Dear Treehouse #21: TLC’s Weirdest Shows (Pierced Nipples & Perineum Sunning)

0:01 It is time to leave your worries outside and laugh with us inside the Treehouse. I'm Daniel Malley along with Trey Trenholm and Raj Sharma on our YouTube exclusive episode where we typically do Deer tree House, but instead we're going to do something slightly different. Trey, Yeah, we were going to do Deer Treehouse, and my doing my reading and digging for stuff for Deer tree House, I stumbled upon something else that caught my attention and sent me down a rabbit hole. And so I'm going to share these things with y'all. Now to begin, I would like to just give a refresher of of this.

0:45 This is an image from the nineteen ninety six hit movie Kingpin, where Randy Quaid played an Amish guy named Ishmael. We all remember Whatdy Harrelson, Bill Murray classic movie. In fact, the movie we should probably add to the list of does it hold up? Uh? You know what, I would like to point out that I think this one just shot to the top of the list for the Treehouse reviews on our Patreon. Yeah, I just want to know who did his wig. But wait, there's more. So now we have that ad image in our minds, so I stumbled upon this. So there is a uh a new show on TL called Suddenly Amish.

1:32 Yes, Suddenly Suddenly. It's where people from the outside world I guess, decide they want to try and. Be Amish, try to be Homish. Yeah, so so it's suddenly by choice? Yes, Okay, it's not like. It's not like the Amish mafia kidnapped them and threw them in the middle of an Amish community and said here, good luck. Correct, although that would also be an interesting show. So that's all you want, Roger, it's real. No, it's not. You can't. You can't have a mob without a computer. Actually, all the original mobs had torches and pitchforks, trust me, that's very Amish. Okay, do you know how long it would take them to get to you? Dan on a horse drum carriage.

2:19 Doesn't matter, They'll still get there. They're like, they're like Jason and Friday the thirteenth. You don't need to run, He just needs you to fall. They have to cross an ocean to get to you. There's no means to get there. Sorry, yeah, no, sorry, I've seen the previews for this. I've seen like half an episode. Please keep going because I know exactly what you're talking about. So anyways, I came across this clip and I'd like to I I actually I can't remember the girl's name who is part of the suddenly Amish. She decides she wants to be Amish. But the Amish guy's name is Jacob.

3:06 Oh did you know that I was going to be wearing blue too? No, I had no idea. It was my favorite color. Okay, okay, yeah, Jacob. I kind of have to pry things out of if I could get him to say something. Jacob, So you can't really make this stuff up, but this is true. Well, well, the corn looks. Good, I see it now.

3:47 Yeah, I had no idea that Randy Quaid's character in Kingpin was so lifelike. Uh huh, just a little chubbier, just a bit. They don't have electricity. How do you want them to cut their hair? This? This this is either. Randy Quaid in Kingpin hairstyle that someone in the Amish community saw and then decided to copy because they thought, hey, that looks swell, or Randy Quaid and the makers of king Pinn saw it in the Amish community and stole it from them. But ultimately I think we all know that Will from Stranger Things stole it from all of them, because that's the exact same haircut he has in almost every season of Stranger Things.

4:33 It's a bowl cut. It's the will Byers, this is the this is four seasons of John Goodman in Roseanne. That's okay, So let me get this straight trace. So this particular episode of Suddenly Amish, this woman is the one suddenly Amish. Jacob's been Amish. I'm assuming his entire life, hence his struggle with speaking to women and his haircut. Yeah. Well, I mean, look, if it's Suddenly and you're a guy, maybe it's maybe it's like the military. Maybe they give you that bowl cut on your way in. Now I think. I don't think your options on hairstyles and the Amish community are vast.

5:14 Not many, very limited, not many blowouts. And in the Amish towns. Yeah, I don't think you're getting a high fade or anything. No Amish salons. I would love to do high fades on every homage guy I've ever seen. Yeah, when I first saw this, I I honestly, uh, I had to double check because I thought it was an snl skit. Oh, no. I mean when I saw the preview for it, I was like, yep, that makes sense. It's there are people that are actively trying to be Amish. Well and but but Jacob has some surprises up his up his sleeve.

5:59 So just. Jacob I kind of have to pry things out of if I could get him to say something other than okay, okay, I like your haircut. Okay, yeah, sometimes I get kind of tired of it. But that's kind of an amish style, so I don't style. Really. Oh that's the perfect communicator. Yeah, that's also Jacob's ow face. By the way, I don't want I'm not going to say the word, but it's it's basically right now. You could put Robert Downy. Junior's monologue from Tropic Thunder right here. He's saying, I am they want to be.

6:58 But I'm out, go ahead. I'm like wild and free, you know what I mean. Okay, I have a tattoo. Okay, you don't have any tattoos, do you? Yeah? No, you don't. Really, they're all cutting of hidden. Oh well, I guess they'd have to be where you got them hidden, Jacob, Were. You on my back and on my leg? Oh? My gosh, you don't seem like a tattoo kind of guy. Good for you. Any other secrets you want to I don't. Yeah, Oh you're gonna find out he was he was a he was a dig dancer somewhere like like.

7:44 That's also where he's got one of his That's also where he's got one of his most prize tattoos. Oh he's kind of sweet, man. I'm not gonna lie. He seems very nice in. A simple jack kind of way. Yeah, yeah, yeah, no, I think you're right. I think that's how he goes to bed every night, by watching his head movies. Yeah, but he went full. But clearly. Uh, you know, on the The Rum Springer, he he did some things. Can I ask a quick question about the the garb on the lady's head?

8:28 Yeah, so is that a bra? Like? I'm pretty sure I saw that in Weird Science in one scene. It's his No, they have to put their head. Uh, it's two buns on the sides, and then they have to cover it. Do they have to cover it? Because then they'll look like Princess Leiah And that just gets all the Amish men in a in a Rum Springer. I don't think you. I don't know what turns Amish men on more than a barn lifting. Uh No, I mean lifting a bunch of wood, That's what I'm trying to say. But there's it's this is a funny story about when I just did a show in Philadelphia not too long ago. There are people that drive by because the i'mage still go horse and carriage mm hmm, and they'll throw firecrackers at them.

9:25 And I'm not making this up. Uh. There was one incident where one of the horses was shot and kept going because thought it was a firecracker. And died in the middle of the road. All right, do we need any more evidence that Philadelphians are the worst? Oh? Yeah, they're awful. I mean shooting, shooting Amish horses or throwing firecrackers at them in general, that's just awful. I mean it's juvenile. I get it, Like you know, it's not juvenile juvenile crimes. No, No, to throw firecrackers, not to shoot a horse, I get that.

10:10 Like I'm even throwing fire crackers is illegal in most places these days, especially towards somebody. And when I did it, I didn't realize he was Amish. I was just being a dick like you fit right in and filthy. Yeah so there, yeah, so you gotta keep we gotta keep this going. So Jacob's got a big surprise. I doubt it. Oh no, oh. Does he. Tune me out here next to the scornfield?

10:50 I actually have my nipples pierce too. I'm leaving this show right now. I'm in this show. I am all in on this show. I'm leaving this show right now because I have to go cry the bats up. I just need to know are those nipples connected by a chain and is that connected by the wiener piercing down below? Okay, here's why I pleasing this show right now. Please tell me he's got the triad.

11:31 If he has a butt plug, we're leaving forever. We're never, We're never gonna look at each other again. Well, hang on, that face and nipple piercings. I can't undo. Now, I understand. I don't think you need to be worried about the man with an inserted butt plug. What you need to be worried about is the man who just recently pulled it. Out alid point. Yeah, they call it harvesting. Is he gonna try does he show it you know, let's find out.

12:11 No, Jacob's full of. Surprises, just showing me out here next to the scornfield. I actually have my nipples pears too. No, I think you're lying. I would have been able to see it, I think. No. No, I don't believe can happen. I can't believe that. I can't either. Please don't do it. Let me see. You don't dare to show me you can touch it? Are you sure? Boy? That's how you step it up.

12:52 I don't feel it. Your nipples are hard, but I don't feel it. You promise me you could show me. I just we shold me like this. There you go. I can't evenlieve that. Oh wow, you really and now? God? Oh my god? Is it just me? Or is Jacob into weightlifting? He's got himself a barbelle? Right, you and I just stopped being friends. Because I froze it at this perfect time. Yes, exactly right there. I cannot see that. I kind of feel like our friendship has been solidified because I didn't wake up this morning thinking that i'd be looking at an Amish nipple.

13:40 But here we are. I can't stop looking at it. That's the problem. It's got the gravitational pull like the sun. He's got awful nipples, by the way. Well that's why you got to dress him up. Yeah, maybe that's the dirty Amish secret why they are the way they are. They all have bad nipples. Now if the show was called bad Nipples, I'd watch it. Oh, but this is awful. And uh I'm Indian and we're hairy people. This is I mean, this is on next level.

14:23 I'm not this Harry n that's not that didn't seem that bad. Are you serious? Go look at a shirtless picture of David Hasselhof for Tom Selleck. That's Harry or if you can find one. Robin Williams rest in peach. Robin Williams was It was very Harry man. I think once Bigfoot saw Robin Williams in the forest and was like, who do I call about this? We need to finish this because he undid the suspenders to show the nipples. Oh that's. There, you go, oh wow, you really do both of them even good for you, Oh, Jacob, it's good for you.

15:10 Wow. And he did it more than once. That must have been pain. So that's Jacob who wants the. Only thing he was missing, the only thing he was missing is looking at her after he put his teeth away and said, you really should taste one. Taste one. Look. I imagine the role playing opportunities or options are very limited in the Amish community. So I imagine role playing. Uh, cow and Calf might. Be they can do, they can do. Uh children of the Corn they can.

15:58 If you build it, they will come like they can do all of that. Oh that is true. I mean it's right there. Oh this is just. But what is what is the impetus to want to be Amish? I get it if you read enough comment sections on social media or YouTube. There have been times I've thought, yeah, that might be better. To not have any electronics or any phone or computer or whatever. It seems like an overreaction. But if you find the right or wrong comment section, going Amish seems like a viable option. It's along the same lines as saying I don't want to live on this planet anymore kind of a thing. And then you're like, well, okay, I want I don't necessarily want to leave the planet.

16:48 I just want to go to one much simpler time. Or you can just turn everything off. You know, there's that option too. Sure, Yeah, you don't have to be Amish. You can be offish, just turn everything off and go to sleep. Well, one requires more of a commitment. That's just a grumpy old man. I mean he can kind of equate it to quitting drinking, like Trey has done. So Trey has gone sort of the Amish route when it comes to drinking. Not gonna happen ever again, and there's no temptation on it.

17:31 Kind of a deal. He can't just you know, put a glass in front of him and not drink it. I mean he could, but he doesn't do that on the regular basis, which would be the electronic equivalent. No, but I mean he still likes his Starbucks. I don't think the Amish do that. Like he has to have his vanilla cold brew, right, Yeah. That's on his manly days. Yeah, but you know we've moved from the cinnamon latte. Is that where we've moved from? Yeah? Yeah, no, it would vanilla colbrew. These days, vanilla col brew. See, and that's an everyday thing. No oh no, no. Look, okay, trust me, I'm sure the Amish, for all their limitations on things, they still have certain addictions or things that they still cling to. Within their amish construct.

18:23 So they may not drink. They may not. I don't even I don't know if they dance or not. But like Trey, I bet, I bet they love some snicker doodle cookies. Yeah. I mean, Jacob didn't look like he had missed a meal. He has his nipples peers, he didn't miss anything. So after going down that rabbit hole, I found another one. Oh boy, no, I'd like. My body is very in tune with that. Introduce shall the terra Tara. Okay, this is not my terra for anything.

19:04 This is not your terra. I I hope not. I had an God rest your soul. But yeah, well let's let's meet Tara. When the sun comes up in the morning. My body is very in tune with that, and I just naturally always wake up whenever the sun rises, and I do my morning ritual sending my perennium. I'm sorry, yep, I heard it. This is and I do my morning ritual sending my perennium. Uh huh. This is the whitest thing I've ever seen in my life.

19:45 I think it has to be, because I think if you're if not, I don't know how you could tell you're sunning your paranem. Right, when did the learning channels stop learning? They just gave up, Like, you know what, let's just go step it. This this is called fuck it. That's what the show should be called. I think it's called this is called My Strange Addiction. Oh gotcha? Okay, so yeah, you know, yeah. Pick up whenever the sun rises and I do my morning ritual sending my perennium. I like to place my perennium directly towards the sun because it's the divine masculine energy to activate it.

20:31 It's one. Oh I wonder why I'm alone? Oh no, trust me, she's not alone. Somewhere the cord, Jacob is watching. He's watching hard. He's rubbing his pierce nipples. He looks like the guy for the water Boy, the fat guy with pierce nippoles. And no one could understand the Cajun version of Jacob.

21:19 Fords the sun because it's the divine masculine energy that activates it. Its warm, penetrative rays provide vitamin D essential for. My well being. Okay, how. How many people volunteered for this shoot? Like in that production meeting at TLC Central, how many camera operators or directors of Photography coincidentally known as DPS were like, hands up, I got this one. I volunteer his tribute for the sunning peraneum woman.

22:04 They just sent her three iPhones and they're like, please do this yourself. Anything more than that is an HR violation. I mean, if you were the crew that had just filmed Jacob's pierce nipples, this sounds like a bonus. You're right, Trey, if you just got done with the almost Jacob shoot, you've earned Tara's sunning her paraneum shoot. I would, Danny, I would go back to Jacob. I'm like, I'm sorry, we left, We've seen too much. We're back here to you. Now, that's our fault. We would like to be amish as well. It turns out we think you're onto something.

22:52 You don't want to meet her real quick? Was that a dude in the bathtub or yes, well, while while. She was on her paraneum doing downward facing dog okay, just checking. I like the sun to hit not just my perineum, but my genital is ananus, so I like to stretch in different ways to allow the sunlight to reach me. I know it's distracting, but did you guys notice the highway just off in the distance. Yes, it's surprised. Nobody honked. I just just wait.

23:36 Oh, so she's now doing I don't know what yoga pos you. She's quite flexible. Uh yeah, one leg on the ground. One I'm a big fan of the American flag in the back. Yeah, she's saluting it in her special way. Something Greenwood's playing in the background. I'm going to go to the roof now. Oh no, she really enjoys to stay in her nakedness, in her enjoyment of nature and sensory experiences after she sons, so it often.

24:23 I'm sorry to interrupt this, but I have a genuine question. Is this the guy that led my hike on Mount Rain near last year? It looks a lot like him. Oh, I didn't know her boyfriend was gay. And there's that, especially if you go back and think about that cute hattie had on. In the tub. Yeah, because who wears a hat to the tub a commercial? Yeah, there's there's two places you wear a hat and tub this Alice commercial, this guy and Lee Major's on the fall guy.

25:05 Oh and seed Thear's springs. There's there's a lot. There's a lot of tubs in the hat over there, like, but that. Just wasn't I think that was more like a bolero than than just a regular hat. So you know, oh good, gotcha? Okay, so helps our is that? Okay, we're in the tub. Clearly, I just don't get. It wet. Nature and he does experience. This guy doesn't get anything wet, he. Says after she sons, so it often helps our sex life.

25:57 Oh good? She finally, she finally took off the bra. I thought it was silly for her to be sunning her privates while wearing a bra. So so now she's. Now she looks like wine own a rider in the South Park movie Just pink pong balls waiting. Pointed towards the highway, it seemed hms wear hulks. I would throw her off surprise. I would throw her off the roof. That's that's what I would do. I would just kick her straight in the back of the head, off the roof. What was that, honey? Did you hear something?

26:44 I feel like I here's something something back there. I don't know, I can't quite place it. There's a forty two car pile up there on Route sixty six. If you're not sure. It could be a forty two car pile up in. Her Yeah, it's it's at mile marker Vagina. Jeez, white people are weird. That's not fair. Do not lump her into all white people because she's weird to us too. Yeah, ad show, it's a lot of you guys. I'm just saying there's very few people of color on this new season.

27:39 I don't know anything about it. I have seen a couple of clips online, though, I saw a black dude eating cardboard. So it's not all white people. No, No, that's the one. No, no, No, there's another. There's another. There's another person of color as well. Uh, there's another black gentleman who's I don't know, he's eating something. I don't know what it is. But they got one guy sat cardboard and then and there's a different guy doing something else. So it's not just you know, TLC is still diverse in their casting. On my strange addiction. But I do appreciate the fact that she, you know, is you know, like stretching, like, oh, she that's good for the body.

28:20 Yeah, I mean, clearly she does her yoga. This is a tray. When we invented yoga, this is not what we had in mind. How do you know you weren't there when it was invented. They may have started out this way. Yeah, I mean they could have invented the Kamma cutra. You know, hand in hand. It wouldn't be hand in hand. That's a little too vanilla for the komma search er. It's more like hand in something else. It'd be hand in her is what it would be. She's a puppet.

29:01 Watch make her talk. Yeah, that's a ventriloquis show i'd go to. Yeah, would as well. But I mean she's she's doing a thing, looks very fit. Yeah, I'll give her that. Yeah, it's it is a worry I have that someone will see her and then she'll have an experience and interaction that is unwanted while she's sunning. Yeah, eventually someone's gonna drive by, blow their horn and go. Nice, can't mm hmm and take it as an invitation, which, let's be honest. If if if you.

29:42 Are driving by on that particular stretch of highway and you just happen to look to your left towards the horizon and you see a woman presenting like a baboon on the top of her camper. I would take that as an invitation, So I get I get where he's coming from. I mean, you're at least gonna go down there and see what other attractions they have, because if that's what they're sting to the road, who knows. Yeah, the God, you are not lying. And I think we just found the way to take down BUCkies. I was about to say the same thingies. Yes, I just hope the bathrooms clean.

30:25 Whatever, what doesn't even matter. I can't wait to make the logo. Talk about beaver nuggets. Oh, we are so gonna get sued, but it'll be sore for all things Treehouse, Treehouse on air, dot com to catch the regular Treehouse Show podcast episodes. We are available on all major podcasts and streaming platforms Spotify, iHeart Apple, and more. See you next time right Here inside Dainties Inside the Treehouse, m