrigerator on the Hell clane.

13:54 You're in the Treehouse, visit us online at Treehouse OnAir dot com. This segment of The Treehouse is brought to you by Cook DFW Roofing and Restoration. To get your free roof inspection and property review, call the Cooks today at eight three three cook DFW. That's eight three three cook DFW or the website cook dfw dot com. Are you guys familiar with the phrase does a bear in the woods? Now? Let me just use that phrase in a new light. Okay, if a bear in the woods, would you then break it down into liquid form and turn it into a beer and drink it?

14:44 No, if I'm any place where I there are wild bears, I'm getting the fuck out of there. That's a whole different version of toilet wine. From Columbia Sportswear and Oregon's Breakside Brewery comes Nature calls beer made from bear poop. Yeah, what are you guys doing? This is not me, This is not Trey. We're disgusted by this as well. Hang on, there's white, and then there's the Pacific Northwest.

15:27 There's white. Then there's granola white. This is the Granola White having too much free time with their craft bruise or in this case, their craft bruise. Oh boy, Yeah, it was a ridiculous idea. And for Columbia Sports, where that was the point for a promotion built around Super Bowl sixty. The Portland, Oregon headquartered outdoor apparel maker wanted to poke fun at the traditional beer ads that run during the biggest TV advertising event of the year. But to do that, they needed a beer. According to Ben Edmonds, brewmaster and co owner of Breakside Brewery, the Portland, Oregon brewery that made the beer, he says this was spearheaded by Columbia. I like how he likes to say, is Columbia's idea, but they only lid like a small role and it's like, no, man, you need to own your part in this. As ridiculous as beer made from bear scat might sound, breweries breweries have made beer with all sorts of headline grabbing ingredients, including sheep dung, smoked malts, and whale testicles. I like to point out, maybe go out on a limb here that the the home brewing stuff has got to stop. You're just going outside and forging stuff you found and turning it into beer. Stop it.

16:52 Hey, if you can go outside and forge whale testicles, you earn the beer. You know what? You have to ferment everything you find sometimes just some hops is fine. Yeah, I just like a middle light good. Golden wheat thumbs up for me. I'm good. I just I just I just Nature Calls people actually taste tested this, and yeah, it's from the people at the Oregonian. So good on them. They said, what does it taste like? They said they wanted it to taste good. Well, good job.

17:32 What they basically did was they went out found some bear poop, took it back to the brewery and took it like like downstream water from bear poop basically and filtered it all out. But use that water in the making of the Nature Calls beer. So it comes from filtered bear poop. Oh that makes it better. Sure, I mean you're filtering out the paras science, you're filtering out the I guess. Some salmon sperm in there though, you. Know, Oh oh yeah, just for the right viscosity. I don't I don't.

18:19 Do you add an orange to it? Do you put an orange or a lime? Oh? I don't know if it's uh, I don't know if it's recommended to come with any sort of a fruit accompaniment. Oh okay, interesting, Yeah, that I'm not sure about. Maybe a Marishina cherry. I mean that's dipped in bleach, so that might as well. It might be a nice compliment with any luck, it'll kill me so before I have to taste the bear boop, I just I don't. Look. I'm all for people promoting stuff and finding an angle to promote their company, promote their products, like this is gonna be good for the brewery. Perhaps I don't want to take their tour ever now. No, and I like Columbia sports Wear as a product line.

19:10 Thankfully. The shirts I have of theirs, I don't, as far as I know, don't have bear poop in them. As far as you know, as far as I know, I would think they'd have to disclaim that somewhere. It could have been on the tag that you didn't read. Surprisingly enough, I read my tags. Interesting. Okay. Yeah, I am weird that way because if I find a shirt or pants or something, but especially shirts, if I find a shirt that I really really like, I want to find out the material breakdown. So if I see similar shirts from other places, I like like, oh I like this, I like this combination of cotton and laste or whatever. So yeah, I'm weird like that. Yeah. So if it was like cotton spandex bear poop, you would stop, you wouldn't buy the shirt.

20:00 I don't know. It depends on how soft it is. I'm not eating the shirt and this as long as it doesn't smell like beer poop. Whoever is in charge of Columbia's you know, advertising, they should be fired. That's all I think. You think this is going the way of bud lights from a few years. Well, let's let's let's let's look at the big picture here. You've just had as far as you know, like mountain climbing, you just had a guy scale a sky skyscraper. Mountain climbing has been gotten more pr lately. You couldn't feed off that. You mean like an Alex Honold poop beer.

20:42 Or just an Alex Honold commercial. I mean, I I can think of a lot of things, a lot of documentaries where you could come up with really cool advertising things for Columbia the outerwear brand. Why an outerwear brand wants to poop? And I mean, if you're looking at the angle, it should be an underwear brand. Because when I watched it, I shipped myself. So just to clarify, hear the Columbia Sportswear Company and the Oregon Brewery Breakside joined forces. But if you read what the statement is, I feel like the brewery is like saying they had a gun to our head.

21:29 Well I think so, and I think the gun was kind of like a bag of money and a gun because they're like, look, we got this idea, we want you guys to do it, and they're thinking, as a business, well, we can't turn this down. But we don't want people thinking it's our normal product, and we don't want people thinking it was our idea. I mean, if you're you're in the Pacific Northwest, I think the only person, the other person that you can't say no to is Phil Knight. Yeah, m hm, Nike, Yes, so nature calls beer. The bear poop is sourced from Montana, oh was infused into water from the Bull Run River before being treated and used to brew a light lagger with honey and huckleberry.

22:17 M I prefer my poop from Wyoming, you snow, I'm a boozie bitch. I can't help. Get that Montana here, Wyoming or nothing at all, preferably from Cheyenne. I mean, is this going to be the first of many River beers.

23:01 I mean, oh, trust me, I went to school in Sant Marca's there's a lot of river. Beers of like a nice co ed I p A made from the piss. Of Texas Lake Austin beer. This this tastes like a nice tri delt. A word of warning, though, when when you decide to pick up the I p A from Texas A and M and the court.

23:48 This tastes like hate and violence. From Texas A and M Breweries, gagam. You're in the treehouse, visit us online at treehouseonair dot com. Do you feel restless and anxious, feel like something's missing in your life? Maybe you just need a little more Treehouse in it. Go to patreon dot com slash Treehouse on Air and check out all the bonus features of subscription offers, including bonus shows, behind the scenes content, special subscriber only live shows, and so much more. That's patreon dot com slash Treehouse on Air. That's pa t r e o in dot com slash Treehouse on Air.

24:38 You're listening to the Treehouse. Visit us online at treehouseonair dot com. If you would like even more Treehouse in your life than you need to go to our Patreon Patreon dot com slash Treehouse on Air and subscribe to Treehouse Plus, super Plus or Ultimate Treehouse to get even more Treehouse in your life that includes our Super Bowl sixty plus episode that came out yesterday. Subscribe the Treehouse Plus and you can get that today. Patreon dot com slash Treehouse on Air. I was racking my brain in the break talking about the when nature calls beer that's made out of bear poop from the Columbia Sportswear Company and the Brakeside, Oregon or the Brakside Brewery out of Oregon, which missed opportunity to call it backside for this promotion, and I was like, I know, this sounds familiar, using wild animal stuff for beer, right, And I was like, God, this sounds similar. I feel like we've done a story similar to this before, and I think we did. Beaver butts, or more specifically, beaver sack excretions have flavored more foods and beverages than we realize, which is a substance from beaver anal glands has been historically used as a natural flavoring in foods and beverages, including craft beers or spirits. Although rarely. They said, it

26:13 adds vanilla, raspberry, or woody notes, but of course it is FDA approved, but it's rarely used today due to cost and scarcity. Probably also the consent of the beavers might play a role. They say that while it's often cited in general, it's primarily used in specialty or niche products like ooh d'a musk, which is a bourbon or a Scandinavian. Schnaps, or Buckie's beaver nuggets. I mean, maybe not specifically in there, but maybe inspired by because there are some vanilla notes in the beaver nuggets. Okay, yeah, I saw it. It rained familiar and I wanted to share it with you. So there you have it. Bear poop and beaver sacks, beaver anal gland excretions are FDA approved, and I just I just don't understand. Well, I mean, it's organic, all natural, so is mine.

27:29 Are you gonna drink my beer? Yeah? I'm never gonna trust anyone that's home brewing, Never gonna trust him ever again, Like, what's in this? You're gonna drink it? Do you mind doing that? Downstream? Please? Did you learn nothing? Did you learn nothing watching all those bear girls shows where he's drinking water out of elephant poo and stuff. And then goes to the four Seasons. Yeah, behind him so cold? All right, cut, bring on the road back to the five Star on the other side of these trees.

28:09 Did you ever see the catering list from that show? Yeah? It was really good. It sounded yummy. I mean it sounded like a really good all inclusive resort. No, no, no, these just just the catering that was on set. It was like lobster and cakes and muffins and fruit and this was just right off camera and he's like, I'm about to eat this, and it's like cut and then the he walks over and has a lobster. Imagine the lobster is probably a good palate cleanser after you just drink elephant shit water. That's an I p a. Dan. There was one episode of that Bear Girls show that I stood. I mean there's a number that I that I remember, but there was one of like he.

28:56 Got it. I got India poo ale yes. All right, I didn't get it that far, but I got. When I saw his face, I was like, somebody get this joke. There was one scene in one of his episodes where he pulls this huge worm out of this fallen log kind of a thing, and you just you know he's going to eat it. You know, you know it's coming, and but what you were not prepared for is when he bites into it, the juices of it shoot out and into the lens of the camera. So when it came out that they had all sorts of really fancy catering and he wasn't actually staying the night in rainy jungles next to pythons and scorpions and things, A, I was not surprised. B I feel like he earned it because the man did some really nasty, nasty stuff on that show, regardless of what it was like to shoot it behind the scenes. If he eats a Caribbean lobster grilled to perfection after he drinks water out of camel, who fine, by me, he's earned it.

30:13 I mean he's earned it for the fact that he got there because his parachute didn't open any plummeting into the earth and survived. Was that his origin story? Yeah, so I know he was. He was like British Special Forces, right, and then so during his time during Special Forces, his parachute didn't open and he had to survive and that's how he became famous. Or he was already out of the earth. He survived plummeting to the earth like it. Oh, I forgot how many bones? And then he was in the hospital forever and then came out. And I'm guessing that you know that life experience just gives you. I don't give up f attitude. And you know what I mean. Yeah, if you eat enough hospital food, you'll be willing to eat some juicy worms out of tree logs.

31:03 Brown people, we just die. That's just that's that's just what we do. Like if you survive the initial fall, you look over at the cliff that you didn't fall over and you're like, just screw it, just fling. You have to eat that worm or jump off this cliff. We're jumping, buddy, that's what we're gonna do. I would be the guy who's thinking, I'm just gonna try to walk off, like and then maybe I'll get lucky and find a seven eleven or something. And you're sending the brown guy to the seven eleven. No, no, nice for me, oh. For you, Okay, yeah, No, I'm not going to tell you to do that that would be racist. I'll greet you when you walk it, you do what you want.

31:45 All I'm saying is I'm not flinging if I survive the fall, I'm not flinging myself off another cliff just to finish the job. Uh. And I'm really going to try to avoid eating that juicy worm. I'm just gonna walk until maybe I get lucky and there's somebody's campsite that I get to rummage through. Worm or a big bite? Which one do you want? Which one do you think it's healthier? Healthier? Oh? Okay, that's easy. Which one I'd rather eat? Now you go in big bite. I'd rather eat the big bite, but I know that worm is healthier. Yeah, and certainly more natural.

32:28 Well, there's nothing natural about a big bite or they're chili or their cheese. I know this because I had one two nights ago. So look, just because something isn't quote unquote natural doesn't mean it's not delicious. In fact, the entire food industry, or portions of it, are built around that that some of the most delicious things that we eat are in no way natural kind of like uh, like a can of pringles that's not potatoes, Like they're not even a like if you read the can, it says potato crisps. It doesn't even say like it's not actual potato in there. There's like there's like some potato flake in there, but that's not a potato chip you're eating, cause you know, potatoes don't come in that perfectly formed scoop.

33:16 That was my favorite, one of my favorite Mitch headbreak jokes where they started off making tennis balls, but the balls didn't show up, but the cans did. Basically, he's like, he's like, you know what, what can we put in these? And they're like, we got a bunch of potatoes and the tennis balls didn't show up, but the potatoes did. And that's what they started putting them in. Looks like tennis ball cans. That's exactly what it does, all right. Last thing, speaking of unnatural things, you guys big in a door dash. I'm more of an uber eats.

33:57 Okay, Tray, you're shaking your head. No, I think like to cook a lot more. You try to stay away from the food deliveries. I yeah, I if I want something bad, I mean occasionally I'll have something delivered, but generally if I want something I can get off my ass and go get. It fair enough, Well, you may this may cement your strategy. A door Dash driver was recently fired after being caught touching herself then handling customer's food. Yeah, an Ohio customer caught her door Dash driver on video placing her hands down her pants while delivering her delivery food. The incident reportedly happened in real time, prompting her to throw the food away and contact door Dash immediately. Door Dash confirmed that they fired the driver, but the driver is arguing that the the video doesn't tell the whole story.

35:04 I think that's kid from kidd and Play. This is a good time to remind you that if you would like to subscribe to Treehouse Pleasant see the video of this, you can. But I mean it's a ring camera. It's and an apartment complex. The lady's walking up with the food delivery. The food delivery is in her left hand, but she reaches down her first of all, she looks around, so she's, you know, she's thinking there's some privacy here. She takes her free hand and goes straight down the front of her pants and just goes to town like she's got an itch that really really needed to be scratched, and that's what she did.

35:45 And then she. Grabs the food and then she places it on the mat, takes the photo. Now, the scratching hand barely touches the food. It doesn't actually even touch the food. It touches the plastic bag around it. But then she goes and uses the same hand to touch her own phone. She touches her own phone with her itching hand more than she touched the food. I'm not saying that she that she shouldn't be fired or anything, and that this isn't disgusting, because it is. It's just, you know, I mean, it's not that bad. It's bad, it's just not as bad when you see it in context. Yeah, I mean, okay, I mean I see this and then she's like, hey, something itches right here, I gotta grab that real quick, and here's your pizza. And the phone thing is gross because I think it gets to her head, right, does she or is she just texting?

36:42 I think what she's about to take the photo of the confirmation to send. YEA, yeah, I mean sometimes you gotta sometimes you gotta scratch. I mean she should have waited till she got back to her super r. Her husky would have done it for her. Uh. All I'm saying is the next time you order from a scratch kitchen on door dash, you might be getting more than you bargained for. This is so why I do fast food. I will never look at when someone says scratch cooking. I will never look at it the same.

37:24 Yeah she uh, and and it was it if it was itching that bad? There, there's something happening with that girl. Yeah. I would also like to point out that if this offends you, don't ever eat barbecue again, because I have seen many of men smoke meats, and while they're smoking meats, their hands go down their pants numerous times for various itchings and scratchings. So just keep that in mind. Well, Dan, what happens at your backyard parties and what happens at barbecue restaurants are two different things. Okay, talk about smoked sausage.

38:08 Is that why you didn't come to my last barbecue? I'm sure enough people came at your Barbietree. Bring out the mop for all things Treehousetreehouse on air dot com and share the show with a friend that could use a laugh. Today from your favorite listening platform, hit that share button, send it to a friend, or share it on social media. We appreciate it, and together we can grow the Treehouse Show. We'll see you next time, right here inside the Treehouse