Sept. 24, 2026

Car Handjob Etiquette?! Reddit Asks the Important Questions

Show Notes
Transcript

Reddit never disappoints. Just when you think you've heard every possible relationship question, someone asks the one nobody knew needed an answer: What's the proper etiquette for a handjob in the car?

Naturally, this sends Dan and Trey down a rabbit hole of questions, scenarios and rules that probably shouldn't need to exist—but apparently do.

Then we expand our vocabulary when we discover exactly what a “piss missile” is, discuss what happened to the glory days of Monday Night Football, and remember the incredible career and legacy of Jim Henson.

And finally, we have an update to one of the most Florida stories we've ever covered: the woman who was arrested after police allegedly discovered four ounces of cocaine hidden in a place four ounces of anything probably shouldn't be.

It's Reddit, nostalgia, Florida insanity and entirely too much information on today's Treehouse Show.

About the show:

Leave your worries outside and join Dan O'Malley, Trey Trenholm, and their hilarious guests for laughs about funny news and viral stories with ridiculous commentary inside the Treehouse Show.

💻 The Treehouse Website

👑 Get MORE from the Treehouse Show on Patreon

📺 Treehouse YouTube Channel

🏠 Get a FREE roof inspection from the best company in DFW:
Cook DFW Roofing & Restoration

CLICK HERE TO DONATE:
The RMS Treehouse Listeners Foundation

WEBVTT

1
00:00:00.270 --> 00:00:03.890
Want more Treehouse? Check out our YouTube exclusive shows at youtube.com

2
00:00:03.930 --> 00:00:06.900
slash at Treehouse on Air. Do you have a storage

3
00:00:06.960 --> 00:00:09.279
unit that you've been holding on to for months, if

4
00:00:09.339 --> 00:00:11.839
not years? Do you tell yourself that this will be

5
00:00:11.880 --> 00:00:14.119
the month you finally go close it down after that

6
00:00:14.199 --> 00:00:17.640
rent payment clears? But it's still there, month after month.

7
00:00:17.940 --> 00:00:19.789
This is Trey from the Treehouse Show, and if this

8
00:00:19.820 --> 00:00:23.929
is you, you need OPT Services. Call OPT Services and

9
00:00:23.969 --> 00:00:26.109
they'll give you a free estimate on clearing out your

10
00:00:26.129 --> 00:00:28.719
storage unit But then they'll show you what separates them

11
00:00:28.739 --> 00:00:31.539
from other companies. They'll go through your items, separate the

12
00:00:31.620 --> 00:00:34.679
ones that have value, sell them, and split the profits

13
00:00:34.719 --> 00:00:36.880
with you. So you can finally close the door on

14
00:00:36.909 --> 00:00:39.350
that storage unit and make some money in the process.

15
00:00:39.549 --> 00:00:41.090
Give them a call or text today at 214-952-9831 or

16
00:00:41.109 --> 00:00:44.750
go to their website at nojunkinyourtrunk.com. That's nojunkinyourtrunk.com.

17
00:00:57.899 --> 00:01:02.439
It is time to leave your worries outside and laugh

18
00:01:02.460 --> 00:01:06.769
with us inside the tree house. I'm Dan O'Malley along

19
00:01:06.790 --> 00:01:14.310
with Trey Trenholm and Jerry Caldwell. There are certain subject

20
00:01:14.370 --> 00:01:18.140
lines that really catch my attention from Trey, especially when

21
00:01:18.239 --> 00:01:21.980
that subject line is nothing or especially when that subject

22
00:01:22.019 --> 00:01:24.000
line is simply hand job.

23
00:01:26.140 --> 00:01:27.129
Had a feeling that catch your eye.

24
00:01:27.939 --> 00:01:30.359
It certainly did. I feel like you've missed your calling.

25
00:01:30.379 --> 00:01:35.159
You need to be a headline writer over at Fox 4. Actually,

26
00:01:35.180 --> 00:01:36.659
you know what? Fox 4 is doing pretty good for

27
00:01:36.700 --> 00:01:40.640
themselves in the ratings. Maybe over at CBS. You get

28
00:01:40.879 --> 00:01:44.859
on at the Super Ones over there at Channel 11,

29
00:01:44.859 --> 00:01:49.980
and you start writing headlines like Handjob, CBS DFW is

30
00:01:50.000 --> 00:01:52.859
going to actually start competing with Fox 4 for local dominance.

31
00:01:55.060 --> 00:01:58.069
It may not be the dominance they... you know, ultimately want,

32
00:01:58.129 --> 00:01:58.849
but they'll get it.

33
00:02:02.109 --> 00:02:03.049
Yeah, it depends who's given them.

34
00:02:06.780 --> 00:02:08.240
Yes. Yes.

35
00:02:08.460 --> 00:02:08.639
Yeah.

36
00:02:08.759 --> 00:02:11.060
Good answer, Jerry. We don't need to actually name any

37
00:02:11.120 --> 00:02:16.219
names of people that we, but yes. So I've read

38
00:02:16.259 --> 00:02:25.370
these days. Wow. So when there's a subject line, just

39
00:02:25.389 --> 00:02:28.210
simply hand job, that's definitely the thing that I'm going

40
00:02:28.229 --> 00:02:32.069
to start with content. And if, you know, if you're offering,

41
00:02:33.699 --> 00:02:36.699
so now I'm going to read it completely cold or limp,

42
00:02:36.740 --> 00:02:38.979
as they might say, because I don't know what the

43
00:02:39.020 --> 00:02:42.680
rest of this entails. You got my attention. Now I'm

44
00:02:42.699 --> 00:02:49.180
just going to go with it. In the no stupid

45
00:02:49.259 --> 00:02:53.680
questions community. What's the etiquette when giving a hand job

46
00:02:53.840 --> 00:03:01.710
in a car? Um, again, without having read past this

47
00:03:01.819 --> 00:03:04.789
at all, I don't know if there really is any etiquette.

48
00:03:04.830 --> 00:03:06.810
It's like just getting one at all in the car

49
00:03:06.830 --> 00:03:09.210
is like, all right, this is cool. Like, like just

50
00:03:09.310 --> 00:03:11.530
doing it as the etiquette is just like, I don't

51
00:03:11.550 --> 00:03:13.870
think there is any etiquette. I think it, along with

52
00:03:13.909 --> 00:03:15.550
other stuff can just go right out the window.

53
00:03:17.370 --> 00:03:18.490
Thank you for that clean audio.

54
00:03:18.930 --> 00:03:20.030
You're welcome. Yep. Yep.

55
00:03:20.330 --> 00:03:20.490
Yep.

56
00:03:21.069 --> 00:03:25.669
As Jerry backs away is like, uh, so yeah, they ask,

57
00:03:25.689 --> 00:03:27.409
what is the etiquette when giving a hand job in

58
00:03:27.449 --> 00:03:30.909
the car? This feels pretty silly, but I'm honestly asking.

59
00:03:31.159 --> 00:03:35.409
I'm really more interested in the cleanup part because that

60
00:03:35.449 --> 00:03:37.870
turned out to be a problem in the recent experience

61
00:03:37.909 --> 00:03:43.270
that inspired this post. We got lucky. I found some

62
00:03:43.289 --> 00:03:46.969
paper towels and everything was okay. But what if you

63
00:03:47.009 --> 00:03:49.860
don't have that? I'm breaking away from the post now

64
00:03:50.080 --> 00:03:53.400
to say, I think it's always a good idea in

65
00:03:53.439 --> 00:03:56.759
your car to have like extra napkins or paper towels

66
00:03:56.800 --> 00:03:59.039
or something like in the glove box or the console,

67
00:03:59.759 --> 00:04:03.150
not in case an impromptu handjob breaks out, but just

68
00:04:03.189 --> 00:04:05.270
because sometimes like if you're eating in the car and

69
00:04:05.289 --> 00:04:08.689
then spillage happens, whatever, you have something there for cleanup

70
00:04:08.729 --> 00:04:14.479
purposes or for, you know, impromptu handjob. Back to the, oh,

71
00:04:14.490 --> 00:04:16.480
and the other thing I think is important to keep

72
00:04:16.509 --> 00:04:19.720
in your car at all times is like a spare outfit.

73
00:04:20.160 --> 00:04:22.560
Like even if it's just gym clothes, In case a

74
00:04:22.629 --> 00:04:26.199
really bad accident happens, like you get a sudden bout

75
00:04:26.259 --> 00:04:30.660
of dysentery or you need to change a tire and

76
00:04:30.680 --> 00:04:32.920
you happen to be dressed up and you need something

77
00:04:33.279 --> 00:04:35.439
sloppy to wear while you change the tire and back

78
00:04:35.480 --> 00:04:37.980
into the suit, it's always a good idea to keep

79
00:04:38.019 --> 00:04:41.920
a spare change of clothes in the car. Now back

80
00:04:41.959 --> 00:04:45.560
to the post. Found some paper towels and everything was okay,

81
00:04:45.660 --> 00:04:49.350
but what if you don't have that? Is the expectation

82
00:04:49.389 --> 00:04:52.949
that the person... is the expectation that the person giving

83
00:04:54.149 --> 00:05:01.430
should like to swallow it. I've got to admit, that's

84
00:05:01.470 --> 00:05:03.899
where my mind went. Well, sure, but at that point

85
00:05:03.939 --> 00:05:05.439
in my mind, it's like, well, it ceases to be

86
00:05:05.480 --> 00:05:10.199
a handy, and now it's turned into a blowy. Which,

87
00:05:10.319 --> 00:05:12.420
if you were going to do it at the end anyway,

88
00:05:12.459 --> 00:05:17.310
then why not just do it at the beginning? I'm

89
00:05:17.350 --> 00:05:22.389
applying a lot of logic to this scenario here. word

90
00:05:22.449 --> 00:05:27.220
lube might be uh required anyway uh goes back to

91
00:05:27.399 --> 00:05:31.259
asking uh what if you're not ready for that yet

92
00:05:31.959 --> 00:05:37.459
all right uh this person says i wasn't how else

93
00:05:37.500 --> 00:05:39.639
do you avoid just making a mess in the car

94
00:05:41.600 --> 00:05:45.040
does he open up his door and finish outside what

95
00:05:45.100 --> 00:05:49.269
if someone sees you don't do that That becomes, look,

96
00:05:49.329 --> 00:05:52.290
it's already borderline criminal, the activity that you're doing in

97
00:05:52.329 --> 00:05:55.410
the car. If you open up that car door and

98
00:05:55.589 --> 00:05:58.370
show it to the sunshine and everybody else, that's a

99
00:05:58.569 --> 00:06:04.410
real crime happening now. And then they sign off by saying,

100
00:06:04.470 --> 00:06:10.310
thanks for indulging me. Well, thanks for indulging him. Trey,

101
00:06:10.750 --> 00:06:12.970
this piqued your interest as well. What is the etiquette

102
00:06:13.370 --> 00:06:14.370
for giving a handjob?

103
00:06:14.610 --> 00:06:16.670
Dan, I sent this to you for a reason. I

104
00:06:16.709 --> 00:06:20.670
didn't know. So I expected. I expected you to be

105
00:06:23.850 --> 00:06:26.329
like the Emily Post of handjobs, Miss Manners.

106
00:06:29.500 --> 00:06:35.259
Miss Handers. Dear Abby, what is the etiquette for giving

107
00:06:35.319 --> 00:06:37.399
a handjob in the car? I want to see that

108
00:06:38.019 --> 00:06:42.519
in the Sunday paper. All right, look, I have thoughts, okay?

109
00:06:45.040 --> 00:06:48.529
First of all, ma'am, I'm assuming it's a ma'am. if

110
00:06:48.569 --> 00:06:53.250
you're not ready to, to receive the finishing product in,

111
00:06:53.470 --> 00:06:59.149
in such a fashion, then, then you have a couple options.

112
00:07:00.889 --> 00:07:03.480
One is you just, you just take your hand and

113
00:07:03.519 --> 00:07:07.439
you cover it kind of like you do when, uh,

114
00:07:08.060 --> 00:07:13.000
with a shaken soda bottle. Okay. Okay. it helps if

115
00:07:13.040 --> 00:07:15.199
you happen to have like a coffee cup in the car,

116
00:07:15.259 --> 00:07:17.480
that's art or a super gold cup in the case

117
00:07:17.519 --> 00:07:20.060
of a tray. And you can just put that over

118
00:07:20.100 --> 00:07:21.860
the top, kind of like you find a spider in

119
00:07:21.879 --> 00:07:24.259
the house. If you got that right over the top,

120
00:07:24.319 --> 00:07:27.819
that can contain it all pretty good. So you have

121
00:07:27.839 --> 00:07:29.220
to be out. So there's a couple of ways to

122
00:07:29.259 --> 00:07:31.339
go about it. If, if you're going to, and if

123
00:07:31.360 --> 00:07:36.329
you're going to engage in the, uh, the handy in

124
00:07:36.350 --> 00:07:39.550
the car, you need to plan ahead for these things. Hmm.

125
00:07:40.410 --> 00:07:40.550
Okay.

126
00:07:41.660 --> 00:07:44.779
Where's it going to go when it's done? Or are

127
00:07:44.800 --> 00:07:47.100
you just, and there's, and this is the fun way

128
00:07:47.139 --> 00:07:50.110
to go about it. You can just point it back

129
00:07:50.259 --> 00:07:57.649
towards him. And then it looks like he just spilled

130
00:07:57.709 --> 00:07:59.610
something all over his shirt and his belly.

131
00:08:02.550 --> 00:08:04.750
You know, as the guy, if you're the recipient, the,

132
00:08:04.870 --> 00:08:06.750
these are things you should have thought of.

133
00:08:08.050 --> 00:08:10.569
Yeah. I feel you.

134
00:08:11.879 --> 00:08:16.860
And yeah, at the very least, you know, cover the spout.

135
00:08:18.399 --> 00:08:21.040
Yeah. Oh, so you're saying don't try to.

136
00:08:20.959 --> 00:08:23.079
Bend it like don't try to crimp it like a

137
00:08:23.100 --> 00:08:27.910
water hose. Just if someone has a sock.

138
00:08:30.550 --> 00:08:32.929
Who has who has a random car sock?

139
00:08:33.590 --> 00:08:35.509
Well, if you got one on your foot, take it off.

140
00:08:36.490 --> 00:08:37.710
Well, that's going to ruin the moment.

141
00:08:37.730 --> 00:08:38.090
Hang on.

142
00:08:38.129 --> 00:08:41.659
I got to, I got to take off my sneaker here.

143
00:08:41.759 --> 00:08:43.539
Cause I hang on. I'm about to finish. Hang on.

144
00:08:43.559 --> 00:08:45.480
Let me take off my sock that I'm wearing. Now

145
00:08:45.559 --> 00:08:48.019
I'm walking around with one sock. That's no fun.

146
00:08:48.100 --> 00:08:51.379
You need to have these things thought of as it starts.

147
00:08:51.399 --> 00:08:54.210
This would be something, you know, you, you know how

148
00:08:54.289 --> 00:08:54.690
it ends.

149
00:08:55.389 --> 00:08:56.690
Hopefully, hopefully.

150
00:08:56.710 --> 00:08:56.990
Yeah.

151
00:08:57.009 --> 00:08:59.289
If it's, if it's any good. So, but you, but

152
00:08:59.330 --> 00:09:01.350
you said that the guy needs to plan ahead for this.

153
00:09:02.830 --> 00:09:06.029
I think so. Yeah. Ultimately it's, it's yeah.

154
00:09:06.440 --> 00:09:08.200
There's a good chance it's going to end up on

155
00:09:08.259 --> 00:09:09.340
him if you don't.

156
00:09:10.799 --> 00:09:13.360
If you would like to harbor an environment in which

157
00:09:14.059 --> 00:09:19.070
the person who's giving you the hand job feels that

158
00:09:19.110 --> 00:09:21.649
they can do that, then you should probably think ahead

159
00:09:21.690 --> 00:09:23.629
and make sure that you have on hand, like you

160
00:09:23.669 --> 00:09:26.970
said earlier, some kind of paper towels, napkins.

161
00:09:27.029 --> 00:09:27.809
That kind of thing.

162
00:09:28.629 --> 00:09:32.070
This situation should already be thought about so that all

163
00:09:32.090 --> 00:09:34.409
they have to do is just reach over, do the thing,

164
00:09:34.470 --> 00:09:35.029
take care of it.

165
00:09:35.889 --> 00:09:40.320
Sometimes girls think it's fun that, you know, like a

166
00:09:40.340 --> 00:09:41.700
water wiggle. Yeah, where's it going to go?

167
00:09:41.720 --> 00:09:47.399
It reminds them of like a sixth grade volcano science

168
00:09:47.519 --> 00:09:48.039
fair thing.

169
00:09:49.740 --> 00:09:53.049
I am convinced there is a correlation between also why

170
00:09:53.090 --> 00:09:54.269
they love to pop pimples.

171
00:09:57.149 --> 00:10:05.779
Could be. It's that release of pressure. thing, like, ooh. So, okay,

172
00:10:05.799 --> 00:10:07.679
I get what you're saying, Jerry and Trey. It's like,

173
00:10:07.779 --> 00:10:12.059
in order to, if you're the recipient here, create an

174
00:10:12.100 --> 00:10:17.820
environment conducive to these types of car shenanigans.

175
00:10:17.840 --> 00:10:18.139
Absolutely.

176
00:10:18.700 --> 00:10:22.789
Absolutely. Uh, which the sad thing would be is if

177
00:10:22.850 --> 00:10:27.049
your car's always ready for it, but then it never happens.

178
00:10:28.029 --> 00:10:30.940
Cause then you're just always going to be looking at

179
00:10:30.980 --> 00:10:33.700
that cup going like that cup sure is dry. Cause

180
00:10:33.720 --> 00:10:35.559
do you really want to have to explain that mess

181
00:10:35.620 --> 00:10:38.179
when you get to wherever you're going? I wonder, I

182
00:10:38.220 --> 00:10:40.220
wonder if she wonders why I always have a big

183
00:10:40.259 --> 00:10:41.299
gulp cup in my car.

184
00:10:44.000 --> 00:10:46.779
Here's a question for you. And this is as just

185
00:10:46.860 --> 00:10:51.230
honest and real as it gets. At our age, do

186
00:10:51.309 --> 00:10:53.889
any of you foresee this actually being a problem?

187
00:10:55.210 --> 00:11:00.870
No. No. This was a thing for, like, you know, 20s,

188
00:11:00.860 --> 00:11:07.360
30s-year-old big Dan. It was like, yeah, like, yeah, 40,

189
00:11:07.360 --> 00:11:09.639
46-year-old Dan is just like, you know, just hand me

190
00:11:09.659 --> 00:11:10.279
the MapQuest.

191
00:11:12.159 --> 00:11:12.440
I mean.

192
00:11:12.460 --> 00:11:14.090
I'm so sorry, guys.

193
00:11:14.139 --> 00:11:16.309
I would never, I would never turn one down, but

194
00:11:16.370 --> 00:11:20.340
I just don't, you know. I don't see this being

195
00:11:20.379 --> 00:11:20.799
an issue.

196
00:11:21.799 --> 00:11:25.120
Look, every relationship is different. Obviously, as Jerry takes a long,

197
00:11:25.220 --> 00:11:29.460
slow pull from his Buc-ee's cup, which keeping in mind,

198
00:11:29.679 --> 00:11:32.220
I don't think he's actually taking any actual road trips.

199
00:11:32.679 --> 00:11:35.620
He just goes to Buc-ee's as the primer for his

200
00:11:35.639 --> 00:11:38.500
girlfriend to know that as soon as they leave Buc-ee's,

201
00:11:38.919 --> 00:11:43.379
it's time to go to Yankee's. And then he just

202
00:11:43.399 --> 00:11:47.679
slowly turns the car around and goes back home. Not

203
00:11:47.720 --> 00:11:50.750
going to Hot Springs today. Today, I am your hot springs.

204
00:11:53.750 --> 00:12:00.070
I like that. You can use it. If you want

205
00:12:00.110 --> 00:12:03.470
it to happen, have an environment conducive to planning ahead, sure.

206
00:12:03.870 --> 00:12:05.669
Then if you're the one that's going to be giving

207
00:12:05.750 --> 00:12:08.629
the thing, you too should probably look around and think, okay,

208
00:12:08.649 --> 00:12:10.750
what am I going to do? Just think a few

209
00:12:10.789 --> 00:12:14.090
steps into the future. Do not ever leave the vehicle

210
00:12:14.110 --> 00:12:21.100
to do that. That's just super crime. You don't want that.

211
00:12:25.700 --> 00:12:28.419
What is the other etiquette? I think we've covered most

212
00:12:28.450 --> 00:12:33.970
of the bases. Covered the cleaning up. That's the main thing.

213
00:12:36.490 --> 00:12:40.450
In the chat, our man Mackie, it may be criminal activity,

214
00:12:40.529 --> 00:12:43.080
but it's a damn fun activity. Hey, look, Mackie, you're

215
00:12:43.120 --> 00:12:47.570
not wrong, but let's be honest here. One law enforcement

216
00:12:47.590 --> 00:12:53.409
official's crime is another man's good time. Also, AAJ says,

217
00:12:53.450 --> 00:12:59.690
depends on how fast you're going. Diego, road trip fun

218
00:12:59.750 --> 00:13:01.830
can be fun. Just don't get caught by other drivers

219
00:13:02.230 --> 00:13:08.620
or at rest areas. That's also a big no-no. Although

220
00:13:08.629 --> 00:13:13.539
I will say, rest stop loving. Rest stops have come along. Sorry,

221
00:13:14.700 --> 00:13:17.250
unintended pun. But rest stop areas have come a long

222
00:13:17.309 --> 00:13:20.850
way over the years. Like, they're actually really nice now.

223
00:13:21.529 --> 00:13:22.450
I've hit a number of them.

224
00:13:23.049 --> 00:13:23.309
Really?

225
00:13:23.889 --> 00:13:30.850
To pee, Trey. To pee. Sure. I'm not cruising. I'm

226
00:13:30.950 --> 00:13:38.429
on cruise control. I am not cruising. I love AJ

227
00:13:38.470 --> 00:13:41.370
in the chat for making the space in the car

228
00:13:41.450 --> 00:13:46.169
ready for some romantic things to happen. Why do you

229
00:13:46.210 --> 00:13:48.750
have that cup and napkins? Do you dip? No, I

230
00:13:48.769 --> 00:13:55.389
just have expectations. That, that is a pickup line in

231
00:13:55.409 --> 00:14:00.169
the car if I've ever heard one. All right. Do

232
00:14:00.190 --> 00:14:02.590
you feel like we've covered that pretty well, Trey, as

233
00:14:02.629 --> 00:14:05.730
far as the etiquette for a handy in the car?

234
00:14:05.750 --> 00:14:06.250
All right, good.

235
00:14:07.350 --> 00:14:12.960
Speaking of etiquette, in the world of broadcasting, you're really

236
00:14:13.029 --> 00:14:17.470
not supposed to swear. And I know it's really difficult

237
00:14:17.509 --> 00:14:22.049
for all of us as Cowboys fans because we swear

238
00:14:22.120 --> 00:14:26.139
by watching the games all the time, right? But it's

239
00:14:26.179 --> 00:14:30.100
nice to know that even Tom Brady gets caught up. Now,

240
00:14:30.799 --> 00:14:33.779
Trey and I played this earlier this week. We didn't

241
00:14:33.820 --> 00:14:39.899
even hear the game audio during the Cowboys game, right?

242
00:14:40.850 --> 00:14:44.110
But Tom Brady, when Jaden Daniels turned his arm the

243
00:14:44.149 --> 00:14:45.379
wrong way, was all of us.

244
00:14:45.470 --> 00:14:45.730
Ready.

245
00:14:47.129 --> 00:14:49.470
Oh, shit. Oh, no. Excuse me.

246
00:14:49.889 --> 00:14:54.429
Was not expecting to see that.

247
00:14:55.690 --> 00:14:58.029
Jerry, did you watch any of the game? I did not.

248
00:15:00.590 --> 00:15:02.700
Watched most of the game. Actually, watched all the game.

249
00:15:02.860 --> 00:15:04.289
Didn't hear in the audio because I was in a

250
00:15:04.340 --> 00:15:06.940
Seattle bar and the Seahawks were playing at the same time.

251
00:15:07.259 --> 00:15:10.139
So I missed this little gem of Tom Brady. What

252
00:15:10.179 --> 00:15:10.500
is it, Trey?

253
00:15:11.139 --> 00:15:12.019
No.

254
00:15:12.039 --> 00:15:14.480
Okay. Is everything okay? You had like a concerned look

255
00:15:14.519 --> 00:15:18.279
on your face. Yeah. Okay, cool. So let's enjoy Tom

256
00:15:18.299 --> 00:15:21.100
Brady one more time for Jerry here. Oh, shit.

257
00:15:22.370 --> 00:15:24.039
Oh, no.

258
00:15:24.070 --> 00:15:27.110
I was not expecting to see that. None of us

259
00:15:27.129 --> 00:15:29.929
were expecting to see that, Tom. But that wasn't all.

260
00:15:29.990 --> 00:15:33.850
Tom Brady wasn't done. Then I think it was on Tuesday,

261
00:15:34.090 --> 00:15:39.169
Monday afternoon, Tuesday afternoon, something like that, was this other Jim...

262
00:15:39.549 --> 00:15:44.580
from Tom Brady during the Cowboys broadcast. Three touchdowns, two

263
00:15:44.740 --> 00:15:47.000
in the 20 yards, 24-29 on a second and long here.

264
00:15:47.580 --> 00:15:52.299
Rifles one, CD land. Oh, my goodness. Beauty of a

265
00:15:52.379 --> 00:15:55.159
throw from Dak Prescott on target.

266
00:15:57.980 --> 00:16:00.500
Absolute piss missile up the sideline.

267
00:16:00.519 --> 00:16:06.110
Sabre's still stinking in cover two. And CD settles in

268
00:16:06.149 --> 00:16:10.269
that hole. Martin can't get over there on time. Absolute

269
00:16:10.409 --> 00:16:13.129
piss missile out of Tom Brady's mouth. I mean, that

270
00:16:13.190 --> 00:16:18.759
is A. A, he is not wrong. B, I don't know.

271
00:16:19.620 --> 00:16:23.919
I know Fox is the more fun football network, but

272
00:16:23.940 --> 00:16:25.879
I don't know if he got in trouble at all

273
00:16:25.919 --> 00:16:30.340
for calling it an absolute piss missile on the air.

274
00:16:30.500 --> 00:16:32.059
As much as they're paying him, they're not going to

275
00:16:32.139 --> 00:16:33.000
say shit to him.

276
00:16:35.360 --> 00:16:38.000
Don't they have dump buttons on television?

277
00:16:38.019 --> 00:16:41.159
Why would you dump out of that?

278
00:16:42.240 --> 00:16:45.940
You actually can say it. You can. It's just that

279
00:16:46.019 --> 00:16:49.259
typically on these games, you don't expect them to, right?

280
00:16:49.840 --> 00:16:53.519
There's no FCC fine here. You can say piss. I'm

281
00:16:53.570 --> 00:16:54.590
talking about the first one.

282
00:16:55.210 --> 00:16:56.570
Oh, no, the first one.

283
00:16:57.409 --> 00:16:59.309
Yeah, I don't think they hit the delay. They didn't

284
00:16:59.330 --> 00:17:01.470
hit the delay on that one. So I'm with you.

285
00:17:01.870 --> 00:17:04.470
When he says OS in the middle of the broadcast,

286
00:17:04.490 --> 00:17:06.150
they should have dumped out of that. They didn't. I

287
00:17:06.190 --> 00:17:11.960
don't know why. But the piss missile thing was great

288
00:17:11.980 --> 00:17:20.509
just because that is raw color commentary. And because of that,

289
00:17:20.640 --> 00:17:25.309
Tom Brady is now my favorite play-by-play guy. I want

290
00:17:25.369 --> 00:17:28.069
more of this. I've said for years, and Trey, you

291
00:17:28.089 --> 00:17:31.359
and I have talked about this for years. because Monday

292
00:17:31.380 --> 00:17:34.440
night football had ratings issues for so many years after

293
00:17:34.480 --> 00:17:37.069
being at the top of the football ratings, we were like,

294
00:17:37.309 --> 00:17:40.069
you know what? Bring in some, like when they brought

295
00:17:40.109 --> 00:17:43.190
in Dennis Miller, I was like, no, you should have

296
00:17:43.230 --> 00:17:49.109
brought in Chris Rock. Like really go like crazy commentary

297
00:17:49.170 --> 00:17:50.920
kind of thing. And you could really have some fun

298
00:17:50.940 --> 00:17:54.299
with it. Saying things like throwing an absolute piss missile.

299
00:17:55.119 --> 00:18:00.339
Well, you know, it's actually, it's mind boggling now that,

300
00:18:00.710 --> 00:18:04.130
There is a whole generation that doesn't even understand that

301
00:18:05.089 --> 00:18:09.049
Monday night football used to be the premier game. And

302
00:18:09.089 --> 00:18:10.890
now it's Sunday night football that really is kind of

303
00:18:10.910 --> 00:18:14.390
the premier game. And Monday night football is really just trash.

304
00:18:15.130 --> 00:18:15.430
It is.

305
00:18:15.470 --> 00:18:17.559
It's such a weird thing how that happened. And it

306
00:18:17.660 --> 00:18:22.039
seemed like it happened really, really fast. And I guess

307
00:18:22.079 --> 00:18:24.740
it was because of Sunday night football. Because as soon

308
00:18:24.799 --> 00:18:28.200
as Sunday night football happened, it just sucked all the

309
00:18:28.259 --> 00:18:30.359
wind out of the sails for Monday night football.

310
00:18:31.460 --> 00:18:35.359
Well, I think one of the things was, at the time,

311
00:18:35.680 --> 00:18:38.019
there was still a little bit of a lag of

312
00:18:38.359 --> 00:18:42.970
penetration between Cagle and broadcast. And so NBC was always

313
00:18:42.990 --> 00:18:45.289
going to be broadcast. For a while, Monday Night Football,

314
00:18:45.309 --> 00:18:47.890
I believe, was just strictly going to be ESPN. Now

315
00:18:47.950 --> 00:18:51.230
they simulcast it on ABC and ESPN.

316
00:18:51.730 --> 00:18:52.990
Yeah. Yeah.

317
00:18:53.470 --> 00:19:01.710
And then you had the kerfuffle of Hank Williams andâ Yeah.

318
00:19:01.789 --> 00:19:06.029
That didn't help. But Monday Night Football was already having

319
00:19:06.089 --> 00:19:09.289
problems before that. That just kind of threw some fuel

320
00:19:09.349 --> 00:19:14.660
on that fire. But yeah, I guess it was. As

321
00:19:14.680 --> 00:19:19.039
soon as they announced and started doing Sunday Night Football,

322
00:19:19.960 --> 00:19:21.839
it just killed the Monday Night vibe.

323
00:19:21.859 --> 00:19:25.829
I feel like we're doing a revisionist history thing.

324
00:19:25.869 --> 00:19:32.549
My brain's not working 100%. It's like, Was Monday Night

325
00:19:32.589 --> 00:19:36.390
Football on a decline already and then Sunday Night Football happened?

326
00:19:38.140 --> 00:19:40.220
They had had issues with Monday Night Football just with

327
00:19:40.240 --> 00:19:44.650
the booth and ratings and everything else. And then I

328
00:19:45.049 --> 00:19:48.970
think NBC simply paid more money to make the Sunday

329
00:19:49.009 --> 00:19:53.000
Night game the premiere. game. And again, and it kind

330
00:19:53.019 --> 00:19:57.839
of was because you had the Hank Williams and I

331
00:19:57.839 --> 00:20:01.380
know it sounds funny, the intro, but Hank Williams was

332
00:20:01.400 --> 00:20:05.220
the intro forever. And then was, was Carrie Underwood, did

333
00:20:05.240 --> 00:20:07.019
she do Monday night? And then they hired, they moved

334
00:20:07.059 --> 00:20:08.400
her over to do the Sunday night.

335
00:20:10.039 --> 00:20:10.420
I don't know.

336
00:20:11.680 --> 00:20:12.400
I really don't know.

337
00:20:12.500 --> 00:20:14.680
I don't know who, who came in and started doing

338
00:20:14.720 --> 00:20:17.890
it after Hank. I don't know if they rotated it

339
00:20:17.990 --> 00:20:20.869
with people. I want to say they rotated it with people. Yeah.

340
00:20:21.029 --> 00:20:24.869
I mean, they still do. And it's kind of weird

341
00:20:25.690 --> 00:20:28.019
because I know, I think I saw it this Monday

342
00:20:28.059 --> 00:20:35.460
and it was, uh, it was the female drummer and

343
00:20:35.539 --> 00:20:40.190
Chris Stapleton. And then it was ludicrous. they were doing

344
00:20:40.230 --> 00:20:43.190
in the air tonight. They're a Phil Collins cover with,

345
00:20:43.269 --> 00:20:48.289
for football. And then they do singing, which Chris Stapleton,

346
00:20:48.309 --> 00:20:51.829
by the way, does. It's amazing how much he sounds

347
00:20:51.849 --> 00:20:52.549
like Phil Collins.

348
00:20:53.490 --> 00:20:53.730
Really?

349
00:20:54.130 --> 00:20:57.650
Yeah. I was shocked at it. I was like, damn, that's,

350
00:20:59.210 --> 00:21:02.509
that's really good. Cause Phil Collins has a fairly unique voice.

351
00:21:04.049 --> 00:21:05.690
And then, and then, yeah, then it all of a

352
00:21:05.690 --> 00:21:09.789
sudden it's a trans, you know, Segues to a ludicrous

353
00:21:09.910 --> 00:21:11.670
rap in the second verse. I was like, okay.

354
00:21:13.029 --> 00:21:15.009
Oh, a transition. I thought you were saying they brought

355
00:21:15.049 --> 00:21:16.970
out a trans person to start singing. It's like, man,

356
00:21:17.009 --> 00:21:20.690
they really have gone the other direction from Hank Williams Jr.

357
00:21:22.509 --> 00:21:25.549
And now to sing the Monday Night Football theme, RuPaul.

358
00:21:28.849 --> 00:21:30.450
Which I'd actually tune in for that.

359
00:21:31.799 --> 00:21:34.599
One. RuPaul's not trans. RuPaul's just a drag queen.

360
00:21:34.640 --> 00:21:40.920
Drag queen, yeah. I don't know what the difference, whatever.

361
00:21:41.099 --> 00:21:42.059
I don't know what the differences are.

362
00:21:42.440 --> 00:21:45.490
Yeah.

363
00:21:45.670 --> 00:21:48.049
I'll call you by whatever name you want. I'm respectful

364
00:21:48.089 --> 00:21:50.869
in that way. If I thought your name was Tom

365
00:21:50.890 --> 00:21:52.869
and you say it's Tina, I'd be like, cool, Tina.

366
00:21:55.099 --> 00:21:58.539
Yeah. RuPaul is just a plain old transvestite, which I

367
00:21:58.559 --> 00:22:00.799
feel like that's a term we've lost.

368
00:22:01.329 --> 00:22:04.410
That's so old hat now. It is weird to think

369
00:22:04.450 --> 00:22:07.650
it's like we all we all got completely accustomed to RuPaul.

370
00:22:08.150 --> 00:22:10.269
And who is the blonde lady? Like there was a

371
00:22:10.289 --> 00:22:11.950
blonde lady at one point that was sort of a

372
00:22:11.970 --> 00:22:14.990
drag drag queen situation. I feel like that was kind

373
00:22:15.009 --> 00:22:15.670
of a celebrity.

374
00:22:16.069 --> 00:22:16.329
Yeah.

375
00:22:16.349 --> 00:22:17.450
I mean, everyone.

376
00:22:17.539 --> 00:22:20.160
Eddie Izzard. Yeah.

377
00:22:20.740 --> 00:22:23.259
Eddie Izzard. Everyone was kind of like, all right, so

378
00:22:23.599 --> 00:22:24.980
this guy wears women clothes.

379
00:22:25.000 --> 00:22:25.339
Cool.

380
00:22:25.359 --> 00:22:26.029
We're fine with it.

381
00:22:27.319 --> 00:22:30.559
I don't remember if it was which comedy special it was.

382
00:22:30.859 --> 00:22:35.920
But he did a whole bit about, no, I'm a transvestite,

383
00:22:35.940 --> 00:22:41.160
which means I just like wearing women's clothes. It's nothing sexual.

384
00:22:41.509 --> 00:22:42.680
That was Dressed to Kill, I believe.

385
00:22:43.029 --> 00:22:47.470
Yeah, I think that was. And then now, fast forward,

386
00:22:47.869 --> 00:22:53.029
when you have everything that just went bat-ass crazy, now,

387
00:22:53.329 --> 00:22:55.109
at one point, he was going by a woman's name.

388
00:22:55.210 --> 00:22:58.799
I think it was like Tina or something. And I

389
00:22:58.839 --> 00:23:00.950
don't know if he's gone... I don't know.

390
00:23:01.670 --> 00:23:03.990
I don't know. But like I said, I mean, if

391
00:23:04.079 --> 00:23:06.400
Eddie Izzard wants me to call him Edwina, if I

392
00:23:06.420 --> 00:23:08.099
ever get the chance to meet him and talk to him,

393
00:23:08.200 --> 00:23:09.940
I will call him Edwina. Be like, cool. That's no

394
00:23:09.980 --> 00:23:13.059
big deal. Call me Dan, not Danny. To me, it's

395
00:23:13.079 --> 00:23:15.599
the same damn thing. But yeah, it is really weird

396
00:23:15.619 --> 00:23:17.789

Car Handjob Etiquette?! Reddit Asks the Important Questions

Listen On

Recent Episodes

Support On